A personal announcement, emphatic thank-you, and cheers to Fedora.

I haven't been following this thread much lately, and for that I'd apologize, except that I'm the one whose been missing out. So I can just apologize to myself.

Hypatian, I just want to throw out that I admire you. It takes guts to deal with a potential change like that in our culture, and I'm glad that you see what you want out of your life and are going to grab it. I support you 100% and, while you don't know me, if you ever need a buddy to chat with just let me know.

There's honestly too much misery in this world, it heartens me when people are able to have the insight to figure out elements of their lives that are dragging them down and then go out and do something about it. If anything, I'm jealous; I don't know what my life needs.

So yeah... mad props, dude. And yes, I call everyone dude, it's gender-neutral in my vocabulary.

Enix wrote:

Have you read Jenny Boylan's book yet? You're living what she went through, but her memoir is from a time well before social networking.

And speaking as a dad, tell your dad. He might not like what's going on in your life, but (assuming your folks are together -- I didn't dig deep enough in the thread to know for sure) your mother will need his help and support so she's able to support you.

The expectation of my mom, my sister, and myself is that if I tell my dad he will blame my mom for "it". It doesn't matter how illogical that is, he'll do it. So... I'm going to reject your suggestion for the time being. It could be he'll surprise me. But it would be completely out of character for him. My dad is a monumental asshole. Example: My three-year-old nephew notices enough to say something about "Why are you being mean, grandpa?" Dad immediately opens up on my sister about "what have you been teaching him?"

He's still my dad, and I still care for him. But I have no high expectations of him, and I'm not going to put my mom in that position without being there to take the brunt of it. (I am 2000 miles away.)

Took me a while to catch up on all of this posting.

Congratulations Hypatian on coming out! This community is here to support you whenever you need it.

Here are a couple other suggestions for trans consumption:
-Grishno has been an awesome resource in understanding what it means to be transgender and go through transition.
-NiNA HERE NOR THERE is about the the writer's(Nick, formerly Nina) experience dealing with other LGBT people and dealing with family through discovery and transition. It's an interesting perspective as Nick was already deeply immersed in the LGBT community because he was a lesbian.

Here are some mash-ups of awesome transitions. You'll see that not everyone transitions the same. Some people take a couple years until it's convincing, others take longer, but I have no clue about who in these pictures used hormones with prescription or without, their dosages, and if any had surgery.
IMAGE(http://i48.tinypic.com/xql0fk.jpg)
IMAGE(http://i46.tinypic.com/osyhbc.jpg)
IMAGE(http://i50.tinypic.com/35b60js.jpg)
IMAGE(http://i46.tinypic.com/svgpzr.jpg)
IMAGE(http://i47.tinypic.com/2z7k77a.jpg)
IMAGE(http://i45.tinypic.com/s2xks2.jpg)
My favourite:
IMAGE(http://i46.tinypic.com/35iyty8.jpg)
aaaand Jesslyn who Hyp had mentioned:
IMAGE(http://i50.tinypic.com/2aify2s.jpg)
I'm just going to put this out there, but maybe everyone should transition if it means more of these hotties.

Please avoid quoting this post or edit the pictures out so we don't duplicate these and end up flooding the thread(always bothers me!)

Of course, it's a bit wrong to focus so much on the physical transition when there's so much more going on.

But... from where I am, it's very heartening to know how much can change. "Fat nerd mode" looks a lot like me way back when I had hair. A bit late for that now, but still. She looks so happy.

*sigh* Haven't heard from my sister in a couple of days. Considering my old communications patterns were like "call every few months", and she's busy with her family and work, that's not so strange. Still... stress. Must remain calm. Meeting tomorrow evening with the woman SuperDave put me in contact with. Hope that goes well. She seems very nice, so I'm sure it will be fine.

Edit:

I met with her this evening, and it was pretty nice. We talked for way longer than we should have, about all sorts of things. There's a fundamental difference in understanding these things between comprehending the feelings involved and truly internally [em]knowing[/em] them. Seeing that knowledge in somebody else's eyes is tremendously comforting.

I'd already come across most of the local resources she pointed me to, but there's a big difference between finding something on the net and having somebody actually tell you what different organizations and people are like. I've been invited to join a gathering of local trans folk in a couple of weeks, which will be nice. (I'm a little anxious about that, because I'm awful with groups of people I don't know--at its worst, it sometimes sends me into a bit of a panic attack. I'm super shy, up until I get to know people, and then I'm super not-shy. But anyway, it should be good.)

Everything's moving so slowly, it feels like I'm in molasses. But... that's just how things have to be. You can't rush anything, and that's something I'm slowly coming to terms with. Tonight I feel like I've taken another small step forward towards my future. It's a nice feeling.

Yay! I'm glad you hit it off.

I heart all the iterations of this thread.

Hypatian, I get your social anxiety (remember that you can ALWAYS leave), but I thought I'd throw this out: Have you ever been in a social setting with a group of people who can truly relate to how you feel? Well, you will soon. I think that's pretty incredible.

Why should I give a sh*t about someone that doesn't give a sh*t about me.

I've got to say, some of those transitions are remarkable.

MrDeVil909 wrote:

I've got to say, some of those transitions are remarkable.

Indeed.

SixteenBlue wrote:
MrDeVil909 wrote:

I've got to say, some of those transitions are remarkable.

Indeed.

I have the weirdest boner : (

Mex wrote:
SixteenBlue wrote:
MrDeVil909 wrote:

I've got to say, some of those transitions are remarkable.

Indeed.

I have the weirdest boner : (

Why's it weird? If they're attractive, they're attractive. For all you know the plumbing has been re-piped so you wouldn't even have a surprise if you got down there

No babies, Mex. NO BABIES!

Trachalio wrote:
Mex wrote:
SixteenBlue wrote:
MrDeVil909 wrote:

I've got to say, some of those transitions are remarkable.

Indeed.

I have the weirdest boner : (

Why's it weird? If they're attractive, they're attractive. For all you know the plumbing has been re-piped so you wouldn't even have a surprise if you got down there ;)

Seriously, if they self-identify as a woman, and they have the woman plumbing, then... so what if they used to have the guy plumbing? I wouldn't go for someone with guy plumbing because that just doesn't do it for me, but that's just me. All types of people make the world go around, and not all guys have that same hang-up.

Assuming none of those above are photoshop jobs, I'm quite stunned at just how much medicine has evolved to help people transition physically to the gender they self-identify as.

This thread reminds me of why I love GWJ. There's enough ugliness around; it is great to have this.

Farscry wrote:

Assuming none of those above are photoshop jobs, I'm quite stunned at just how much medicine has evolved to help people transition physically to the gender they self-identify as.

When you get down to it, changing your hair and eyebrow style does a lot for determining what gender you look like. Not to take away from the hormones, but for me it's almost always the longer, more feminine haircuts/wigs that "shifts" things.

Mex wrote:
SixteenBlue wrote:
MrDeVil909 wrote:

I've got to say, some of those transitions are remarkable.

Indeed.

I have the weirdest boner : (

Mex's location wrote:

Standing over a stained copy of an old Ronald McDonald ad, masturbating furiously screaming MY WAY!

Let's not overcomplicate this, Mex....

I don't know if offensive is the right word but I definitely did not like reading that story. I'm not sure that's the kind of thing that needs to be in this thread.

Edit: Actually maybe it is good to read because there is the conclusion that you can be very, very convincing.

SixteenBlue wrote:

I don't know if offensive is the right word but I definitely did not like reading that story. I'm not sure that's the kind of thing that needs to be in this thread.

Edit: Actually maybe it is good to read because there is the conclusion that you can be very, very convincing.

I don't even know what Tucker Max is, and I don't care to research it, but all that story does is highlight that some people have a long way to go... On both sides. If the story is true, the gay guy shouldn't care about freaking out the straight guy, and the straight guy shouldn't care, if he was convinced (or, in fact, never doubted at all), because it doesn't mean a darn thing about his sexual preferences. That he can't recognize that fact shows that he's pretty shallow, self-interested, and his commentary is hardly worth attention.

Oh if only you knew some of the douche-nozzle history of Tucker Max.
Needless to say his name should not be brought into adult discussions except in the most condescending of manners.
He basically made money off the more narcissistic version of a dating thread, except filled with what seem to be far fetched tales.

I also thought it was a little much, especially considering the (wonderfully!) feel good tone of this thread.

Yeah, I'm not going to suggest removing it I'm going to insist on removing it.
Nobody here needs that trash for inspiration.

There is a devil's advocate argument to be made about allowing other points of view, even stupid ones.

Except this thread isn't in P&C, which is part of what makes it awesome.

That being said, I also don't think that story belongs here. The tone is wrong.

Yeah. Tucker Max is a douche. Nothing involving him belongs in this thread.

In other news...

Just came across the latest installment of this series in The Guardian where a trans woman has been talking about her transition since June 2010. Nothing earth-shakingly new here, but still interesting reading.

Just catching up. Holy. f*cking. sh*t. This thread is crazy. And awesome.

Hypatian - nothing but love for you and what you're going through.

Removed by popular demand.

Mmm. Not really happy to see that story here. Sure, statistics, possibility of passing, whatever. But the attitudes the story expresses are more than a little ugly.

I would suggest removing it, because while I'm pretty cool with myself I still found it pretty offensive (and I've come across it before, and know that no goodjer is going to do something [em]intended[/em] to be offensive in that way). If somebody who's in a more vulnerable state than I am comes across the trans part of this thread some day while trying to figure things out, I don't think it would be great if they came across that, even with the spoiler tag in place.

Edit: Thanks, kaostheory!

Hypatian wrote:

Of course, it's a bit wrong to focus so much on the physical transition when there's so much more going on.

My intention wasn't to solely focus on the physical aspect, hence the links I posted, but I think that one of the biggest issues for transgender people is worrying about being accepted and thus passing becomes a bigger worry.

Keep the updates coming!

Yeah—wasn't trying to criticize so much as remind everybody that there's a ton going on besides the appearance stuff. Reading [em]Whipping Girl[/em] made me more conscious about how sensationalized that side of things is often made. It does still help, though, to know how well things can go. On the other side, have to make sure not to get too optimistic, because there's no guarantee things would go that well for me.

Not too much to report, update-wise. Everything is in super slow motion. (In fact, I'm reminded of how it feels if you try to pretend to run in slow motion—it gets really hard to keep your balance.)

Just managed to get in touch with the Persad Center about counseling. I'll be going in for an intake interview in two weeks.

Dieting is hard. I'm trying to figure out how to work in a "eat whatever" day every week. Not a "go crazy" day or anything, just a "this day is the day where I'm not going to even keep track of anything, and if I want a couple of chili cheese dogs, I'll have a couple of chili cheese dogs." I think that I'm actually unlikely to go way over my calorie budget on that day, anyway—most likely just neutral instead of burning more than I eat.

Going to start explicitly setting aside an hour out of every day for voice practice stuff. Ick, making schedules. I hate it.

I've not talked with my mom and sister for a little while now. I don't want to be a pain, and I know my sister is busy with a bunch of stuff right now—so maybe when that calms down. Or maybe when I've at least got a real actual meeting with a therapist lined up and not just intake.

Really neat story about openly trans people gaining acceptance in broader society:
N.J. woman to break new ground as first elected transgender DNC member

In a state with a reputation for machismo, that’s no small feat for someone who describes herself as "a woman scarred by years of testosterone."

But for Siperstein, known to most as Babs, it’s surprisingly easy to get people past the fact that for almost 50 years much of the world knew her as Barry: an Army veteran, a small-business man, a husband and a father of three.