So one of my employees almost got locked up.

I spent ten years in Pikesville, Leaping. In the 70's, to be precise.

Reaper81 wrote:
Well, when society inevitably collapses and civilization descends into Road Warrior- style anarchy, I shall form a convoy composed of my friends, family members, and former army buddies and we shall head east.

Using your modest service station as a base of operations, we shall slowly bring order to the East Coast. It will be a brave new age of football padded, AR-wielding warrior poets crewing hillbilly armored mid-sized cars.

We will call this glorious new society Paleo-topia.

I'm in. Be sure to gather medical supplies on the way. Also, no promises, but I have some ideas for creating an army that involves corpses, automatic weapons, and lightning.

Robear wrote:
I spent ten years in Pikesville, Leaping. In the 70's, to be precise. :-)

Must look a lot different today with the paved roads and electricity and such.

Huh. I was just in Baltimore a couple weeks ago staying with a friend in... Charles Village I think? We should have had a beer.

Had a fun time hanging around the pier (Fells Point?) and checked out the aquarium. And also The Book Thing, which I think every city needs.

Coldstream wrote:
Reaper81 wrote:
Well, when society inevitably collapses and civilization descends into Road Warrior- style anarchy, I shall form a convoy composed of my friends, family members, and former army buddies and we shall head east.

Using your modest service station as a base of operations, we shall slowly bring order to the East Coast. It will be a brave new age of football padded, AR-wielding warrior poets crewing hillbilly armored mid-sized cars.

We will call this glorious new society Paleo-topia.

I'm in. Be sure to gather medical supplies on the way. Also, no promises, but I have some ideas for creating an army that involves corpses, automatic weapons, and lightning.

IMAGE(http://www.games-workshop.com/MEDIA_CustomProductCatalog/m1280314_99060108066_WHMissionaryChainswordMain_445x319.jpg)

EDIT:

FOR THE PALEO-MPEROR!

This idea just keeps getting better.

Please tell me that you have a really good security system.

I get so frustrated with gas stations around here. This city and county only have a couple robberies a year in convenience stores, and they never ever want to prosecute drive-offs, so they all invest in circa-1985 security cameras. There is virtually no usable evidence on them. You can't tell what a shirt said, even in huge writing. You can't tell minor facial features - did that dude have a goatee or did he just need to shave? That may be fine for the gas station, but when people rip off credit cards and then buy (I mean, just as an example ) $700 worth of cigarettes, there is often no way to get any usable evidence off them.

It's all fun and games and profit margin until a clerk gets hurt or killed, and the suspect looks as high res as the Doom marine (circa 1994).

We installed brand new security cams, larger storage capacity, and hooked it up to internet so we can monitor remotely. We also replaced all the canopy lights and removed all the window posters. We have bullet resistant glass around the booth, a holdup alarm, and e don't allow customers in after 10.

Oh, and I'm always packing.

sh*t man, even your employees are bad-ass.

So how many weapons do you have stashed around the station?

Baseball bat, box cutters, various hammers and wrenches, .357mag revolver, 12g pump gun, various kukris, and a 24" chainsaw.

Paleocon wrote:
Baseball bat, box cutters, various hammers and wrenches, .357mag revolver, 12g pump gun, various kukris, and a 24" chainsaw.

There will be no shenanigans in Paleo's station.

God help you if you ask for the restroom key.

Markly wrote:
Paleocon wrote:
Baseball bat, box cutters, various hammers and wrenches, .357mag revolver, 12g pump gun, various kukris, and a 24" chainsaw.

There will be no shenanigans in Paleo's station.

Here's hoping at least.

Two months ago I had a recently released felon from hagerstown prison announce he was hopped up on dust and ready two party.

I congratulated him and told him to go get a shirt on.

He stared at me for five seconds then went to his friend's car and got his shirt.

Paleocon wrote:
Baseball bat, box cutters, various hammers and wrenches, .357mag revolver, 12g pump gun, various kukris, and a 24" chainsaw.

A chainsaw, he says. I never knew gas station proprietorship was such serious business.

Nicholaas wrote:
Paleocon wrote:
Baseball bat, box cutters, various hammers and wrenches, .357mag revolver, 12g pump gun, various kukris, and a 24" chainsaw.

A chainsaw, he says. I never knew gas station proprietorship was such serious business.

For zombies of course.

The list actually reads like what you would expect to find lying around a gas station in a zombie video game where you are forced to stop and fuel up that cargo van you took from the mall parking lot.

Nevin73 wrote:
God help you if you forget to return the restroom key.

FTFY

So is your gas station kind of like "The Wire"?

Markly wrote:
Paleocon wrote:
Baseball bat, box cutters, various hammers and wrenches, .357mag revolver, 12g pump gun, various kukris, and a 24" chainsaw.

There will be no shenanigans in Paleo's station.

Anyone else wishing they could see the convenience store scene in Falling Down playing out in Paleo's gas station?

Winner: Tamika. Round 1 - TKO via Rear-Naked Choke.

Nevin73 wrote:
Nicholaas wrote:
Paleocon wrote:
Baseball bat, box cutters, various hammers and wrenches, .357mag revolver, 12g pump gun, various kukris, and a 24" chainsaw.

A chainsaw, he says. I never knew gas station proprietorship was such serious business.

For zombies of course.

Sounds like a zombie invasion would be a welcome change against the scum of the earth he's dealing with now.

Good luck Paleo.

Edit: Oh, and no mo-hawk for me... My hair is falling out on top, I'd just be pretty much bald if I shaved down the sides.

Paleo, when the chips are down, I hope we end up on the same side.

As scary as your petrol station sounds to work at I have to say I'm impressed by your self defense teaching skills. I hope your employee isn't too shaken up by these events.

Paleocon wrote:
Baseball bat, box cutters, various hammers and wrenches, .357mag revolver, 12g pump gun, various kukris, and a 24" chainsaw.

What, no Carl Gustav?

LightBender wrote:
Paleocon wrote:
Baseball bat, box cutters, various hammers and wrenches, .357mag revolver, 12g pump gun, various kukris, and a 24" chainsaw.

What, no Carl Gustav? :)

It's a petrol station. Those Hollywood explosions, that's last years profit going up in smoke.

There will be a Paleo-topia colony here on my island. A safe haven for those wanting shelter, rice, and mohawks.

Nicholaas wrote:
Paleocon wrote:
Baseball bat, box cutters, various hammers and wrenches, .357mag revolver, 12g pump gun, various kukris, and a 24" chainsaw.

A chainsaw, he says. I never knew gas station proprietorship was such serious business.

The simple explanation is that we have a lot of mature trees around the station that needed pruning. We also have a table saw for doing light carpentry (installing slatwall and other things). We also have assorted prybars, irons, and other blunt force weapons. But the one I keep eyeing whenever I think about improvised weapons is the simple tire plug tool.

IMAGE(http://www.etoolcart.com/ProductImages/amflo/AMF15-225.jpg)

NSMike wrote:
The list actually reads like what you would expect to find lying around a gas station in a zombie video game where you are forced to stop and fuel up that cargo van you took from the mall parking lot.

You should see the other Korean station owners. After L.A., there isn't a single Korean owned business that isn't armed like they're getting ready for Gears of War.

Agent 86 wrote:
Markly wrote:
Paleocon wrote:
Baseball bat, box cutters, various hammers and wrenches, .357mag revolver, 12g pump gun, various kukris, and a 24" chainsaw.

There will be no shenanigans in Paleo's station.

Anyone else wishing they could see the convenience store scene in Falling Down playing out in Paleo's gas station?

Funny you should mention that. My mentor in this business is an elderly Korean dude from Cholla-do (sort of Korea's version of Sicily. It's pretty much where the Japanese Yakuza go to recruit enforcers.). He looks like a stiff wind could blow him over, but he has multiple black belts including ones in Judo and Hapkido. He owns a station between the welfare office and a halfway house.

I noticed one day that all of his employees looked like they came from the South Asian Subcontinent. I figured they were Indian or Pakistani since that's where many convenience store owners come from. Turns out I was very, very wrong. Turns out he only hired Koreans and Ghurkas.

Paleocon wrote:
Turns out he only hired Koreans and Ghurkas.

I want this to be the basis for an action-comedy movie.

One convenience-store employee would be the son of a decorated war hero from the Gurkha Regiments. The father would be disappointed in his son until he discovers, via a huge action sequence, that their jobs are a lot more similar than he'd ever imagined.

Agent 86 wrote:
Markly wrote:
Paleocon wrote:
Baseball bat, box cutters, various hammers and wrenches, .357mag revolver, 12g pump gun, various kukris, and a 24" chainsaw.

There will be no shenanigans in Paleo's station.

Anyone else wishing they could see the convenience store scene in Falling Down playing out in Paleo's gas station?

I was thinking that was going to turn into a Clerks reference.

Meanwhile, I sort of worry about shenanigans that the employees might start. I'm sure Papa Paleo keeps things on a tight leash.

misplacedbravado wrote:
Paleocon wrote:
Turns out he only hired Koreans and Ghurkas.

I want this to be the basis for an action-comedy movie.

One convenience-store employee would be the son of a decorated war hero from the Gurkha Regiments. The father would be disappointed in his son until he discovers, via a huge action sequence, that their jobs are a lot more similar than he'd ever imagined.

Talk about truth imitating fiction. One of his employees was a Nepalese television star prior to getting married and moving to the states. Not action though. Purely soap opera stuff.