Blood Bowl: GWJ Slap & Tickle League

Thursday at ten works fine for me.

Gwinn, how's your Friday Evening looking?

Rookie Dwarves vs Elves. I expect to lose, but cause some carnage along the way

Which really, is all an Urist could ask for.

Oh, and since people seem to work better with deadlines, let's say that all week 1 games should be completed by Thursday, January 19.

Prozac wrote:

Gwinn, how's your Friday Evening looking?

Rookie Dwarves vs Elves. I expect to lose, but cause some carnage along the way

Which really, is all an Urist could ask for.

Friday's free. I could fit a game in after about 8:30 central time.

This will be my first multiplayer game with a Dark Elf team, so that'll be interesting.

Golly, I've never played Cayne before. I do hope we'll be able to get our game in.

(Sunday?)

Sunday is good... i may go paintballing that day in which case i'd be about 7 PST when i'm free.

Of course, my first match has to be against Grumpy, so he can witness me at my most n00b.

In like flint.

Not even the bottom of turn 4 and I have two KOed black orcs, a KOed lineman, and a dead black orc. Wowza digital dice hate me.

Now both werewolves are down, fractured skull and smashed hip. This game is a blood bath.

thejustinbot wrote:

Not even the bottom of turn 4 and I have two KOed black orcs, a KOed lineman, and a dead black orc. Wowza digital dice hate me.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You think they hate you, eh?

At the time nothing was going my way. That second half was brutal in so many ways. I'm happy with the 1-1 draw but Lars can't be. Good luck the rest of the season man, one dead black orc is nothing compared to the carnage you took.

To sum up my game against Grump:

IMAGE(http://ihavenoideawhatiamdoing.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/dog_science.jpg)

I'll sign up too, but I'm with Legion. Prozac cleaned the floor with me twice, and once he was nice enough to destroy my entire squad so that there was no one left to play. It was rather embarassing.

BlackSheep wrote:

once he was nice enough to destroy my entire squad so that there was no one left to play

Prozac doesn't really care about the score. This is his objective every game. Beware the sidelines!

BlackSheep wrote:

I'll sign up too, but I'm with Legion. Prozac cleaned the floor with me twice, and once he was nice enough to destroy my entire squad so that there was no one left to play. It was rather embarassing.

I'm all for other pathetic n00bs joining me. I joined the league because I've always thought the game looked cool, and this would make me play it and learn WTF is going on.

*Legion* wrote:
BlackSheep wrote:

I'll sign up too, but I'm with Legion. Prozac cleaned the floor with me twice, and once he was nice enough to destroy my entire squad so that there was no one left to play. It was rather embarassing.

I'm all for other pathetic n00bs joining me. I joined the league because I've always thought the game looked cool, and this would make me play it and learn WTF is going on.

You guys be sure to talk to OilyPenguin about the Scrubs league.

I think tboon was too scared to face me tonight. It's understandable.

Spoiler:

Actually I wasn't sure if I could make it so we didn't have committed plans.

Ok, game 1 for the Hammers is down. It's down just like their chances of competing this year.

Coin flip went to the Orc 'N' Pie Boar Boys, and they decided to kickoff to the Hammers. Fran Tarkenten was able to pickup the ball for the Hammers, and a cage was quickly formed around him as the rest of the team proceeded to block downfield. A few well executed blocks resulted in a few knocked out Orcs, and even a dead Black Orc. After a few turns, Fran was able to break into the clear, and proceeded to stand at the opponents goal line for a few turns in order to run out the half time clock, and not give the Pie Boar Boys a chance at a first half touchdown. Fran scored at turn 8, and things were looking up for the Hammers............

.......... and that was to be the highlight for the Hammers for the game, maybe even the season.

The last turn of the half for the Pie Boar Boys resulted in a fury of blocking, the results of which were a knocked out Leif the Drunkard, and a crippling hip injury for Fenrir Greyback, one of the 2 werewolves for the Hammers.

2nd half kickoff was received by a beaten up Pie Boar Boys, but they quickly managed to even the odds. At various times over the next 4-5 turns, the other Hammer werewolf, Remus Lupin, went out with a fractured skull, the berserker Harry the Hostile suffered his own smashed hip, Erik Northman and Hagar the Horrible (runner and berserker respectively) were also knocked out of the game. With some deft moves, the Pie Boar Boys were able to score on turn 8 to get the tie.

Current team value for The Hammer is my penes: 690. I couldn't be happier for the bye week next week, as I have to decide what I'm going to do with this beaten-up team.

gregrampage wrote:

I think tboon was too scared to face me tonight. It's understandable.

Spoiler:

Actually I wasn't sure if I could make it so we didn't have committed plans.

Shaking in my boots. Also asleep in my chair. Scared and old and tired is what I am. Also with a crick in my neck.

Grumpicus wrote:
*Legion* wrote:
BlackSheep wrote:

I'll sign up too, but I'm with Legion. Prozac cleaned the floor with me twice, and once he was nice enough to destroy my entire squad so that there was no one left to play. It was rather embarassing.

I'm all for other pathetic n00bs joining me. I joined the league because I've always thought the game looked cool, and this would make me play it and learn WTF is going on.

You guys be sure to talk to OilyPenguin about the Scrubs league.

Yeah. We haven't started yet and I can open up 2 spots. The focus for Scrubs league is new players and learning. All the vet coaches play for ties or try weird things and we'll walk you through some stuff in voice chat if you'd like. Best way to learn in my opinion.

@Lars: So... remember how I said the Norse are awesome unless you have bad luck with injuries? Yeah, you're doing it wrong =)

oilypenguin wrote:

@Lars: So... remember how I said the Norse are awesome unless you have bad luck with injuries? Yeah, you're doing it wrong =)

Yeah, thanks Lombardi. Any other advise you want to give me? Do you really think I could fly off that bridge if I jump?

Last call for Scrubs league. I'd like to start it on Sunday.

Search for GWJ in leagues and the password to join is 'newmeatGWJ' it will only accept new teams around TV 1000 at this point.

Stupid dwarves. I'm down a blitzer now.

Ok, I just gave commish rights to Prozac for both leagues, so if you have a need to get a game validated and I'm not around, speak to him.

oilypenguin wrote:
Grumpicus wrote:
*Legion* wrote:
BlackSheep wrote:

I'll sign up too, but I'm with Legion. Prozac cleaned the floor with me twice, and once he was nice enough to destroy my entire squad so that there was no one left to play. It was rather embarassing.

I'm all for other pathetic n00bs joining me. I joined the league because I've always thought the game looked cool, and this would make me play it and learn WTF is going on.

You guys be sure to talk to OilyPenguin about the Scrubs league.

Yeah. We haven't started yet and I can open up 2 spots. The focus for Scrubs league is new players and learning. All the vet coaches play for ties or try weird things and we'll walk you through some stuff in voice chat if you'd like. Best way to learn in my opinion.

@Lars: So... remember how I said the Norse are awesome unless you have bad luck with injuries? Yeah, you're doing it wrong =)

Dude, I'm all in... I've been playing the computer on normal quite heavily, just to get the hang of sh*t and figure out my favorite playstyle, and I can constantly smear the computer, but I'm just wandering in the dark against a hooman.

Legion, I'll be your TB Bucs to your Jax Jags and we can make it the must-not see game of the year.

Lars wrote:

Ok, I just gave commish rights to Prozac for both leagues, so if you have a need to get a game validated and I'm not around, speak to him.

The POWER! the UNLIMTED POWER!!!

I do have a mild complaint. after the match I won 80k in prize money, but after Lars our

Spoiler:

Corrupt commissioner

validated the match I only had 40k in the bank!

Spoiler:

Didn't take long for Lars' old tricks to come out!

Anyways...

Gwinn put up a valiant fight but when he said at the start of the match it was the first time he'd faced Dwarves I knew he was in for something special.

Gwinn recieved the kick and proceeded to mark up the dwarves with elves. One turn later there was a blood on the pitch and a Dead Elf Blitzer at the hands of Urist McPenguin. Gwinn quickly learned to avoid the dwarves and tried some sneaky moves with his fast and agile elves. The Dwarves managed to contain them and after an attempted lateral pass to some unmakred elves in the centre of the pitch failed there was a massive scrum. Shortly after there were no elves standing and Urist McSure-Hands waddled in with the first touchdown at the bottom of turn 7.

The second half saw the dwarves of Clan Urist recieve a high kick and move the ball upfield. The drive stalled out for a while but ultimately Urist McBlitz-a-lot the Dwarven Blitzer managed to waddle in for the 2-0 victory.

Team Captain and Clan Leader Urist McUrist took the MVP of Clan Urist's first victory.

Strike the Earth!

Necrophobia vs Rascists, only lizards

/sigh

Well, I knew that making a bunch of lizard racists would come back and haunt me, I just assumed that they would get to play at least a full match before that happened.

Let's put it this way, when your bashy team can only push and your skinks can't make a dodge roll, you're not going to do well. I did not do very well. Score was 2-1 by turn 14 and I was completely out of skinks. To add insult to injury, my computer crashed then and, despite the fact that I had it back up and running before my turn timed out, we learned that there isn't a way to reconnect once you leave. So...

3-1 Cayne's Necrophobia takes it.

I think I got nothing out of this match but a lingering injury on a skink.

/sigh

Note: Cayne offered to replay the match but I was beaten before my computer crashed and I did not accept. There's nothing to be done.

I still haven't heard from Knightsabre, so just posting again on here. I have also pmed him.

All played games have been validated. Only 2 games left to play for day 1.

onewild wrote:

I still haven't heard from Knightsabre, so just posting again on here. I have also pmed him.

Let me know if you don't hear anything from him by Thursday of this week.