A personal announcement, emphatic thank-you, and cheers to Fedora.

NSMike wrote:

Uh, well, we are 11 years apart in age I believe, and I'm 29, with Fedora being younger. So, no to your parenthetical.

But... 29 minus 11 is... the magic number!

So happy for you guys

Jayhawker wrote:
NSMike wrote:
SallyNasty wrote:

Have you guys told your family?

No. I'm going to start working my way down from the most likely to be accepting and supportive down to those hardest to tell, hopefully building some allies along the way.

I wish you lots of luck and I hope you find more support than you thought would be there.

Most definitely - wish you all the luck and love in the world.

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

NSMike wrote:
SallyNasty wrote:

Have you guys told your family?

No. I'm going to start working my way down from the most likely to be accepting and supportive down to those hardest to tell, hopefully building some allies along the way.

Best of luck with that! My single biggest piece of advice is to not make a big deal out of it. Don't build it up. Don't tease it out. Drop the bomb and then do your best to go about your life just like you always have. A few people will freak out and try to make it an issue, don't let them. Give them time to absorb it and do your best to be yourself (ie normal) around them.
The ones that don't adapt to this new piece of information are sadly not worth fighting into your reality.
'course... that doesn't work for everyone and you have to follow your heart in the end.
I guess the tl;dr version is: once the initial shock wears off the people worth keeping in your life will realize that the reason they love you isn't affected by who you are attracted to.

For now though: Congrats on accepting this reality about yourself and coming to terms with what it takes for you to be happy, both of you!

FedoraMcQuaid:

You're young. Could be a sexualization issue. I had to decide for myself at about the same age, and I'm still open to the possibility that I could have been mistaken. That said, I haven't ever had a hard on for a man, so I think I'm right. Identifying and owning your sexual identity is an important maturity process for young people.

NSMike:

It saddens me to hear some of the things you have to go through in your family life. That said, I've been blessed with generous and loving parents, but I confess that having to tell them that I'm gay would probably still make me quiver in my shoes, if I were gay.

I can't be there for you since I can't afford the air fare, but I can support you through this forum. Be confident. Be strong. Be happy. And gay.

Congrats to both of you - enjoy your newfound liberation.

Cool!

Congrats guys!
Best of luck with coming out to your families. Know that we're all floating around the internet supporting you as best as we can.

I'll just put this here for if and when your family (or friends) have trouble with your coming out: PFLAG.

Yay Fed and Mike! You should have said something at Penguincon. It would have given us an excuse to drink

*Legion* wrote:
NSMike wrote:

Uh, well, we are 11 years apart in age I believe, and I'm 29, with Fedora being younger. So, no to your parenthetical.

But... 29 minus 11 is... the magic number!

Aww, that's Fedorable!

Yes, I've already been investigating PFLAG. Dan Savage mentions them every time someone calls into his podcast about coming out. Fedora, it's a good resource and you should definitely have it on hand.

*Legion* wrote:
NSMike wrote:

Uh, well, we are 11 years apart in age I believe, and I'm 29, with Fedora being younger. So, no to your parenthetical.

But... 29 minus 11 is... the magic number!

Yes, but, legal does not mean compatible. Fedora can do a lot better than me.

As if I needed another reason to reaffirm why this community is better than any other on the Internet but there it is!

Very happy for both of you guys and I wish you nothing but the best. Cheers!

I know I'm just echoing the crowd at this point, but I'm really happy for you guys and I'm proud to be a member of such a wonderful community.

Aw, GWJ made my day, and it's only 9:40 AM.

Good on both of you guys. I know that sometimes recognizing and being honest about your feelings can be one of the hardest things to do, and then telling everyone else is a whole different can of worms. I'm glad you were both able to navigate all of that and come out (no pun intended) happier for it.

Fedora.....does this mean I can't hate you anymore?

Zachary Quinto came out this weekend, too.

We're not doing Spartacus, Abed.

Congratulations, Mike and Fedora! I'm proud of you two.

Good on you Mike, for finding the courage and the strength to embrace yourself fully and openly.

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:

Zachary Quinto came out this weekend, too.

We're not doing Spartacus, Abed.

Community FTW.

Still just NSMike to me, man.

Good on you guys.

Phishposer wrote:

Yay Fed and Mike! You should have said something at Penguincon. It would have given us an excuse to drink

*Legion* wrote:
NSMike wrote:

Uh, well, we are 11 years apart in age I believe, and I'm 29, with Fedora being younger. So, no to your parenthetical.

But... 29 minus 11 is... the magic number!

Aww, that's Fedorable!

I saw you this weekend. You didn't need an excuse.

I didn't need one either... but then, you enabled me, carrot.

NSMike wrote:

I didn't need one either... but then, you enabled me, carrot.

My pleasure! Beer is your friend.

SallyNasty wrote:
Jeff-66 wrote:

I love this video, and the fact that the only thing the alabama daddy reproaches his son for is for excessive drinking. Heartwarming:)

I haven't watched the vid where he tells his mother yet, but apparently she isn't as receptive.

I grew up in Alabama and was raised as a Southern Baptist. I fully understand what that soldier's fears were about. Like Tigerbill earlier up this thread, I was once a person of a very different way of thinking than I am now, thanks to my sh*tty, deep south fundamentalist childhood indoctrination. Thankfully, about 16 years ago, I finally shed myself of that bigoted, close-minded garbage.

That's why I wanted to highlight Tigerbill's post (page 3), as I immediately saw it as one of the best ones in this thread, and one of the best indicators of the quality of this community:

Tigerbill wrote:

Congrats Mike and Fedora! I will just plus one all the stuff above. Like others have said if you need anything you know how to get a hold of me.

On a side note: You would be the first person I consider a "close friend" who is openly gay. If it wasn't for this site I don't know that my reaction would be positive. This site has taught me that most of the beliefs I was brought up with are just wrong.

I really haven't processed this fully but, I 'm definitely in the "...mmkay, so?" camp; which I guarantee wouldn't have been my reaction 2.5 years ago when I joined.

Hear, hear! Tigerbill. This post warmed my heart.

Grenn wrote:

Fedora.....does this mean I can't hate you anymore?

I plan on treating Fedora with the same contempt I always have.

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:

Zachary Quinto came out this weekend, too.

One of my gay buddies nearly swooned with joy at this news, after having had a crush on him forever. I think the phrase was something along the lines of "now I can die happy."

I have literally nothing to say or add. I just wish we were in a place were saying "I get off with people who have the same gender as mine" wouldn't be a big deal. Or a tiny deal, even.

I just want to warn you that my raunchy old self will keep weirding with everything, no exceptions allowed. In a dark alley, I want everyone scared of what my tongue might do, be they human, mammal, animal, vegetable, handicapped or even ignorant of the subtleties of golf.

However, if I ever get out of line, I count on you to tell me to STFU.

Other people have said it, but I'll chime in and say congrats. I can only imagine that everything will be great and continue to get better when you're happy with yourself.

Congratulations to both of you for standing up and being proud of who you are.

Happy to be part of this community. You all renew my faith in humanity. Good show.