I don't think I've ever posted on these boards before, though I have on a few others around the various gaming-related interwebs. I didn't really have the time to, or want to devote the time after fulfilling the demands of my life. The GWJ podcast found a crack in time during my extensive commute. Other than that, I was one of those guys who hardly had time at work to visit the internet for something other than a work-related search or a quick email.
I recently took a big lateral move from a casino I'd been with for almost eight years, to a company selling software to casinos. To me, that represented a shift that might have better chances to feed a future career at a game development company, even if it was a risky move. Working with games would help me use my time better, allow me have have game-related time and work-related time somehow double up. Every job I've ever had simply wants more and more of it, year after year. I have a bad habit of getting on salary, doing a good job, and failing to keep my mouth shut, suggestion-wise. Lethal combination.
Time is indeed precious. I can't help but be susceptible to temptations of workaholism. I've been the main breadwinner for fifteen years, the only one for five or so of those. Yet as I age and see the effects of where I spend my time, I see how critical the time I spend with my family can be. My family would defend me, but nonetheless I've felt a lot of guilt over the things I've missed at home in favor of more time at the office.
And somehow still I also want selfish time, to play my games. Being a gamer has suffered more than anything else, which I suppose is to my credit. So many nights since I entered my late thirties have I tried my old trick, forgoing sleep, only to have my wife find my aging body asleep on the couch with a controller in its limp, lifeless hands. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the primary reason I have become more "casual" in my gaming. Time. Pure and simple.
The idiom "be careful what you wish for" has recurred to me so much in that last week, since my new position disappeared along with the company I joined. I am laid off. I have plenty of time.
And as I search for work and apply jobs and explore my first experience with "the dole," I have enjoyed more time with family, and to help my wife. And, yes, to game. Yet each one of these interactive experiences I've worked so hard to fit into the budget (sometimes not the best fit), looks like cash to me now, that could be in the bank. At what price to savings comes this hobby? Or would I just be spending the money on sports or cars or liquor otherwise?
Regardless of all that heavy stuff, is there some key for an unemployed father and breadwinner to gaming without guilt during the downtime? For some reason my wife feels I deserve it.
sorry to hear about your job
As for buying games: I almost never pay full price. Just wait for the deals to appear. It's hard to hear
everyone rave about this new game they just played, but well, it's got to hurt somewhere
Or you budget everything and put something aside for just you and something for just your wife.
And you spend it on whatever you want. For you: games!
Really hope you find a job soon !
Sorry to hear you lost your job man.
failing to keep my mouth shut, suggestion-wise.
What do you mean by that? What kind of suggestions? Like telling the boss were he can stick it?
Time is indeed precious. I can't help but be susceptible to temptations of workaholism. I've been the main breadwinner for fifteen years, the only one for five or so of those. Yet as I age and see the effects of where I spend my time, I see how critical the time I spend with my family can be. My family would defend me, but nonetheless I've felt a lot of guilt over the things I've missed at home in favor of more time at the office.
It seems like you need to find a work life balance. First off, being on salary, you're not getting overtime. So if the money is not the motivating factor of working so much, what is? Can you identify the specific reason you work so much? When you are putting in lots of hours, do you see a promotion on the horizon? A tangible goal? Do you feel like if you don't work that much, you might lose your job? You work to provide for your family but do you make the time to enjoy the fruits of those labors? Step outside yourself and identify the difference between being a husband/father and an absentee financial benefactor of your family.
Also, it's obvious that you lost your job regardless of the amount of time you put in. So have you found any benefit to being a workaholic?
And somehow still I also want selfish time, to play my games. Being a gamer has suffered more than anything else, which I suppose is to my credit. So many nights since I entered my late thirties have I tried my old trick, forgoing sleep, only to have my wife find my aging body asleep on the couch with a controller in its limp, lifeless hands. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the primary reason I have become more "casual" in my gaming. Time. Pure and simple.
It's not wrong to want personal time. I'd rank it as a necessity for every human being. All things in moderation though.
And as I search for work and apply jobs and explore my first experience with "the dole," I have enjoyed more time with family, and to help my wife. And, yes, to game. Yet each one of these interactive experiences I've worked so hard to fit into the budget (sometimes not the best fit), looks like cash to me now, that could be in the bank. At what price to savings comes this hobby? Or would I just be spending the money on sports or cars or liquor otherwise?
Regardless of all that heavy stuff, is there some key for an unemployed father and breadwinner to gaming without guilt during the
downtime? For some reason my wife feels I deserve it.
All things in moderation. As gamers we all know how addicting gaming can be. We can drop 6 hours into a game without thinking about it and it will seem like we've only been playing 30 minutes. If your wife feels you deserve it, then perhaps pick up a game as long as it's not taking away from necessary bills. Just be careful not to get carried away. It's in our nature as gamers to do so.
Perhaps you can make a compromise with yourself to help eliminate the guilt. Something like "Ok, if I spend 4 hours this morning making a serious effort to find a new job, then I can play a game for 4 hours. Then after the working day is over and wifey comes home, I spend the rest of the night with wife and kids." One of the easiest things to do when unemployed is lose structure to your day. Make yourself a routine with scheduled times for job seeking and gaming, and then spend the rest of the time with your family.
Good luck man. Hope you find work soon.
If you're worried about managing your time and you want a job soon, I recommend taking a 2 week or so break and then treat your job search as your new job. Dedicate a 5 day a week 9 - 5 schedule to your job search and spend the time you would have spent at your old job working extra hours or commuting to play games and entertainment.
A problem for many people who are unemployed is distractions and feeling like you don't have a purpose. If you set up a schedule where you will work, you'll solve most of these problems. You could also set aside time to do non job search but still productive things, for example 9 - 2 is job search time and 2 - 5 is chore / errand time.
Best luck!
Perhaps get a part time job if you can find one that will pay better than unemployment, to keep you from getting too bored. For example, we have drivers who work 20-30 hours a week and they're retired gentlemen just doing it for play money. I'm sure there's plenty of companies looking for something along those lines.
Now's your chance to recuperate, to decide exactly what you need to do to fall in love with life again, and how you can make it happen. Any reason you haven't ever struck out on your own?
One of the easiest things to do when unemployed is lose structure to your day. Make yourself a routine with scheduled times for job seeking and gaming, and then spend the rest of the time with your family.
Structure is the key to not losing your mind and maintaining that feeling of having a purpose. Accomplishing something every day, I think, is the key. Take a breather if you can afford to; Sounds like you've earned it.
Good luck
I suggest doing a google search for the terms "eagle semen" then read his blog. Once you are done with this, write something simliar to your old boss. That will teach him!!!
In an effort to assuage the guilt from how much money you spend on gaming, I've found free gaming to be suprisingly good. It's amazing how good an experience you can get from your browser. I use Kongregate as my browser-game-portal of choice.
Other cost-saving tips:
- Ignore new releases! You're paying a premium because it's shiny and exciting. Unless there's a damned good reason to get in on day 1, wait. I'm doing this with Batman. I'm reliably informed by all and sundry is the best thing EVAR, but as a singleplayer game, the experience doesn't suffer for time. [/*]
- Trade-in! I use Goozex as a way to keep my pile stocked with older titles that I missed first time around[/*]
- Shop smart! Use CheapAssGamer to find deals. Use Google Shopping likewise. If you must buy a new game, research first, and buy from the outlet that gives you the biggest gift card as incentive. [/*]
Admittedly, the second and third points are only applicable to console gaming - not sure which side of that fence you sit on.
I just lost my job a couple of weeks ago myself. Was with the company for 18 years (not a huge fan of change), so was a big shock. As everyone else has said, structure is the main thing I am finding out. I am kind of taking it easy for now, adjusting to life without daily contact with friends whom I had seen everyday. But I am still keeping the same structure I had when I did have the job. Wake up early..watch some Mike and Mike in the morning, go for a 20 minute walk, come back home and take a shower. I still eat at the same time as I did before, and I go to bed at the same time. Only thing missing is the job that took up nine hours of my daily life.
What amazes me now is the procedure of filling out an application. Gone are the days of filling out a paper application, talking to someone in the company , and getting the job. All is done online now, with intense background checks. Not worried about the background checks at all, but I do think the online thing makes it less personal. Guess I am an old fart..but prefer to hand application and resume to a real person.
Anyway, money has been tight till I get my severance, so have been checking out Gog.com a lot. Just finished playing fallout for the first time in about ten years, and now oogling fallout 2. Found a great addicting game for my G! today called FarmFrenzy..and it was free. So gaming wise there are options. Main thing is to not let the darkness of the situation invade your mind. Be realistic, but don't let negative thoughts change your ways.
I wish you well. Just please don't lose hope and keep on gaming. Get your resume done right..and send it out into the cyber world. You will find something soon.
Oops..almost forgot one other option. Try DDO if you are into mmorpg games. I have lifetime to LOTRO membership, so not worried about subscription fees for that game, but I did give DDo a try, and am loving it so far. Just need to find a nice static group.
Site looks good. As a first-time visitor, it felt a bit disconcerting that the navigation ... balls? kept changing depending on which page you look at. I understood why (only display links that are pertinent to the current page), but it was still a bit odd. And the main body content of some of your portfolio pages (Writing, Design) is rather overwhelming -- maybe reduce 4 columns to 2?
Hope things look up for you soon. I understand the weird feeling of finally having free time to game and all of a sudden it seems like the most unappealing thing in the world. While I was finishing my thesis I ran out of savings, which had the side effect of making me feel like a stereotypical basement dweller every time I sat down on the couch. Like these other guys said, finding some structured way to feel productive is a good counter for this.
Sorry to hear that you're still out of work man, but it's great that you are reconnecting with your kids like that! I still hold that events happen to us for reasons we can't necessarily grasp at the time. Maybe it was your time to get to know your family again. Bummer about the 401k though.
I dig your website and the work you've got on there. I have a feeling if we ever met we'd have much to talk about. On that note I only have a few constructive criticisms.
1. I like the main navigation page. You have good use of negative space around the central navigation menu. There is a lot of interesting stuff going on in that central area, but it almost feels too busy. I wonder if some of those sections could be combined to reduce clutter, and some of the less important stuff shrunk down to be less prominent. If you're presenting this to a potential employer, they're probably not going to care very much that you are an avid gamer/trekkie/etc. (unless they are as well, but it's less critical to the work you're going to be doing.) Which brings me to point 2...
2. Be clear about what you want your future career to be. It's awesome that you have all these varied interests and creative outlets, but if you are looking for a job programming, or in management, or whatever, they're probably not going to be important.
3. Continuity. Like I said, the main page uses negative space well, but that isn't continued to the rest of the site. You used similar art elements, but it feels different because of the layout. I would try to unify the nav page and the rest of the site a little better.
4. Just checked your source code. Did you have to use tables? Tables are sooo passé.
But seriously, there is a better way to set that up than tables. CSS is your friend.
Hey I would also be curious to hear from anyone else who turned their status from "unemployed" to "freelance consultant." How'd it work out for you? Anyone else starting to feel, looking back, like working for "The Man" was for chumps anyways?
Or am I just experiencing a strong case of Sour Grapes?
If I had the confidence to think I could step out without taking a pay cut (I make, all told, about $60K now--but I'm a wimp when it comes to big life/family risks), I'd be right there with you.
Congratulations, Imbarkus. That's good to hear. I mean, not the working too long hours part, the having a job part. But in this economy, having too much work is better than having not enough work.
Gratz and condolences. Yeah, being able to support the family is priority #1, but there are definitely down sides when you are lumped with a ton of responsibility.
Hope everything works out for you. You can always play tetris in your sleep!
As someone who, over the past few years, has risen in the IT department of a small company from being a developer with a developer as a manager to being that developer manager with a developer, it's kind of amazing what higher-ups expect out of us.
I will agree that learning to say "no" is highly important, but I've also learned the following:
- When important devices start going bad, and replacing them isn't cheap, pushing for a quality replacement in a timely manner can mean the world (or in my case, when our backup power supply got real flaky, it can mean losing a server from excessive reboots due to brown outs).
- Training can be overlooked by higher-ups as unnecessary expenses, when in fact they can be some of the best ROI.
- Supporting those that work for you and standing up for them. Protecting them some times, and knowing when to step back and let them defend themselves.
- Supporting those that work for you and standing up for them. Protecting them some times, and knowing when to step back and let them defend themselves.
Le sigh... If only everyone would follow this practice, I wouldn't have lost my job last friday.
I am ready to move on. And I am pretty sure I was ready to move on before, I just got caught up in the fact that people kept telling me how great I was. Seems that is not enough to keep an IT job these days =(
Geez, Fang, good luck. I'm sorry to hear it.
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