I don't like Metroid. Come tell me how wrong I am!
Okay, that thread title might have been a bit of exaggeration to get your attention. It's less accurate to say I don't LIKE Metroid, as it is to say I feel like I don't GET Metroid. Or maybe just that I don't like Metroid as much as I feel like I should, given that it seems like the sort of thing I should like and everyone else seems to flipping love it.
The Metroid game I've played the most of is Metroid 2 for the old gray brick Gameboy. It was... okay. A fun enough time waster when I was on a long drive with my parents back in the day. As my options at the time went, though, well, it was no Link's Awakening.
I never owned Super Metroid, but I rented it a bunch of times back in the SNES era and have fooled around with it on various emulators (both the legal version on my Wii, and various, shall we say, others) over the years. This is one of those games that's held up as the ultimate pinnacle of all that is Metroid, the perfect evolution of the Metroidvania formula, a triumph of game design etc. etc. etc. And again, I thought it was... okay. Never finished it. Can't say how far I've gotten in it, other than the general sense that it's somewhat more than 1/4 and somewhat less than 1/2. Eventually I'd always reach a point where I was totally lost, wandering aimlessly through corridors I'd already slogged through twenty times trying to find a door or a secret passage or something to take me to someplace new, and I'd have a choice between GameFAQsing it (a tricky proposition at best with relatively non-linear games of the Metroidvania ilk, prone to much aimless scrolling up and down trying to find the point in the FAQ that can help you) or getting bored and doing something else. I always wound up doing the latter.
Metroid Prime? Played a bit of the first one. Found it competent but very slow-paced and boring as an FPS. This is where people always tell me, "Well, it's not really an FPS, it's more of a platforming exploration adventure blah blah blah in the first person blah blah blah" which is where I zone out. What can I say, it's in the first person perspective and I'm expected to shoot things, therefore it's a first-person shooter. It doesn't have to be as frenetic as an Unreal Tournament, it just has to engage me, and it just... didn't.
Threw in Metroid Prime 3 years later to see if things had changed at all, and it seemed like they kind of hadn't. Also I hated how much cruft was all up in the HUD clogging up my field of view-- couldn't remember if that had been a problem in the first one or not.
Tried Metroid: Other M, turned it off after maybe an hour. Common consensus seems to be I didn't miss much.
So there you go. Now tell me just how wrong I am!