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I must agree with your advice for the gentleman with what is commonly known as Yellow Fever; proclaiming yourself attracted to a wide group of people for a shallow, physical reason is no way to live. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the redhead thread to speculate on attractive women with red hair.

KaterinLHC wrote:

In this week's Love FAQ, I discuss male eating disorders, changing your appearance for someone else, and what to do when you're an otaku:

Love FAQ: Beauty Isn't Just Pixel-Deep

I've read all your columns and normally find them quite good, but I just wanted to post and say that your advice re: Eating Disorders was particularly excellent. Do you have a background in counseling or therapy?

Also, I found this little bit especially funny:

Sincerely,
Not An Otaku, Really

Dear Otaku,

Dysplastic wrote:
KaterinLHC wrote:

In this week's Love FAQ, I discuss male eating disorders, changing your appearance for someone else, and what to do when you're an otaku:

Love FAQ: Beauty Isn't Just Pixel-Deep

I've read all your columns and normally find them quite good, but I just wanted to post and say that your advice re: Eating Disorders was particularly excellent. Do you have a background in counseling or therapy?

No, although thank you, I appreciate the compliment. I try to help, I really do.

My answers come not from any formal training but just my own experience and opinion, buffed by research as needed (like the ED response -- I don't have the hotline on my contacts list, you know?) I get so many letters -- seriously, my "active emails" document is now over 120 pages long -- that I have the freedom to pick letters that speak to my experience or that have stories I have an immediate personal reaction to. To even the most whackadoo letters I try to find some personal connection, however small or superficial it might be.

Also, I found this little bit especially funny:

Sincerely,
Not An Otaku, Really

Dear Otaku,

I admit nothing.

The otaku was a bit sad. I'm assuming his letter wasn't *too* edited, but his fetishizing came across as the bad/creepy kind, where you objectify women before you ever get to know them. +1 on the great advice to the guy with the eating disorder.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

I must agree with your advice for the gentleman with what is commonly known as Yellow Fever; proclaiming yourself attracted to a wide group of people for a shallow, physical reason is no way to live. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the redhead thread to speculate on attractive women with red hair.

Internet high-five!

I do love your last bit of advice in the article, Kat. I wish more people would understand how that works. Plus, it ties in nicely with the last line in the ED letter advice.

Great advice for the otaku. He is absolutely fetishizing Asians. MilkmanDanimal is right about comparing be attracted to Asians with being attracted to redheads—if it's just the physical features that you find attractive. But certainly not if it's exclusive of every other differently-featured person out there, no matter what they're really like as, you know, individuals.

And, since I believe he's fetishizing, I can't for a moment imagine he hasn't wrapped up cultural or behavioural expectations and stereotypes into his target group: that they will also love video games, anime, cosplay, keeping toys on the dashboards of their Hondas, being quiet and submissive, want to eat sushi (or whatever he considers "East Asian food") all the time. That's the unsettling and downright wrong aspect of his perceived attraction.

Baka~!! ‎(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Good on the eating disorders one.

I just stumbled across this. Excellent job Kat. I must tune in more often

Gravey wrote:

Great advice for the otaku. He is absolutely fetishizing Asians. MilkmanDanimal is right about comparing be attracted to Asians with being attracted to redheads—if it's just the physical features that you find attractive. But certainly not if it's exclusive of every other differently-featured person out there, no matter what they're really like as, you know, individuals.

And, since I believe he's fetishizing, I can't for a moment imagine he hasn't wrapped up cultural or behavioural expectations and stereotypes into his target group: that they will also love video games, anime, cosplay, keeping toys on the dashboards of their Hondas, being quiet and submissive, want to eat sushi (or whatever he considers "East Asian food") all the time. That's the unsettling and downright wrong aspect of his perceived attraction.

Baka~!! ‎(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

I'm trying to come up with some oddly specific hodgepodge that justifies the whole "East Asian" repetition. Maybe he really digs Zen girls who ride horses in the Gobi and eat mostly kimchi.

Side note: Now I want to meet someone like that. She sounds like a fascinating friend.

Throat-singing noodle-stall running cybernetic samurai!

Think of it this way: If the roles were reversed, and a woman was only interested in you because of the shape of your eyes or the food you ate... wouldn't you be at least a little offended?

Depends on how hot she is.

Tanglebones wrote:

Throat-singing noodle-slinging cybernetic samurai!

Now that's got a ring to it. I want to see this movie.

In this week's Love FAQ, we take it back to school -- what to do when you're too confident for high school, when you're hot for teacher, and when some creeper won't stop posting pictures of spiders on your Facebook:

Love FAQ: Haters Gonna Hate, and Creepers Gonna Creep

KaterinLHC wrote:

In this week's Love FAQ, we take it back to school -- what to do when you're too confident for high school, when you're hot for teacher, and when some creeper won't stop posting pictures of spiders on your Facebook:

Love FAQ: Haters Gonna Hate, and Creepers Gonna Creep

That Creepers gonna Creep situation is a really tough one. That guy has no idea he's doing anything wrong. He absolutely thinks he's wooing this girl, and when she turns him down hard, he's going to take it extremely hard. That being said, you're right, she doesn't have any other option. There isn't any way to let him down easily, and he needs to be let down.

Hm. I read

Fantasize about her as much and as wantonly as you like - as long as it stays in your hand.

Still appropriate, though.

kaostheory wrote:

That Creepers gonna Creep situation is a really tough one. That guy has no idea he's doing anything wrong. He absolutely thinks he's wooing this girl, and when she turns him down hard, he's going to take it extremely hard.

I don't think it's that tough to figure out. Possibly tough to implement if she doesn't want to hurt his feelings, but the correct course of action isn't difficult to fathom.

If Creeper's a frosh (and I'd bet he is), it's time for him to learn how grown-ups act.

I will now have Van Halen stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
Not bad, but dammit Lara!

Ugh. I hate spiders.

KaterinLHC wrote:

In this week's Love FAQ, we take it back to school -- what to do when you're too confident for high school, when you're hot for teacher, and when some creeper won't stop posting pictures of spiders on your Facebook:

Love FAQ: Haters Gonna Hate, and Creepers Gonna Creep

I completely disagree with your advice to Cleric... Stay away from Creepers! They get close to you and then just blow up for no apparent reason taking out everything and everyone around them. Stay away!

Geeks get a mulligan sometimes, but who the f*ck do you think you are putting your hand into my bag?

Ugh. +1 to "be a bitch".

Nosferatu wrote:
KaterinLHC wrote:

In this week's Love FAQ, we take it back to school -- what to do when you're too confident for high school, when you're hot for teacher, and when some creeper won't stop posting pictures of spiders on your Facebook:

Love FAQ: Haters Gonna Hate, and Creepers Gonna Creep

I completely disagree with your advice to Cleric... Stay away from Creepers! They get close to you and then just blow up for no apparent reason taking out everything and everyone around them. Stay away!

Uh, isn't that exactly what I told her to do? Cut off contact with him?

KaterinLHC wrote:
Nosferatu wrote:
KaterinLHC wrote:

In this week's Love FAQ, we take it back to school -- what to do when you're too confident for high school, when you're hot for teacher, and when some creeper won't stop posting pictures of spiders on your Facebook:

Love FAQ: Haters Gonna Hate, and Creepers Gonna Creep

I completely disagree with your advice to Cleric... Stay away from Creepers! They get close to you and then just blow up for no apparent reason taking out everything and everyone around them. Stay away!

Uh, isn't that exactly what I told her to do? Cut off contact with him?

Sorry, I guess the Minecraft reference failed to be obvious. You said "So turn him down, and keep turning him away as long as it takes." I was thinking more of "Run away screaming and shoot arrows at him when you hear him hissing nearby"

This week, I talk about sexy nurse costumes, the appropriate way to flirt, and how you can tell when your college roommate has lost their pizzazz:

Love FAQ: Don't Put the Kart Before the Koopa Shell

Also, in case you missed last week's, here it is:

Love FAQ: When Jesus is Your Lord and Cockblock

That's just the way it is in a relationship: As your level of commitment grows, you naturally let down your defenses and start farting and vomiting and scratching yourself in all manner of undignified places.

You mean like the back seat of a Volkswagon?

This week, we talk first dates, mixed signals and masturbation on Love FAQ:

Love FAQ: Keep Your Coat On and Your Wallet Closed

KaterinLHC wrote:

This week, we talk first dates, mixed signals and masturbation on Love FAQ:

Love FAQ: Keep Your Coat On and Your Wallet Closed

Totally tangential question: Is 'gil' pronounced /ɡɪl/ like Gilbert Gottfried, or /dʒɪl/ like Gillian Anderson?

Gravey wrote:
KaterinLHC wrote:

This week, we talk first dates, mixed signals and masturbation on Love FAQ:

Love FAQ: Keep Your Coat On and Your Wallet Closed

Totally tangential question: Is 'gil' pronounced /ɡɪl/ like Gilbert Gottfried, or /dʒɪl/ like Gillian Anderson?

Hmm. You'd think that the number of voiced FF games there've been would have answered that question.

I've always pronounced it Gilbert-style.

Based on the Wiki bit about it, it's an anglisized version of the Japanese giru, which I would guess, with my utter lack of knowledge about spoken Japanese, is pronounced with a hard G.

As always, if in doubt, just assume I'm right. It's easier on everyone that way.

If it's anglicanized from giru, I assume it would be geel, like geezer with an l (or heel with a g).

Jonman wrote:
Gravey wrote:
KaterinLHC wrote:

This week, we talk first dates, mixed signals and masturbation on Love FAQ:

Love FAQ: Keep Your Coat On and Your Wallet Closed

Totally tangential question: Is 'gil' pronounced /ɡɪl/ like Gilbert Gottfried, or /dʒɪl/ like Gillian Anderson?

Hmm. You'd think that the number of voiced FF games there've been would have answered that question.

I've always pronounced it Gilbert-style.

Based on the Wiki bit about it, it's an anglisized version of the Japanese giru, which I would guess, with my utter lack of knowledge about spoken Japanese, is pronounced with a hard G.

As always, if in doubt, just assume I'm right. It's easier on everyone that way.

Japanese has both sounds, but the hard 'g' is usually transliterated as 'g' and the 'g' as in 'Germany' as a j.