Great Big Tracts of Land, or How I Bought a Castle

Boobwiches for everyone!

Jonman wrote:
Rubb Ed wrote:

Dojo, Casino, it's all in the mind...

Seems this one went over everyone else's head. Not mine though. Good work sir!

*bows* I try. Lord, do I try.

Rubb Ed wrote:
Jonman wrote:
Rubb Ed wrote:

Dojo, Casino, it's all in the mind...

Seems this one went over everyone else's head. Not mine though. Good work sir!

*bows* I try. Lord, do I try.

I'm behind the curve(as usual) but it was very, very well played, Sir.

I did miss it the first time through, but thank you now for sticking that song in my head!

Kick, punch, it's all in the mind. If you wanna test me, I'm sure you'll find...

i've been neglecting the forums all week but thats awesome and I wanna come check it out

Keldar wrote:

Gonna Get Medieval On Your Gas

This deserves a new business to be created just for the sheer awesomeness of that phrase.

I'm a filthy skimmer, so apologies if this has been mentioned, but you need to name it Goodjer Hold.

And somehow get yourself and your holding in Crusader Kings 3.

Should we be concerned that we haven't heard anything in awhile? The deal didn't fall through did it?

Meatman just directed me to this thread, and great jeebus this is awesome. I would definately road trip it from Northern VA to castle it up with some goodjers.

WizKid wrote:

Should we be concerned that we haven't heard anything in awhile? The deal didn't fall through did it?

The deal hasn't fallen through, I just haven't been posting much lately. I've been buried under the massive amounts of paperwork and logistical challenges involved with putting a deal like this together.

There are however a few contingencies left to clear, some of which are posing more difficulties than expected. So while the deal is very much alive, there is unfortunately still a greater than zero percent chance that it could fall apart.

Teneman wrote:
WizKid wrote:

Should we be concerned that we haven't heard anything in awhile? The deal didn't fall through did it?

The deal hasn't fallen through, I just haven't been posting much lately. I've been buried under the massive amounts of paperwork and logistical challenges involved with putting a deal like this together.

Huh? I've read Pillars of the Earth, all you have to do is secretly slip a couple disguised knights in to open the gate, then charge in with your hiding army and slaughter/capture everyone while they're at mass. Easy-peasy and the castle is yours.

Gravey wrote:
Teneman wrote:
WizKid wrote:

Should we be concerned that we haven't heard anything in awhile? The deal didn't fall through did it?

The deal hasn't fallen through, I just haven't been posting much lately. I've been buried under the massive amounts of paperwork and logistical challenges involved with putting a deal like this together.

Huh? I've read Pillars of the Earth, all you have to do is a secretly slip a couple disguised knights in to open the gate, then charge in with your hiding army and slaughter/capture everyone while they're in mass. Easy-peasy and the castle is yours.

Do you have any idea how logistically challenging it is to hide an army? And don't get me started on the paperwork to requisition disguises for knights. Besides, I've still got a stack of TPS reports to complete in triplicate from the last slaughter...

Teneman wrote:
Gravey wrote:
Teneman wrote:
WizKid wrote:

Should we be concerned that we haven't heard anything in awhile? The deal didn't fall through did it?

The deal hasn't fallen through, I just haven't been posting much lately. I've been buried under the massive amounts of paperwork and logistical challenges involved with putting a deal like this together.

Huh? I've read Pillars of the Earth, all you have to do is a secretly slip a couple disguised knights in to open the gate, then charge in with your hiding army and slaughter/capture everyone while they're in mass. Easy-peasy and the castle is yours.

Do you have any idea how logistically challenging it is to hide an army? And don't get me started on the paperwork to requisition disguises for knights. Besides, I've still got a stack of TPS reports to complete in triplicate from the last slaughter...

Oy vey. Seizing a castle ain't what it used to be.

IMAGE(http://images.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/Arrested-monty-python-and-the-holy-grail-591718_800_441.jpg)

This may be the best location in the US to host a Crusader Kings II LAN/LARP party. We'd need a giant map of Europe on a dining table and those little brooms you use to push army models around. Players role-play their wheelings and dealings and then go to their PC to take their actions. It would be awesome! Like Artemis with castles.

Mixolyde wrote:

This may be the best location in the US to host a Crusader Kings II LAN/LARP party. We'd need a giant map of Europe on a dining table and those little brooms you use to push army models around. Players role-play their wheelings and dealings and then go to their PC to take their actions. It would be awesome! Like Artemis with castles.

Can we build catapults outside to bring down the walls?

Teneman wrote:
Gravey wrote:
Teneman wrote:
WizKid wrote:

Should we be concerned that we haven't heard anything in awhile? The deal didn't fall through did it?

The deal hasn't fallen through, I just haven't been posting much lately. I've been buried under the massive amounts of paperwork and logistical challenges involved with putting a deal like this together.

Huh? I've read Pillars of the Earth, all you have to do is a secretly slip a couple disguised knights in to open the gate, then charge in with your hiding army and slaughter/capture everyone while they're in mass. Easy-peasy and the castle is yours.

Do you have any idea how logistically challenging it is to hide an army? And don't get me started on the paperwork to requisition disguises for knights. Besides, I've still got a stack of TPS reports to complete in triplicate from the last slaughter...

Pfft. Just use an invisible dwarf to lower raise the portcullis.

Paleocon wrote:

Pfft. Just use an invisible dwarf to lower raise the portcullis.

Gah, I just had a LARP DF vision.

rosenhane wrote:
Paleocon wrote:

Pfft. Just use an invisible dwarf to lower raise the portcullis.

Gah, I just had a LARP DF vision.

Behold this prophet has seen the promised land and tells of our coming savior...Urist.

Paleocon wrote:
Teneman wrote:
Gravey wrote:
Teneman wrote:
WizKid wrote:

Should we be concerned that we haven't heard anything in awhile? The deal didn't fall through did it?

The deal hasn't fallen through, I just haven't been posting much lately. I've been buried under the massive amounts of paperwork and logistical challenges involved with putting a deal like this together.

Huh? I've read Pillars of the Earth, all you have to do is a secretly slip a couple disguised knights in to open the gate, then charge in with your hiding army and slaughter/capture everyone while they're in mass. Easy-peasy and the castle is yours.

Do you have any idea how logistically challenging it is to hide an army? And don't get me started on the paperwork to requisition disguises for knights. Besides, I've still got a stack of TPS reports to complete in triplicate from the last slaughter...

Pfft. Just use an invisible dwarf to lower raise the portcullis.

Just use some Perdo Auram and destory all air within the complex. Then after all of the inhabitants are "sleeping" fly over the wall using some Creo Auram and seize the castle.

Done.

Just discovered this thread. This is huge news. Congrats, not only on the pending transaction of owning a f*cking castle, but on the overall success in life that has afforded you the opportunity to own a f*cking castle. I'm sure the coming months will be most memorable.

I agree with a lot of people in this thread. I agree that a gathering of the goodjers would be incredible here. I agree that you should be wary of giving discounts until you understand what your overhead will be. I agree that Here There Be Flagons sounds good on the tongue. I agree that there is destined to be one bad apple in a bushel and the larger the group gets, the likelihood of a jackass increases. I agree that Gamers With Jobs is, mostly, jackass free.

When/if you are able to hold a Slap & Tickle here, it will be epic. I'm not even using that word wrong, either. It'll be in a f*cking castle. Epic is an appropriate word.

If I show up, I'll bring a veritable cornucopia of Bell's beverages. No discount necessary.

Hop to the Castle
Empty the Tankard
Something's Brewing (at the Castle)

Castle Castle Castle?

Get Your Drunk on at a Motherf*cking Castle

Get Samuel L. Jackson to come in and host.

Cask-O-Rama?
Cask-N-Go?

I envision something styled along the lines of a convenience store at a gas station.. A medieval one, of course.

How to Drain Your Flagon?

Actually, maybe the "Here there be Flagons" should be for this event, and your general Castle motto should be something else.

"Castle Brew" definitely gets the point of the event across in a very clear, direct fashion. Although Rubb Ed wins the creativity prize with "How to Drain Your Flagon".

I'm actually not going to use "Here There Be Flagons" as a marketing slogan. While all of us get it, too many 'normal' people that I spoke with didn't. They either didn't know what a flagon was, or didn't get the reference to Here There Be Dragons.

That being said it's too immensely awesome not to use, so it's going on a sign in, on, or around the pub. Perhaps over the door to the pub, or on the wall upon which the flagons are hung.

Rubb Ed wrote:

How to Drain Your Flagon?

Winner.