So one of my employees almost got locked up.

Plastefuchs wrote:
Paleocon wrote:

"this is that sh1t that made that naked dude go all cannibal in Miami, isn't it?"

Wat …

A man took drugs in Miami. Wigged out and ate a homeless man's face. Seriously.

Vector wrote:
Plastefuchs wrote:
Paleocon wrote:

"this is that sh1t that made that naked dude go all cannibal in Miami, isn't it?"

Wat …

A man took drugs in Miami. Wigged out and ate a homeless man's face. Seriously.

... all the while being buck-ass-naked.

Gorilla.800.lbs wrote:
Vector wrote:
Plastefuchs wrote:
Paleocon wrote:

"this is that sh1t that made that naked dude go all cannibal in Miami, isn't it?"

Wat …

A man took drugs in Miami. Wigged out and ate a homeless man's face. Seriously.

... all the while being buck-ass-naked.

And then tried to eat the face of the cop that told him to stop.

Was the cop quickly quarantined and chained?

Is this the beginning of the zombie apocalypse?

I think you do need to insist that there is a cost for your willingness to dive head first into helping. Its obvious the business is a failed business without you. This is especially due to the "community management" skills you have that are key to a mom and pop shop.

So you have demonstrated the way a local business should be run and I think you need to insist that your brother in law learn to see the big picture. Give him a time line and make sure your wife is on board. I'm sure she'll understand the whole "teach a man to fish versus giving him fish" moral.

Its okay for your wife to quibble over your personal time but she needs to understand the importance to your health. What is she going to do if you have a stroke? You know that these exceptional levels of stress have dire health conseqences. Go see a doctor, I guarantee your blood pressure spiked, has spiked, will spike.

Markly wrote:

Is this the beginning of the zombie apocalypse?

The zombie apocalypse has begun..., says the thread.

Markly wrote:

Is this the beginning of the zombie apocalypse?

Not according to the CDC. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...

But... they're probably just trying to maintain calm among the masses while they work on a cure/containment/eradication strategy.

As gorilla pointed out, we have a thread. There was also an incident in Maryland where a man ate his roommate's brains a few days ago, also in that thread. Getting mighty close to the gas station... I think that's where we should start our defense.

fangblackbone:

My take on it is that Paleo should just apply for the job already and demand a salary just like any top level manager. Family's family, but business is business. Getting one in the other isn't a good idea, IMX. Even my mom and dad keep their mutual business interests "clean." Her investment is hers; his investment is his. No special favors. No off-the-books requests.

Well, to be fair, the Maryland guy cooked his roommate's brain before eating it. Probably more garden-variety cannibal than zombie. 8-0

My take on it is that Paleo should just apply for the job already and demand a salary just like any top level manager. Family's family, but business is business. Getting one in the other isn't a good idea, IMX. Even my mom and dad keep their mutual business interests "clean." Her investment is hers; his investment is his. No special favors. No off-the-books requests.

I agree. I think the problem here is that the wife isn't setting boundaries and is making Paleo pay all her dues. Hopefully, Paleo setting boundaries will trickle up to his wife so that she has a minimum set to build on herself.

I see 2 people trying to run a local business by the numbers. People aren't numbers so when they don't act like them it should be no wonder why the business will fail. I see 1 person running the business as a member of the community. Run a local business like that and the only way you can fail is if Walmart builds next door. (and starts serving gas)

And obviously this is making it sound more easy than it is. And if I have jumped out of line playing closet shrink, I apologize and feel free to dissect my comments.

Paleo, this is why I live thousands of miles from my family. Good god, son. I'm so sorry.

Stop dogpiling on Paleo, guys, you're getting things so totally wrong, it's not even funny.

I bet that the situation, according to Paleo's relatives, is probably like this. His BIL is a proper gentleman who is pursuing a Master's degree, as it is befitting anyone who wants to make his family proud. Paleo, on the other hand, is a crass salaryman who simply wasn't smart enough to become a lawyer, a doctor, a maestro, or at least a tenured professor. Now, instead of supporting his song saeng's noble pursuits and letting him focus on the studies, he wants to make HIM rake the sh*t out of the restroom? Preposterous!

He's been living amongst the round-eyes too long! Number two son!

At the root of it, it's a matter of husband-wife dynamic. So I don't think the "move away from family" or "don't let brother-in-law bully you" are long-term solutions.

Quintin_Stone wrote:

At the root of it, it's a matter of husband-wife dynamic. So I don't think the "move away from family" or "don't let brother-in-law bully you" are long-term solutions.

"Lose your sh*t and go on a shivgee rampage" totally is though.

Jonman wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:

At the root of it, it's a matter of husband-wife dynamic. So I don't think the "move away from family" or "don't let brother-in-law bully you" are long-term solutions.

"Lose your sh*t and go on a shivgee rampage" totally is though.

"Find his boot. Take a sh*t in it to display your dominance"

boogle wrote:
Jonman wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:

At the root of it, it's a matter of husband-wife dynamic. So I don't think the "move away from family" or "don't let brother-in-law bully you" are long-term solutions.

"Lose your sh*t and go on a shivgee rampage" totally is though.

"Find his boot. Take a sh*t in it to display your dominance"

This is good solid advice.

FlamingPeasant wrote:
boogle wrote:
Jonman wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:

At the root of it, it's a matter of husband-wife dynamic. So I don't think the "move away from family" or "don't let brother-in-law bully you" are long-term solutions.

"Lose your sh*t and go on a shivgee rampage" totally is though.

"Find his boot. Take a sh*t in it to display your dominance"

This is good solid advice.

Is there anything that one cannot accomplish with a well-honed shivgee?

FlamingPeasant wrote:

This is good solid advice.

Well that depends on how much fiber he's eaten recently...

Could be a juicy tidbit.

All the advice aside, I think it's time to consider Paleo for beatification.

wordsmythe wrote:

All the advice aside, I think it's time to consider Paleo for beatification.

I concur. But as the patron saint of what? So many possibilities. Sharp objects? Weaponization of cleaning implements? Proper parking etiquette?

Heretk wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:

All the advice aside, I think it's time to consider Paleo for beatification.

I concur. But as the patron saint of what? So many possibilities. Sharp objects? Weaponization of cleaning implements? Proper parking etiquette?

Taking one for the family!

Heretk wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:

All the advice aside, I think it's time to consider Paleo for beatification.

I concur. But as the patron saint of what? So many possibilities. Sharp objects? Weaponization of cleaning implements? Proper parking etiquette?

St Paleocon, patron saint of badassery.

(pretty much captures all of the above)

Jonman wrote:
Heretk wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:

All the advice aside, I think it's time to consider Paleo for beatification.

I concur. But as the patron saint of what? So many possibilities. Sharp objects? Weaponization of cleaning implements? Proper parking etiquette?

St Paleocon, patron saint of badassery.

(pretty much captures all of the above)

It's time to start putting the 'beat' back into 'beatification'.

Perhaps a small change to the spelling to establish his street cred:

beatiphicashun

beatifrapulisim

The Saturday before, I got roped into finding a way to plant the new price sign since the entire neighborhood has gone to cash/credit differential pricing but us. We finally got the signed shipped to us and the combination of the price tag ($800) and the general hassle of having to install it made me want to make sure it wouldn't get lifted by some neighborhood crackhead that would sell it for the $40 worth of scrap metal.

I wanted to plant a 3200 pound concrete pedestal, but the brother in law seemed convinced that a 6 foot tall by 40" wide metal sign wouldn't end up getting knocked over by the wind if it had a pedestal 1/10th the size. I was sick of arguing so I just let him and my other brother in law talk it over. After about a half hour of furious hand gesturing in Korean, they decided that the best thing to do was to weld it to the existing price sign. This would require about 200 pounds of angle iron, a MIG welder, and all manner of complication. I was unconvinced, but I went along with it anyway.

About 4 hours in, we realized that the MIG we had wasn't strong enough to weld the angle iron to the very substantial sign tower. It just wasn't heating the metal hot enough to get a good bond. The one BiL was convinced it was okay, but I was skeptical. There was no way that chinsy weld was going to hold up to anything approaching the kind of abuse that neighborhood was inevitably going to dish out.

We decided to take a break on my insistence. I was unconvinced that we were making progress and that any further activity was only likely to get us deeper in the weeds.

Just then, we heard the thump thump thump of a low flying police helicopter. It circled our block a couple times indicating something interesting was headed our way. Sure enough, moments later, we could hear the high pitched whines of illegal dirt bikes as the teenage dirt bike gangs barreled ass toward our corner. There were about 60 of them and they cut the corner with various degrees of accuracy. One almost managed to splatter himself across the hood of an oncoming car. Another narrowly avoided the same by pulling onto the sidewalk and knocking a pedestrian on her ass.

The chopper continued to hover directly over our station as the bikes came around for a second pass, but this time the police had arrived with four cruisers. The first few bikes managed to weave between the cruisers and down toward North Avenue, but a couple others couldn't manage to make the turn. One slammed into the left rear quarterpanel of a BPD cruiser.

Just as I thought the excitement was over, a teen on a four wheeled ATV tried to make the corner, but upon seeing the cop cars, tried to correct to change direction. The resulting S turn forced him to lose control..... assh0le over teacups right into the new price sign.

Needless to say, the weld did not hold.

The BPD picked him up and tossed him in a waiting wagon. They left his wreck of an ATV in our lot for a couple hours while they called for an impound truck. This gave us more time to think about how badly we'd squandered our afternoon with poor planning.

Just then, my sister in law looked at us and pointed at the light pole directly next to our existing price sign and said "why don't you just bolt it to that?".

I wish I was smarter.