Duke Nukem Forever Catch-All

This is making me a sad devil. I expected a solid if not great game, and I thought it would be a great opportunity for a developer to do some smart parody in a medium that's gotten entirely too self important.

And it's been blown.

:'(

Game used to let people bring back games they didn't like. I never took advantage of it, since I don't like being sold used games as new (which I assumed was what happened).

Switchbreak wrote:

I think this right here is pretty much the best review I've seen out there for this game, and sums up nicely my own feelings after watching Giant Bomb's quick look of it.

http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/...

Oh man, I don't know if Jeff is sick in that DNF quick look or if he's had his will to live utterly sapped by finishing the game.

stevenmack wrote:
Switchbreak wrote:

I think this right here is pretty much the best review I've seen out there for this game, and sums up nicely my own feelings after watching Giant Bomb's quick look of it.

http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/...

Oh man, I don't know if Jeff is sick in that DNF quick look or if he's had his will to live utterly sapped by finishing the game.

Watching that quick look sapped my will to live.

I absolutely love the scathing interviews. DNF has provided me with hours of reading entertainment, and it didn't cost me a dime!

Bonus: not having to feel sorry for the developers, thanks to their abhorrent sense of 'humor'.

Ars review is pretty good as well.

I lost interest in this game ~10 years ago. Possibly longer than that.

I'm still looking forward to playing this. Sort of.

So did that guy with the 10+ year old pre-order slip end up getting a copy of the game?

Bah double post.

I won't lie, I'm loving watching this train wreck happen.

There are two running themes in reviews. First, Gearbox deserves credit for managing to release this. But...now, I don't know a thing about making a game, but Gearbox does. And clearly this game's problem wasn't that it was a beast of awesome magnitude, ambition, and innovation, it was just poorly managed. So, shouldn't Gearbox have had a pretty easy time putting the pieces together, since, you know, they put out Borderlands?

Second, the fact that so many critics feel the need to say "I don't favor censorship" is a bit scary, as it betrays that many of us have no real idea what censorship even is. We're really at the point where saying something is stupid and in poor taste is a free speech issue? I quite rightly blame groups like the Parents Television Council, and their idiot-reactionary Get This Pulled Off the Air tactics, which have resulted in this hyper-sensitivity, driving folks to scream "NO CENSORSHIP!" any time someone says they aren't confident that No Russian would fit into the CoD design philosophy, or that Duke may not handle rape tastefully. But it scares me a bit that I find myself tuning those screams out, because one day we may have a real censorship issue and I'll fail to notice because I'm too busy rolling my eyes.

Still no demo available to the general population. You gotta wonder if at this point, they realize a demo would do more harm than good and just not put one out at all.

SpacePPoliceman wrote:

Second, the fact that so many critics feel the need to say "I don't favor censorship" is a bit scary, as it betrays that many of us have no real idea what censorship even is. We're really at the point where saying something is stupid and in poor taste is a free speech issue? I quite rightly blame groups like the Parents Television Council, and their idiot-reactionary Get This Pulled Off the Air tactics, which have resulted in this hyper-sensitivity, driving folks to scream "NO CENSORSHIP!" any time someone says they aren't confident that No Russian would fit into the CoD design philosophy, or that Duke may not handle rape tastefully. But it scares me a bit that I find myself tuning those screams out, because one day we may have a real censorship issue and I'll fail to notice because I'm too busy rolling my eyes.

I'll say this: I watched a good portion of the Quick Look, and I will not give money to anyone involved in designing the content that went into the underground mission (the one where he's shooting women who beg for a chance to drop the weight they've gained). I hope no one else does, either.

4xis.black wrote:

The way I would've gone with it is to have Duke be an older fellow who is privately ashamed of the exploits of his youth, yet lives in an insane netherworld where everyone around him still acts like he is the greatest thing ever. Towards the middle of the game he just starts with responding with "Uh..." and "Look, that was a long time ago." By the end he is fully immersed in some kind of Abe Kobo-esque nightmare where faceless marionettes masquerading as people pursue him down dark alleyways shouting "Look, it's Duke! Come get some! Shake it baby! Shake it baby!"

See, this would have actually been funny.

It seems like all they really needed to bump that from "gross misstep" up to "rather ill-advised nihilistic satire" was a small tip of the hat to the player. Just have Duke shout out "Flagrant misogyny!" as he pulls the trigger, or something.

The way I would've gone with it is to have Duke be an older fellow who is privately ashamed of the exploits of his youth, yet lives in an insane netherworld where everyone around him still acts like he is the greatest thing ever. Towards the middle of the game he just starts responding with "Uh..." and "Look, that was a long time ago." By the end he is fully immersed in some kind of Abe Kobo-esque nightmare where faceless marionettes masquerading as people pursue him down dark alleyways shouting "Look, it's Duke! Come get some! Shake it baby! Shake it baby!"

4xis.black wrote:

The way I would've gone with it is to have Duke be an older fellow who is privately ashamed of the exploits of his youth, yet lives in an insane netherworld where everyone around him still acts like he is the greatest thing ever. Towards the middle of the game he just starts with responding with "Uh..." and "Look, that was a long time ago." By the end he is fully immersed in some kind of Abe Kobo-esque nightmare where faceless marionettes masquerading as people pursue him down dark alleyways shouting "Look, it's Duke! Come get some! Shake it baby! Shake it baby!"

4xis.black, you could have saved Duke Nukem. 3DRealms played it straight sticking to the Nukem from two decades ago, when he needed to be re-invented after this long. He doesn't need to be a parody like Serious Sam, but self-aware and self-referential. A tired man, irrelevant and forgotten—like Sylvester Stallone. And like Sly, 3DR wrongly made The Expendables, when they should have made JCVD: The Video Game. That would have been a Duke Nukem appropriate for this decade and could have been a landmark game.

Duoae wrote:
Pretendbeard wrote:
stevenmack wrote:
garion333 wrote:

I just hope Gearbox doesn't get hurt too bad by this. I want me some Borderlands 2.

Well, its been at the top of the UK charts since release on Friday despite the crappy reviews, so they'll probably do better than they deserve to.

Probably, but most UK retailers allow people to exchange their purchases within a week or two for reasons as simple as they just don't like it. I have to wonder how many will end up coming back after morbid curiosity has been fulfilled.

That's never been my experience.... nor when i was working in the retail sector for entertainment in the UK.... Which shops were you doing this in?

I worked for HMV for almost three years and had to deal with a lot of entitled consumers in this regard. So long as they have the receipt then, unless it's a PC game or in noticeably bad shape, it gets swapped over for something else or loaded onto a gift card, no question. Doesn't matter what the reason is. I hear that it used to be possible to get refunds just as easily, prior to one of the tabloids running a story on how Blockbuster will die because you can rent for free from HMV. Even at the point when I left in 2009, there were plenty of customers who would act offended because you wouldn't give them their money back because they decided they didn't like this game they picked up five days back.

The problem is even worse in Australia, from what I can deduce. Stores like Electronics Boutique have 21 day return policies that have led to people openly talking about 'EB renting' games. But my annoyance of how certain competitive retail practices have bullied the indies out of business and raised a population of consumers who are, for all practical purposes, entitled brats, probably belong elsewhere. The actual point here is that I personally know a few people whom I expect will have 'EB rented' DNF, and I doubt that many (if any) of them will actually keep it. And I fully expect to see a few copies traded back at HMV this week, too.

Sounds like they just turned Duke Nukem into a douchebag, instead of an asskicker. That's why he was fun, the strippers and stuff were just side effects of being an awesome asskicker.

4axis.black, that would have been fantastic. I'd love to see a scene play out where Duke (from Duke's POV) is begrudgingly clutching a turd in one hand, and an ardent supporter is yelling 'Grind it into the dying alien's mouth! Do it!!!!' Look at the turd, pan to the gasping alien, back at the crowd. Back to the turd. The turd hits the pavement with a nasty squelching smack, the crowd goes silent, and we see the soft pitter-patter of tears from Duke's eyes, the soft rattling gasp of the alien's breathing and the yelling of the crowd fading (tear patter) (gasp) (tear patter) (gasp). Duke stumbles off, horrified at what he's become, a construct of the exploits of his misguided youth given horrific life by hero worship.. Pan to the turd, then the black-fade.

I was only able to play the first half hour. Turns out that throne was an elevator!

I also spent too much time with the damn billiards. So close, yet never complete.....

I installed this game on the PS3 and it still has loading times. Long enough ones to annoy me. There's no indicator to let you know how much longer, either.

IMAGE(http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y276/Kolian/INFINITE.jpg)
Better game.

Or the Betterest Game?

4xis.black wrote:

Duke Nukem Infinite

...

Duke find himself in Yuppietopolis, a massive underground drill train built as a paradise for stock traders by the enigmatic Erick DeGoon, who asked one simple question: "Isn't greed good?" But something dark has been unleashed in DeGoon's utopia, the most babe-stealing alien invader of all--the evil of man. A stunning critique of how action movie tropes of the 80's fed the empty promises of Reganomics, Duke Nukem Infinite, Collective Singularity Game Thought Frequency's GOTY 2025.

I want producer credit.

Oh and to answer my own question from earlier:

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/iJ9Xu.jpg)

SpacePPoliceman wrote:

I want producer credit.

Would you settle for the 'Irrational Pets' section?

EriktheRed wrote:

Oh and to answer my own question from earlier:

[DNF pre-order receipt from 2001]

CAN'T WAIT FOR IT

4xis.black wrote:
SpacePPoliceman wrote:

I want producer credit.

Would you settle for the 'Irrational Pets' section?

I'll go no lower than "Babies Born During Development".

CptGlanton wrote:

I'll say this: I watched a good portion of the Quick Look, and I will not give money to anyone involved in designing the content that went into the underground mission (the one where he's shooting women who beg for a chance to drop the weight they've gained). I hope no one else does, either.

Having watched it myself, yeah, staggering. "How is it different from that part of Aliens?" seems a very quaint question.

I just beat it.

I know you're sitting there thinking "Man I need to buy this, just as a curiosity, just to see what 15 years of development time gets you". Put those thoughts aside people. Stay away. Far. Far. Far. Far. Away.

The PR firm for Duke Nukem Forever, The Redner Group, is mad as hell and isn't going to take it anymore.

IMAGE(http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/8/82461/1815024-prwot_super.jpg)

They later tweeted an apology, blamed emotion, and said they would be making phone calls to apologize to those involved.

That's.....odd.

Sometimes games don't review well. Sorry guys, but it happens. You shouldn't have a public hissy-fit over it.

IMAGE(http://www.vertigogaming.net/HUD/originals/alwaysduke.jpg)