Son: My 17-year-old son, who's a complete sports illiterate. He plays video games, loves anime and works at Game Stop. His soccer career was two seasons between ages 2 and 10. He has never attended an amateur or professional sporting event.
Me: One of my first memories (not sports memories -- memories memories) is Larry Csonka running through the Vikings' D-line in Super Bowl VIII. I was 6, and I was at my friend Brooke's house (actually my mom was good friends with his mom, Nancy), and they lived on a house that sat at an angle to Patterson Avenue in Richmond, Va.) But I digress.
Sound: Ringing of a phone.
Son: Hey. Name players on the New England Patriots.
Me: (caught off guard that such a question would be asked) ... Uh ... Tom Brady? He's the quarterback ...
Son: No, no. Who's the guy in all those commercials?
Me: (after a pause) You mean Peyton Manning?
Son: Yeah, him!
Me: He plays for the Colts, not the Patriots.
Son: Didn't he used to play for the Patriots?
Me: No. He's always played for the Colts.
Son: (in a disbelieving tone) Really?
(Spotlight focuses on a middle-aged man, holiding a telephone in one hand and covering his face with the other.)
- Fin -