The (Boogle Memorial) Dating Advice/Tips Thread

hbi2k wrote:

I could use some romantic advice of a slightly different type. My issue is not with attracting women-- I'm in a seven-year-strong committed relationship with a wonderful woman and have no need to look elsewhere. What I could use, especially from those of you who are also in long-term relationships, are romantic ideas. After seven years, it's a real challenge to my creativity to keep finding little ways to let her know how much I appreciate her. Preferably cheap ones: she's definitely not a high-maintenance lady in the financial sense of always wanting lots of expensive gifts or dates or whatever, and anyway since we share the household finances she knows exactly how tight our budget is. Just little things. You GWJers who are either married or otherwise in long-term relationships, what do you do to keep things fresh?

Obviously the old standby is a nice home-cooked meal with candles and whatnot every once in a while. Anything else?

Write some love letters and mail them, I did a series of them with different themes. One was what I imagined her perfect day to be (this was my favorite as I made it both sexy and funny), another was how she had improved my life and how much I appreciated it, and then how I imagined our future. You can also go to a classy sex store as a joint outing, or get her a gift cert to it and then have her surprise you. Get a book of erotic short stories and read to each other.

Congrats on making it seven years, it is really an accomplishment.

boogle wrote:

Find favorite children's book.
Go to ebay and/or amazon. Procure first edition, preferably signed.

Ironically, my dad's trying to get me to teach him how to use eBay so he can do the same for my mother. Unfortunately, they're Nancy Drew books and the first edition I found for him (published in 1930) was going for almost three grand. A wee bit out of his price range.

The killer of each relationship (marriage) running that long is the balance between routine and excitement.
Routine means being able to pay the bills, both of you having your own schedule, regular family visits, a certain set of friends, who you'll usually do about the same range of activities with.
Excitement means anything like insomnia, living in the wrong neighborhood, being constantly broke, fighting every other day, having to move constantly, changing jobs like your underwear or you performing a new and disturbing variation of "the naked man" daily.
In a good relationship you should have both. There is no golden rule regarding the mix, you'll have to find that out for yourself.

If you're relationship is stable, it's time to break out once in a while. If you're barely making it from month to month, a temporary feeling of security would be a nice change. In my experience, the first case is more common.

Nathaniel already had a good number of suggestions. Your goal is to show her and give the chance to show you how much you still appreciate each other.

First and foremost, this can be little rituals like the aforementioned reading to each other (doesn't have to be erotic stuff though), having breakfast together despite crammed work schedules or going for a nice long walk through nature every Sunday morning before breakfast (which would then be brunch). I know most guys hate walks, but during this time you'll be almost free of outside signals, so it will be really "you time". And you'll be surprised what an hour of fresh air and sun can do for you in the mood and bonding department. Don't get discouraged if these don't feel "special" right away. It takes some time and effort from at least one party until the "everyday life" part of your subconscious will allow for this "non-sense" and both of you start relaxing.

The other thing next to rituals are surprises. Since this sounds a little too commercially oriented, I'll call them "out of the ordinary" stuff. Send her a red rose to work occasionally. This is one of the biggest cliché moves, but still works like a charm. Especially if she least expects it. "Anything can happen" days are also great, if you make the effort to go beyond "normally this would be sports night, so why not watch America's next topmodel instead?" Tell her to clear her schedule on Saturday or Sunday and take her to a zoo (spend some extra time in the area with cuddly stuff), have a hike combined with a picnic on a sunny mountain top or in a meadow or go to a club with music you normally wouldn't listen to (this goes well if you both like to watch people in their "natural habitat"). The rule of thumb for everybody's life should be "surprise yourself at least once a month", meaning do something you would never do under normal circumstances. If you can do this with your partner to create exceptional experiences (a good amount of those will make rough times a lot easier), all the better.

I am sure I could think of a couple more I've done in both sections, but I just got up and haven't had my coffee yet. I may add those later.

Have fun with her!

PS: Start boycotting Valentine's day! There's nothing romantic about it. Every man who needs a day to remind him to appreciate his woman doesn't deserve her. And every woman who thinks an arbitrary date entitles her to attentions and goodies from her man should either go and google "bl*wj*b and steak day" or think about what romantic means to her.

Luggage wrote:

The other thing next to rituals are surprises. Since this sounds a little too commercially oriented, I'll call them "out of the ordinary" stuff.

I second the fact that this doesn't have to be commercially oriented at all. Do something she doesn't expect. If there are things she normally does around the house, like vacuuming or doing the laundry, do them for her one day while she's not paying attention. Little gestures that show how much you care can go a surprisingly long way, and they often won't cost you a thing.

I'm going to second stuff that Keldar and Luggage said. Doing some of "her" work around the house can be a big deal to her, and a nice walk, hike, or bike ride can also be great.

Leave little notes in her briefcase/lunchbox/sunglass case/etc.

Nothing big, just an "I love you", "Hope you have a great day" or something like that.

hbi2k wrote:

After seven years, it's a real challenge to my creativity to keep finding little ways to let her know how much I appreciate her.

Maybe I'm being too blunt here, but tell her. Use your mouth to make noises that she'll understand to mean that you love her. Do it sincerely and do it often.

That, and occasionally ravishing her in a cavemanly fashion the second you step in the front door, of course.

Teacher girl's been parking across the street again, but every time I work up the nerve to say hello, she's gone.

Edit: When I passed by her, she was taking her sweater off (cold in the morning, warm during the day lately) and the static electricity dragged her T-shirt with it. SCIENCE!

Rat Boy wrote:

Teacher girl's been parking across the street again, but every time I work up the nerve to say hello, she's gone.

Edit: When I passed by her, she was taking her sweater off (cold in the morning, warm during the day lately) and the static electricity dragged her T-shirt with it. SCIENCE!

I wish I had had a hot teacher to teach me about science while topless.

Rat Boy wrote:

Teacher girl's been parking across the street again, but every time I work up the nerve to say hello, she's gone.

Edit: When I passed by her, she was taking her sweater off (cold in the morning, warm during the day lately) and the static electricity dragged her T-shirt with it. SCIENCE!

Now we know what the Van de Graaff generator was really invented for.

Clean the house & leave love notes in places she will find them. If she likes to cook, clean the fridge & hang an "I love you" inside. Do you take turns doing laundry, fold a note inside her favorite shirt (or attached to the hanger).

Keep up the good work!

Yonder wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:

Teacher girl's been parking across the street again, but every time I work up the nerve to say hello, she's gone.

Edit: When I passed by her, she was taking her sweater off (cold in the morning, warm during the day lately) and the static electricity dragged her T-shirt with it. SCIENCE!

I wish I had had a hot teacher to teach me about science while topless.

O rly?

So I think this Sunday I'm going to hit up the young adults Bible Study at my sister's Church aimed towards 18-25 year olds. Which means I'm going to feel weird if I'm the only person not in College there. But she goes to one of them giant Churches, so who knows.

But something that doesn't sit right and has prevented me from going is that they specify SINGLES 18-25, and that seems weird to me. There's nothing for just 18-25 single or not either. So I'm just wondering to some of you older folk out there, when they say Singles is it more just "unmarried people doing unmarried things" or is it "hey, here you can hide from that big bad naughty real world and meet other Christian singles! Because we know you want to be sheltered together". Because my first impression was the latter (and is why I stopped going to Youth Group at a young age).

Jonman wrote:

Maybe I'm being too blunt here, but tell her. Use your mouth to make noises that she'll understand to mean that you love her. Do it sincerely and do it often. :)

Good advice which I try to follow, but sometimes actions speak louder than words.

ccesarano wrote:

So I'm just wondering to some of you older folk out there, when they say Singles is it more just "unmarried people doing unmarried things" or is it "hey, here you can hide from that big bad naughty real world and meet other Christian singles! Because we know you want to be sheltered together". Because my first impression was the latter (and is why I stopped going to Youth Group at a young age).

Sounds like Chastity Club, which, of course, means there'll be plenty of 3rd base action to go around!

Man, I'd go just to check it out and for the bizarro-factor. If you hate it, one afternoon wasted, no biggie.

I really wish I had a dog to walk, since that'd give me an excuse to talk to teacher lady. At best today, the only thing I can think of that it's going to get in the 100s this afternoon and being inside a black car probably isn't a good idea for her.

Rat Boy wrote:

I really wish I had a dog to walk, since that'd give me an excuse to talk to teacher lady. At best today, the only thing I can think of that it's going to get in the 100s this afternoon and being inside a black car probably isn't a good idea for her.

What's wrong with a trick invisible dog lead/collar? Just walk past and make a joke out of it but also make it clear that you were wanting to talk to her.

Duoae wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:

I really wish I had a dog to walk, since that'd give me an excuse to talk to teacher lady. At best today, the only thing I can think of that it's going to get in the 100s this afternoon and being inside a black car probably isn't a good idea for her.

What's wrong with a trick invisible dog lead/collar? Just walk past and make a joke out of it but also make it clear that you were wanting to talk to her.

I think I'll stick with Option 2: I HAVE AC. WILL YOU BE FRIEND?

Rat Boy wrote:
Duoae wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:

I really wish I had a dog to walk, since that'd give me an excuse to talk to teacher lady. At best today, the only thing I can think of that it's going to get in the 100s this afternoon and being inside a black car probably isn't a good idea for her.

What's wrong with a trick invisible dog lead/collar? Just walk past and make a joke out of it but also make it clear that you were wanting to talk to her.

I think I'll stick with Option 2: I HAVE AC. WILL YOU BE FRIEND?

You think she's into Assassin's Creed?

Rat Boy wrote:
Duoae wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:

I really wish I had a dog to walk, since that'd give me an excuse to talk to teacher lady. At best today, the only thing I can think of that it's going to get in the 100s this afternoon and being inside a black car probably isn't a good idea for her.

What's wrong with a trick invisible dog lead/collar? Just walk past and make a joke out of it but also make it clear that you were wanting to talk to her.

I think I'll stick with Option 2: I HAVE AC. WILL YOU BE FRIEND?

Option 3: Dragon costume ----> her car.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:
Duoae wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:

I really wish I had a dog to walk, since that'd give me an excuse to talk to teacher lady. At best today, the only thing I can think of that it's going to get in the 100s this afternoon and being inside a black car probably isn't a good idea for her.

What's wrong with a trick invisible dog lead/collar? Just walk past and make a joke out of it but also make it clear that you were wanting to talk to her.

I think I'll stick with Option 2: I HAVE AC. WILL YOU BE FRIEND?

Option 3: Dragon costume ----> her car.

This must happen.

IMAGE(http://imgur.com/uircd.jpg)

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Option 3: Dragon costume ----> her car.

This must happen.

Do I have to make another graphic?

Marsman wrote:
Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Option 3: Dragon costume ----> her car.

This must happen.

Do I have to make another graphic?

I didn't want to deface your artwork with my (lack of) photoshop skills.. please do!

Marsman wrote:

IMAGE(http://i956.photobucket.com/albums/ae50/marsman61/GWJ/ratboy-dragon-car.jpg)

Smokin'!!

That's hot.

Look out, Rat Boy, looks like she's the kind of girl that'll give you a burning sensation in your crotch.

Clemenstation wrote:
ccesarano wrote:

So I'm just wondering to some of you older folk out there, when they say Singles is it more just "unmarried people doing unmarried things" or is it "hey, here you can hide from that big bad naughty real world and meet other Christian singles! Because we know you want to be sheltered together". Because my first impression was the latter (and is why I stopped going to Youth Group at a young age).

Sounds like Chastity Club, which, of course, means there'll be plenty of 3rd base action to go around!

Man, I'd go just to check it out and for the bizarro-factor. If you hate it, one afternoon wasted, no biggie.

It probably just means non-married. Churches usually think in terms of "singles" and "married couples." It's not a dichotomy I like much, but it's the norm.

Also, I find that megachurches have a fair amount of blur to lines like that (e.g., Lots of high school and 30-somethings would go to the college group if they liked that better).

Updated, for Great Justice!
IMAGE(http://i956.photobucket.com/albums/ae50/marsman61/GWJ/ratboy-dragon-car2.jpg)

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Look out, Rat Boy, looks like she's the kind of girl that'll give you a burning sensation in your crotch.

I hear he likes that.