Right, so here's a thread for those who have seen the movie and wish to discuss the plot and all that jazz.
If you haven't seen it, vamoose. Or don't. Just understand that I will not be using spoiler tags, you will be spoiled, and if you complain about that, I'll punch you in the face.
So anyway. Prometheus. I kind of wound up liking it, but that's mostly down to the impeccable craftsmanship on display. It's an utterly gorgeus movie, but it's also kind of stupid. And not stupid in a knowing Drive Angry kind of way. No, it's the worst kind of stupid; the one that's learnt a few big words and fails to realise that realise it's using them in service of nothing.
And that's all the more annoying because of the bits where it really works, like the opening sequences with David alone on the ship.
It's friday and beer o'clock, so this will be kind of rambly, but here are a bunch of thoughts, mostly kwetching ones:
- Firstly, a personal pet peeve: Anyone going to von Daniken for inspiration after Kingdom of the Crystal Skull needs a good slap on the head. The whole ancient astronaut thing is condescending bullsh*t.
- Actually, this leads me fairly neatly into the next complaint: Why does the starmap lead to where it does? If we accept Idris Elba's proclamation that this is a weapons factory on its face, which the movie seems to do, why would they point a Starmap at it? It's a f*cking weapons factory. By the way, how does he figure that out? I love Idris Elba, and he does a fair job at making me like a thumbnail sketch here, so I can accept that he is much wiser and knowing than most, but that still makes no sense. Why couldn't they have been invaded by some sort of hostile organism? As the audience, it's easy for us to accept, but we've seen David's shenanigans and he has not
- Also, what the f*ck is up with David? David is easily the best part of the movie, and Fassbender's performance is great. But still. What the f*ck is up with him. How does he know to poison whatshisface? And why does he do it? Is he trying harder for daddy? Is he f*cking with everything to kill his parents? Both? Fassbender is so good here I'm sort of willing to embrace the mystery, but still. Some clearer motivation would've been nice.
- There's a better movie somewhere here that tosses out the vapid gestures about faith that are - to quote badassdigest - spiritually retarded and focuses on the responsibilities of the creator towards the created/parents towards their children and is more tied to David's perpective, as he watches these people who are his creators desperately searching for meaning in their existance.
- This movie has too many characters, doesn't know what to do with them, and tosses their motivations out on a dime. Take the geologists and the c*ck-worm attack. Now, it's a really well executed and gruey sequence in isolation, but it makes no sense in context. Why would someone who ran in terror from a sensor blip make kissy faces at an obviously scary c*ck-worm? Ridiculous.
- The Yoga-Zombie-Geologist attack was pointless, except for killing of more characters the audience doesn't know or care about. It should've been cut along with the people it killed.
- Also, am I supposed to be happy when Charlize Theron dies? Because that sort of stupid crushed to death sequence is the sort of demise reserved for the evil beurocrat that f*cks everything up, and her only crime is not liking the other people. in fact, she made only sensible decisions as far as I could tell. (Don't let the infected and obviously terminal character onto the ship, sleep with Idris Elba, etc.) Actually, I really liked her.
- I liked the shot of her kissing her father's hand, and him clenching it into a fist in response. Not subtle, but nifty. But it's also one of those bits are good in isolation but with no payoff. Yes, it tells us something about Weyland and Vickers, but it's neither something that sets up future drama, nor informs past actions. In fact, it makes me symphatize more with her, which makes her stupid death all the more annoying. Bah.
- "Don't be a skeptic." GAH. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SCIENCE OR A SKEPTIC IS YOU MORON.
- Ahem. Might have hit on another pet peeve there.
- Speaking of science, isn't Noomi Rapace some sort of archeologist? Why is she performing autopsies on aliens? Is she some sort of Bones-like polymath?
- Also, the dialogue is kind of terrible.
- This thing has far too many shoutouts to Alien. The ship falling down into the exact same position, David's head getting torn off in exactly the same way. Be your own own damn movie goddammit. The final shots were terrible.
- Prometheus makes me think of how much better Warren Ellis' Ocean did the meeting your creators who turn out to be utter bastards thing.