Halloween may be over, but many teams are still suffering from A Nightmare On Eighth Week. Let's see who got rocks in their treat bags:
Colts 10 - Titans 27: In the event Indianapolis ends up with the #1 pick in the draft and takes Andrew Luck, I'm suddenly picturing a remake of one of the penultimate scenes from Top Gun...
Peyton: "You can be my back-up anytime."
Andrew: "Bull***t. You can be mine."
Saints 21 - Rams 31: Memo to the now-retired Tony LaRussa: the tucked-in football jersey doesn't work on you. Just saying.
Dolphins 17 - Giants 20: Someone check the Jersey woods to see if Miami fans buried their team there.
Vikings 24 - Panthers 21: Reason for excitement in Minnesota? Well, about the only thing they can say with pride is that their rookie QB survived against the team with the odds on choice for rookie of the year.
Cardinals 27 - Ravens 30: It's a win, but it's still tough to get too amped up about Baltimore anymore.
Jaguars 14 - Texans 24: Being kings of the AFC South isn't what it used to be anymore.
Redskins 0 - Bills 23: What happened, Washington? Did your offense fail to clear customs?
Lion 45 - Tebows 10: I know that out there somewhere right now there is someone trying to craft up a long winded explanation as to why Tim Tebow gives Denver a better shot at winning than any quarterback currently on the team or sitting somewhere out there.
Patriots 17 - Steelers 25: It's easy to pick the top team in the NFC, namely the Packers, but the AFC...even after this game you still want to hedge your bets in declaring Pittsburgh as the best. At the least, Dick LaBeau and the Steelers' D figured out how to squelch Tom Brady and Wes Welker.
Browns 10 - 49ers 20: Jim Harbaugh's coaching abilities have been widely and deservedly praised for turning Alex Smith into an NFL quarterback, but who'd ever think he could turn two linemen into recievers?
Bengals 34 - Seahawks 12: If there was such an award, surely Andy Dalton and A.J. Green would win one for being the best rookie QB and receiver combination.
Cowboys 7 - Eagles 34: Cheer up Dallas sports fans. At least the Rangers are in the World Series...oh wait, they lost. But at least the Mavericks won the NBA championship...oh wait, the NBA's in a lock-out. Never mind. Moving on...
Chargers 20 - Chiefs 23: So, Phillip Rivers, how's it feel to blow the game completely?
Week 9 Pick 'Em: Remember when I said I was hoping this would get more interesting? Yeah, apparently by interesting I mean terrible (pronounced properly like Charles Barkley does it). That .500 line was flirted with more than that one girl in the bar who just discovered the awesomeness of tequila slammers. Here's the damage report:
My record: 2-3
I'm impressed no one ended up with a sombrero, however unfortunately I didn't get picks from Elliottx (20-15) and Atras (18-17). Oh well; can't blame them for wanting to avoid this week's shibacle. And here are the season to date totals:
My record: 30-10
Your guys' record:
A bad week was bound to happen and as you can see it's still anybody's ball game. This week, Detroit, Minnesota, Carolina, and Jacksonville are all on byes, leaving us with...
Jets at Bills: Buffalo already took care of business with that other "New York" team and considering the inconsistencies of the Jets, I see them doing well again. But note that I said "inconsistencies" and not "terribleness;" it's possible that they may pull out a win, but I'm not counting on it. Bills.
Buccaneers at Saints: One team is fresh from the post-London bye; the other...ain't lookin' all that fresh at the moment. But, New Orleans is at home and they did put up a 62 spot on the Colts two weeks ago whereas Tampa Bay dropped one in the UK and already have a huge road blowout staining their curriculum vitae for the season. Saints.
Bengals at Titans: Usually this would be considered a squeaker because both teams are bad, but instead it's a squaker because both teams are quietly good this year. But, as I said above, Dalton and Green are getting it done. Bengals.
Ravens at Steelers: After Week One, this looked like a lock for Baltimore. A few weeks ago, this could have gone either way. Now, though...have to say the edge belongs to Pittsburgh, but the momentum could swing back the other way just as easily. Steelers.
For my wildcard, I'll take the easy one and go with the Falcons over the Colts. And speaking of which, I leave you with a word from Jim Caldwell...
The horror! The horror!
I don't get a blank look from Cladwell, I read pure sadness. I see someone in shock. Maybe he's just walked in on his wife in bed with another man. Those downcast eyes and the slackjaw expression scream of unspeakable horrors.
Well put. Enjoy the week, folks.