This is Not the Boogle Memorial Dating Advice/Tips Thread, No

Why is it that any woman I meet who gets a Monty Python joke doesn't know that a touchdown is worth six points? Conversely, why is it when they understand what hitting for the cycle is (the actual baseball term, not the sexual metaphor) can't tell an orc from an Uruk-Hai?

My current problem is thus:

People say you should do what you love and that it will lead to meeting like minded people who share your passions and interests, which at least creates a possible foundation of some sort for connection. Fair enough. However, what if most of your hobbies are solitary? What avenues do you then pursue to meet people? The workplace, bars, or clubs are all not particularly good places for me to be evaluating prospects and I wasn't really thinking of things in those terms.

I guess I'm asking what hobbies people have that have led them to meeting others? Honestly, I wouldn't mind picking up a new hobby anyway.

Duchess wrote:

My current problem is thus:

People say you should do what you love and that it will lead to meeting like minded people who share your passions and interests, which at least creates a possible foundation of some sort for connection. Fair enough. However, what if most of your hobbies are solitary? What avenues do you then pursue to meet people? The workplace, bars, or clubs are all not particularly good places for me to be evaluating prospects and I wasn't really thinking of things in those terms.

I guess I'm asking what hobbies people have that have led them to meeting others? Honestly, I wouldn't mind picking up a new hobby anyway.

What are these hobbies? There's usually an online group for damn near any interest, and meetups for the same.

I mean, consider "reading" as a hobby. That's a pretty solitary act, and yet there are book clubs, writing circles, and any number of other ways that hobby can become a social habit.

As far as hobbies where you can meet others, pick one. Open up your weekly free paper and find something that sounds interesting. Take a class. Go dancing. Boxing. Cooking. Volunteer somewhere. Join a burlesque troupe. Who knows.

When I first moved to New Orleans, I joined up with a volunteer-run bookstore. I have since parted ways with that group, but I'm still friends with a lot of the people I met through it, and in many ways it's those connections that keep me involved in events all over the city, each of which gives me an opportunity to meet even more new folks, and the cycle repeats.

Whatever you do, it works a lot better if you're really just trying to expand your horizons first, and meet people second.

unntrlaffinity wrote:

We ended up going to a ladies' arm wrestling event,

Did you win?

unntrlaffinity wrote:

I don't know if it's common for anyone else, but the majority of girls I end up dating through a service like OK Cupid (or Match, which I tried last year) message me first. I'd like to think it's because I made them laugh, or my profile is a bit different from most.

I've had that too. The most successful dates and outcomes have been where I've been approached first. Although, after a month or so of conversation online before meeting up they will always 'forget' that they did the initial contact.

Rat Boy wrote:

Why is it that any woman I meet who gets a Monty Python joke doesn't know that a touchdown is worth six points? Conversely, why is it when they understand what hitting for the cycle is (the actual baseball term, not the sexual metaphor) can't tell an orc from an Uruk-Hai?

Because girls are less dorky than guys?

Usually.

unntrlaffinity wrote:

Just for kicks I browsed profiles of other guys in my area, and a lot of them are pretty unhelpful, boring, or stupid. I can't tell you how many people are both laid-back, and easygoing. Or claim they have a great sense of humor. You know how you prove you have a great sense of humor? Write something funny. Also, does anyone actually hate laughing? It seems like you'd be better off saying something else obvious like, "I often consume food products to avoid starvation", or "I regularly engage in the intake of oxygen and the expulsion of carbon dioxide."

So true and girls' profiles are just as bad on this front. I've lost count of the ones I read that include something to the effect of "I like going out and having fun but I'm just as happy staying in with a glass of wine and a DVD". Great, you like going out and staying in, who doesn't? And you're totally right about writing something funny to show that you are, it's the old story telling aphorism; "show don't tell".

I think the problem is that most people don't write well about themselves, it's hard and it's not something you have to practice very often. And it's compounded by the fact that people rarely take some time to read other's profiles so that they can write something that stands out and avoid the clichés.

Rat Boy wrote:

Why is it that any woman I meet who gets a Monty Python joke doesn't know that a touchdown is worth six points? Conversely, why is it when they understand what hitting for the cycle is (the actual baseball term, not the sexual metaphor) can't tell an orc from an Uruk-Hai?

Because you're not dating Jeopardy champs or Google, you're dating people.

boogle wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:

Why is it that any woman I meet who gets a Monty Python joke doesn't know that a touchdown is worth six points? Conversely, why is it when they understand what hitting for the cycle is (the actual baseball term, not the sexual metaphor) can't tell an orc from an Uruk-Hai?

Because you're not dating Jeopardy champs or Google, you're dating people.

I've come to terms with the fact that my wife, while a proud nerd, doesn't give a damn about baseball specifically, and sports generally. If I need a female at a baseball game with me, my sister is always happy to go, so I'm covered in that regard.

We share enough common interests, pop culture and nerd references that it's ok to let a few of them go.

boogle wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:

Why is it that any woman I meet who gets a Monty Python joke doesn't know that a touchdown is worth six points? Conversely, why is it when they understand what hitting for the cycle is (the actual baseball term, not the sexual metaphor) can't tell an orc from an Uruk-Hai?

Because you're not dating Jeopardy champs or Google, you're dating people.

+1

Although Google would make one kinky partner.

I wasn't sure how much of this was a joke, but it's kind of an unreasonable expectation.

Until a few years ago, I didn't know sh*t about football (not that I'm an expert now, but I'm learning), and I can't tell an orc from an Uruk-Hai. But most of the interesting people I know are willing to learn and try new things, so really all you need is either a) someone who is game when it comes to unfamiliar subjects or b) someone willing to give unfamiliar subjects a chance specifically because it's something that interests you, and they want to share that interest.

I've had encroachment explained to me by a girl, and I've explained in unfortunate detail the differences between Watchmen the movie and Watchmen the comic in return. You might ask why such trivial things are important, or what you could be doing to express an interest in something the girl likes, so there's more of an exchange when it comes to football rather than a case of the girl having to catch up to whatever you're interested in. And if you realize there's plenty of subjects the girl likes that you don't give a sh*t about, then maybe it'll be clear that expecting someone to like everything you do is unrealistic.

And if you do try and express an interest in things the girl likes, and she never even tries to return the favor, maybe you're just dating someone sh*tty, completely separate from their knowledge of 2-point conversions.

Once I started watching games with friends and became invested in the Saints (easy to do in this town), learning the rules and different players actually mattered to me and it was a lot easier to pick up new bits of information.

MrDeVil909 wrote:
unntrlaffinity wrote:

We ended up going to a ladies' arm wrestling event,

Did you win?

The wrestlers were all ladies only. So I did not. But I wouldn't have. Some of those girls would have taken me straight to the gun show.

The way it works is that you have 8-10 wrestlers, each with a made-up backstory and entourage. Then you buy raffle tickets for a particular wrestler, and if your wrestler wins they draw from that wrestler's bucket and you can win prizes. The money goes to charity. It's really fun if they have it in your area.

unntrlaffinity wrote:
MrDeVil909 wrote:
unntrlaffinity wrote:

We ended up going to a ladies' arm wrestling event,

Did you win?

The wrestlers were all ladies only. So I did not. But I wouldn't have. Some of those girls would have taken me straight to the gun show.

The way it works is that you have 8-10 wrestlers, each with a made-up backstory and entourage. Then you buy raffle tickets for a particular wrestler, and if your wrestler wins they draw from that wrestler's bucket and you can win prizes. The money goes to charity. It's really fun if they have it in your area.

Sounds like fun.

I have to say the times I've gotten into conversations about MMA where I was the more knowledgeable participant, I just felt awkward because I am a girl and the guy was giving me these looks like I had grown snakes from my scalp.

They usually come around, but those looks at the start as if I had somehow ripped the fabric of space-time in front of them hasn't encouraged me to be forthcoming in other instances.

Duchess wrote:

I have to say the times I've gotten into conversations about MMA where I was the more knowledgeable participant, I just felt awkward because I am a girl and the guy was giving me these looks like I had grown snakes from my scalp.

They usually come around, but those looks at the start as if I had somehow ripped the fabric of space-time in front of them hasn't encouraged me to be forthcoming in other instances.

You shouldn't feel awkward, you should feel confident. I mentioned I was learning about football (slowly, but surely.) My main instructor is a girl almost literally half my size.

unntrlaffinity wrote:

I wasn't sure how much of this was a joke, but it's kind of an unreasonable expectation.

It was a joke, of sorts. Just seems like the geekery to sports ratio is either all or nothing for me lately.

Duchess wrote:

I have to say the times I've gotten into conversations about MMA where I was the more knowledgeable participant, I just felt awkward because I am a girl and the guy was giving me these looks like I had grown snakes from my scalp.

They usually come around, but those looks at the start as if I had somehow ripped the fabric of space-time in front of them hasn't encouraged me to be forthcoming in other instances.

This look wouldn't happen to resemble the following, would it?

IMAGE(http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/9735/theboysmeetmsellen.jpg)

Rat Boy wrote:
unntrlaffinity wrote:

I wasn't sure how much of this was a joke, but it's kind of an unreasonable expectation.

It was a joke, of sorts. Just seems like the geekery to sports ratio is either all or nothing for me lately.

That doesn't sound so bad. When you're into someone, you often get into each other's interests, even if you didn't have those interests to begin with. I mean, hell. Sports have everything a growing geek needs. Statistics, upgrades, fancy armor, rivalry, inconsistently enforced rulesets that border on dark magic. Mobs. Tanks. Healers. Guilds. Booze.

How about the NFL newbie penalty drinking game? Every time I don't see what happened and there's a flag, I call holding. When I'm right, I take a drink. Two drinks if I can guess which team did it. Finish your drink for pass interference.

Mostly though, I think people like to be included. But not in a way where you sit them down and say "watch this", "read this", or "do this".

Duchess wrote:

I have to say the times I've gotten into conversations about MMA where I was the more knowledgeable participant, I just felt awkward because I am a girl and the guy was giving me these looks like I had grown snakes from my scalp.

They usually come around, but those looks at the start as if I had somehow ripped the fabric of space-time in front of them hasn't encouraged me to be forthcoming in other instances.

If it's any consolation I would find that totally hot.

ccesarano wrote:

But looking that far ahead is also silly and over-thinking, so I just ignore it.

Holy sh*t, you think?

Dude, stop overanalyzing.

Look, it's easy, either they like you or they don't. If you've got a good connection, cool, go for it, if not go away, don't spend your week thinking about that waitress you're gonna see next month. Most you can do is be awesome on your own.

Just trying to help here, you think too much. Trust me, girls know what's up, you're not going to fool any of them, even if you out-think them that doesn't matter in the least. You're not going to logic a girl into bed... They just want you to do the right things, that's all...

edit: If it helps, that reminds me of when I felt that way, that's why it bothers me. I think everyone goes through that phase trying to figure out how it all works. But it gets better, as long as you don't get stuck there.

Pyro ReTweeted this on Twitter, so I have to share. It's called Good f*cking Dating Advice. It's behind the shortened url because of the naughty word.

It's cool, but needs more entries.

MrDeVil909 wrote:

Pyro ReTweeted this on Twitter, so I have to share. It's called Good f*cking Dating Advice. It's behind the shortened url because of the naughty word.

It's cool, but needs more entries.

Did Samuel L. Jackson write those?

Rat Boy wrote:

Why is it that any woman I meet who gets a Monty Python joke doesn't know that a touchdown is worth six points? Conversely, why is it when they understand what hitting for the cycle is (the actual baseball term, not the sexual metaphor) can't tell an orc from an Uruk-Hai?

Well... I'd take one and work on the other.

Man, I still get nervous when I ask a girl out. Even when I feel confident because the first date went well and we've been texting/emailing back and forth. There's always that moment when I half hope she answers, half hope it goes to voicemail (it went to voicemail.) Which, of course, prolongs that nervous feeling.

Rat Boy wrote:

Why is it that any woman I meet who gets a Monty Python joke doesn't know that a touchdown is worth six points? Conversely, why is it when they understand what hitting for the cycle is (the actual baseball term, not the sexual metaphor) can't tell an orc from an Uruk-Hai?

Everywhere I go it seems people love sports. It's frustrating. I'd rather more folks who liked Monty Python.

Mex wrote:

Dude, stop overanalyzing.

...

Just trying to help here, you think too much. Trust me, girls know what's up, you're not going to fool any of them, even if you out-think them that doesn't matter in the least. You're not going to logic a girl into bed... They just want you to do the right things, that's all...

edit: If it helps, that reminds me of when I felt that way, that's why it bothers me. I think everyone goes through that phase trying to figure out how it all works. But it gets better, as long as you don't get stuck there.

In truth, I actually don't think about this stuff as much as I used to. When I do my reports on here it is usually immediately following something, and then I go on doing other things in life. Hell, currently I've been so busy with my new job and getting a new car and its maintenance and it is all so chaotic. I haven't been visiting the Pizza Uno because I just don't have money, and won't until the last Sunday before Christmas. I figure I'll go there again when I've gotten my first pay, but I haven't thought about what I'm going to say or anything.

I'm at a stage where I want to meet someone, but oddly enough I don't really feel like I care. I've revisited my OkCupid account, sent a couple messages, but as usual no success. But I'm not bothered. At the most I just sigh seeing that they've bothered to look at my profile, but not respond (I've rewritten my profile so many times that at this point I don't even want to try again, either. It's different, exhibits my sense of humor and is honest, I really don't feel like spending so much time on something that may or may not get rejected again and again).

I guess it's more that I overthink things briefly when they seem to go well, but after that I just revert back to normal me mode and act as myself.

ccesarano wrote:

Everywhere I go it seems people love sports. It's frustrating. I'd rather more folks who liked Monty Python.

This. I grew up in the Midwest, and it took me until I was 15 or 16 before I realized that it wasn't me who was weird for not caring, it was everyone ELSE who was weird for getting so emotionally invested in the relative success rates of overpaid strangers manipulating the positions of balls on a field.

I'm at a stage where I want to meet someone, but oddly enough I don't really feel like I care. I've revisited my OkCupid account, sent a couple messages, but as usual no success. But I'm not bothered.

That's the way to be. You've got to want it enough to make the effort, but not so much that you come across as obsessive or desperate.

hbi2k wrote:
ccesarano wrote:

Everywhere I go it seems people love sports. It's frustrating. I'd rather more folks who liked Monty Python.

This. I grew up in the Midwest, and it took me until I was 15 or 16 before I realized that it wasn't me who was weird for not caring, it was everyone ELSE who was weird for getting so emotionally invested in the relative success rates of overpaid strangers manipulating the positions of balls on a field.

If you look at it as something that you can relate to other people with as opposed to separate you, it's a lot more fun. Watching a game in a bar with other folks cheering for the same thing is great, even if you don't know anyone. It's instantly something you can talk to nearly anyone about, even on a superficial level. And people are usually happy to explain stuff to you if you're not an expert.

It's like the weather, but more interesting.

Date is confirmed for Friday! Had to reschedule because she's studying for an exam, but we may grab drinks before Friday, too. Her friends want to scope me out, which might mean she had fun too and told them about me.

unntrlaffinity wrote:
hbi2k wrote:

This. I grew up in the Midwest, and it took me until I was 15 or 16 before I realized that it wasn't me who was weird for not caring, it was everyone ELSE who was weird for getting so emotionally invested in the relative success rates of overpaid strangers manipulating the positions of balls on a field.

If you look at it as something that you can relate to other people with as opposed to separate you, it's a lot more fun. Watching a game in a bar with other folks cheering for the same thing is great, even if you don't know anyone. It's instantly something you can talk to nearly anyone about, even on a superficial level. And people are usually happy to explain stuff to you if you're not an expert.

Yeah, I used to be the same. I hated sport when I was younger, but it becomes a common discussion point so actually helps develop real relationships of all types.

And being a spectator becomes a fun of its own once you figure out the nuances of what's going on.

unntrlaffinity wrote:

Date is confirmed for Friday! Had to reschedule because she's studying for an exam, but we may grab drinks before Friday, too. Her friends want to scope me out, which might mean she had fun too and told them about me.

Cool, have fun.

unntrlaffinity wrote:

If you look at it as something that you can relate to other people with as opposed to separate you, it's a lot more fun. Watching a game in a bar with other folks cheering for the same thing is great, even if you don't know anyone. It's instantly something you can talk to nearly anyone about, even on a superficial level. And people are usually happy to explain stuff to you if you're not an expert.

It's like the weather, but more interesting.

Trust me, I've tried every mental trick in the book to try to get interested in it, or at least interested in the social aspects surrounding it, and it just ain't my scene. It's like sitting a room with a bunch of people who all play the same MMO that you've never played listening to them yak endlessly about instancing their macro build DPS half-orc paladins on a tier 3 zone server. Sure, they're happy to explain it to you, you can even sit down and watch over their shoulder while they play a little so that you have more context, but at the end of the day you just don't care.

It's not that I don't understand the mechanics of the game, it's that I don't understand the appeal. I don't understand the process by which you identify so deeply with one team over another, unless you happen to know one of the players personally. I don't understand why their success or failure matters to you, unless you've got money riding on it or something, in which case I don't understand why you wouldn't bet on something you have some kind of direct involvement in instead. Even slots lets you pull a little lever.

I mean, don't get me wrong, when I'm honest about it instead of being snarky I know that sports isn't really any dumber than half of the stuff I do for fun. It's just not something I enjoy, and making an effort to try to enjoy it only winds up being frustrating for myself and everyone else. Whatever gene you have to have to get vicarious pleasure out of watching one group of dudes demonstrate their prowess over another group of dudes in a contest of physical skill, I just don't have it. I spent a good ten years of my life trying to develop it and have come to the conclusion that it's not something you can develop, you either get it or you don't. I don't.

I don't hate sports, I'm just utterly bored by them. Watching sports, that is. PLAYING sports, a pickup basketball game or some backyard touch football or something, that's another story. That's a great way to keep in shape and pass the time. But watching strangers do it on TV? That I just do not get.

I had a great first date at a sports bar for a rugby final. The odds of meeting a girl around here who supports my own coastal team are slim, yet I managed.

It helped that we defeated our hated enemy too, and we were dramatically outnumbered by their supporters.

unntrlaffinity wrote:

(A damn good post about why people are enthusiastic about things, and why it isn't important to "get it".)

Conversely, it makes no sense for someone to deride others who don't "get it". As one of the few hockey fans in my area prior to the Hurricanes coming to town, the whole "northern contempt" thing always seemed pretty dumb and contrary to the spirit of the game to me.

After all... there are few areas that love their sports more than the area that has NCSU, Duke, Wake Forest, and UNC among its academic institutions. What sport is more down to earth and inclusive of the local community than hockey? Of course I had bias, but I felt it could thrive here. Thrive it does, regardless of standings. When you rally North Carolinians under a flag, they stay there through thick and thin.

If it were up to me, everyone would get the opportunity to experience a hockey game no matter where they're from. I understand fandom through that lens. We're all a collection of different passions, some more intense than others. Like UA said, it's a choice to invest yourself in something meaningful. Did I say meaningful? Yeah. Communities are one of the most meaningful things we have!

hbi2k wrote:

It's not that I don't understand the mechanics of the game, it's that I don't understand the appeal. I don't understand the process by which you identify so deeply with one team over another, unless you happen to know one of the players personally. I don't understand why their success or failure matters to you, unless you've got money riding on it or something, in which case I don't understand why you wouldn't bet on something you have some kind of direct involvement in instead. Even slots lets you pull a little lever.

If you're not invested, you don't give a sh*t. So the first step is just to pick a team, for whatever reasons (you like the logo, you lived there as a kid, it's your local team), and cheer for them. You identify with a team because your friends identify with a team, or your family, or your neighbors. Here it's hard not to be infected by everyone's enthusiasm. If you don't put yourself out there, it won't be interesting.

And once you're invested in one team, the progress of the other teams matter too, because it's a competition. If the Falcons had lost against the Bucs, we'd be in line to take our division. Suddenly you have something to talk about with almost anyone from around the country.

Humorously enough, your argument is exactly the one I constantly hear when it comes to games like Rock Band.

"I mean, playing instruments, I can understand that. But pretending to? Losers!"

It's because it's FUN if you're in the right mindset.

If you don't like video games, or sports, or whatever, that's fine. I get that. But the "I don't get X" because it doesn't result in tangible "Y" is a weak argument. Fun and connecting with people are their own rewards.

Even a vague interest in the NFL has worked out great on dates recently. If I know a little bit more, and I can share what little knowledge I do have (like our playoff chances), they know more and can explain something to me (like the latest injury reports), or we're about the same level and can just talk bout the awesome plays from last game.

Plus, games are a great way to get together with people in a relaxed setting for initial or follow-up dates, or "safety dates" where things are less intense. Kind of like when you or the girl brings along a friend just in case.

Obviously, like any single interest, if that's all you have in common it won't progress into a very interesting date, but as an icebreaker, it's pretty reliable (here). And if the girl doesn't care, like the one I was recently smitten with who moved away, we simply talk about something else.

Edit:

As a sidenote, that reminds me. If you're not on a date to specifically watch something, like a football game, avoid venues with televisions. When I'm surrounded by flashing TVs, inevitably something will come on that distracts me, and ignoring your date isn't an effective strategy for endearing yourself to them or learning more about them.

Also, if you're getting physical back at the apartment, and you have a movie still running, pause it, turn it off, something. It only takes one inopportune burst of laughter ("It's not a schooner, it's a sailboat!") to ruin the mood. Sometimes I just can't help myself.

unntrlaffinity wrote:

If you're not invested, you don't give a sh*t. So the first step is just to pick a team, for whatever reasons (you like the logo, you lived there as a kid, it's your local team), and cheer for them. You identify with a team because your friends identify with a team, or your family, or your neighbors. Here it's hard not to be infected by everyone's enthusiasm. If you don't put yourself out there, it won't be interesting.

And once you're invested in one team, the progress of the other teams matter too, because it's a competition. If the Falcons had lost against the Bucs, we'd be in line to take our division. Suddenly you have something to talk about with almost anyone from around the country.

Humorously enough, your argument is exactly the one I constantly hear when it comes to games like Rock Band.

"I mean, playing instruments, I can understand that. But pretending to? Losers!"

It's because it's FUN if you're in the right mindset.

If you don't like video games, or sports, or whatever, that's fine. I get that. But the "I don't get X" because it doesn't result in tangible "Y" is a weak argument. Fun and connecting with people are their own rewards.

Even a vague interest in the NFL has worked out great on dates recently. If I know a little bit more, and I can share what little knowledge I do have (like our playoff chances), they know more and can explain something to me (like the latest injury reports), or we're about the same level and can just talk bout the awesome plays from last game.

Plus, games are a great way to get together with people in a relaxed setting for initial or follow-up dates, or "safety dates" where things are less intense. Kind of like when you or the girl brings along a friend just in case.

Obviously, like any single interest, if that's all you have in common it won't progress into a very interesting date, but as an icebreaker, it's pretty reliable (here). And if the girl doesn't care, like the one I was recently smitten with who moved away, we simply talk about something else.

Edit:

As a sidenote, that reminds me. If you're not on a date to specifically watch something, like a football game, avoid venues with televisions. When I'm surrounded by flashing TVs, inevitably something will come on that distracts me, and ignoring your date isn't an effective strategy for endearing yourself to them or learning more about them.

Also, if you're getting physical back at the apartment, and you have a movie still running, pause it, turn it off, something. It only takes one inopportune burst of laughter ("It's not a schooner, it's a sailboat!") to ruin the mood. Sometimes I just can't help myself.

Been there, done that. Picked a team, bought the jersey, sat there while everyone around me cheered, and I still didn't care. The missing factor here is not a lack of effort on my part. Like I said, I spent about ten years of my life trying my damnedest to care, because I could see how much fun everyone around me was having and I wanted to be part of that. For literally ten years, from the ages of six to sixteen or so, I thought there must be something wrong with me that I wasn't understanding what everyone around me saw in this stuff. It took me that long, ten long years of going through the motions of rooting for the home team and sitting through televised games and going to live games and eating the peanuts and crackerjack to realize that if I hadn't formed some attachment to a random assortment of 'roided-up dudes who had been hired by the NFL franchise associated by the city I happened to be living in by now, that it wasn't going to happen.

Understand here, I'm not making an "argument" because an "argument" implies that I'm trying to influence the behavior of others to match my own. I'm not. This is obviously something that people derive a lot of enjoyment out of and that's fine. As long as you're not one of those psychos who gets into bar fights over it, then it's a perfectly harmless passtime. It's just not one that I, personally, get anything out of.

hbi2k wrote:

Understand here, I'm not making an "argument" because an "argument" implies that I'm trying to influence the behavior of others to match my own. I'm not. This is obviously something that people derive a lot of enjoyment out of and that's fine. As long as you're not one of those psychos who gets into bar fights over it, then it's a perfectly harmless passtime. It's just not one that I, personally, get anything out of.

Well, an argument doesn't have to involve persuasion, but you can change "argument" to "explanation" and it still isn't any different from the Rock Band thing.

Not enjoying something is different from implying there's something wrong with people who do.

I have never enjoyed tabletop RPGs. I have lots of friends who do, it just isn't my thing. I don't think there's something wrong with them for enjoying it, but those types of games aren't any fun for me. But I don't explain that by saying it's lame because we're grownups and shouldn't play with death wraith barbies, or that if you're rolling the dice in Vegas it's worthwhile because you're risking something tangible instead of swinging an imaginary sword.

Which seemed to be the point you were originally making, before you went into the physically fit/playing sports explanation. Most "don't get me wrong, but" discussions tend to head in that direction fairly quickly.

Anyway, the discussion was originally in response to Cces being frustrated at how much other folks around him enjoy sports (and your reference to being 15 or 16, since there's lots of things I hated at 16 that I now enjoy).

If you've tried to enjoy something for ten years, sports, broccoli, or your significant other, and it's just not working out, I don't think there even has to be a reason for it. Life's too short to force yourself into activities you dislike for that long.

Edit: I missed it the first time, but Cces, I turn that profile tracking stuff off on OKC. Then you never have to worry about it. Plus, I like it being a surprise when people message me. I actually forgot that was a feature until you mentioned it.

unntrlaffinity wrote:

Not enjoying something is different from implying there's something wrong with people who do.

That was just me being snarky, don't read too much into it.