Depression is ruining my life.

I've been trying to do well, and to help out here at home. But everytime I try or do something i manage to screw it up. Who needs a drink.

Hi y'all. How ya doin'?

WOW. I'm changing anti-depressants. While I wait for the new drugs to take effect (two weeks?) I've stopped taking the old drugs. Which means. I. Am. No. Longer. Muted. I'm feeling things I haven't felt in more than 10 years. I'm quicker to higher emotional responses.

I’m started the process of looking for professional help.

Reached a breaking point last night where I could literally feel my brain and self fighting each other. I can recognize my doom spirals and know exactly how and why they’re triggered, I can make a million rational arguments for the irrationality of my thoughts. But I don’t have the tools (or drugs) right now to defeat the darkest, scariest thoughts that try to drag me towards the cliff. I’m incredibly thankful for having so many loving people in my life who support me and reinforce my worth.

It’s been a long time coming. And I know this is just another step in the journey to healing. I owe it to my loved ones, I owe it to myself. It’s a little bit scary, but also incredibly liberating to know I can get help.

This is a great choice, Staygold, it changed my life back in 2004. I hope you get the same positive results. And that liberating feeling only gets better as the treatment comes into view.

You need to to what you have to do, and the strength you have to recognize it and take that step is incredible.

Great decision! I hope you reap many rewards from it! I've been in therapy off and on for decades.

My new shrink says I could have clinical depression, but he thinks bipolar 2 is more likely the cause of everything. I tried joking with him by saying "I'm not bipolar, I like women." He told me not to change the subject to avoid it.

Joykill...

MaxShrek wrote:

My new shrink says I could have clinical depression, but he thinks bipolar 2 is more likely the cause of everything. I tried joking with him by saying "I'm not bipolar, I like women." He told me not to change the subject to avoid it.

Joykill...

IMAGE(http://goodguyswag.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Knowing-is-half-the-battle.jpg)

MaxShrek wrote:

My new shrink says I could have clinical depression, but he thinks bipolar 2 is more likely the cause of everything. I tried joking with him by saying "I'm not bipolar, I like women." He told me not to change the subject to avoid it.

Joykill...

As someone who is also on the bi-polar rollercoaster, don't worry, you can have both at the same time!

Do you repel or attract? Both?

MotleyWizard wrote:
MaxShrek wrote:

My new shrink says I could have clinical depression, but he thinks bipolar 2 is more likely the cause of everything. I tried joking with him by saying "I'm not bipolar, I like women." He told me not to change the subject to avoid it.

Joykill...

As someone who is also on the bi-polar rollercoaster, don't worry, you can have both at the same time!

Truth. I also hate that as I’ve gotten older my happy “let’s go party” mania has instead been replaced with irritation and anxiety. Rapid cycling is fun!

My irrational went from break and steal to hide from the world when I was young, to pee on public roads, sing loud songs with the wrong lyrics into my cell phone recorder when I drive, and hide from the world as an adult.

Oh I still get a kick out of photographing my porcelain sculptures and sending then to friends, and my "live stream" of taking videos of me peeing (sans penis so it's sfw) and sending them. Let's not forget farts, too.

Don't forget mailing about 200 elf heads as packaging for a Christmas gift! I still have them by the way. I really need to send them on during our next Secret Stanta.

Wait, did I do that? I'm more f*cked up than I thought if I did.

Okay, found something really interesting. There's a website called mynoise.net. It's the hobby project of a Belgian sound engineer, and has an app too. Dozens of different multi-channel soundscapes with mixing sliders and a setting that will let them change over time to avoid brain burn-in.

I picked the "Irish Coast" one and listened to it during work at a low level. Comforting. Set it up on my phone, plugged it in, and ran it the last two nights. I went from 8 or 10 wakeups to about 4. And the amazing thing is that when my anxious thoughts started to pop up, which usually tangle me up for an hour or so, I just pictured myself where the sound reminded me of - in this case, Cape Cod in a storm - and fell right back asleep. Woke up each day refreshed and ready to go. My Oura is really happy with my numbers too.

I almost wept.

Robear wrote:

Okay, found something really interesting. There's a website called mynoise.net. It's the hobby project of a Belgian sound engineer, and has an app too. Dozens of different multi-channel soundscapes with mixing sliders and a setting that will let them change over time to avoid brain burn-in.

I picked the "Irish Coast" one and listened to it during work at a low level. Comforting. Set it up on my phone, plugged it in, and ran it the last two nights. I went from 8 or 10 wakeups to about 4. And the amazing thing is that when my anxious thoughts started to pop up, which usually tangle me up for an hour or so, I just pictured myself where the sound reminded me of - in this case, Cape Cod in a storm - and fell right back asleep. Woke up each day refreshed and ready to go. My Oura is really happy with my numbers too.

I almost wept.

This looks amazing! Great for studying, too, for those of us with ADHD.