So one of my employees almost got locked up.

Dr.Ghastly wrote:
Paleocon wrote:

Anyway. I stuck around running the register until the girl arrived. That was right around 10pm. She was talking on the cell phone when she got out of the car, but ended her conversation and hung up. She had an armful of packages, so I went for the door to help her. She was wearing a skirt and didn't have any pockets to put her phone in, so instead, she just rested it right on top of her boobs. Not between. On top of. And no, it didn't slip off.

She just casually walked in like she does this all the time, dropped off her stuff in the booth and started going into the details of how her apartment was full of cops, that she needs a new tv, and how she needs the neighbors to move out.... all the while there is a massive Android phone resting on her right boob.

I'm trying hard not to stare or make like this is an odd thing, but it is simply impossible to listen to a word she's saying while this cell phone is jiggling up and down.

Finally, I just say "Great. Now get to work. I'm off to the gym.".

This morning, the morning shift girl said something about the night girl thinking I was kind of mean.

Pics or it didn't happen.

She's not hot. She just has huge boobs.

I was talking to her sister this morning about how odd that was. She replied "oh, that's nothing. She'll put a sandwich up there while she'd driving".

/me hopes she leaves it on vibrate.

Edit: The phone. Not the sandwich.

It's too bad that the classic movie voice-over guy is dead. He would have made an awesome narrator for your series. Maybe Sam Elliot needs work?

Mixolyde wrote:

/me hopes she leaves it on vibrate.

Edit: The phone. Not the sandwich.

It's too bad that the classic movie voice-over guy is dead. He would have made an awesome narrator for your series. Maybe Sam Elliot needs work?

I was thinking Peter Coyote.

Episode 43: Sandwich on vibrate

boogle wrote:

Episode 43: Sandwich on vibrate

I was thinking "Not the droids you're looking for", personally.

Gonna have to give this one to Keldar.

Between Goth-geek girl and Rest-stuff-on-boob girl, I call a vote for a Slap & Tickle at Paleo's gas station.

Nevin73 wrote:

Between Goth-geek girl and Rest-stuff-on-boob girl, I call a vote for a Slap & Tickle at Paleo's gas station.

But remember to bring your own shiv.

KrazyTacoFO wrote:
Nevin73 wrote:

Between Goth-geek girl and Rest-stuff-on-boob girl, I call a vote for a Slap & Tickle at Paleo's gas station.

But remember to bring your own squeegee.

FTFY

Either way, I'm sure that Paleo, as a proper host, would give out squeegees and kukris for all guests.

Episode 44: S&T

IMAGE(http://img809.imageshack.us/img809/2407/shiv.png)

KrazyTacoFO wrote:
Nevin73 wrote:

Either way, I'm sure that Paleo, as a proper host, would give out squeegees and kukris for all guests.

IMAGE(http://img809.imageshack.us/img809/2407/shiv.png)

That does it. I'm adding this thread to the commandments.

I envision Paleo creating the new shivgee, which allows homeless people to bum-fight at stoplights for the right to clean off your windshield.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

I envision Paleo creating the new shivgee, which allows homeless people to bum-fight at stoplights for the right to clean off your windshield.

Why oh why are you not running for office?

I have a friend who does that with her phone. She keeps a lot of other stuff in her bra, too. Never figured that one out, but it's not something I've ever asked her about.

Just so long as it's not sweaty.

Jonman wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

I envision Paleo creating the new shivgee, which allows homeless people to bum-fight at stoplights for the right to clean off your windshield.

Why oh why are you not running for office?

Seriously, the shivgee is perhaps the greatest invention of our times. Melees will break out at intersections, with buckets serving as helms and signs as shields. Motorists will roar their approval as the combatants strive against each other in the middle of an intersection adorned with the Mr. Clean logo. And on the corner, Paleo will stand beneath the canopy of his might gas-fortress, goth-geek girl draped on his arm, waving a kukri shouting "Are you not entertained?!"

TWO BUMS ENTER, ONE BUM CLEANS! TWO BUMS ENTER, ONE BUM CLEANS!

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

TWO BUMS ENTER, ONE BUM CLEANS! TWO BUMS ENTER, ONE BUM CLEANS!

I just laughed so hard someone walking by my office stopped in to make sure I was okay.

wordsmythe wrote:

Just so long as it's not sweaty.

Why do you think it doesn't slide?

Coldstream wrote:
Jonman wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

I envision Paleo creating the new shivgee, which allows homeless people to bum-fight at stoplights for the right to clean off your windshield.

Why oh why are you not running for office?

Seriously, the shivgee is perhaps the greatest invention of our times. Melees will break out at intersections, with buckets serving as helms and signs as shields. Motorists will roar their approval as the combatants strive against each other in the middle of an intersection adorned with the Mr. Clean logo. And on the corner, Paleo will stand beneath the canopy of his might gas-fortress, goth-geek girl draped on his arm, waving a kukri shouting "Are you not entertained?!"

Once again it comes back to the post-apocalyptic Paleodome.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

TWO BUMS ENTER, ONE BUM CLEANS! TWO BUMS ENTER, ONE BUM CLEANS!

That's the best thing I've read all week.

Did I mention that the weekend girl is a parole and probation agent?

Coldstream wrote:
Jonman wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

I envision Paleo creating the new shivgee, which allows homeless people to bum-fight at stoplights for the right to clean off your windshield.

Why oh why are you not running for office?

Seriously, the shivgee is perhaps the greatest invention of our times. Melees will break out at intersections, with buckets serving as helms and signs as shields. Motorists will roar their approval as the combatants strive against each other in the middle of an intersection adorned with the Mr. Clean logo. And on the corner, Paleo will stand beneath the canopy of his might gas-fortress, goth-geek girl draped on his arm, waving a kukri shouting "Are you not entertained?!"

IMAGE(http://img836.imageshack.us/img836/5125/entertained.png)

It's been a slow day and I like MS Paint.

If this thread wasn't worthy of the Commandments before, it sure as hell is now.

Gravey wrote:

Once again it comes back to the post-apocalyptic Paleodome.

Some call it Baltimore, but we know the city's true name: Bartertown. And Paleo is the King of Bartertown.

A used to frequent the forum of a comic book shop. A kid tried to nick some stuff, so they asked readers for punishment suggestions, in lieu of taking him to the cops. I asked for a squegee to be taped to a bicycle helmet and then have the kid clean windows with his head. Unfortunately the owners didn't have time to sort it out, but at least I was acknowledged.

IMAGE(http://www.steelgirl.com/images/idgafkid.JPG)

Coldstream wrote:

If this thread wasn't worthy of the Commandments before, it sure as hell is now.

Pretty sure it's been worth for the last 10 pages. This one was gold before it started.

The brother in law announced that he was moving into an apartment complex off North Avenue so he can be closer to work. I looked up the location, pulled up the crime blotter for the last two weeks, and sent it via email to my wife.

He is no longer moving into the apartment complex.