NFL 2011 Week 9

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Halloween may be over, but many teams are still suffering from A Nightmare On Eighth Week. Let's see who got rocks in their treat bags:

Colts 10 - Titans 27: In the event Indianapolis ends up with the #1 pick in the draft and takes Andrew Luck, I'm suddenly picturing a remake of one of the penultimate scenes from Top Gun...

Peyton: "You can be my back-up anytime."

Andrew: "Bull***t. You can be mine."

Saints 21 - Rams 31: Memo to the now-retired Tony LaRussa: the tucked-in football jersey doesn't work on you. Just saying.

Dolphins 17 - Giants 20: Someone check the Jersey woods to see if Miami fans buried their team there.

Vikings 24 - Panthers 21: Reason for excitement in Minnesota? Well, about the only thing they can say with pride is that their rookie QB survived against the team with the odds on choice for rookie of the year.

Cardinals 27 - Ravens 30: It's a win, but it's still tough to get too amped up about Baltimore anymore.

Jaguars 14 - Texans 24: Being kings of the AFC South isn't what it used to be anymore.

Redskins 0 - Bills 23: What happened, Washington? Did your offense fail to clear customs?

Lion 45 - Tebows 10: I know that out there somewhere right now there is someone trying to craft up a long winded explanation as to why Tim Tebow gives Denver a better shot at winning than any quarterback currently on the team or sitting somewhere out there.

Patriots 17 - Steelers 25: It's easy to pick the top team in the NFC, namely the Packers, but the AFC...even after this game you still want to hedge your bets in declaring Pittsburgh as the best. At the least, Dick LaBeau and the Steelers' D figured out how to squelch Tom Brady and Wes Welker.

Browns 10 - 49ers 20: Jim Harbaugh's coaching abilities have been widely and deservedly praised for turning Alex Smith into an NFL quarterback, but who'd ever think he could turn two linemen into recievers?

Bengals 34 - Seahawks 12: If there was such an award, surely Andy Dalton and A.J. Green would win one for being the best rookie QB and receiver combination.

Cowboys 7 - Eagles 34: Cheer up Dallas sports fans. At least the Rangers are in the World Series...oh wait, they lost. But at least the Mavericks won the NBA championship...oh wait, the NBA's in a lock-out. Never mind. Moving on...

Chargers 20 - Chiefs 23: So, Phillip Rivers, how's it feel to blow the game completely?

IMAGE(http://ftrsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/stupid-philip-rivers-face.jpg)

Week 9 Pick 'Em: Remember when I said I was hoping this would get more interesting? Yeah, apparently by interesting I mean terrible (pronounced properly like Charles Barkley does it). That .500 line was flirted with more than that one girl in the bar who just discovered the awesomeness of tequila slammers. Here's the damage report:

My record: 2-3

Your records:

Kush15: 3-2
boogle: 3-2
*Legion*: 3-2
TheGameguru: 3-2
iaintgotnopants: 3-2

Xeknos: 2-3
Nightmare: 2-3
Enix: 2-3
garion333: 2-3
Jayhawker: 2-3

MilkmanDanimal: 1-4
Minase: 1-4
oldmanscene24: 1-4
Landshrk83: 1-4
bighoppa: 1-4
LeapingGnome: 1-4
Gumbie: 1-4

I'm impressed no one ended up with a sombrero, however unfortunately I didn't get picks from Elliottx (20-15) and Atras (18-17). Oh well; can't blame them for wanting to avoid this week's shibacle. And here are the season to date totals:

My record: 30-10

Your guys' record:

Minase: 29-11
Nightmare: 29-11
TheGameguru: 29-11

garion333: 27-13
Xeknos: 27-13
Kush15: 27-13
boogle: 27-13

Gumbie: 26-14

oldmanscene24: 25-15
LeapingGnome: 25-15
Jayhawker: 25-15
*Legion*: 25-15
iaintgotnopants: 25-15

MilkmanDanimal: 24-16
bighoppa: 24-16
Enix: 24-16
Landshrk83: 24-16

A bad week was bound to happen and as you can see it's still anybody's ball game. This week, Detroit, Minnesota, Carolina, and Jacksonville are all on byes, leaving us with...

Jets at Bills: Buffalo already took care of business with that other "New York" team and considering the inconsistencies of the Jets, I see them doing well again. But note that I said "inconsistencies" and not "terribleness;" it's possible that they may pull out a win, but I'm not counting on it. Bills.

Buccaneers at Saints: One team is fresh from the post-London bye; the other...ain't lookin' all that fresh at the moment. But, New Orleans is at home and they did put up a 62 spot on the Colts two weeks ago whereas Tampa Bay dropped one in the UK and already have a huge road blowout staining their curriculum vitae for the season. Saints.

Bengals at Titans: Usually this would be considered a squeaker because both teams are bad, but instead it's a squaker because both teams are quietly good this year. But, as I said above, Dalton and Green are getting it done. Bengals.

Ravens at Steelers: After Week One, this looked like a lock for Baltimore. A few weeks ago, this could have gone either way. Now, though...have to say the edge belongs to Pittsburgh, but the momentum could swing back the other way just as easily. Steelers.

For my wildcard, I'll take the easy one and go with the Falcons over the Colts. And speaking of which, I leave you with a word from Jim Caldwell...

kaostheory wrote:

IMAGE(http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/2509/caldwellap.jpg)

The horror! The horror!

[aside]
I don't get a blank look from Cladwell, I read pure sadness. I see someone in shock. Maybe he's just walked in on his wife in bed with another man. Those downcast eyes and the slackjaw expression scream of unspeakable horrors.
[/aside]

Well put. Enjoy the week, folks.

When Ryan Leaf says you are better off with Orton than Tebow.. you know you are bad.

Jets at Bills

Buccaneers at Saints

Bengals at Titans

Ravens at Steelers

Wild Card: Browns at Texans

I feel so honored to have been selected for this prestigious award. I'd like to thank Lovie Smith for years of showing me what a blank look really is. I'd also like to thank Mrs. Caldwell for performing those unspeakable acts in front of her husband. I would also like to thank Peyton Manning for his part in those same acts.

I don't think I want to make pics anymore. It's too weird.

kaostheory wrote:

I feel so honored to have been selected for this prestigious award. I'd like to thank Lovie Smith for years of showing me what a blank look really is. I'd also like to thank Mrs. Caldwell for performing those unspeakable acts in front of her husband. I would also like to thank Peyton Manning for his part in those same acts.

IMAGE(http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/2509/caldwellap.jpg)

Jets at Bills

Buccaneers at Saints

Bengals at Titans

Ravens at Steelers

Wildcard: Broncos at Raiders

Jets at Bills: Ryan Fitzpatrick vs. Darrelle Revis.

Buccaneers at Saints: Because (A) I've been wrong on the last I think four Tampa games, and let's hope that continues and (B) Tampa is insanely inconsistent, even more than most teams.

Bengals at Titans: Because A.J. Green is a stud.

Ravens at Steelers: Purely going by "who's hot now".

Wildcard: Packers at Chargers. RIVERS FACE!

Jets
Saints
Bengals
Steelers

Wild Card: Raiders over the Tebows

Bills
Saints
Bengals

Steelers

I would normally pick the Raiders, as the more games Tebow starts, the more wild card picks I shouldn't even have to think about. My main concern is that Tebow is so bad that Orton or Quinn get put in and the Broncos win, sooooo...

San Francisco 49ers over the Redskins.

Bills
Saints
Bengals
Steelers

Chiefs over the Dolphins

Back on the KC Bandwagon. Well, for at least two more weeks. I fully expect them to lose the next five games after that.

Jets at Bills
Buccaneers at Saints
Bengals at Titans
Ravens at Steelers

And for a wildcard, there's no way I can't get in on the Tebow action.
Raaaaaaaaaiders over Tebows.

Jets at Bills
Buccaneers at Saints
Bengals at Titans
Ravens at Steelers

Wild card: Panthers vs. bye week

(For real: 49ers over DC)

boogle wrote:

Bills
Saints
Bengals
Ravens

Wild Card: Raiders over the former Elways

No, no; you're pronouncing it wrong. It's Raaaaaaaaaaiders if they win or you want them to win.

Bills
Saints
Bengals
Ravens

Wild Card: Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiders over the former Elways

Kolb might be out this weekend and St.Louis might swap spots with them in the race to the bottom....

Ultimately I think its going to be the Broncos as they will let Tebow hang himself multiple times before the fans are thoroughly satisfied that chanting his name over Orton isn't the solution.

Also the Broncos have the option of rolling out Brady Quinn even. Would be hilarious if they start chanting for Quinn next so he can get a 2-3 game run of playing himself out of the NFL.

Bills over Jets: Buffalo is playing some great football, and the Jets still haven't put anything together that impresses me.

Saints over Bucs: N'awlins will right the ship and sink Tampa's. Freeman needs to head back to Black Mesa.

Bengals over Titans: Bengals are getting it done. Titans are still trying to wake Johnson up. Apparently all that cash was covered in chloroform.

Steelers over Ravens: Coin flip game. The Ravens are schizophrenic right now, but the Steelers seem to be getting into a groove.

Wild Card - Texans over Browns.

Pro Football Talk wrote:

(Blaine) Gabbert’s play has regressed as the season has worn on. There hasn’t really been one game or moment for him where he’s looked like a franchise quarterback. The team hasn’t passed for 100 net yards in three weeks.

Excuses aplenty abound. He doesn’t have great weapons. Sometimes you have to trust your eyes, however. Gabbert looks a lot more like Jimmy Clausen or J.P. Losman than a promising prospect.

Never saw that comparison coming!

(Link)

There's still no comparison between Clausen (or Losman) and Gabbert. The flaws are completely different. Gabbert's not a rash throwing turnover machine. He's the exact opposite.

So let that one go, because there are actual comparisons of worry that are there to be made. The one that, as of right now, is right on the money is Brady Quinn.

Jets at Bills: Bills
Buccaneers at Saints: Saints
Bengals at Titans: Titans
Ravens at Steelers: Steelers
Wild Card Game: Browns at Texans: Texans

Jets at Bills
Buccaneers at Saints
Bengals at Titans
Ravens at Steelers
Wild Card Game: The Raaaaaaaaaaaiders over The Teblows.

Oh and the reason for no picks last week were because I was on a cruise ship surrounded by the living dead. They are much slower in real life then Hollywood makes them out to be.

No words, just picks.

Jets at Bills
Buccaneers at Saints
Bengals at Titans
Ravens at Steelers

Wild card: Seahawks at Cowboys.

IMAGE(http://msfstat.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/bust-buddies1.jpg)

That guy makes me nervous Monday night. Nothing like playing for a contract.

Bills
Saints
Bengals
Ravens

Texans over Browns (I think the Broncos might actually win but there's no way I'm picking Tebow!)

Jets
Saints
Bungles
Steelers
49'ers

Turns out somebody does want Terrell Owens: the police.

Bills
Saints
Titans
Steelers

Oakland over Denver

My picks, hope I do better than last week's bloodbath.

Jets at Bills
Buccaneers at Saints
Bengals at Titans
Ravens at Steelers

Wildcard: Seahawks at Cowboys

TheGameguru wrote:

Jets
Saints
Bungles
Steelers
49'ers

Are you still allowed to call them Bungles when they have a better record than the Eagles?

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