Self indulgent parent thread

Eleima wrote:

I don't do strollers unless I have to. They are bulky, heavy and the sidewalks around here are narrow and uneven. Only time I take the stroller is when we're going to a restaurant and I need someplace to set him down so I can eat. Even when walking to PT post section, I just put the baby in a sling, take a blanket and set him down upon it during the session.
Also I hate pushing the stroller uphill. And it's like San Fransisco hilly downtown here.
:D

Athens is so not handicap accessible, much less normal stroller accessible. People also like to park on sidewalks. Everything is so narrow here compared to the US. We had a baby car seat, that snapped into what I called our Jeep stroller (well, i used the Greek word for stroller). This thing had 3 HUGE wheels, that reminded me of mountain bike tires. I could get that thing over all the half-destroyed pavement. Also worked well for knocking people who wouldn't move out of the way (and that's more than half the people...cultural "no personal space" thing). We got a normal stroller as a present when your second child was born. We basically used it at the mall, or in parks where we knew ahead of time it would make it. Fitting the "Jeep" one in the car along with other baby things...a fun puzzle to solve each and every time.

oilypenguin wrote:

There are double strollers that seat one behind the other.

Easy to get through doors, don't end up taking any more room than necessary.

Just saying =)

We had a Joovie Caboose for a while because it was the only thing we could find that had a double plus a ride behind seat. It was pretty great for that but really hard to handle, since the front wheels are the ones that pivot for turning. Going across a hill took an act of Herculean strength.

I really can't recommend the side by side Bob doubles enough. They're still narrow enough to fit through doorways and turning them is effortless. Much easier maneuvering through stores than the narrow and long Joovie. And our oldest daughter sat on the front so it carries three very well. In fact we have photos of all three kids comfortably asleep in the Bob double.

Eleima wrote:

Yup, standard procedure here. Started on the scar to limit adhesions and pain and promote regeneration of nerve endings. Starting perineal re-education soon. All women have access to the latter after childbirth in order to strengthen the perineum and prevent incontinence and organ descent.

I can't even envision what kind of PT is done to limit adhesions. I mean, they looked at the incision site once or twice a day, then on day 3 they removed the staples. The site was checked again at 2 weeks and 4 weeks.

The US in general seems to be of a mind that says, "You had a baby? That's nice; now get back to work. Also, be sure to be 'bikini ready' in three months."

I read about perineal re-education in "Bringing up Bébé"; that's the only reason I'd ever heard of it.

sometimesdee wrote:
Eleima wrote:

Yup, standard procedure here. Started on the scar to limit adhesions and pain and promote regeneration of nerve endings. Starting perineal re-education soon. All women have access to the latter after childbirth in order to strengthen the perineum and prevent incontinence and organ descent.

I can't even envision what kind of PT is done to limit adhesions. I mean, they looked at the incision site once or twice a day, then on day 3 they removed the staples. The site was checked again at 2 weeks and 4 weeks.

The US in general seems to be of a mind that says, "You had a baby? That's nice; now get back to work. Also, be sure to be 'bikini ready' in three months."

I read about perineal re-education in "Bringing up Bébé"; that's the only reason I'd ever heard of it.

The PT I saw for my pinched nerve specialized in adhesion therapy. I am pretty sure it involved massage and some other specific techniques.

Yup, it's a type of massage and they also apply suction to the incision site. And it's not your feel good massage, it was super painful at first. Also avoids the emergence of keloid scarring.

sometimesdee wrote:
Eleima wrote:

Yup, standard procedure here. Started on the scar to limit adhesions and pain and promote regeneration of nerve endings. Starting perineal re-education soon. All women have access to the latter after childbirth in order to strengthen the perineum and prevent incontinence and organ descent.

I can't even envision what kind of PT is done to limit adhesions. I mean, they looked at the incision site once or twice a day, then on day 3 they removed the staples. The site was checked again at 2 weeks and 4 weeks.

The US in general seems to be of a mind that says, "You had a baby? That's nice; now get back to work. Also, be sure to be 'bikini ready' in three months."

I read about perineal re-education in "Bringing up Bébé"; that's the only reason I'd ever heard of it.

Laughing at the "bikini readiness" being the focus in the u.s. - so true!

My little Cthulhu.

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/dSYNOxE.jpg)

A half-term floor war seems to have broken out in my study:

IMAGE(https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2897/14267663936_b0aa3eb0bc.jpg)

OK guys, I know this isn't the "desperate parent asking for help" thread, but: what the heck do I do when time out has no impact?

The manual suggests that you should only give T.O. for up to five minutes, but our kid is more than capable of screaming for dozens of minutes on end if left to her own devices. Five minutes of T.O. doesn't actually seem to do anything other than piss her off even more. There also aren't really any alternate disciplinary techniques proposed, so it seems like it's T.O. or nothing.

What I am being taught in Parent Child Interaction Training (PCIT) for my autistic son is to ignore and praise the calm behavior. It's very hard to keep it up when a tantrum goes on for the length of time you describe. It is exhausting, but we are seeing progress.

Find the thing your kid values and use that as the lever. Time out is good for giving the kid a chance to calm down, but beyond that, a lot of kids don't seem to mind sitting quietly for a few minutes. For our kids, what works is taking away their bikes, toy cars, favorite blanket (pretty extreme) etc. But they have to know in advance what the punishment is or it just feels arbitrary and mean.

One of our rules for timeout is that they don't get out of timeout until they calm down. Which for our oldest has meant some pretty long timeouts. There are methods for kids to deal with their emotions too, and accompanying fiction books in some cases, like Tuck the Turtle. If your kid is having trouble with their emotions (most kids seem to) I'd sit down calmly with them and try to figure out something that helps them to calm down that they can do for themselves.

Warning: I'm doing this all ad-lib, and have not read any books or attended classes on parenting.

Our 2 y/o has a knack of taking a swing at me when he's frustrated, and this is instant timeout. Where he does his timeout he will continue to hit the wall, and this is a stated restart on the 2 minutes of TO. I give him 3 restarts, then I start taking toys away. The removal of popular toys has been a recent addition. This happens until we get the 2 minutes of TO in.

I have a sheet of paper on a bulletin board titled "Mommy's Little Helper". When he's had a long streak of being a helper(No screaming, no hitting, listening, and being a helper) he gets a sticker, and a toy comes down out of the closet.

The hardest thing for me is to make sure I don't freak out when he's freaking out. I'll walk away and let him wail on the wall if I feel I'm not going to handle the situation calmly.

Is this all working? I don't know. I wish that he would stop hitting entirely, and the message would sink in, but I'm also aware that some things are going to take more work.

Yeah, our son is like that. Once he realizes you're upset with him, his immediate response is to kick something, throw a toy, etc. I think it's important for kids to understand that it's okay to feel angry or upset, but they need to find the proper way to express themselves. And learning to deal with your emotions takes a lot of time for kids. And I definitely agree that the most important thing, and the most difficult, is to not act upset when your kid does whatever because they react to your demeanor more than anything else.

We don't have a time out limit. It just goes on until the tantrum ends and an apology is forthcoming, together with a chat about why the apology is needed. We tried timed time outs with my daughter, and they just didn't work at all.m

I kinda feel guilty for this, but... good grief, does it feel nice not to be the only one struggling with a toddler. They weren't kidding when they called it the "terrible twos". Our eldest can be a bit of a handful sometimes. He barely talks at all, or rather only when it suits him (in the last couple of days, the only word I've heard out of him was a resounding "no" when we told him it was time for bed), so communication can be kinda hard. We keep trying to explain, talk to him, get on his level, and tell him it's okay to be angry.upset, but that certain behaviors aren't acceptable (like throwing stuff). We've also tried time outs, but those just made him laugh. He's getting better with the throwing, but... *sigh*
We're going home to visit family next month, haven't been back for a year, and I'm just dreading the remarks from the grandparents who will of course, compare him to my cousin's daughter (she's some six months younger than him). And of course, she's talking up a storm and potty trained (mine's not, although we've had a couple isolated successes).

Parenting is hard. Maybe we do need a "desperate parent asking for help" thread.

I just get both of my boys in a figure four leg lock and make them tap out.

Eleima wrote:

Parenting is hard. Maybe we do need a "desperate parent asking for help" thread.

Ask and ye shall receive.

Eleima wrote:

We're going home to visit family next month, haven't been back for a year, and I'm just dreading the remarks from the grandparents who will of course, compare him to my cousin's daughter (she's some six months younger than him). And of course, she's talking up a storm and potty trained (mine's not, although we've had a couple isolated successes).

Yeah, that's always annoying to get the comparisons. But on my side of the fence, my toddler is at 2yrs 9mos and just recently starting to talk. Don't sweat it too much. We've talked with early intervention to see if anything needs to be done. By the time they do a follow up he'll likely be at the point of 'getting him to stop talking is the hard part.' He loves to yell da-dee, and say the colors he sees and a few other words. He puts together the letters g and o and then says 'go, go!' which is awesome. Somehow, at bathtime b-a-t is boat. It doesn't help that the o and 0 are missing.

In no way related to anything that's been said the last few pages but... at work today a coworker of mine told me that she and her boyfriend had just gotten a puppy and that "it's just like having a baby!" because it wakes them up at night whining, etc. With a perfectly amiable smile on my face I just replied "Definitely! I remember when I'd leave for work in the mornings before my kid started school and I'd just lock him in his crate all day with some food and water. Boy was he ready to play when I got home!"

Crossposting in the parenting threads. We've mostly managed to avoid the "terible two's" behaviour issues and here's the secret: Making sure they get enough sleep. The reason behavioural issues crop up at this stage is because their brains are doing a massive info dump and they need time to download and process everything. Dave was getting pretty bad and not sleeping which aggravated everything else so Mrs P got some Melatonin (the hormone that induces sleep) an eye dropper of it in his bottle at bedtime (he still gets 100mls of milk at bedtime) for a week to help reset his body clock and instead of the broken sleep for maybe 6 hours a night he had been getting bumped up to 7pm to 7am 12 hours solid. Unsuprisingly his mood improved dramatically.

With my youngest daughter, when she starts to throw a tantrum, she gets 2 warnings and then gets sent to her room to calm down. Sometimes, however, she won't calm down. In this case, we see it as she hasn't reached the top of the hill to get to the other side, and we need to poke her a bit verbally for her to finally get to a point where she will calm down. And by poke verbally, I mean asking "Are you ready to calm down and talk about it?"

Self Indulgent parent part:

Dave is 2 years 3 months and knows his ABC's and counts 1 to 10 then 14, 16, 17, 19, 20.

Prozac, it's not that he doesn't know 10 to 20, it's just that you don't get what mathematical system he's using. He'll simplify it for you in a few weeks

Prozac wrote:

Self Indulgent parent part:

Dave is 2 years 3 months and knows his ABC's and counts 1 to 10 then 14, 16, 17, 19, 20. :)

The first thing I thought when I read that was the old "find the next number in this number sequence" questions on tests. In which case the sequence is 2-1-2-1 so the next number should be 22! So apparently your kid is going to design those tests and he's just trying out some rudimentary sequences.

That's awesome, Prozac!

I love seeing the Lil Hopette experimenting and figuring stuff out. She just turned two last week and knows a lot of sign (we started doing baby sign with her at around a year), loves her Signing Time show, and can identify most of her ABCs and numbers, but getting her to say stuff out loud or put it all together is difficult at times. She knows probably 80 words or so, but prefers signing stuff. When we tell her to say it instead, she gently lays down on the floor (because we got rid of the carpet and put wood in ) and throws a tantrum. I'd love for her to be more verbal, but I guess I should be happy we are able to communicate with her at all this young.

I'd presume that down under verbal skills have to develop faster for survival. "Daddy, help! This (dingo/koala/spider/snake/blade of grass) is trying to get me!"

What is this feeling? Is it the feeling of being well rested? My 10 month old slept through the night (11 hours) for the first time and my usual VERY early riser made it all the way until 6am this morning. So, so nice.

Woot!! Certainly a nice feeling!!

On my end, munchkin #2 just gave me his first "real" smile today. Not the small "I'm passing gas" smile.

bighoppa wrote:

She knows probably 80 words or so, but prefers signing stuff. When we tell her to say it instead, she gently lays down on the floor (because we got rid of the carpet and put wood in ) and throws a tantrum. I'd love for her to be more verbal, but I guess I should be happy we are able to communicate with her at all this young.

Rumour has it speech tends to come quickly once it starts with heavy signers. I wouldn't rush the verbal too much.

Bleargh. For how awesome I think my boy is, had a great big reality check about having a child with as yet undiagnosed genetic conditions that limit him in a lot of ways. Not fun.

Prozac your son has a very important thing, a parent that believes in him.