So one of my employees almost got locked up.

Can't wait to hit my brother-in-law with that. He just got back from a ride on the Wasp where they were flight testing JSFs.

Oorah

Paleocon wrote:

Just as I got done, he blew out the candle. After which I barked "What is general order number 12, sergeant?". He looked at me in puzzlement, stumbled for a while with orders 1-10, and finally said "aw sh1t" and started knocking out pushups.

Thought you were going to say he pulled the Rick Perry answer.

I hit the gym hard in frustration at evening dude's no show and the resultant chew out I got from the wife.

Never go to the gym that pissed. Never.

I think I might have pulled something in my lower back. Predictably, no sympathy from the wife.

There's no point to venting anger using harder physical exertion. Acting in anger only feeds the anger and makes it worse. And it kills your form, too. Physical activity should be used to diffuse the anger as a meditative activity, or by taking advantage of natural endorphins that are released during engaging physical exercise.

You know this, Paleocon!

Paleocon wrote:

I hit the gym hard in frustration at evening dude's no show and the resultant chew out I got from the wife.

Never go to the gym that pissed. Never.

I think I might have pulled something in my lower back. Predictably, no sympathy from the wife.

Edit: nevermind. Was going to rant about my wife, too, but removed it.

Just killed a half hour from this thread. This is awesome.

Paleocon, thank you. I admit to feeling somewhat guilty for enjoying your stories (given the trouble and frustration you go through during these experiences) but it is extremely entertaining for the rest of us.

They seem to be shooting an HBO movie across the street right now. It looks like the actress who played Elaine from sinefeld is directing. She stopped by and hit on my mechanic.

Paleocon wrote:

Smelly Santa is a cabby who comes in about 5 times a day to use the restroom. I think he has some kind of condition that makes him incontinent. In any event, his bowel control isn't the greatest. This combined with his nearly 400 pounds and nearly non-functioning legs pretty much means that every time he comes in, someone has to pull out the bucket to clean up the crapnel that inevitably results.

Sh1tty Magoo is an on again off again smack addict who manages to get straight whenever his social worker insists on piss tests. This being Baltimore, the tests are not administered nearly as regularly as one might want. As a result, he goes from being high and constipated to jonesing and explosively diarrheal. Every time we see him enter the bathroom scratching, we let everyone know to beware of colonateral damage.

Makes sense that if the gas station is Bartertown, then the restroom is Underworld.

Paleocon wrote:

They seem to be shooting an HBO movie across the street right now. It looks like the actress who played Elaine from sinefeld is directing. She stopped by and hit on my mechanic.

i was going to post that I'm hoping this thread becomes boring, because Paleo deserves a break and smooth sailing for a bit. This is better, because the thread still delivers, but without delivering bad sh*t to Paleo and his crew.

Paleocon wrote:

They seem to be shooting an HBO movie across the street right now. It looks like the actress who played Elaine from sinefeld is directing. She stopped by and hit on my mechanic.

Your mechanic, huh?

Yeah, that's right.

IMAGE(http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg185/DaniPayson/puddysmall.jpg)

Oso wrote:
Paleocon wrote:

They seem to be shooting an HBO movie across the street right now. It looks like the actress who played Elaine from sinefeld is directing. She stopped by and hit on my mechanic.

i was going to post that I'm hoping this thread becomes boring, because Paleo deserves a break and smooth sailing for a bit. This is better, because the thread still delivers, but without delivering bad sh*t to Paleo and his crew.

Actually, what I expect will happen is that the crew will eventually figure out that what's going on at the gas station is way more awesome than what they're shooting. They'll start filming the gas station activities instead and Kick Gas will become a reality.

So. Afternoon dude was half an hour late again today.

I don't give a sweaty rat's rectum what the others say. He's done. I'm whacking him at the next available opportunity.

Paleocon wrote:

They seem to be shooting an HBO movie across the street right now. It looks like the actress who played Elaine from sinefeld is directing. She stopped by and hit on my mechanic.

Actually, I hate that @#$@$%%!!!! song.

You can't hate Billy Joel! That's unpossible!!

Quintin_Stone wrote:

You can't hate Billy Joel! That's unpossible!!

Quintin_Stone wrote:

You can't hate Billy Joel! That's unpossible!!

I don't hate Billy Joel; I hate that era of Billy Joel. His piano-driven songs are great, his non-piano ones suck balls.

Back on-topic-ish: He needs to spend some time in the beatdown room for that song.

Ugh. Now it appears that one of my cashiers has managed to become the focus of an Indian phone bank driven fraud scam. And the fukkers are persistent. They keep calling and calling and calling demanding to talk with her despite the fact that she is not here. They demand her home phone number and keep saying that we can get in trouble for impeding their action.

This is how the last conversation went:

Indian Fraudster: Can I speak with Missy Rider (not her real name btw)
Me: Who is calling?
IF: We are trying to collect on a debt she owes (clearly not what a legitimate collection agent would tell anyone other than the debt holder)
Me: Really? Wow. Maybe you should try her at her other job. Her number is (providing number of the local office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Not where she works, but I thought it would be funny).
IF: Thank you.

Calls back moments later

IF: Can I speak with Missy Rider.
Me: Who is calling?
IF: We are trying to collect on a debt she owes.
Me: Really? Her other office just called and said to tell you to go fcuk yourself.
IF: And who are you, sir?
Me: I'm her boss.
IF: And what is your name?
Me: Fcuk you. That's my name.
IF: I am trying to collect a debt.
Me: I'm sure you are. And if you would like to do so in person, you can find me at .....
IF: You are impeding a legal action. You can get in lots of trouble.
Me: Then call the fcuking cops. You know where to find me.
IF: I am trying to be civil.
Me: And I'm clearly not, so call the fcuking cops or stop wasting my time.

There is a world of cash, prizes, fame and NSA flange waiting for you in the world of blogging, Paleo.

Your life should be a blog. It would be bigger than anything I can think of.

I have Korean cousins that are taking a stab at owning a business and pursuing the American Dream. I wish they had the common sense contained merely in your little finger.

Can I make a comic about this?

Paleocon wrote:

So. Afternoon dude was half an hour late again today.

I don't give a sweaty rat's rectum what the others say. He's done. I'm whacking him at the next available opportunity.

You may want to rephrase.

clover wrote:

Can I make a comic about this?

Maybe I should start a cartoonist contest on my upcoming blog.

This thread continues to deliver. It may well be the most epic thread I have witnessed during my GWJ tenure.

Paleocon wrote:
clover wrote:

Can I make a comic about this?

Maybe I should start a cartoonist contest on my upcoming blog.

Eh, never mind then. I don't do spec.

I can't imagine why anyone would want to own a business.

Quintin_Stone wrote:

I can't imagine why anyone would want to own a business. :lol:

The stories.

Quintin_Stone wrote:

I can't imagine why anyone would want to own a business. :lol:

He's creating jobs!

Paleo, they might actually be debt collectors. Try the magic words: "This is a place of business. You are instructed to cease all calls to this number immediately." If the calls continue, and they're really collectors, you can really make their lives miserable.

Scammers usually aren't that persistent.

Malor wrote:

Paleo, they might actually be debt collectors. Try the magic words: "This is a place of business. You are instructed to cease all calls to this number immediately." If the calls continue, and they're really collectors, you can really make their lives miserable.

Scammers usually aren't that persistent.

Real debt collectors are prohibited by federal law from detailing the nature and amount of the debt to anyone other than the debt holder. These folks have been tossing crap around like crazy.

And yes, I have told them that it is a place of business and that they were instructed to cease all calls. They simply responded with abuse and threats of legal action against me. To that, I simply responded "Bring it on you ignorant bastards. If you honestly think you have a case against me, give it your best shot.". That and I made some crack about the caller's mail order law degree from the the University of I Don't Know Sh1t.

Mostly, now, I'm just playing that old Super Troopers game "repeat" with them until they hang up.