Things you should know by now, but only just discovered

Wait. Dipping an Oreo in milk has a spirit? Like, you can do it wrong?

This is definitely the thread where I learn new things.

Nonsense. It's pointless to barbecue puppies. Less meat on the bone. You have to take care of them, give them love and make them happy for years so they'll get nice and fat. Then you break all their bones to tenderize the meat, and barbecue them.

Totally worth it.

I've been using the fork method for years and I love it! Not only do you not get your fingers wet, you can let the cookie get nice and mushy, and it won't fall apart, because you're only putting force on the cream part.

Since we're on the subject of cookies, if you briefly microwave ginger snaps, they get really soft and chewy.

NSMike wrote:

Since we're on the subject of cookies, if you briefly microwave any cookie ginger snaps, they get really soft and chewy.

FTFY

Melting all that delicious congealed fat.

But the best part of eating Cheetos is sucking the concentrated cheese-like powder off your fingers after the bag is empty!

Toasting Cheetos lightly is delicious. I've never tried it with an oven, but as a kid I used to put them on the light bulb of a lamp while watching TV. Every few Cheetos I get a delicious toasty one.

Concave wrote:
Speedhuntr wrote:

Yeah, I appreciate the invention but that goes against the spirit of the act.

Oreos go against the spirit of biscuits anyway.

It's a good thing Oreos are sandwich cookies then. If I want a biscuit I'll go to Hardee's.

NSMike wrote:

Since we're on the subject of cookies, if you briefly microwave ginger snaps, they get really soft and chewy.

If you eat like half a box of them right before you go to bed, you get some really [email protected]#ked up dreams.

If you're baking cookies and you want them crisp, use softened butter. If you want them chewy, use melted butter. This blew my mind.

trichy wrote:

If you're baking cookies and you want them crisp, you are wrong. If you want them chewy, use melted butter. This blew my mind.

Fixed that for ya.

Nuean wrote:
NSMike wrote:

Since we're on the subject of cookies, if you briefly microwave ginger snaps, they get really soft and chewy.

If you eat like half a box of them right before you go to bed, you get some really [email protected]#ked up dreams.

I thought that was nutmeg.

wordsmythe wrote:
Nuean wrote:
NSMike wrote:

Since we're on the subject of cookies, if you briefly microwave ginger snaps, they get really soft and chewy.

If you eat like half a box of them right before you go to bed, you get some really [email protected]#ked up dreams.

I thought that was nutmeg.

Only if you sprinkle it on your shrooms.

Where does that rumor come from? You remind me of a time my sons (they were 11 and 12) and two of their friends decided they would get high if they smoked nutmeg and basil. They didn't quite know how, so they rolled it like they saw in a movie in loose-leaf notebook paper. The elder friend told his mom I needed to borrow some for a recipe. She called me and asked me what the heck I was cooking, and we tracked them down.

For the record they didn't get high - they got sick.

momgamer wrote:

Where does that rumor come from? You remind me of a time my sons (they were 11 and 12) and two of their friends decided they would get high if they smoked nutmeg and basil. They didn't quite know how, so they rolled it like they saw in a movie in loose-leaf notebook paper. The elder friend told his mom I needed to borrow some for a recipe. She called me and asked me what the heck I was cooking, and we tracked them down.

For the record they didn't get high - they got sick.

T'ain't actually a myth. It's just that, and by all accounts, it's not exactly a pleasant experience. Mind you, same could be said for any psychoactive/psychadelic,

erowid(the linked article) wrote:

Nutmeg is perhaps best described as a deliriant. In low doses nutmeg inebriation shares characteristics of the combination of alcohol and marijuana. In higher doses the effects are more similar to those of the tropane alkaloids, causing confusion, disorientation, and hallucinations. The effects of nutmeg come on and dissipate in waves. One moment there may be a feeling of inebriation, while the next moment the feeling has passed. As the effects subside, the veil between ordinary and non-ordinary reality remains thin, allowing the user some control to switch back and forth between states of consciousness.

A friend of mine had a book in high school called "Legal High" or something. It listed about every herb and spice and detailed how much of them you had to eat and what kind of high you would get.

The amount you had to eat and the high you would get were both ridiculous. They tended to read like "Take 2 pounds of cloves and grind them up and mix it with applesauce and eat it. You will vomit blood for about 12 hours, then you will experience about 3 days of euphoria and hallucination."

I'm pretty sure if you managed to eat enough of any one thing, your body would probably do weird things. And then quit working.

Nuean wrote:

I'm pretty sure if you managed to eat enough of any one thing, your body would probably do weird things. And then quit working.

I've yet to find that point with sushi, but I've come close.

Cheese, on the other hand, that s*** will f*** you up.

Jonman wrote:
Nuean wrote:

I'm pretty sure if you managed to eat enough of any one thing, your body would probably do weird things. And then quit working.

I've yet to find that point with sushi, but I've come close.

Cheese, on the other hand, that s*** will f*** you up.

While I was in the navy, we had to shift home ports from Kings Bay, GA to Bangor, WA. The other crew (ballistic missile submarines have two crews) took the boat around, so we had to drive cross country. One of the guys in my division decided he wanted to make the trip as fast as possible, so he packed a cooler with snacks and energy drinks and started driving. For some unknown reason, one of the snacks he had packed was a four pound block of sharp Wisconsin cheddar. He ate it in a day.

Five days later, he reported to our corpsman complaining of abdominal pain. Let's just say that the level of constipation he was suffering required hydromechanical intervention to resolve.

That's my disturbing and convoluted way of saying that Jonman is wise, and we should all defer to him on the subject of cheese.

trichy wrote:

Let's just say that the level of constipation he was suffering required hydromechanical intervention to resolve.

"Hydromechanical intervention" has just trumped "digital fecal disimpaction" for best euphemistic constipation-related jargon.

Also, sexy.

trichy wrote:

Five days later, he reported to our corpsman complaining of abdominal pain. Let's just say that the level of constipation he was suffering required hydromechanical intervention to resolve.

I hate to be curious about stuff like that but just what exactly did they do to him??

Sounds like a colonic to me. But I prefer his phrasing.

Hydromechanical could really refer to anything involving fluids and movement. So either a colonic or hot sex was required. I prefer to think that it was hot sex.

LarryC wrote:

So either a colonic or hot sex was required.

Can't it be both?

No one knows what happened after he disappeared behind that steel door, his knees knocking and his hands scrabbling desperately at his pain-wracked stomach. But when the door shut behind him, the deadbolt snapping into place with the grim finality of the snap of a crocodile's jaws around a hapless reality show host, the sounds that emerged from that room were an unholy mix of man's most diabolical inventions and God's most twisted conceptions.

There was silence for a moment, then a loud metal scraping, as if the teeth of a chainsaw were being dragged across the blood and bile-stained linoleum, curling tiny strips of flooring under the rusted iron teeth. Then, whimpering, the sound dragged from that primal place where cavemen used to cower, gazing out over the flickering fire to the darkness, where tooth and claw waited to tear and rip. A voice spoke rapidly in German, the guttural syllables clawing their way up past years of tobacco and toilet wine. The whimpering became pleading, disjointed words promising a life of purity and repentance if the fate looming over them would only settle its terrible gaze on another.

Alas, the demons do not hear the pleas of men, and a mighty roar shook those of us forced to listen to our very bone. An engine fueled by the blood of the damned and lubricated by the tears of grief-stricken mothers revved up to a high-pitched shriek, and we all wept as black exhaust billowed out from beneath the door, smelling of burned bones and rotting despair. A deep chanting mixed in with the terrible thunder, alien words that my ears recoiled to hear. But as we all fell to our knees and prayed to an uncaring God for this abomination to come to a merciful end, the water began to flow.

But this was no gentle trickle. The thundering rush of white foam and pounding black riptides rose with all the other horrible sounds. His screams took on another quality, moving through agony and terror to the wails of madness, a mind broken by the sight of all that men are not meant to witness. A rush of liquid horror burst from the gap beneath the door, a bilious mixture of black pus and corrupted water, and we all clambered up onto whatever refuge we could find. One hapless sonar technician wasn't quick enough, and we had to watch as his flesh foamed and spit, dissolving as he scrabbled at the side of the Pepsi machine I had sought salvation upon. He begged me to end his life quickly as he was dragged beneath the noxious waves, but I was helpless to intervene as a shadowy form moved sinuously in the roiling filth, snapped its terrible jaws, and dragged him screaming below.

Just as I felt my sanity fading into some dark corner of my subconscious, the sounds abruptly stopped. The waves subsided, draining away through the cracked and ruined floor. The door creaked open, and our beleaguered comrade stumbled out. His hair was now shock white, his clothes hung in shredded tatters about his now-skeletal frame. He fell to his knees, and collapsed into a ruined heap of despair and madness on the stinking tile, his bloodshot eyes staring into a future now tainted with hopeless futility.

As we trembled, wanting to help but unable to move, the doctor emerged. A tall, impossibly thin man, wearing an immaculate white suit. The bones seemed to shift beneath his nearly translucent skin, and he opened a mouth filled with broken and bloody teeth. His voice was the chorus of burning children's screams, and I wept hot tears of blood as he hissed:

"Behold the power of cheese!"

trichy wrote:

pure awesome

"Behold the power of cheese!"

This is the way to wake up.

trichy wrote:

This is what happens when you have a writer aboard, people.

I love you, man.

I..... I...... uuhhhmmmm................................/slowclap.

Atras wrote:
trichy wrote:

This is what happens when you have a writer aboard, people.

I love you, man.

Another 72 Hours in Innsmouth

momgamer wrote:

Where does that rumor come from? You remind me of a time my sons (they were 11 and 12) and two of their friends decided they would get high if they smoked nutmeg and basil. They didn't quite know how, so they rolled it like they saw in a movie in loose-leaf notebook paper. The elder friend told his mom I needed to borrow some for a recipe. She called me and asked me what the heck I was cooking, and we tracked them down.

For the record they didn't get high - they got sick.

You don't smoke it, you eat it (or boil it to make a tea).

trichy wrote:

pure awesome

"Behold the power of cheese!"

Challenge: Accepted?