So one of my employees almost got locked up.

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Okay. Some of you folks may know my wife and I bought a gas station. Some might know that dealing with the drama of an inner city ghetto station in the middle of the murder capital of the nation (Baltimore) has been, well, dramatic.

Yesterday, it came to a surprising head.

One of my cashiers (let's call her Tamika though that isn't even close to her real name) is a semipro athlete on a travel team and has this boyfriend problem. He's thuggish, possessive, and just plain odd. Think drug dealing stalker type. He doesn't like that she goes out of town a lot and tends to hover around work all the time. I've told her I didn't want him around the station while she's working and she mostly listens to me, but made the valid point that she can't really control what he does.

About a month ago, we had some problems in the neighborhood with someone holding up other gas stations, so I held a clinic in the store about how to be mindful of your surroundings, not opening the door at night, making sure to walk one another to the parking lot, and how to properly execute some basic self defense techniques as a last resort.

So, yesterday, she called in saying that she'd be a couple hours late. She had some things she needed to take care of and that another one of the cashiers said she'd cover it. I wasn't happy because I don't like unauthorized changes in routines and told her that we'd need to discuss this when she got in.

When she got in, she had a shiner, a fat lip, and scratches on her neck. I knew instantly what had happened. And any desire I had to chew her out just dissipated. I asked her if she was okay and she said she was.

Apparently, what happened was that she was over at his house when he demanded to look through her cell phone log. She refused and he hauled off and hit her. She attempted to protect herself, but he threw her on the bed and attempted to wrestle the phone from her. She responded by taking his back and executing a perfect rear naked choke. Six seconds later, he was unconscious on the floor. I did mention she's an athlete, right?

She freaked out, of course, and got her things and got ready to go. He came to at that point and threatened to call the cops on her. She invited him to do that and ran out the door and out to the street. There she waited for the cops to arrive.

When they did, they asked her if she had called 911. She answered truthfully that she hadn't and the policewoman put her in cuffs. When the cop noticed that she had been beaten pretty badly, he demeanor changed and her partner ended up dragging the thug out of his apartment. After a 20 minute conversation about how the events went down, they took the cuffs off her, called her mom (a Pentacostal preacher) and waited for her mom to show up (I suppose figuring that that would be worse than a night on ice).

Anyway, now the thug has a restraining order on him and a 2nd degree assault charge. The cops ratfcuked the apartment and found minor drug possession evidence, and an unlicensed weapon. In any other city, I might find this all encouraging, but this is Baltimore.

Marvy.

I didn't know about your business venture. That's gonna be some serious drama. Good luck.

Pretty good take-down for a beginner.

Robear wrote:

Pretty good take-down for a beginner. :-)

I told her to take less damage on the way in next time. She gave me the indignant black girl face.

Off topic, but why did you choose to run a petrol station in that area? Is it going to make more money because there aren't that many competitors around? Was it too expensive to get one on the, presumably safer and more pleasant, outskirts of the city?

1Dgaf wrote:

Off topic, but why did you choose to run a petrol station in that area? Is it going to make more money because there aren't that many competitors around? Was it too expensive to get one on the, presumably safer and more pleasant, outskirts of the city?

A combination of all of the above. The traffic numbers indicate significant upside potential while the low asking price lowered the barrier to entry. The risk is all personal and Koreans make a practice of not factoring in personal risk. The financial upside looks pretty certain.

Love it that she incapacitates the boyfriend, but the cops call her mother on her.

Oh Paleocon, you so crazy.

Cod wrote:

Love it that she incapacitates the boyfriend, but the cops call her mother on her.

If you knew her mom, you'd know why.

My parents were in the gas business in the 80-90's, and made huge bank. Not working now and still living off that money. It's a ton of work but It can certainly pay off, good luck!

Barab wrote:

My parents were in the gas business in the 80-90's, and made huge bank. Not working now and still living off that money. It's a ton of work but It can certainly pay off, good luck!

It's not glamorous, but I'm hoping it gives me the breathing space and material to write a book of humorous anecdotes.

Paleocon wrote:
Barab wrote:

My parents were in the gas business in the 80-90's, and made huge bank. Not working now and still living off that money. It's a ton of work but It can certainly pay off, good luck!

It's not glamorous, but I'm hoping it gives me the breathing space and material to write a book of humorous anecdotes.

Chapter 1 seems to be done...

Well, when society inevitably collapses and civilization descends into Road Warrior- style anarchy, I shall form a convoy composed of my friends, family members, and former army buddies and we shall head east.

Using your modest service station as a base of operations, we shall slowly bring order to the East Coast. It will be a brave new age of football padded, AR-wielding warrior poets crewing hillbilly armored mid-sized cars.

We will call this glorious new society Paleo-topia.

Reaper81 wrote:

Well, when society inevitably collapses and civilization descends into Road Warrior- style anarchy, I shall form a convoy composed of my friends, family members, and former army buddies and we shall head east.

Using your modest service station as a base of operations, we shall slowly bring order to the East Coast. It will be a brave new age of football padded, AR-wielding warrior poets crewing hillbilly armored mid-sized cars.

We will call this glorious new society Paleo-topia.

Baltimore could use this now. And D.C.

Reaper81 wrote:

Well, when society inevitably collapses and civilization descends into Road Warrior- style anarchy, I shall form a convoy composed of my friends, family members, and former army buddies and we shall head east.

Using your modest service station as a base of operations, we shall slowly bring order to the East Coast. It will be a brave new age of football padded, AR-wielding warrior poets crewing hillbilly armored mid-sized cars.

We will call this glorious new society Paleo-topia.

3 cheers!

I'm totally sold on Paleo-topia. We should outline our plans now.

Thin_J wrote:

I'm totally sold on Paleo-topia. We should outline our plans now.

IMAGE(http://www.mcclaneonline.com/blog/Weird_Science_Guy.jpg)

Reaper81 wrote:

Well, when society inevitably collapses and civilization descends into Road Warrior- style anarchy, I shall form a convoy composed of my friends, family members, and former army buddies and we shall head east.

Using your modest service station as a base of operations, we shall slowly bring order to the East Coast. It will be a brave new age of football padded, mohawked, AR-wielding warrior poets crewing hillbilly armored mid-sized cars.

We will call this glorious new society Paleo-topia.

minor fix.

Paleocon wrote:
Reaper81 wrote:

Well, when society inevitably collapses and civilization descends into Road Warrior- style anarchy, I shall form a convoy composed of my friends, family members, and former army buddies and we shall head east.

Using your modest service station as a base of operations, we shall slowly bring order to the East Coast. It will be a brave new age of football padded, mohawked, AR-wielding warrior poets crewing hillbilly armored mid-sized cars.

We will call this glorious new society Paleo-topia.

minor fix.

The great Paleocon has spoken! Shave the sides of your head!

What part of Baltimore? I spent a few years in Pikesville/Mt Washington.

Paleocon wrote:

It's not glamorous, but I'm hoping it gives me the breathing space and material to write a book of humorous anecdotes.

Is it too early to pre-order the multi-volume series about parking violators? I hope it has pictures!

LeapingGnome wrote:

What part of Baltimore? I spent a few years in Pikesville/Mt Washington.

Just south of Hampden.

Yeah I can see that, but can also see it being a good area for a gas station/convenience store too. Kind of crappy commute from Columbia though or are you the kind of one-day-a-week owner?

Damn, good for her. Where can I subscribe for more drafts of your book?

Thin_J wrote:

I'm totally sold on Paleo-topia. We should outline our plans now.

IF Society collapses THEN:

1. Get guns.
2. Get friends.
2a. Get mohawks.
3. Give guns to friends.
4. Get cars.
5. Put friends with guns in cars.
6. -----> Baltimore
7. PALEO-TOPIA.

LeapingGnome wrote:

Kind of crappy commute from Columbia though or are you the kind of one-day-a-week owner?

Bleh. I hated commuting from Catonsville into the city. Columbia into the city would drive me even more insane.

Reaper81 wrote:

Well, when society inevitably collapses and civilization descends into Road Warrior- style anarchy, I shall form a convoy composed of my friends, family members, and former army buddies and we shall head east.

Using your modest service station as a base of operations, we shall slowly bring order to the East Coast. It will be a brave new age of football padded, AR-wielding warrior poets crewing hillbilly armored mid-sized cars.

We will call this glorious new society Paleo-topia.

I guess I oughta join, then.

LeapingGnome wrote:

Yeah I can see that, but can also see it being a good area for a gas station/convenience store too. Kind of crappy commute from Columbia though or are you the kind of one-day-a-week owner?

Nope. I'm pretty much there every morning. I think the reason the previous owner sold it was because he lost the will to come in on a regular basis and was getting robbed blind by his cashiers. Half the frustration from the job has been catching folks on videotape stealing and whacking them for it.

The other half has been running off the crackheads that panhandle patrons for change, claim to have lost money in the vacuum machine when they don't even have cars, or steal my squeegies so they can ambush motorists at red lights.

BTW, in a city that is overwhelmingly black, on a road named after a slain black civil rights leader (MLK blvd), why is it that all the panhandlers are white? They all look like different variations of homeless Jesus (bushy beards and moustaches). Near the stadiums, you have Skinny Jesus (notable because he looks like he just got sprung from Bergen Belsen). Near the Medical Center you have Cripple Jesus (because he has no legs and wheels himself around in a wheelchair). Near the Research Center you have Fake Cripple Jesus (who pretends to have a limp, but doesn't limp when he's trying to get out of traffic).

Reaper81 wrote:
Thin_J wrote:

I'm totally sold on Paleo-topia. We should outline our plans now.

IF Society collapses THEN:

1. Get guns.
2. Get friends.
2a. Get mohawks.
3. Give guns to friends.
4. Get cars.
5. Put friends with guns in cars.
6. -----> Baltimore
7. PALEO-TOPIA.

Cut of your jib, newsletter, etc.

Shortcut me straight to step 2a

I was going to go with a Klokateer as my costume for Halloween, but I'm now strongly considering a Mad Max bad guy.

I request to be paleotopias ambassador to the sunset lands, west of the great river mississippi.

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