Stupid little bags of testosterone

Where is Marsman? This thread is bespoke made for him.

Where IS Marsman? Haven't seen him around in a while. :/

Funkenpants wrote:

Kids should never have sex, I guess.

It's interesting that both parents and kids are both mortified at the idea of the other having sex.

So is the rule here that kids should never have sex outside some form of committed love relationship, or have only a few sexual partners, or not have sex at all until 18?

Even when I was a kid people were having sex in high school, and experimenting with different things in 8th grade. Was that wrong?

trichy wrote:
momgamer wrote:

Don't get your cape caught in the intake on this one. They've got to grow up. Outside of polishing the eyes you get in the back of your head as part of the parenting package deal, there's not a lot you can really do. They are going to grow up, things will happen, and one day she'll be dancing in a long white dress and you won't know what happened.

I know she's going to grow up, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. But it's still not easy to sit there and let it happen. It's much more satisfying to answer the door with a butcher knife and a glare.

I know you know that with your head. Really understanding and feeling it is quite something else. And doubly not having it hurt your relationship with your daughter because you've scared her away from talking to you when she needs to because she knows you're going to "freak out" if she does.

And I'm looking but I can't find anything that I said that implies that it's easy. Heck, I still have trouble with it and one of mine is a combat veteran!

Funkenpants wrote:

So is the rule here that kids should never have sex outside some form of committed love relationship, or have only a few sexual partners, or not have sex at all until 18?

Let's table that discussion for some other P&C thread. Trichy's really just getting normal Dad impulses at boys coming over. His girls haven't even gotten to where the real trouble is: High School. Once the kids are there, the dating ramps up, the school dances become an issue, there are cliques and competing girls, teenage drivers, drugs and alcohol get introduced, and let's not forget that long standing tradition of senior boys going after freshmen girls.

But! Gather all ye Goodjer Parents for I have a solution! Children of Goodjers Dating Service! We get groups of our kids of similar age together for a big gaming night, and then just sit back and watch the magic happen! It's brilliant! We won't have to worry as much that our kids are going out with some crazy unknown, because instead it will be the offspring of a fellow Goodjer! And, if they do hit it off, we'll already know that the future in-laws are awesome people! It's WIN/WIN I tell you!

Well, someone is eventually going to tap that so just deal with it.

Seriously though, I don't have kids yet but I'm terrified of having a daughter for the same type of scenario your dealing with and many others. I know how I was at that age (lost virginity at 14 and was a horny little punk) and I really don't want to have to deal with being on the constant defense against an army of penises.

Godspeed in your efforts and if you ever need bail money, have someone PM me.

ThatGuy42 wrote:

Let's table that discussion for some other P&C thread.

I don't see why this is a P&C issue. It's a thread about parenting, isn't it?

Funkenpants wrote:
ThatGuy42 wrote:

Let's table that discussion for some other P&C thread.

I don't see why this is a P&C issue. It's a thread about parenting, isn't it?

I agree with what you said, but it's a thread about a political and controversial part of parenting.

Funkenpants wrote:

So is the rule here that kids should never have sex outside some form of committed love relationship, or have only a few sexual partners, or not have sex at all until 18?

Even when I was a kid people were having sex in high school, and experimenting with different things in 8th grade. Was that wrong?

I will actually say that Funkenpants makes a good point, and if it were any other children I was talking about, I would agree completely. But it isn't another kid, it's my girl. And I am apparently incapable of rational thought when it comes to the idea of some little sperm factory who masturbates so much he should be able to list sperm as an export tagging around after Emily. I know it's normal, and I could not conceivably care less.

Funkenpants wrote:

So is the rule here that kids should never have sex outside some form of committed love relationship, or have only a few sexual partners, or not have sex at all until 18?

It seems to be the usual Dad rule, despite the inherent hypocrisy given that every Dad who's brandishing his guns at his teenage daughter's boyfriends was, at some point in the past, most likely a teenage boy trying to score some teenage pussy.

My personal take on it is that it's nonsense. That said, all bets are off when it comes to my kids, and I end up committing the exact same hypocrisy.

trichy wrote:

I will actually say that Funkenpants makes a good point, and if it were any other children I was talking about, I would agree completely. But it isn't another kid, it's my girl. And I am apparently incapable of rational thought when it comes to the idea of some little sperm factory who masturbates so much he should be able to list sperm as an export tagging around after Emily. I know it's normal, and I could not conceivably care less.

+1

trichy wrote:
Funkenpants wrote:

So is the rule here that kids should never have sex outside some form of committed love relationship, or have only a few sexual partners, or not have sex at all until 18?

Even when I was a kid people were having sex in high school, and experimenting with different things in 8th grade. Was that wrong?

I will actually say that Funkenpants makes a good point, and if it were any other children I was talking about, I would agree completely. But it isn't another kid, it's my girl. And I am apparently incapable of rational thought when it comes to the idea of some little sperm factory who masturbates so much he should be able to list sperm as an export tagging around after Emily. I know it's normal, and I could not conceivably care less.

Question the First: Do you want your daughter to be happy?

Question the Second: Do you think that your daughter having boyfriends as a teenager (including some that she ends up having sex with) would make her happy?

Question the Third: Do you think that you can stop her from having sexual relationships while she's a teenager?

For me, the answers currently are Yes, Yes, and Hell-No. But as I mentioned, I don't have a daughter, so what the hell do I really know about it?

trichy wrote:
Funkenpants wrote:

So is the rule here that kids should never have sex outside some form of committed love relationship, or have only a few sexual partners, or not have sex at all until 18?

Even when I was a kid people were having sex in high school, and experimenting with different things in 8th grade. Was that wrong?

I will actually say that Funkenpants makes a good point, and if it were any other children I was talking about, I would agree completely. But it isn't another kid, it's my girl. And I am apparently incapable of rational thought when it comes to the idea of some little sperm factory who masturbates so much he should be able to list sperm as an export tagging around after Emily. I know it's normal, and I could not conceivably care less.

What you said. I want my daughter to have a rich, full, interesting life, and part of that is obviously a satisfying sex life. BUT I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT OR HEAR ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING ELSE. She'll always be my baby girl.

My general rule will be to tell them to be safe, be smart, and hopefully wait until college.

Jonman wrote:

For me, the answers currently are Yes, Yes, and Hell-No. But as I mentioned, I don't have a daughter, so what the hell do I really know about it?

Exactly. I've not posted in this thread yet because I don't have kids but I'm fairly sure this won't be the only issue that I flip flop on once I have kids of my own.

ThatGuy42 wrote:

But! Gather all ye Goodjer Parents for I have a solution! Children of Goodjers Dating Service! We get groups of our kids of similar age together for a big gaming night, and then just sit back and watch the magic happen! It's brilliant! We won't have to worry as much that our kids are going out with some crazy unknown, because instead it will be the offspring of a fellow Goodjer! And, if they do hit it off, we'll already know that the future in-laws are awesome people! It's WIN/WIN I tell you!

Quintin isn't having kids, right? I mean, I don't have any, either, but I don't want to imagine what would happen if our genes mixed.

Funkenpants wrote:
ThatGuy42 wrote:

Let's table that discussion for some other P&C thread.

I don't see why this is a P&C issue. It's a thread about parenting, isn't it?

Parenting & Consolation, right?

Are you guys sure you want your daughters to wait to have sex until they're on a college campus surrounded by dudebros?

SO glad I don't have any kids yet, and have an undefined (but probably large) amount of time to think about how I'd handle this.

...Though honestly, I'm right there with Jonman:

Jonman wrote:

Question the First: Do you want your daughter to be happy?

Question the Second: Do you think that your daughter having boyfriends as a teenager (including some that she ends up having sex with) would make her happy?

Question the Third: Do you think that you can stop her from having sexual relationships while she's a teenager?

For me, the answers currently are Yes, Yes, and Hell-No. But as I mentioned, I don't have a daughter, so what the hell do I really know about it?

trichy wrote:

I know it's normal, and I could not conceivably care less.

It's very difficult to make the transition from being the parent of a young kid to being the parent of a teenager, but it happens whether you want it to happen or not. Same kid, but he or she is dealing with a whole bunch of new influences and temptations, knowledge, types of experience. They need help with that, but they're also going to decide a lot of things on their own. If you don't deal with these things rationally, you risk making her miserable, and you risk making yourself miserable.

That's my take on it. I recognize that other people see things differently.

Chumpy_McChump wrote:

Parenting & Consolation, right?

At least we're not discussing whether it's okay for her to be an athiest.

Well, the standard dime-store adage for any sort of problem is to break it into smaller sub-problems and handle them one by one. So let's try that:

Problem 1: You may be overreacting.
Solution:

You probably ARE, but just because you're overreacting doesn't mean that there's not a legitimate concern as well. So the solution would seem to be to stop OVERreacting and start REACTING in a sensible way that might bring you some peace of mind.

I will say that it would probably be a good idea to knock off the "Suzie" and "Dorothy" stuff, at least to the boys' faces and in front of your daughters. It might make you feel better, but it's not super productive, and it's not likely to make your daughters eager to listen when you DO have something serious to say about boys and dating.

Now, what you say behind their backs to blow off steam is your own business.

Problem 2: You are concerned that these little turds may not have the purest of intentions.
Solution:

Again, you may very well be right about this, but there's a world of difference between "intentions" and "actions." Most 13-year-old little turds wouldn't know Thing 1 about what to do with a 13-year-old girl even if they somehow stumbled on one that was willing.

Which is not to say that you shouldn't take some obvious, common-sense precautions, such as meeting anyone (of either gender) that they're spending any significant amount of time with, meeting these friends' parents, too, and making sure any get-togethers are properly chaperoned.

Problem 3: You are perhaps concerned that your daughters may not know how to handle themselves if some little turd DID get fresh.
Solution:

This is the thing that you have the most control over, so it's probably where you should focus your efforts. How much have you talked to their mother about this? You may remember what it was like to be a 13-year-old turd with more testosterone than sense, but SHE remembers what it was like to be a 13-year-old girl with a bunch of little turds hanging all over her. She probably has some pretty good ideas about how to handle it.

This is also where getting to know your daughters' friends, including female friends, comes in handy. Most girls are smart enough not to let some little turd pressure her into anything; it's when her FEMALE friends are telling her all about their own fumbling exploits with whatever little turd is lucky enough to have their favor this week that she might get tempted to experiment beyond what's appropriate for her age. If you know for a fact that her friends are good people who are going to give her good advice, it might go a long way to bringing you some peace of mind.

wordsmythe wrote:
ThatGuy42 wrote:

But! Gather all ye Goodjer Parents for I have a solution! Children of Goodjers Dating Service! We get groups of our kids of similar age together for a big gaming night, and then just sit back and watch the magic happen! It's brilliant! We won't have to worry as much that our kids are going out with some crazy unknown, because instead it will be the offspring of a fellow Goodjer! And, if they do hit it off, we'll already know that the future in-laws are awesome people! It's WIN/WIN I tell you!

Quintin isn't having kids, right? I mean, I don't have any, either, but I don't want to imagine what would happen if our genes mixed.

Well, I'd bet your wives would be pretty upset, for one thing.

*Legion* wrote:

SOON...

I just realized what you meant by that. :eyeroll:

You do realize how close Texas and Tennessee are, right?

momgamer wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

SOON...

I just realized what you meant by that. :eyeroll:

You do realize how close Texas and Tennessee are, right?

Well, hell, that just set off a new round of eye twitching.

Her mom is dealing with this MUCH better than me. But to be fair, she looks back on when she was thirteen and sees the fumbling attempts of teenage boys as awkward and adorably lame. I look back to when I was thirteen and remember being a raging mass of hormones with the sole purpose to see/touch/sketch clumsily on the side of my friend's trapper keeper a girl's breasts.

I didn't practice abstinence in High School, but to be fair, the opportunity never presented itself.

We had an abstinence-focused sex ed class in my high school, but I tested out of it. Or more accurately, I walked in on the first day and the teacher took one look and said, "Yeah, you're fine. Just keep doing what you're doing."

Do you have a cast iron skillet and two copies of your book?

You do NOT want her to wait until her wedding, or this will happen:

I'm horrified and refuse to believe that's real.

Amoebic wrote:

I'm horrified and refuse to believe that's real.

Not only do I think it's real, I can only imagine what their honeymoon was like.

Boy that must of been a bloopers reel. "How do I put it in?"

Wolfen Victrocious wrote:
Amoebic wrote:

I'm horrified and refuse to believe that's real.

Not only do I think it's real, I can only imagine what their honeymoon was like.

Boy that must of been a bloopers reel. "How do I put it in?"

You'd be suprised at how naturally that part comes. Just because they were virgins doesn't mean they don't know how sex works.