The (Boogle Memorial) Dating Advice/Tips Thread

Nosferatu wrote:

So let's say I know this Dragon and he likes this "girl"... her name is "Mercedes", the problem is she's got this guy with her all the time, and he keeps her locked away inside when he's not with her.

And I, I mean he was wondering how he could hook up with her, any suggestions?

Make out with the guy and see if the Mercedes is impressed enough to sleep with you! /weclock

Nosferatu wrote:

And I, I mean he was wondering how he could hook up with her, any suggestions?

Couldn't said dragon just use his fire breath to burn the garage down?

HAVEABIGPEEPEE.

mudbunny wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:

Change the title before you give someone a real heart attack.

Yeah. For a second, I looked at a thread indicating that Boogle had died (or gotten some).

I assumed that this was exactly what had happened. It would have been kind of sad really. If this thread can deliver half as much as the original, then we're in for good times.

Unlike Boogle. OH!

Ahh!! I have a question, oh wise overlords of GWJ (man, I got tagged, aren't I a member of that club now? awesome). I know no one can read this guy's mind, but still I ask the question to hear what you think your reaction would be.

I was talking to a friend of mine and he didn't believe me about my bra size, and then made some remark about the "jigglyness" of said boobage. I became offended and said they were not jiggly and I was not lying about the size thank you very much. Boy that I like actively avoided the discussion, stopping just short of point-blank refusing to participate, and quietly made us move on to a different conversation.

For some guys, this would be pretty normal behaviour - but he's not shy! Especially not about this kind of thing! He's always pointing out girls to me and discussing who has the best breasts etc etc...but the minute my other friend said anything about me he visibly withdrew from the conversation. When he mentioned another girl we know, he immediately started participating again, but as it went back to me and we were working out why we both looked different even though technically the sizes weren't that different etc he made us change subjects.

For what reason would any of you do this? Politeness? That's the only explanation I could come up with.

I think this is good for general consumption, by the way, because (especially when you are younger) the line between friend and relationship can be extremely blurred...

My advice is to resign yourself to celibacy and retire into the priesthood/become a monk or nun. It's in everyone's best interest!

[edit]

VDOWhoNeedsDD wrote:

(man, I got tagged, aren't I a member of that club now? awesome).

Congratulations! You learned how to spam!

I know no one can read this guy's mind, but still I ask the question to hear what you think your reaction would be.

Couple of things come to mind.

1. Some people aren't able to "deal" with discussing personal things with themselves or about their close friends/family but are able to watch the most disgusting sh*t on TV/internet etc.

2. He likes you but is *shy and is afraid that by discussing intimate topics about you his interest might come out in the open for everyone to see.

*Some people may be confident about everything else in their lives (or are able to hide the fact that they're not to everyone else) but when it comes to divulging their emotional interest they become incredibly unconfident and shy.

Duoae wrote:

My advice is to resign yourself to celibacy and retire into the priesthood/become a monk or nun. It's in everyone's best interest!

[edit]

VDOWhoNeedsDD wrote:

(man, I got tagged, aren't I a member of that club now? awesome).

Congratulations! You learned how to spam!

I know no one can read this guy's mind, but still I ask the question to hear what you think your reaction would be.

Couple of things come to mind.

1. Some people aren't able to "deal" with discussing personal things with themselves or about their close friends/family but are able to watch the most disgusting sh*t on TV/internet etc.

2. He likes you but is *shy and is afraid that by discussing intimate topics about you his interest might come out in the open for everyone to see.

*Some people may be confident about everything else in their lives (or are able to hide the fact that they're not to everyone else) but when it comes to divulging their emotional interest they become incredibly unconfident and recalcitrant.

Totally not spamming fam It was merely an expression of happy realisation!

I way prefer the second explanation. A lot of people we know keep hinting about us and making jokes about us always being together so he is probably being hyper-sensitive...especially if you're right

I do need to stop over-analysing everything though. Baaaad VDO.

I agree with Duoae's take on the situation, leaning heavily to the 2nd option.

VDO, he likes you. Only reason I would ever get uncomfortable talking about boobage with a girl. I was actually just reminiscing about boob talk with girls in high school where they'd show tons of cleavage or in college where they'd show no cleavage but would lift up their sweatshirts to prove your disbelief. Those were some of the best conversations of my life and I just don't see how that will ever happen again

Elliottx wrote:

VDO, he likes you. Only reason I would ever get uncomfortable talking about boobage with a girl. I was actually just reminiscing about boob talk with girls in high school where they'd show tons of cleavage or in college where they'd show no cleavage but would lift up their sweatshirts to prove your disbelief. Those were some of the best conversations of my life and I just don't see how that will ever happen again :(

I suggest we say we don't believe VDO about her boobage.

VDOWhoNeedsDD wrote:

For what reason would any of you do this? Politeness? That's the only explanation I could come up with.

He likes you is my best guess.

Elliottx wrote:

VDO, he likes you. Only reason I would ever get uncomfortable talking about boobage with a girl. I was actually just reminiscing about boob talk with girls in high school where they'd show tons of cleavage or in college where they'd show no cleavage but would lift up their sweatshirts to prove your disbelief. Those were some of the best conversations of my life and I just don't see how that will ever happen again :(

I love having these conversations with guys! Find some more girls! We're always hanging around This isn't really dating tips but nonetheless: girls will appreciate guys' honesty in talking about subjects like boobs/sex because it's nice to hear a guy's take. My friend that I was talking about - not the one I like - is great to talk to because we both know we have zero interest in each other so we can be totally honest about how we feel about various subjects that with others I just wouldn't broach in case I was judged for it.

Cleavage is confusing. Some girls wear very tight tops to show it off, but they want only certain guys to look at it. If they see me staring at it and maybe taking a few pictures, all of a sudden I'm considered creepy. I would like to complain to the authorities, but strangely there aren't any.

Stengah wrote:
Elliottx wrote:

VDO, he likes you. Only reason I would ever get uncomfortable talking about boobage with a girl. I was actually just reminiscing about boob talk with girls in high school where they'd show tons of cleavage or in college where they'd show no cleavage but would lift up their sweatshirts to prove your disbelief. Those were some of the best conversations of my life and I just don't see how that will ever happen again :(

I suggest we say we don't believe VDO about her boobage.

IMAGE(http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee177/dizzle229/ScruffySecond.jpg)

Stengah wrote:
Elliottx wrote:

VDO, he likes you. Only reason I would ever get uncomfortable talking about boobage with a girl. I was actually just reminiscing about boob talk with girls in high school where they'd show tons of cleavage or in college where they'd show no cleavage but would lift up their sweatshirts to prove your disbelief. Those were some of the best conversations of my life and I just don't see how that will ever happen again :(

I suggest we say we don't believe VDO about her boobage.

I second this.... also i demand proof that her boobage is not jiggly.

Funkenpants wrote:

Cleavage is confusing. Some girls wear very tight tops to show it off, but they want only certain guys to look at it. If they see me staring at it and maybe taking a few pictures, all of a sudden I'm considered creepy. I would like to complain to the authorities, but strangely there aren't any.

Were you using the flash and taking it from a flattering angle? I hear women tend not to like pictures taken from unflattering angles. Best doing it when they're looking in a mirror in a bathroom.... at least that's where all the younger generation of women seem to prefer taking pictures as opposed to outside when they're wearing plenty of clothes and makeup.

So in summary i think you need to take up breaking and entering as an additional hobby to your photography.

Or he's just sticking up for a friend. The Friend Zone's kind of a gray area where it's easy to read too far into something.

mudbunny wrote:
VDOWhoNeedsDD wrote:

For what reason would any of you do this? Politeness? That's the only explanation I could come up with.

He likes you is my best guess.

This was my read too, otherwise known as Duoae's Option Number Two.

He doesn't want to criticize boobs that he hopes to one day fondle with his own hands.

(assuming he has hands and not pirate hooks; in that case his conversational withdrawal might've been related to something else altogether, like contemplating elaborate revenge on the seal who bit off his hand)

Rat Boy wrote:

Or he's just sticking up for a friend. The Friend Zone's kind of a gray area where it's easy to read too far into something.

I hate The Friend Zone. It is so awkward and uncomfortable.

Duoae wrote:

Couple of things come to mind.

1. Some people aren't able to "deal" with discussing personal things with themselves or about their close friends/family but are able to watch the most disgusting sh*t on TV/internet etc.

2. He likes you but is *shy and is afraid that by discussing intimate topics about you his interest might come out in the open for everyone to see.

*Some people may be confident about everything else in their lives (or are able to hide the fact that they're not to everyone else) but when it comes to divulging their emotional interest they become incredibly unconfident and shy.

And option 3. There's a difference between talking about tits and talking about the tits of someone present and actively involved in the conversation. I think we all know by now that discussing a friend or interest's physical attributes can be a bit of a minefield, and it's easy to hurt a person's feelings or say the wrong thing.

Given the amount of detail available, I don't see how anyone could really indicate whether he likes you or not, and as the person with feelings for someone else you're likely to see/hear what you want to see/hear. The input of someone who knows you both or is present when those conversations happen is going to be much more valuable.

Or, you know, you could ask him.

Or he's gay. I know a number of gay guys that like boobs. Maybe he knows you like him and the sexualization of the conversation made him uncomfortable.

Or he really does like you and is shy. Either way, it sounds like you will have to be the one to "cowboy up" and address the situation.

VDOWhoNeedsDD wrote:
Rat Boy wrote:

Or he's just sticking up for a friend. The Friend Zone's kind of a gray area where it's easy to read too far into something.

I hate The Friend Zone. It is so awkward and uncomfortable.

Yup, back when I was dating, if I realized I was in the "Friend Zone" I would immediately go for the oral sex. This had two advantages:

1) Immediate departure from the "Friend Zone"
2) Oral Sex.

Need I say more?

VDOWhoNeedsDD wrote:

I hate The Friend Zone. It is so awkward and uncomfortable.

Like the back of a Volkswagen?

Quintin_Stone wrote:
VDOWhoNeedsDD wrote:

I hate The Friend Zone. It is so awkward and uncomfortable.

Like the back of a Volkswagen?

There is so little room there next to the Dragon.

Nevin73 wrote:

Or he's gay. I know a number of gay guys that like boobs. Maybe he knows you like him and the sexualization of the conversation made him uncomfortable.

Or he really does like you and is shy. Either way, it sounds like you will have to be the one to "cowboy up" and address the situation.

He's not gay. I will indeed have to 'cowgirl' up sometime, it's just so unpleasant
...Hmm, "cowgirl up" sounds far dirtier than "cowboy up"...

Yonder wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:
VDOWhoNeedsDD wrote:

I hate The Friend Zone. It is so awkward and uncomfortable.

Like the back of a Volkswagen?

There is so little room there next to the Dragon.

The dragon's inside the car now? Have you added unbirthing to the fetish?

VDOWhoNeedsDD wrote:
Nevin73 wrote:

Or he's gay. I know a number of gay guys that like boobs. Maybe he knows you like him and the sexualization of the conversation made him uncomfortable.

Or he really does like you and is shy. Either way, it sounds like you will have to be the one to "cowboy up" and address the situation.

He's not gay. I will indeed have to 'cowgirl' up sometime, it's just so unpleasant
...Hmm, "cowgirl up" sounds far dirtier than "cowboy up"...

Just invite him round for the evening (possibly to go out)... when he arrives make sure that you're barely dressed but make some sort of apology about being late and hope that he doesn't mind waiting while you dress.

If he goes red, his jaw hits the floor and he stares or tries his hardest not to stare then go for it.... if he just shrugs it off then go with whatever the plans were in the first place.*

[size=6]*Do not take dating advice from Duoae.[/size]

Duoae wrote:
VDOWhoNeedsDD wrote:
Nevin73 wrote:

Or he's gay. I know a number of gay guys that like boobs. Maybe he knows you like him and the sexualization of the conversation made him uncomfortable.

Or he really does like you and is shy. Either way, it sounds like you will have to be the one to "cowboy up" and address the situation.

He's not gay. I will indeed have to 'cowgirl' up sometime, it's just so unpleasant
...Hmm, "cowgirl up" sounds far dirtier than "cowboy up"...

Just invite him round for the evening (possibly to go out)... when he arrives make sure that you're barely dressed but make some sort of apology about being late and hope that he doesn't mind waiting while you dress.

If he goes red, his jaw hits the floor and he stares or tries his hardest not to stare then go for it.... if he just shrugs it off then go with whatever the plans were in the first place.*

[size=6]*Do not take dating advice from Duoae.[/size]

Also, don't forget to take pics...

My dating advice: Spam!

I had a lot of success dating online, which is where I met my wife. What I did was take some time to write out a verbose, amusing intro letter. I'd then email that intro letter to every single woman on the dating site within my parameters (which generally consisted of "living", distance, and under the age of 40). I'd get some replies, those would dwindle down for whatever reason to a manageable number and then I'd get a few that I would go on actual dates with. It worked well.

My wife was less than thrilled to realize that what first caught her eye to me was essentially a form letter, so if you use this method, keep that bit to yourself.

Totally unrelated to either matter at hand (either dragons or boobs), my best advice is this:

Make it abundantly clear that you don't tolerate bullsh*t the first time it happens.

This pretty much means no games and no emotional blackmail. If you can nip this in the bud the first time it happens ("I am not going to continue this discussion until you start acting like an adult") and lay down ground rules that consist of openness, honesty, and fairness, you're pretty much set. If you do allow it to happen, you open yourself up to all sorts of hell further down the line.

As with most things, it's much easier to have this rule from the start than to introduce it later. And it goes without saying that it works both ways.

Any other suggestions on exiting the friend zone other than the oral sex?

I seem to find myself there with about every guy I meet. (unless they are the creepy kinds who want to take photos....or are already convicted of a crime/arrested.)

VDOWhoNeedsDD wrote:
Nevin73 wrote:

Or he's gay. I know a number of gay guys that like boobs. Maybe he knows you like him and the sexualization of the conversation made him uncomfortable.

Or he really does like you and is shy. Either way, it sounds like you will have to be the one to "cowboy up" and address the situation.

He's not gay. I will indeed have to 'cowgirl' up sometime, it's just so unpleasant :(

You can do it, VDO! It can be unpleasant, sure, but at least you'll have an answer.