Machete (Robert Rodriquez Film)

Thin_J wrote:
SpacePPoliceman wrote:

He's allergic to awesome. It's tragic.

Bah, the only good movies with Danny Trejo in them are the ones where he has like three lines and then his character gets killed. He's a terrible actor.

Couldn't the same be said about Steven Segal?

Saw it on Friday and it was pretty much what I expected it to be....meh. The action was Ok but he went with too many quick cuts and it took you out of the moment. At least the eye candy was enjoyable.

I found this review on a family oriented Christian movie review site. I can't imagine why they bothered - if ever there's a film that screams "Not for the puritanical!", this is it - but it's worth a look.

MACHETE Content: (what the ratings mean)
(HHH, CoCoCo, PCPCPC, AbAbAb, APAPAP, AcapAcapAcap, FeFeFe, LLL, VVV, SSS, NNN, AA, DDD, MMM) Evil, rotten, disgusting, humanist, nihilistic, Communist, politically correct, pro-revolution, pro-illegal immigration worldview with extreme Anti-Christian blasphemy and sacrilege (including a corrupt priest), racist elements, anti-white elements, anti-American, and anti-capitalist content, radical feminist elements, overt discussion of incest, and other anti-family content; 68 obscenities and 17 profanities; ultra-graphic, gory, very bloody, snuff extreme, constant violence such as gruesome decapitations, limbs severed, eye shot out, numerous gun battles, woman dresses as nun and mows down people with machine gun, man disemboweled and intestines used to rappel off building, priest nailed to a cross, torture, electrocution, etc.; extreme sex includes group sex, exhibitionism, and overt discussion of incest; extreme nudity includes full frontal female nudity; alcohol use and drunkenness; smoking cigarettes, marijuana use and selling drugs; and, very strong miscellaneous immorality includes lying, cheating, kickbacks, blackmail, betrayal, manipulation, corruption, greed, envy, reverse racism rationalized, and revenge.
One would like to think that Robert Rodriguez, who has done such good family movies as the SPY KIDS series, was doing this as a big joke to mock everyone, including Jesus Christ. But, the Bible says in Psalm 1:1, Don’t “sit in the seat of mockers.” Also, if Rodriguez really intended to mock everyone, he failed, because the Communist revolutionaries come off as the only good guys. Rodriguez says he wanted to make a Hispanic superhero, but the backlash against this movie should be intense, and a superhero should not be the first one to kill and steal.

The movie verbally makes the point that there is no law and order. America is a corrupt, miserable, horrible place. If so, why do all these Mexicans want to come here? In effect, this movie is just a racist diatribe that’s hateful for no good reason.

That said, there are a couple mentions of people going to Hell, which could include everybody who made this movie. That would be unfortunate, because we have some friends in the movie, including the star Danny Trejo. Danny is the only one who does a good job of acting in this movie. Everyone else looks foolish and buffoonish, giving the movie a very sophomoric, high school, blood and gore fest look.

And here I was going to recommend it to one of my friends' Bible study groups.

Eee, I must print that off and use it as a checklist. I can just imagine the reviewer reporting back 'I needed to watch it 4 times just to pick up all of the obscenities!'. The stuff in the brackets look like the work of a stuck printer, though.

Nice to see the church disapproving of anti-capitalist elements. And sacrilege...presumably because there is no such thing as a corrupt priest, of course.

Robear wrote:

I found this review on a family oriented Christian movie review site. I can't imagine why they bothered - if ever there's a film that screams "Not for the puritanical!", this is it - but it's worth a look.

MACHETE Content: (what the ratings mean)
(HHH, CoCoCo, PCPCPC, AbAbAb, APAPAP, AcapAcapAcap, FeFeFe, LLL, VVV, SSS, NNN, AA, DDD, MMM) Evil, rotten, disgusting, humanist, nihilistic, Communist, politically correct, pro-revolution, pro-illegal immigration worldview with extreme Anti-Christian blasphemy and sacrilege (including a corrupt priest), racist elements, anti-white elements, anti-American, and anti-capitalist content, radical feminist elements, overt discussion of incest, and other anti-family content; 68 obscenities and 17 profanities; ultra-graphic, gory, very bloody, snuff extreme, constant violence such as gruesome decapitations, limbs severed, eye shot out, numerous gun battles, woman dresses as nun and mows down people with machine gun, man disemboweled and intestines used to rappel off building, priest nailed to a cross, torture, electrocution, etc.; extreme sex includes group sex, exhibitionism, and overt discussion of incest; extreme nudity includes full frontal female nudity; alcohol use and drunkenness; smoking cigarettes, marijuana use and selling drugs; and, very strong miscellaneous immorality includes lying, cheating, kickbacks, blackmail, betrayal, manipulation, corruption, greed, envy, reverse racism rationalized, and revenge.
One would like to think that Robert Rodriguez, who has done such good family movies as the SPY KIDS series, was doing this as a big joke to mock everyone, including Jesus Christ. But, the Bible says in Psalm 1:1, Don’t “sit in the seat of mockers.” Also, if Rodriguez really intended to mock everyone, he failed, because the Communist revolutionaries come off as the only good guys. Rodriguez says he wanted to make a Hispanic superhero, but the backlash against this movie should be intense, and a superhero should not be the first one to kill and steal.

The movie verbally makes the point that there is no law and order. America is a corrupt, miserable, horrible place. If so, why do all these Mexicans want to come here? In effect, this movie is just a racist diatribe that’s hateful for no good reason.

That said, there are a couple mentions of people going to Hell, which could include everybody who made this movie. That would be unfortunate, because we have some friends in the movie, including the star Danny Trejo. Danny is the only one who does a good job of acting in this movie. Everyone else looks foolish and buffoonish, giving the movie a very sophomoric, high school, blood and gore fest look.

And here I was going to recommend it to one of my friends' Bible study groups.

You have to wonder what would make someone so self righteous want to sit through the entire 2+ hours a movie like this would take. It sounds like just a little too much protesting....

"You mentioned incest twice..."

etc.

They should put that review on the poster. It sure would sell tickets. (They'd need a bigger poster, though.)

It's funny that they go to that extent -- I mean, is anyone going to say "we were going to take the kids and grandma until we saw the movie features blackmail! Heavens preserve us!" Couldn't you just say the movie is really, really bad?

MACHETE Content: (what the ratings mean)
(HHH, CoCoCo, PCPCPC, AbAbAb, APAPAP, AcapAcapAcap, FeFeFe, LLL, VVV, SSS, NNN, AA, DDD, MMM) Evil, rotten, disgusting, humanist, nihilistic, Communist, politically correct, pro-revolution, pro-illegal immigration worldview with extreme Anti-Christian blasphemy and sacrilege (including a corrupt priest), racist elements, anti-white elements, anti-American, and anti-capitalist content, radical feminist elements, overt discussion of incest, and other anti-family content; 68 obscenities and 17 profanities; ultra-graphic, gory, very bloody, snuff extreme, constant violence such as gruesome decapitations, limbs severed, eye shot out, numerous gun battles, woman dresses as nun and mows down people with machine gun, man disemboweled and intestines used to rappel off building, priest nailed to a cross, torture, electrocution, etc.; extreme sex includes group sex, exhibitionism, and overt discussion of incest; extreme nudity includes full frontal female nudity; alcohol use and drunkenness; smoking cigarettes, marijuana use and selling drugs; and, very strong miscellaneous immorality includes lying, cheating, kickbacks, blackmail, betrayal, manipulation, corruption, greed, envy, reverse racism rationalized, and revenge.

"You keep using that word..."

Oddly enough, the rest of the film doesn't sound very PC at all - is it like 4 hours long or summat ?

Cheech Marin saying "It's not safe for me for you to be here, so get the f* out...." makes this worth catching on Netflix eventually.

Has anyone here seen it yet? A good friend whose taste in movies I trust said it was terrible (and not "good-bad," just "bad-bad").

I've never seen a Robert Rodriguez movie on opening weekend since the abortion that was "Once Upon A Time in Mexico". The sheer craptitude of that film made me so angry I immediately watched another film to get the stink out of my eyes.

Ballotechnic wrote:

I've never seen a Robert Rodriguez movie on opening weekend since the abortion that was "Once Upon A Time in Mexico". The sheer craptitude of that film made me so angry I immediately watched another film to get the stink out of my eyes.

Agreed. That's why I find it so amazing that he's now building a career on making intentionally bad movies along with Tarantino. The grindhouse move was just great for them. The Hobo with a Shotgun trailer just reeks of bad and yet people will likely flock to it. It's like Black Dynamite but not as funny.

Robear wrote:

list

As I read this list, I am mentally picturing the progress bar of Awesome steadily filling up.

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. It delivered everything I expected in an action film and more. Maybe its just Austin, but the entire theater was filled with laughter. Especially when the film pokes fun at the stereotypes we see on the street every day.

Gorilla.800.lbs wrote:
Robear wrote:

list

As I read this list, I am mentally picturing the progress bar of Awesome steadily filling up. :)

Me too, man.

Wait...

Nihilistic?
Politically correct?
Pro illegal immigration?
Radical feminist elements?

I uh...

And to top it off, lying, cheating and betrayal.

I'm still going to see Machete despite the negative posts.

Hobo with a Shotgun looks incredibly lame and I'd much rather see them do - "Thanksgiving". The trailer is epic *NSFW!*.

93_confirmed wrote:

I'm still going to see Machete despite the negative posts.

Hobo with a Shotgun looks incredibly lame and I'd much rather see them do - "Thanksgiving". The trailer is epic *NSFW!*.

Is he doing what I think he's doing @ 2:24?

Ermm...good eye! I do indeed believe he's doing what you think he's doing. Wonder what that Christian movie site is going to have to say about that one.