Michael Bay continues quest to perfect delivery mechanism for anti-life: Transformers 3 in pre-production

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.

Well its official: We have a great Transformers 3 story. The release date is now July 1st 2011. Not 2012.

Today is Day One. This morning started with an ILM meeting for five hours in San Francisco. Currently I’m flying with writer Ehren Kruger to Rhode Island to talk to Hasbro about new characters.

Me want big boom!

Agemmon wrote:

Me want big boom!

A substitution for seeing Transformers 3: Look at my avatar, look at one of the Megan Fox threads, look at your avatar, look at my avatar again, look at your avatar again, now imagine my avatar looking into a sunset. The end.

Stengah wrote:
Agemmon wrote:

Me want big boom!

A substitution for seeing Transformers 3: Look at my avatar, look at one of the Megan Fox threads, look at your avatar, look at my avatar again, look at your avatar again, now imagine my avatar looking into a sunset. The end.

There's not nearly enough gratuitous slo-mo shots of military hardware in that. You need to add a google image search for "US military" and slooooooowly scroll down the page as well.

Alien Love Gardener wrote:
Stengah wrote:
Agemmon wrote:

Me want big boom!

A substitution for seeing Transformers 3: Look at my avatar, look at one of the Megan Fox threads, look at your avatar, look at my avatar again, look at your avatar again, now imagine my avatar looking into a sunset. The end.

There's not nearly enough gratuitous slo-mo shots of military hardware in that. You need to add a google image search for "US military" and slooooooowly scroll down the page as well.

His blog[/url]]

Hey guys! I hear there's a lot of rumours about how i go about making the stories for my films - especially some people on a site called Gamers With Jobs.

Well, i've sent out my lawyers and you douche-bags will be receiving your cease and desist letters soon.... also, as i believe my computer has been hacked by these very same people they will be accompanied by a lawsuit for hacking and stalking.

Boom!

Michael

Agemmon wrote:

Me want big boom!

Your demands will be satisfied, the subtitle for Transformers 3 is rumored to be Moar Boom Than Evah!

I blame all of you people who went to see Transformers 2. You'd seen Transformers 1. Why, people? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

Funkenpants wrote:

I blame all of you people who went to see Transformers 2. You'd seen Transformers 1. Why, people? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

Because 2 is MORE than 1. MUCH more.

Is this honestly all that surprising?

Transformers 1 was pretty ok. Transformers 2 was a decent popcorn flick; go for mindless booms, big robots kicking ass, and TWO hot chicks.

By that, I expect Transformers 3 to have even more explosions, more robots kicking ass, and THREE hot chicks. What's not to like? Oh, what's that you say? Lack of plot? Helloooo McFly! HOT CHICKS. Who cares about plot?

AnimeJ wrote:

Transformers 1 was pretty ok. Transformers 2 was a decent popcorn flick; go for mindless booms, big robots kicking ass, and TWO hot chicks.

By that, I expect Transformers 3 to have even more explosions, more robots kicking ass, and THREE hot chicks. What's not to like? Oh, what's that you say? Lack of plot? Helloooo McFly! HOT CHICKS. Who cares about plot?

Transformers 3: The Oogaba Supremacy.

AnimeJ wrote:

Transformers 1 was pretty ok. Transformers 2 was a decent popcorn flick; go for mindless booms, big robots kicking ass, and TWO hot chicks.

By that, I expect Transformers 3 to have even more explosions, more robots kicking ass, and THREE hot chicks. What's not to like? Oh, what's that you say? Lack of plot? Helloooo McFly! HOT CHICKS. Who cares about plot?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04o2V2ah5dI

I just gotta ask you guys. Since when does an action film with big robots need a plot anyways, regardless of hot chick involvement? When I go to watch something with transformers in the name, all I want to see is big robots fighting and doing some crazy stuff. Throw in some cool looking transformations and I'm good. Except for the fact that the robot forms are way too busy and need to show more panels and be more disctinct so you can more readily tell who is who.

AnimeJ wrote:

Transformers 1 was pretty ok. Transformers 2 was a steaming pile of crap with big robots kicking ass, robot testicle jokes, offensive "sidekick" robots, and TWO hot chicks.

By that, I expect Transformers 3 to have even more explosions, more robots kicking ass, and THREE hot chicks. What's not to like? Oh, what's that you say? Lack of plot? Helloooo McFly! HOT CHICKS. Who cares about plot?

Fixed that for you. The problem I forsee in Transformers 3: The Unicron Menace (or something) is that for a third hot chick, we will be getting a feminazi female robot, complete with robo-breasts, and even more terrible, terrible human sidekicks to comment on them.

wanderingtaoist wrote:
Funkenpants wrote:

I blame all of you people who went to see Transformers 2. You'd seen Transformers 1. Why, people? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

Because 2 is MORE than 1. MUCH more.

Nearly twice as much, in fact. Which is why I won't be bothering with 3 - it's only a 50% improvement over the previous.

I'm still gonna see it.

Teneman wrote:
wanderingtaoist wrote:
Funkenpants wrote:

I blame all of you people who went to see Transformers 2. You'd seen Transformers 1. Why, people? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

Because 2 is MORE than 1. MUCH more.

Nearly twice as much, in fact. Which is why I won't be bothering with 3 - it's only a 50% improvement over the previous.

But it's still MORE. I can't wait.

Well I really liked transformer 2 and I look forward to seeing Transformer 3 when it's released.

Actually, I think I just cracked the story. You know how Sam died and went to Transformers heaven, only to be sent back because his work wasn't done? Well, in Transformers 3, Sam complains about Transformers-God not doing a very good job, which ticks off Transformers-God so much he grants Sam his powers and asks him to see if he can do a better job!

That's right, it's Transformers 3: Sam Almighty!

It's the Transfromers/X Almighty crossover you always dreamed of!

Yeah, in all seriousness I'll see it too. My wife loves the cars. As for me, hey, Megan Fox.

Coworkers and I went over to the convenience store for morning munchies. One of the guys commented on Megan Fox on the cover of Cosmo or whatever mag it is.

That's when I informed them all about the toe thumb. There was much discussion on the topic.

Quintin_Stone wrote:

Coworkers and I went over to the convenience store for morning munchies. One of the guys commented on Megan Fox on the cover of Cosmo or whatever mag it is.

That's when I informed them all about the toe thumb. There was much discussion on the topic.

You are unequivocally correct about the toe thumb. Regardless, I think you have to turn in your man card for looking at a picture of Ms. Fox, any picture, and noticing that she has thumbs, let alone their shape.

To me, Michael Bay died after making the Rock. I guess I was one of the few people who always thought Transformers cartoons were stupid. That and I have a strict zero tolerance policy on Shia Lebouf. Saw the first one, 2 hours of my life that I'll never get back. Not haven't watched the 2nd, and won't watch the 3rd.

As long as Shockwave is included this time, it's all good.

And of course Megan Fox. Toe thumbs, or no toe thumbs

Quintin_Stone wrote:

Coworkers and I went over to the convenience store for morning munchies. One of the guys commented on Megan Fox on the cover of Cosmo or whatever mag it is.

That's when I informed them all about the toe thumb. There was much discussion on the topic.

Man, and I thought they were laid back in Berkley about such things.

Teneman wrote:

You are unequivocally correct about the toe thumb. Regardless, I think you have to turn in your man card for looking at a picture of Ms. Fox, any picture, and noticing that she has thumbs, let alone their shape.

Now look here. Every Megan Fox thread here eventually turns to the topic of toe thumbs and then gets locked. How can I not be expected to share that knowledge?

Stengah wrote:

A substitution for seeing Transformers 3: Look at my avatar, look at one of the Megan Fox threads, look at your avatar, look at my avatar again, look at your avatar again, now imagine my avatar looking into a sunset full of massive billboards. The end.

Fixed.

Quintin_Stone wrote:
Teneman wrote:

You are unequivocally correct about the toe thumb. Regardless, I think you have to turn in your man card for looking at a picture of Ms. Fox, any picture, and noticing that she has thumbs, let alone their shape.

Now look here. Every Megan Fox thread here eventually turns to the topic of toe thumbs and then gets locked. How can I not be expected to share that knowledge?

Some knowledge is so dark, so evil, that it ought not be studied or shared.

I understand the appeal of Robots, Explosions and Hot Chicks as much as the next guy, but in the absence of plot, I'm not sure what you're getting out of Transformers that a collection of youtube videos wouldn't also be able to provide.

Inevitable and terrible. No 3rd movie is ever good (well maybe one or two) so it has to suck. But it just made way too much money for them not to do it.

More than the aimless, lacking story, the problems with #2 were the unfunny humor, screeching tone, incomprehensible action, pointless military wanking, and most of all, the sense that I was being insulted for the entire 3 month running time (the movie was 3 months long, right? My haggard appearance after leaving the theater seemed to confirm this). "Here ya go, dumbass," Bay seemed to be saying, "here's some 'jive' talkin' robots. You think that's funny, right, dumbass? How about a pair of robot balls? Laugh, idiot, you love this stuff. Want to feel afraid? Here, a robot just knocked the 'Merican flag off a bridge, now you're afraid, right, mouth-breathing moron?"