Monday Night Football, through the eyes of Marcus Vick:
It begins with anticipation:
However, things go wrong quickly:
Marcus looks to the past for solutions:
Marcus starts making demands, using the royal "we":
Marcus Vick, General Manager:
He knows you're tweetin' but he can't hear you:
I hear Homeland's really good:
The softer side of Marcus:
Marcus reveals his metric for judging QBs, subtly revealing the lie he uses to convince himself that he was once good:
Teams with good offensive lines, call Marcus:
No longer part of an upper tax bracket, Marcus just doesn't find the Republican platform very appealing:
Being a 1st round draft pick reduced to the fourth option in the running game is, apparently, Beast Mode:
The former Eagles defensive playmaker changed sex and went R&B:
Despite Marcus's assertion, at the time of this tweet, LeSean McCoy had 103 rushing yards. He would finish the game with 119 yards, on a 6.3 per carry average.
Blast! Marcus was so busy on Twitter, he missed out on the evening's opportunities:
Marcus had no time for idioms class at VaTech:
There are only 3 teams in NFL history who have given up over 500 points in a season - most recently the 0-16 2008 Lions. The Tennessee Titans are not only on pace to become the 4th, but they're on pace to beat the 1981 Colts' record of 533 points yielded (current Titans pace: 547.5 points).
Despite what Marcus Vick tells us, the idea that the Eagles offensive line has been excessively deficient does not bear up to scrutiny. On the whole, they grade out fairly positively. However, they are attempting to protect a quarterback who has serious awareness issues. Last season, only Tim Tebow held onto the ball in the pocket longer than Vick, and Vick appears to have regressed further in 2012. Part of the reason Vick appears to have so little time is that he fails to pick up his responsibility against the blitz. On multiple occasions, the Saints overloaded one side, or blitzed one more man than was in protection, to get a free rusher. The extra man is the QB's responsibility, and Vick almost always failed to recognize it.
The above said, Andy Reid needs to be beaten with a stick every time he calls a play with scat protection. It puts Vick in a situation that he's just not quick enough to recognize and deal with.
Also, the Eagles line will suffer now with OT Todd Herremans headed to IR.
Christian Ponder, holy crap man. The early season promise is regressing hard.
Every few years, there's a defense/special teams that's a fantasy difference maker. That's Chicago this year.
Probably for the first time since he started playing, Blaine Gabbert has been giving me good feelings about his future. The team overall sucks, but he has been much more decisive, much more accurate, and he's finally throwing with confidence. And that big arm that made him a high draft pick is finally showing. He really needs Justin Blackmon to get with the program.
It was a road team sweep last week, and only one player managed to get 4 right. I guess that'll silence any question of the picks being too easy for one week at least.
Falcons at Saints: Atlanta's pursuit for perfection continues. New Orleans has rebounded from an 0-4 start to go 3-1 in their second four games. The turnaround in New Orleans has been impressive, but their defense is still a major liability. Atlanta has been winning without dominating, making them appear far more vulnerable than you'd expect from an 8-0 team. I'm still picking the Falcons but every week they look prime for a loss to an inferior opponent.
Lions at Vikings: Oh Christian Ponder, stop making my pre-draft faith in you look so bad. In spite of Ponder's recent struggles, the Vikings find themselves at 5-4 and still very much in the mix. Adrian Peterson picking up his game has of course helped. Detroit currently finds themselves in the NFC North basement, but at 4-4, they're far from out of it either. I'm taking the Lions on the road.
Cowboys at Eagles: The good news for everyone involved is that someone (probably) has to win. Romo and Vick take their respective 3-5 teams to the field in Philly, where Dallas is a narrow 1.5 point favorite. King Dunlap will have his hands full with DeMarcus Ware. Dunlap, despite what Marcus Vick would tell us, is an adequate left tackle, but really not much more than that. Adequate's not good enough to shut down Ware. Cowboys.
Texans at Bears: Two of the best defenses in the NFL face off in an anti-fantasy-football rumble at Soldier Field on Sunday Night. Houston seems well-equipped to give Jay Cutler fits, while the Bears defense would seem up to the task of bottling up Arian Foster. One of our first looks at a playoff-quality non-divisional matchup this year. I'm taking the Bears at home but this game is obviously up for grabs.
Chargers at Buccaneers: Tampa's offensive explosion continues, this time on the back of Doug "Muscle Hamster" Martin. San Diego showed some offensive life of their own last week, piling up three fourth-quarter TDs against Kansas City. Now, these two teams who thumped on the bottom of the AFC West face each other, both at .500 and trying to climb the ladder back into playoff contention. I've gotta go with the Buccaneers because I just don't have much faith in San Diego, ever.
Last week's results:
Jolly Bill: 0-5
Season to date:
Jolly Bill: 19-24