"Bet you can't make a film based on Battleship."

SpacePPoliceman wrote:
Gravey wrote:

Here's what I don't get.

When you're doing something as stupid and lazy as making a movie based off Battleship, you take the stupidest, laziest path, and in this case, that's emulating Bay's Transformers as much as you can. Hence, modern day, aliens.

Yeah, they're pretty much just ripping off Transformers. Even down to the military sponsorship: Army gets Transformers, Navy gets Battleship. It'd probably be a much better movie if they made it red-fleet vs. blue-fleet, but that wouldn't let them set it in the real world. So aliens, ironically, let them make it more realistic.

Gremlin wrote:
SpacePPoliceman wrote:
Gravey wrote:

Here's what I don't get.

When you're doing something as stupid and lazy as making a movie based off Battleship, you take the stupidest, laziest path, and in this case, that's emulating Bay's Transformers as much as you can. Hence, modern day, aliens.

Yeah, they're pretty much just ripping off Transformers. Even down to the military sponsorship: Army gets Transformers, Navy gets Battleship. It'd probably be a much better movie if they made it red-fleet vs. blue-fleet, but that wouldn't let them set it in the real world. So aliens, ironically, let them make it more realistic.

Okay, so how about a training exercise gone wrong when the red fleet turns out to be commanded and crewed by a supervillain and his henchmen and only the blue fleet can stop them? Boom, there's another one, for free.

Gravey wrote:

Okay, so how about a training exercise gone wrong when the red fleet turns out to be commanded and crewed by a supervillain and his henchmen and only the blue fleet can stop them? Boom, there's another one, for free.

It won't be nearly that involved, and there'll be three times as many of 'em.

Saw this a couple of weeks ago. I'll be honest, it wasn't as horrific as I expected.

They got around the fact that battleships are obsolete and setup the grid and game board up in clever if laboured ways.

The actual plot and acting are terrible, but no worse than most other blockbusters.

I'd say it's a rental if all copies of The Avengers are out.

MrDeVil909 wrote:

I'd say it's a rental if all copies of The Avengers are out.

Normally, i'd agree, but I think that comes with the caveat "ONLY IF YOU OWN A BLU-RAY PLAYER AND A BIG-SCREEN TV". Some movies are clearly made to be watched in a theater, or the closest approximation, and this is one of them.

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/TZM6F.jpg)

On Angry Birds: "Soon to be a major motion picture."

On Discworld: "Sorry nerds."

Grenn wrote:
Maq wrote:

Clue 2: Electric Boogaloo

Clue was fantastic.

The last line of the third ending is probably my favorite last line in any movie.

The novelization is already on B&N shelves. Written by Peter David.

Quintin_Stone wrote:

The novelization is already on B&N shelves. Written by Peter David.

4/5 on Amazon to boot!

I can't wait to see what they do with the Scrabble movie!

shoptroll wrote:

I can't wait to see what they do with the Scrabble movie!

Screw that. I want Perfection.

No...wait. Michael Bay's Fireball Island.

Yeah.

shoptroll wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:

The novelization is already on B&N shelves. Written by Peter David.

4/5 on Amazon to boot!

I can't wait to see what they do with the Scrabble movie!

From 1 review.

To be fair, I really like David's work.

Board Game Geek has a list of Hasbro-published games. Let's see what looks...interesting. Ignoring licenced stuff, because I don't think even George Lucas is going to subject us to a film based on Star Wars: The Queen's Gambit (other than the one he already did, I mean). Hasbro is presumably more interested in exploiting their well-known back catalog, rather than obscure recently published stuff.

So, of the not-yet-mentioned possible films, we've got such illustrious possibilities as Risk Legacy. Boggle. Stratego. Scattergories. Trivial Pursuit. Yahtzee. Jenga.

Hmm. It may just be that clicking past a zillion versions of Monopoly (The .com edition! The heirloom edition!) has temporarily disabled my better judgement. But a Jenga movie is easy! All we have to do is cross it with Dread. See, the players find a haunted Jenga set! Every time the tower falls, one of the players dies horribly and the tower restacks itself. If the players refuse to play, they are slowly driven insane. At the climax, the US Marine Core takes out the Jenga set with a tactical nuclear weapon.

I'm pretty sure Hasbro will be all over this one.

Gremlin wrote:

At the climax, the US Marine Corps takes out the Jenga set with a tactical nuclear weapon.

Tsk tsk!

Hey gang, guess who's not having such a hot time at the box office!
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/...

The icing on the cake: Universal parent company Com-frickin'-cast, one of the biggest crybabies in the net neutrality/piracy flap, is taking a financial hit for putting out crappy, unimaginative entertainment that nobody wants to see.

(Yeah, I know it won't hurt them too badly long-term. Don't spoil my schadenfreude.)

Last night on syfy - American Warships.

Alien ships with cloak are trying to start a world war and only the USS Iowa (a battleship) can save the day!

karmajay wrote:

Last night on syfy - American Warships.

Alien ships with cloak are trying to start a world war and only the USS Iowa (a battleship) can save the day!

It's really a skill unto itself that they're able to make these topically.

Speedhuntr wrote:
karmajay wrote:

Last night on syfy - American Warships.

Alien ships with cloak are trying to start a world war and only the USS Iowa (a battleship) can save the day!

It's really a skill unto itself that they're able to make these topically.

Carl Weathers *and* Mario Van Peebles in the same film!?! That's sure sign of quality entertainment!

Gravey wrote:

On Angry Birds: "Soon to be a major motion picture."

On Discworld: "Sorry nerds."

Would you settle for an ongoing BBC tv series?

Quintin_Stone wrote:
shoptroll wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:

The novelization is already on B&N shelves. Written by Peter David.

4/5 on Amazon to boot!

I can't wait to see what they do with the Scrabble movie!

From 1 review.

To be fair, I really like David's work.

Yeah, that actually makes me far more interested in the novelization than the movie.

Speedhuntr wrote:

It's really a skill unto itself that they're able to make these topically.

"Carl Weathers and Mario Van Peebles?! You never see that sort of casting in rip-offs of rip-offs! This one must be extra special."

OG_slinger wrote:

Carl Weathers *and* Mario Van Peebles in the same film!?! That's sure sign of quality entertainment! :-)

ianunderhill wrote:

"Carl Weathers and Mario Van Peebles?! You never see that sort of casting in rip-offs of rip-offs! This one must be extra special."

You guys should hang out.

OG_slinger wrote:
Speedhuntr wrote:
karmajay wrote:

Last night on syfy - American Warships.

Alien ships with cloak are trying to start a world war and only the USS Iowa (a battleship) can save the day!

It's really a skill unto itself that they're able to make these topically.

Carl Weathers *and* Mario Van Peebles in the same film!?! That's sure sign of quality entertainment! :-)

Priceless.

Quintin_Stone wrote:
OG_slinger wrote:
Speedhuntr wrote:
karmajay wrote:

Last night on syfy - American Warships.

Alien ships with cloak are trying to start a world war and only the USS Iowa (a battleship) can save the day!

It's really a skill unto itself that they're able to make these topically.

Carl Weathers *and* Mario Van Peebles in the same film!?! That's sure sign of quality entertainment! :-)

Priceless.

When Mario said "You're not gonna sink my battleship" I lost it.

Also, while I was watching this piece of genius, a commercial for a video game comes on, and for some weird reason I'm thinking to myself 'I wonder if they made a battleship videogame, and isn't battleship already a game' and when the the commercial for the bad Halo knock off ends, what is it? Battleship the video game.

Costontine wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:
OG_slinger wrote:
Speedhuntr wrote:
karmajay wrote:

Last night on syfy - American Warships.

Alien ships with cloak are trying to start a world war and only the USS Iowa (a battleship) can save the day!

It's really a skill unto itself that they're able to make these topically.

Carl Weathers *and* Mario Van Peebles in the same film!?! That's sure sign of quality entertainment! :-)

Priceless.

When Mario said "You're not gonna sink my battleship" I lost it.

Also, while I was watching this piece of genius, a commercial for a video game comes on, and for some weird reason I'm thinking to myself 'I wonder if they made a battleship videogame, and isn't battleship already a game' and when the the commercial for the bad Halo knock off ends, what is it? Battleship the video game.

http://www.giantbomb.com/quick-look-...

It doesn't look as awful as expected.

Speedhuntr wrote:

You guys should hang out.

What? Sorry, couldn't hear you over the rope I was just tossing over the rafters to hang myself in shame. ***spits***

Costontine wrote:

When Mario said "You're not gonna sink my battleship" I lost it.

If they could do that here, why the hell didn't their Thor knock-off have Loki telling the God of Thunder he looked marvelous?

Costontine wrote:

Also, while I was watching this piece of genius, a commercial for a video game comes on, and for some weird reason I'm thinking to myself 'I wonder if they made a battleship videogame, and isn't battleship already a game' and when the the commercial for the bad Halo knock off ends, what is it? Battleship the video game.

There's only one last piece missing in that puzzle: a naval contractor who sees the video game and is inspired to lead development on the next big breakthrough in naval warships—the battleship, based on the video game based on the movie based on the board game.

Finally saw this. It was pants-on-head retarded. Plenty of boomsplosions, but nothing that happened made a lick of sense.

So it met all your expectations?