F*** You, Cancer! Catch all

I am so sorry to this Marchantia. Despite what my family has been through, I can not fathom what you are going through right now but please know many of us will be thinking about you and your family.

I hope you saw Coldstream's note in the other thread. He shared information I hope you found helpful.
We'll be here any time you need to vent.

Turns out this awesome woman is a friend of some of my friends.

Wishing her a quick recovery.

That's great!

Sadly, on another note, My mom had an appointment with her oncologist today and was told that the mass in one of her lungs was shrinking, but the other side has grown "quite a bit".
her lymph nodes remain unchanged but her adrenal gland is showing enlargement.

They have suspended chemo until the doctor can speak to another to see if maybe radiation might help with the growing mass in her lung.

f*ck. i'm feeling funny-odd.

Sorry Groan.

I'll try and focus on the one small step forward part and hope that gives them clues for the two steps back.

Rahmen wrote:

Sorry Groan.

I'll try and focus on the one small step forward part and hope that gives them clues for the two steps back.

Good idea, thanks.

I'm sorry to hear that, Groan.

I have some mixed news as well.

Looks like Mom's cancer is most definitely back, and it's most definitely pancreatic cancer. The tumor's got several nerves running through it and the pain is getting worse, and fast. That's bad. The good is it's one mass, not that large, it hasn't spread anywhere else they can find, and from what they could tell comparing the results of all the tests is a slow-growing kind.

They're getting ready to try a combo of another round of chemo and radiation combined. We'll see how this goes.

Mom, will send the goodest of good vibes both to you and your mom. Cancer is a fickle, tricksy, awful thing and I hope we, as a united human race, can somehow manage to come out on top one of these days. Much love to you.

Groan, and for your mom as well. I know the uncertainty and the 'well, give me a bit and I'll make some calls, see what to do' thing just sucks when you feel it is the most urgent of matters.

<3

Thanks Mom and Sis.
It helps me deal with this but of course I need to keep up my spirits for my mom.

I don't want to go over there with sadface on. doesn't help her.

Groan,
you know what? If I were sick and my kids knew it, and they never let it show, ever, that they were upset, I would worry for them. You all have feelings, and though she is sick, she is still your mother and still wants to help you, too. yes, it feels right to be brave. But sometimes, we can't be. She's always your mother and always will love you and understand if you need help to deal with something. That's what we do as moms. I would want more than anything to be able to help my kids deal with their feelings rather than to know they were hiding them, trying to be brave for me.
Maybe that's just me, and maybe it is easier to just be brave- but it's my experience that brave faces are no substitute for being genuine about the feelings you are actually having. You never know, it might be good for you to let her know how you feel- and it might be good for her to know how you are feeling. She may want to talk about it. Some people may disagree with me, and that's okay, but you get one chance to be genuine with the people you love, and life is short enough without cancer. Just be honest with her and honest with yourself. The fact that you are feeling something will likely mean very much to her. Just don't dwell on it. But be sure to be hoenst about your feelings.

I could be wrong. But I feel like I missed that chance, and I would have rather said what I needed so badly to say. And I know that I would rather help my kids deal with their feelings, no matter how sick I was, than to have them pretend everything was okay.

Love to you. I know it must be so hard.

I know you know. Thanks for your thoughts. I'm sure she would like to know too.

My daughter is still in quarantine. After the first chemo she got a nasty infection. It's under control now, but after that her stomach and colon stoped working because of all the narcotics and her infected mucosa. Her belly is blown like a balloon and she throws up every four hours, sleeps a lot and stoped talking and smiling.
She started losing her hair and we shaved her head. This is just a minor thing of course but it felt huge since she was already born with a lot of hair.
The doctors told me it coul take a up to 3 more days until her colon starts working again. If only I knew that everything is going to end well for certain this would be much easier to go through.

Marchantia wrote:

My daughter is still in quarantine. After the first chemo she got a nasty infection. It's under control now, but after that her stomach and colon stoped working because of all the narcotics and her infected mucosa. Her belly is blown like a balloon and she throws up every four hours, sleeps a lot and stoped talking and smiling.
She started losing her hair and we shaved her head. This is just a minor thing of course but it felt huge since she was already born with a lot of hair.
The doctors told me it coul take a up to 3 more days until her colon starts working again. If only I knew that everything is going to end well for certain this would be much easier to go through.

Hang in there Marchantia, keep strong and I'm sending good vibes her way!
Also thanks for sharing such a personal experience with us. As a new GWJer that means a lot to be able to feel that you can open up to us that way. We're a good set of ears.

I spent a large portion of last night on the phone, consoling my mother. She found out on Friday that due to her radiation schedule she won't be able to come to my daughter's wedding. It took her until Sunday to get up the courage to tell me. She didn't have to work up the courage; we'd already discussed the possibility and I and my daughter had already told her we wanted her to take care of herself and we'd much rather she do what she need to do and get well rather than worry about something my daughter considers to be one small step into her life. But she still feels guilty, and I don't know how to help. I might be making it worse.

And Marchantia, we're here for you. I hope things are going better now on your end.

momgamer wrote:

I spent a large portion of last night on the phone, consoling my mother. She found out on Friday that due to her radiation schedule she won't be able to come to my daughter's wedding. It took her until Sunday to get up the courage to tell me. She didn't have to work up the courage; we'd already discussed the possibility and I and my daughter had already told her we wanted her to take care of herself and we'd much rather she do what she need to do and get well rather than worry about something my daughter considers to be one small step into her life. But she still feels guilty, and I don't know how to help. I might be making it worse.

And Marchantia, we're here for you. I hope things are going better now on your end.

Set up Skype or something on a smartphone or laptop that someone can carry around so she can "be there" at least a little bit? If you use a webcam that can pan/tilt, she could even "look around" instead of just seeing what she's pointed at. She could still have her own seat at the ceremony & reception.

I suggested that. But I can't even get her to get rid of her old Ma Bell phone and landline, much less something like this. We'll see if her boyfriend can work on her a bit.

My daughter had to stay in inensive care for about a week until her gut started to work again. The doctors told us it was a very dangerous situation ...
Now she's better, started to eat again and is joking around with me. If she's recovering fast enough we will be able to take her home for at least 2 days before the next round of chemo begins. Keep your fingers crossed.

That's great Marchantia!

That's great Marchantia. Hoping the news continues to be good from this point out.

My mother's battle with leukemia came to an end this Thanksgiving day at the age of 56. She passed away in her sleep early this morning. I'm devastated by the loss, but I'm thankful that she went peacefully.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you and yours have each other to lean on today. You'll be in my prayers.

I'm so very sorry Dyni. I wish I had adequate words.

Oh crap Dyni! I'm so sorry! F-in cancer. god damnit
You're in my thoughts. Good vibes coming your way.

So sorry, Dyni.

I'm so very sorry to hear that, Dyni. I hope you're with friends and family right now.

Oh, Dyni. I'm so sorry to hear that. Sending all the positive things I can beam.

Dyni, sory to hear of the loss... they say time heals all wounds... I hope it heals fast for you.

We got bad news today. My daughter's leukemia is one of a rare kind and demands a stem cell therapy after the chemo treatment (stem cells are not always used in Germany, only some types of cancer have that in the regular therapy plan). This means her overall chances are worse than we thought.
Second round of chemo has still not started. She's still recovering.
She's so sweet and brave it makes me happy and so sad at the same time.

All the best Marchantia. None of our little people should need to go through any of this sh*t.

Marchantia, our thoughts will continue to be with you. If you need help finding a stem cell match and need to reach out, please include this community in your list if there is something we can do.

Rahmen wrote:

Marchantia, our thoughts will continue to be with you. If you need help finding a stem cell match and need to reach out, please include this community in your list if there is something we can do.

Absolutely let us know if there is anything we can do-- it's amazing how far-reaching this community is, and even more amazing how willing and ready everyone here is to band together to help a fellow human being out.

Will send positive vibes your way, and especially your daughter's way. Much love to you and yours.