A personal announcement, emphatic thank-you, and cheers to Fedora.

1Dgaf wrote:

I've never spoken to Fedora, but if he's an arse don't treat him any differently. If someone I detest tells me he's got cancer, well, he's someone I detest with cancer. No change in status there.

They are joking... um I think...

FedoraMcQuaid wrote:
1Dgaf wrote:

I've never spoken to Fedora, but if he's an arse don't treat him any differently. If someone I detest tells me he's got cancer, well, he's someone I detest with cancer. No change in status there.

They are joking... um I think...

No Fedora, its true. You have cancer.

CheezePavilion wrote:

My username is a reference to a Billy Bragg lyric in a different song; this is the first BB song I ever heard: saw the video on 120 Minutes years and years ago.

"He said some things are really left best unspoken/But I prefer it all to be out in the open"

I obviously love many of his lyrics, but I always did love that one especially. I am glad to hear you guys feel safe enough here that it's good for it all to be out in the open.

Awesome song. I wasn't much into BB back in the day. He was too cheery-seeming for my 13 year old brain to handle. Teenagers are dumb.

I'm late to the party (but didn't it blow out quickly!), but congratulations guys! High fives all 'round!

Come visit my mausoleum sometime in Beijing. Put your hand on the glass box containing my desiccated, waxen corpse, and I will muster the strength to high-five it.

May you never need to hide in plain sight (or anywhere else) again, guys.

FedoraMcQuaid wrote:
1Dgaf wrote:

I've never spoken to Fedora, but if he's an arse don't treat him any differently. If someone I detest tells me he's got cancer, well, he's someone I detest with cancer. No change in status there.

They are joking... um I think...

Disaster averted. He is definitely a thoughtful, genteel individual. /cancer off

1Dgaf always keeping things legitimate. No wasted sentiment with that one.

What a great thread! Congrats you two!

Good for both of you. May the rest of your family/friends be as supportive as the great crew here.

SillyRabbit wrote:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss

Sigged!

*stealth edit for sig accuracy.

Yellek wrote:

Good for both of you. May the rest of your family/friends be as supportive as the great crew here.

SillyRabbit wrote:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss

Sigged!

Hate to rain on your parade, but it wasn't Seuss.

Saw this yesterday and then explode in a wave of congratulations, support and hurrahs.
I saw it on my (crappy) Playbook tablet so posting what I wanted to say was a pain.

First and foremost, I'm proud of the community; for nurturing the sentiment of family and friends for so long and among so many intimate topics that it allowed both of you to come out in complete confidence.

I think we are the geometric opposite of 4chan just because of threads such as these.
If it hasn't been added to the Goodjer Bible, it should definitely needs to. Right away.

Congratulations to all, especially both NSMike and Fedora.

El-Taco-the-Rogue wrote:
Yellek wrote:

Good for both of you. May the rest of your family/friends be as supportive as the great crew here.

SillyRabbit wrote:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss

Sigged!

Hate to rain on your parade, but it wasn't Seuss.

It was actually Hitler.

And, for good measure, a Rugby player on Ohio State comes out.

I'd just like everyone to note, that I don't hate the OSU dude because he's gay, I hate him because I f*cking hate OSU (you'll get me to use the "The" over my dead body).

Needed a pick me up this morning.

Glanced at GWJ. See this thread up to 9 pages. Better mood already.

Some news... I sent an email to my cousin last night. She and I are very close in age and have been good friends since we were young children. She has some conservative leanings but is also far more liberal than a lot of the family, and of all the people I could think of in the family, she's the one I trust the most with this, first. I got her reply this morning.

Mike's Cousin wrote:

First of all, I want you to know that what you did I can only imagine is a very terrifying thing...and I think that you are very brave in doing so. I am glad that you know that you can trust me, and Ommar (her husband) as well, and we will always respect your wishes. I am sad and so sorry that this is something that you have had to struggle with for so long, and I hope that starting to come out to those in your life will help to alleviate that struggle. This does not make us view you any differently. You are our family and we love you. You have our full support, and we will do anything that we can to help you through this difficult endeavor. Whenever you are ready to chat, give me a call...and if you ever need a place to get away for a while, you know you can stay with us.....

Ok...I am off to bed.....

Keep your head up and stay strong

That's about a positive a reaction as one could hope for.

Much luck for the rest of this journey, and remember you ain't walkin' this road alone (sorry, I'm watching Rango as I type this).

Grenn wrote:

Nobody has confirmed whether or not I can still hate Fedora. I would just go on hating him, but as a general rule, I do the opposite of what Nathanial does. Quite the pickle.

Allowing his sexual preference to change your feelings would be homophobic, hate away.

As for the serious stuff I have nothing to add except my voice to the chorus. Well done to both of you, be strong.

Hugs to both of you for being brave and being true to yourselves. I wish you both strength in the times to come as you inform more people. I'm sure some of the reactions will be negative, but know that by doing this you are making things a tiny bit easier for other people to come out. I'm sure that knowing you have the support of this community will help; having seen what this place has done for other people, I know that the support is not just moral in nature. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. Your posts, as well as the responses, brought many a tear to my eyes.

Hugs to the community for being as awesome as it is. You guys and gals do not amaze me anymore, since awesome is mostly what I expect from this place. Please don't ever change.

El-Taco-the-Rogue wrote:

That's about a positive a reaction as one could hope for.

Much luck for the rest of this journey, and remember you ain't walkin' this road alone (sorry, I'm watching Rango as I type this).

You would think that such a positive reaction would make me feel good, but I'm just getting more terrified than I have been of all of this. I have basically the exact opposite feeling today than I did yesterday and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I started down this road and know that I have to finish it, and that there will be unavoidable potholes, or maybe even burning bridges, along the way... I don't know. I'm just suddenly way more reluctant and scared.

NSMike wrote:

Some news... I sent an email to my cousin last night. She and I are very close in age and have been good friends since we were young children. She has some conservative leanings but is also far more liberal than a lot of the family, and of all the people I could think of in the family, she's the one I trust the most with this, first. I got her reply this morning.

Mike's Cousin wrote:

First of all, I want you to know that what you did I can only imagine is a very terrifying thing...and I think that you are very brave in doing so. I am glad that you know that you can trust me, and Ommar (her husband) as well, and we will always respect your wishes. I am sad and so sorry that this is something that you have had to struggle with for so long, and I hope that starting to come out to those in your life will help to alleviate that struggle. This does not make us view you any differently. You are our family and we love you. You have our full support, and we will do anything that we can to help you through this difficult endeavor. Whenever you are ready to chat, give me a call...and if you ever need a place to get away for a while, you know you can stay with us.....

Ok...I am off to bed.....

Keep your head up and stay strong

Dude, I wish had family like that (thankfully we have good friends to fill that gap)...

Awesome milestone (first family disclosure) and great reaction from your cousin. I hope the others are as positive, supportive and rewarding.

NSMike wrote:
El-Taco-the-Rogue wrote:

That's about a positive a reaction as one could hope for.

Much luck for the rest of this journey, and remember you ain't walkin' this road alone (sorry, I'm watching Rango as I type this).

You would think that such a positive reaction would make me feel good, but I'm just getting more terrified than I have been of all of this. I have basically the exact opposite feeling today than I did yesterday and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I started down this road and know that I have to finish it, and that there will be unavoidable potholes, or maybe even burning bridges, along the way... I don't know. I'm just suddenly way more reluctant and scared.

This makes complete sense, but you do have support and that's worth it's weight in gold. Your cousin was spot on, keep your head up and stay strong.

NSMike wrote:

You would think that such a positive reaction would make me feel good, but I'm just getting more terrified than I have been of all of this. I have basically the exact opposite feeling today than I did yesterday and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I started down this road and know that I have to finish it, and that there will be unavoidable potholes, or maybe even burning bridges, along the way... I don't know. I'm just suddenly way more reluctant and scared.

Believe me, my friend, I am a man who knows a little bit about being paralyzed by fear of the future. Going through an unexpected divorce and coming out to your family and friends are significantly different, of course, but they have enough in common to make me comfortable saying: What you're feeling is totally normal. I may go from a heady, hopeful excitment for the future to crushing depression in the span of 15 minutes for no discernable reason. It's all part of the process. There's a certain feeling of liberation to what we're both going through and also a wonderful outpouring of support from great people, but in the end neither path is easy to actually to do on a day to day basis.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're going to keep feeling like you feel today, and quite possibly much worse. That's to be expected. But you will also come back quite often to the feeling you had yesterday, especially with this kind of love and support. And if my situation is any indication, your "yesterdays" will slowly and quietly outweigh and outnumber your "todays."

Don't let yourself worry too much about what you may lose or what you can't control. Do not regret change, however painful. Focus instead on what you love and do the best you can with what remains to you.

Keep Calm and Carry On.

NSMike wrote:
El-Taco-the-Rogue wrote:

That's about a positive a reaction as one could hope for.

Much luck for the rest of this journey, and remember you ain't walkin' this road alone (sorry, I'm watching Rango as I type this).

You would think that such a positive reaction would make me feel good, but I'm just getting more terrified than I have been of all of this. I have basically the exact opposite feeling today than I did yesterday and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I started down this road and know that I have to finish it, and that there will be unavoidable potholes, or maybe even burning bridges, along the way... I don't know. I'm just suddenly way more reluctant and scared.

Keep calm and carry on. You haven't done anything wrong, and have nothing of which to be ashamed. The only shame would be to lie or hide things from your friends and family, as that would not allow you to be true to yourself.

Alcohol always helps in these situations, I find:)

NSMike wrote:

You would think that such a positive reaction would make me feel good, but I'm just getting more terrified than I have been of all of this. I have basically the exact opposite feeling today than I did yesterday and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I started down this road and know that I have to finish it, and that there will be unavoidable potholes, or maybe even burning bridges, along the way... I don't know. I'm just suddenly way more reluctant and scared.

There may be potholes and burned bridges... and there may be none of that too.

When I came out it was 1995. I was living in my fraternity, was only out to 1 brother and his girlfriend. She worked for the school paper and interviewed me about what it's like being in the closet in a fraternity. Unfortunately there was enough personal information in the article that a bunch of my brothers figured it out pretty fast. When they started asking me about it, I panicked and denied it. I was worried there would be a huge negative backlash.

But then I realized that if they can't handle it, it's not my frackin' problem, it's theirs. So I stopped lying and admitted it.

Turns out I was more wrong about my brothers than I ever could have imagined. Every single one of them was supportive of me. Their attitude was pretty much "we don't give a flying f•ck, you're still our brother no matter what. We're glad you had the courage to be yourself." And ever since I started coming out, that's been my experience with pretty much everyone I've met.

Now, I know that my story may be rare (heck, my super christian, bible studying aunt even said to me "God just wants you to love who you're meant to love"), but I wanted to let you know that you both could have more positive reactions to your coming out than you expect

NSMike wrote:
El-Taco-the-Rogue wrote:

That's about a positive a reaction as one could hope for.

Much luck for the rest of this journey, and remember you ain't walkin' this road alone (sorry, I'm watching Rango as I type this).

You would think that such a positive reaction would make me feel good, but I'm just getting more terrified than I have been of all of this. I have basically the exact opposite feeling today than I did yesterday and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I started down this road and know that I have to finish it, and that there will be unavoidable potholes, or maybe even burning bridges, along the way... I don't know. I'm just suddenly way more reluctant and scared.

To calm, Internet group hug (via this, which also returns a naked dude butts group hug, for your viewing pleasure!):
IMAGE(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZLqc1qxeK3Q/Thb6DFDh9GI/AAAAAAAAEfg/Ga4SfdQDKww/s1600/group-hug.jpg)

And to psych you up:

toph513 wrote:

Keep Calm and Carry On.

SallyNasty wrote:

Keep calm and carry on.

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/w6ZUN.png)

I don't have the time to read all the comments, so I figured I'd put my own thoughts.

Sometimes my own feelings cloud my perception of the world. Reading two coming-out posts, all I could think was "what's the big deal?". Whenever the topic of gay marriage comes about, I can't help but wonder what the big deal is. I just don't care that people are gay. I don't think it's special. They're just people with different sexual preferences.

But sometimes I'm reminded of just how sh*tty this world is. A few months ago I was over a friend's house talking with his sister, and I was discussing a friend's place I go to every New Years. I made a comment that most of the people there are Christian Gay men, and because I was speaking to another Christian I expected the reaction to be positive. Gay people that are also Christian? That's good! They're not rejecting God because a confused society tends to reject them!

But her face contorted, and with disgust she asked "How does THAT hypocrisy work?" I was taken aback. I didn't expect that reaction. Somehow being gay to these people is worse than being a liar, thief, adulterer and so much more that Christians are every day.

So while my initial reaction may be "what's the big deal?", it is only because, to me, there is nothing wrong or different with your preferences or choices. You're a human being like I am, and what matters is your character. Judging by your posts here on GWJ, both of you, NSMike and Fedora, are good people.

If this ends up cutting off ties with friends or family, then their character is what should be called into question.

I wish that nothing so harsh happens, though. No one should be punished or hated for who they are.

garion333 wrote:
toph513 wrote:

Keep Calm and Carry On.

SallyNasty wrote:

Keep calm and carry on.

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/w6ZUN.png)

From the Penny Arcade store.
IMAGE(http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0042/9942/products/keepcalmrespawn_art.jpg?100322)

You can wear it proudly and be reminded of our supportive community all day long!

People embracing the freedom to be themselves makes me happy.

i38warhawk wrote:
El-Taco-the-Rogue wrote:
Yellek wrote:

Good for both of you. May the rest of your family/friends be as supportive as the great crew here.

SillyRabbit wrote:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss

Sigged!

Hate to rain on your parade, but it wasn't Seuss.

It was actually Hitler.

Are you sure? I think it was Mark Oscar Wilde Twain.

NSMike wrote:
El-Taco-the-Rogue wrote:

That's about a positive a reaction as one could hope for.

Much luck for the rest of this journey, and remember you ain't walkin' this road alone (sorry, I'm watching Rango as I type this).

You would think that such a positive reaction would make me feel good, but I'm just getting more terrified than I have been of all of this. I have basically the exact opposite feeling today than I did yesterday and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I started down this road and know that I have to finish it, and that there will be unavoidable potholes, or maybe even burning bridges, along the way... I don't know. I'm just suddenly way more reluctant and scared.

IMAGE(http://www.glogster.com/blog-thumbs/2/9/18/48/9184844_2.jpg?u=467f54c1fb7215211d92f12d82d8f459)