I have no words groan, nothing that could possibly do you or your mom justice, but please know we're all here for you.
God, groan, I can't imagine.
Well, at least you know ahead of time. My father passed away in his early 60s, of esophageal cancer, and while that was a terrible thing to go through, both for him and for us, at least it wasn't sudden. We didn't leave anything important unsaid.
Take advantage of that time. I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but you're much more fortunate than some.
god damn it.
So sorry for you, groan. ((virtual internet hugs))
I agree with what Malor said. My grandpa passed in his early 70s of esophageal cancer, and we were lucky to have some time with him before he passed.
((hugs))
More ((hugs)) being sent here.
My wife and I hope that she isn't in pain and that she is able to live comfortably for as long as possible groan.
Thank you so much everyone. I really mean that. it's great to have a place to let this stuff out. I'm happy I made this thread.
For the past 24 hours if i haven't actually been crying I've been on the verge.
She isn't in any pain. loss of breath is all right now.
The doctors, though they don't like to give life expectancy guesstimates, suggested that she start getting her affairs in order (which they mostly are anyways) as it could be anywhere from weeks to months, but not years, as one of the doctors said yesterday.
Aeries and Malor, My father has had esophageal cancer. Had his throat replaced with his colon. (yes, the jokes of his breath smelling like shi# came and went) and managed to make it through that 8 or so years ago. I'm sorry it wasn't your case.
My dad's lung cancer was caught early enough that we are happy to see it in recession after his radiation treatments.
Sadly my mom won;t be that lucky. her cancer is far too advanced and radiation will not help at this stage. Chemo may help but only a 20% chance.
So anyways, with my two parents in the state they are I am so stressed these days. I don't even know how i feel. Kind of numb.
I hope your time with them is the best it can be given the circumstances.
I'm sorry to hear that groan. 
We're back in the saddle here again, as well. My mom had her scheduled scans, and they found a couple of small masses. However, the oncologist believes they might just be scar tissue formed as the result of the surgery they did last summer. They're going to go in and remove them on the 29th and test them to a fare-thee-well. He's already set our expectations that we won't have definitive answers until the end of the first week of April.
On a happy note, while they're in there they're going to hook her digestive system back together. So while she's scared about the mass, she's ecstatic about getting rid of the ostomy and all it's attendant mess and indignity.
Awesome stuff Mom! Fingers crossed that it all goes smooth.
On a happy note, while they're in there they're going to hook her digestive system back together. So while she's scared about the mass, she's ecstatic about getting rid of the ostomy and all it's attendant mess and indignity.
That's fabulous. Sounds like something that will make a huge quality of life difference for her.
Sorry groan. That's never easy, man.
Mom starts chemo tomorrow.
eek!
Not sure how she feels. I know at one point she was considering giving it a miss.
My mom is going through chemo now. She just had her second treatment around the 15th.
Yes that is my mom. It was my mother in law that passed away suddenly from cancer in early December.
My mom was having difficulties and when it was checked out by a doctor, there was a 6 inch growth near her abdomen. They didn't think it was malignant but it was. It was removed completely and now she is doing chemo to make doubly sure they got it all.
Oh and I lost my job despite my employer being full aware of this 3 weeks ago. So my personal life has been all sorts of hell since Thanksgiving.
I do have a new job thankfully. (so far it is much better)
Good and bad, Fang. Employers can be heartless bastards sometimes. Thankfully my boss has been great through all my family issues. I've been able to take time to go to appointments and meetings without much question.
Sadly due to positioning and my mom's age an operation is out of the question.
Finger's crossed that the chemo gets it all.
I woke up this morning, but I'm not going to work. I picked up my iPad, left by the bed after watching Certis get stomped on a Starcraft 2 match. As I load up the site again, I see "F*** You Cancer" as a recent post. Serendipity.
Today I am attending my grandfathers funeral. I'm reading a passage from 2 Timothy. We will have a bunch of our family at our house tonight. Last night I saw his dead body. He was 87, he lived a good life, he was a great man, he was very accomplished, and he loved his huge family. I'm sadder than I think I should be.
He died of prostate cancer.
F*** you cancer.
Aristophan,
Sorry to hear about your granddad. Hang in there and don't hold back your feelings. Obviously he meant a lot to you. He sounds like he was a great guy.
Sadly Groan, I know this hurts, but its highly unlikely that Mom will beat this... the doc gave a 1% chance that the Chemo would beat it, but since its spread to the Lymph nodes its not likely. The Chemo should shrink the mass (over 3.5 cm) to the point that she should breathe easier, but the positioning and the fact that she is already on oxygen means they can't do radiation...
Since I'm fairly new here, I get to say that my little bro and I are hoping against hope that Mom will beat this totally, but it totally depends on how the Chemo does its work... 2 injections, wait 3 weeks... repeat 6 times... God I hope she has few side effects...
That stinks guys. Radiation is completely out of the question? I will say chemo for lung cancer is better than ever and side effects (except for fatigue) are often pretty manageable. Hope she gets a good response and a reprieve from the cancer.
Thanks Doc. So far, one day in, she is doing well though we hear that most symptoms show after 3 days.
Will report back.
So far, fatigue is about all that's happening... well she seems to be off her appetite...
I can believe the fatigue though... when I stayed with her the phone was ringing off the wall... neighbours coming over to see how she was doing... GAAA let her rest!!
Will keep you posted.
Since I'm fairly new here, I get to say that my little bro and I are hoping against hope that Mom will beat this totally, but it totally depends on how the Chemo does its work... 2 injections, wait 3 weeks... repeat 6 times... God I hope she has few side effects...
My mom is going through this now. And fatigue is the big issue. Which can be really hard depending on the person. My mom is a go go go person so doing something for 15-20 minutes and then having to rest is frustrating.
Her and my dad are managing. She was heavy set and had lost some weight before this but now she has dropped a lot more. It is not unhealthy weight so long as it stablizes which it seems to be doing.
My mom didn't lose her hair until the second chemo treatment and it went pretty much all of a sudden. She went wig shopping with my sister a few weeks ago in preparation. She has a really cute hat that it is hard to tell that she has hair loss that is much easier to use.
At the risk of TMI, constapation can be brutal so one of her nurses recommended Mylax (?) and warm prune juice. This has helped her a lot.
She is avoiding dairy and pasta like the plagued because someone brought over dinner for my parents and it was gormet mac n cheese. She got so sick and bloated, that she is much more careful about what she eats.
I hope any of this helps.
when I stayed with her the phone was ringing off the wall... neighbours coming over to see how she was doing... GAAA let her rest!!
This is very frustrating. So my advice is to try and offload that as much as you can between you and your brother. There is no shame in answering the phone and saying that she is sleeping.
Thanks Fang.
My mom is just now starting to show the signs of fatigue and lack of apatite. She knkows that she has to force herself to eat. I don't think hair loss has started though she's only had one dose. I'll mention to her about wig shopping if she wants to go that route. I have a friend that sells wigs online (strange, i know but her business is booming to cross-dressers/TG and cancer patients)
My mom is as of right now getting her 2nd dose of Chemo.
She had a really hard time with side effects with the first one with extreme fatigue, low oxygen due to pneumonia (the bad kind that'll kill ya) and almost decided to forgo any further doses.
We met with the doctors as a family and discussed it. The consensus was she should try it one more time and see how it effects her.
We have a new baseline CT Scan to work from since the previous one was from 2 months before she had her first treatment. This will give her a better idea of how much, if any, effect the treatment is having. Her tumors had grown but they figure it was mostly from the 2 months that they had gone untreated.
Anyways, we will hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. If she does not continue after this dose the doctors give her weeks to months, depending on if she gets sick again. IF that happens it will take too much of a toll on her system and put her into the hospital, convalescent care. That would suck.
So all that to say FU*K you CANCER! If you were here with your face, i'd kick it in till it wasn't any more! You'd be another target for Django!
My mom just finished her third chemo treatment a week ago. And I just want you to know it gets better. She still gets fatigued but my mom was actually able to work for a few days.
Mind you those few days of the treatment stay the same but recovery in between treatments gets quicker and better. (at least in my mom's experience)
Obviously dosage and type of treatment will cause experiences to vary...
Thanks for sharing that, Fang. I will pass that info on as a "hopeful".
My mom is in her 80's but she should have years left, not weeks/months.
With all the crap that's been going on with my Mom's cancer, various members of my family have been getting colonoscopies, just on general principles. My uncle had his done Thursday, and my mom tells me they found five polyps.
I really want to throw things, but there's nothing to really throw them at.
Damn,
That sucks MomG. What the hell. This sht needs to stop.
I'm in a dark place today. Really feeling down, sad. I don't want to be at work, i just want to be at home curled up in bed with my head under the covers.
Nothing really triggering happened today or over the weekend. just thinking. i need to stop thinking.
I am sorry you are down today groan. I don't know if you are like me but I have always found that something sparks in me and reminds me that doing something spontaneous and thoughtful really helps take the edge off the grief. Things like donating time at your church (if you have one) just doing chores (basic cleaning or moving something) can help quite a bit.
Or the big thing for our house is looking through our closets and donating things that don't fit or we haven't worn in forever. (most people don't know what gifts to get me so I get a lot of clothes that I wear the first month I get them and then they gather moss in the back of my closet)
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