When you cry manly tears of manliness

Wow, it got real dusty in here...excuse me...

The pain that man must feel is unfathomable to me. I can't even grasp the depth of despair to lose a child that young. Mine is 16 years old, perfectly healthy in every way, and for him to die is still my greatest fear. Not for what he went through or what he will be missing, for that will not trouble him any more. Not for what it will do to me, although I would be all but destroyed. Instead, because I don't think I could bear watching my wife go through it. That would end me.

I'm not sure it will be any easier if it happens when he is 20, 30, 50. I wish, often, that I never have to find out.

After our dog died Mrs P and I had that conversation. The conclusion was that if we lost our boy it would end us. Neither of us would be able to go on.

I am not really the religious type, but someone had posted this on my FB page and I thought I would share.

Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month. The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated these words:

Dear God,

Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her. She likes to swim and play with balls. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.

Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized her right away.

Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I'm easy to find. I am wherever there is love.

Love, God

Wow...that is...wow...

Unknown Soldier wrote:

The pain that man must feel is unfathomable to me. I can't even grasp the depth of despair to lose a child that young. Mine is 16 years old, perfectly healthy in every way, and for him to die is still my greatest fear. Not for what he went through or what he will be missing, for that will not trouble him any more. Not for what it will do to me, although I would be all but destroyed. Instead, because I don't think I could bear watching my wife go through it. That would end me.

I'm not sure it will be any easier if it happens when he is 20, 30, 50. I wish, often, that I never have to find out.

Prozac wrote:

After our dog died Mrs P and I had that conversation. The conclusion was that if we lost our boy it would end us. Neither of us would be able to go on.

It just depends on the situation. We had triplets and one had to have two major surgeries within his first 36 hours and a third a week later. Unfortunately he got and infection and due to his size and age passed away 60 days later. He fought hard but life slowly slipped out of his grasp.

But the important part for Griffith and myself was you had to go on. Bills had to be paid, rents were due, mortgages had to met and in my case particularly two other babies raised. So as he put it well, you man up. You get what needs to be done, done and you suck it up because life isn't fair.

And ever so often, when you think you can or feel safe to, you let it out. The triggering of it can be odd, I remember watching the Dead Island trailer over and over, wailing, and wanting a game where I get to save my son from a zombie hoard because that I know. That I could do or at least get to take my grief out on something. Not just watch him screaming soundlessly in pain for 60 days all the while getting weaker and weaker. In a odd way though, I seek it out those triggerings which can be found in such places as The Road, The Grey and The Walking Dead and find a strange comfort in them. Perhaps its the feeling that I'm not the only one and for me maybe that's enough. Maybe they are the pokes needed to finally begin to vent a little but privately, at first, on forums with people you will never know me.

But to come back to the point, if that anchor isn't there, something to force a couple together I can certainly see it getting very rough. Due to our circumstances we have come in contact with a few couples in that situation and the grief can just play havoc with them. Myself and my wife agree that if we didn't have the other two lads we... well I would rather not speculate.

Veloxi wrote:

Wow...that is...wow...

Yeah. I'm a proud Athiest but whoever in the postal service went to that much effort for that little girl is no less than a hero.

Parallax Abstraction wrote:
Veloxi wrote:

Wow...that is...wow...

Yeah. I'm a proud Athiest but whoever in the postal service went to that much effort for that little girl is no less than a hero.

Same, that is truly awesome. As an atheist I still believe an individual's faith to be sacrosanct and in need of preservation. That is the most thoughtful and selfless thing I've read in a while. Thanks for sharing.

Also, dusty...

Apparently the letter is real.

http://www.snopes.com/glurge/abbey.asp

That's incredibly touching.

Pets and children ruin me. Stories about both...? Very dusty.

I just found this thread and I've spent the last couple of hours reading up 'cause nobody likes a skimmer. All I can say is 'Wow', there's a LOT of dust in the air tonight.

As for me, a lot of the dustier things have already been mentioned, but I need to give them their due...

Wall-E-The closing credits.
Up-When he looks at the book.
Toy Story 3- I saw this in the theater with a friend. The ending got to me so badly he leaned over and asked " What the hell is the matter with you?" Embarrassing.
50 First Dates, when Lucy wakes up on the boat; priceless. Sandler, who knew?
I Am Legend-From the moment Will Smith wakes up suspended upside down until the scene in the lab. The dog gets me every time. I guess I wasn't alone, the scene was re-edited when it got to cable.

But that letter... somebody's been cutting onions and rubbing the juice in my eyes, damn you.

sr_malo wrote:

50 First Dates, when Lucy wakes up on the boat; priceless. Sandler, who knew?

I was honestly and completely amazed at how charming Sandler was in that movie. Made me like him a LOT more as an actor after that.

Axon - thank you for taking the time to share. My condolences on your lost but am sure your words will help comfort others.

Thank you for sharing, Axon. Much love your way.

And read the top comment:

My 3 year old said his first word today. He said his name, "Jack", while pointing to a picture of himself. Later, while driving to the grocery store, this song came on my iPod and I just broke down crying because I suddenly remembered one of his therapists telling me more than a year ago that speech and language delays are like a traffic jam in the brain, and this song was just too perfect. I thank my stars for green lights today :D

WHY DO I READ THIS THREAD AT WORK?

50/50

Holy crap.

IMAGE(http://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/50-50-Movie.jpg)

Watched Up yesterday. Owned the blu-ray forever but hadn't watched it since seeing in the theater. Wow. That movie went from a 6-7 to a 9. And that opening still is some of the most powerful moviemaking Pixar has ever done.

Oh yeah, that movie makes me into a little bitch. Favorite Pixar movie.

lostlobster wrote:

Watched Up yesterday. Owned the blu-ray forever but hadn't watched it since seeing in the theater. Wow. That movie went from a 6-7 to a 9. And that opening still is some of the most powerful moviemaking Pixar has ever done.

Yeah, the transition from them painting the nursery, to the doctor's office, to looking out the window at her just not looking at anything. Still kills me. My wife can't watch the entire opening segment due to that.

The segment where Russell talks about how his dad's new lady says he calls too much really set me off too, as I was that kid a while back.

Demosthenes wrote:
lostlobster wrote:

Watched Up yesterday. Owned the blu-ray forever but hadn't watched it since seeing in the theater. Wow. That movie went from a 6-7 to a 9. And that opening still is some of the most powerful moviemaking Pixar has ever done.

Yeah, the transition from them painting the nursery, to the doctor's office, to looking out the window at her just not looking at anything. Still kills me. My wife can't watch the entire opening segment due to that.

Yeah, I totally turn into a blubbering idiot around then.

Saw this in the NYT yesterday. If you can get through that film without dust mites, you're the manliest.

jonnypolite wrote:

Saw this in the NYT yesterday. If you can get through that film without dust mites, you're the manliest.

Almost made it. Almost.

Having two young boys meant there was no way I was getting all the way through it without a sniff or two.

Wreck it Ralph had a surprisingly high amount of dust in the theatre.

YMMV, but it was the small 4.5 year old daughter (who has more than a passing resemblance to Vanellope) squeezing my hand that stirred up the most dust.

Spoiler:

But Daddy, Ralph was just trying to save her, re: the smashing of her car. Mentos volcano Bad-anon affirmation...

Two or three times I was thankful for the dimness of the theatre.

Also, the "Paperman" short they played ahead of the main feature tugged a bit at the heart strings thanks to child enhancement "Daddy, he just wants to love that lady"...

IMAGE(http://comicsmedia.ign.com/comics/image/article/122/1222769/spider-men-revealed-20120411001344174-000.jpg)

Spider-men by Brian Michael Bendis was a Christmas present to myself :P.

The Spider-man of our world goes to the ultimate universe where Peter Parker has died and another young kid has taken on the mantle. Bendis's writing is pitch perfect (as it often is) as 'our' Peter learns about the other Peter's fate and talks to significant people in the other universe (sob.) It sounds silly written down like this but Bendis makes it real. It probably helps to have read the Ultimate spider-man books and to have formed a deep attachment to that other Peter.

I have not shared this with many people on this site as the wound was too deep and I keep alot of my personal life to my self here. One year ago today, my older sister, the other middle child in my family, the sibling I was the most closest to growing up was brutally stabbed to death by the guy she was dating becuase she tried to break up with him. They found him the next day having sex with another woman in my sister's car. I have never cried more in my life that I can remember for the first 3 months after that.

They picked him up for parole violation and will be in prison until August of 2013, he has been arraigned(spelling?) and has had numerous hearings, and they are finally set to do jury selection in March.

This is not a comment to elicit sympathy, I just felt I had to write something on this day.

*hugs*

You may not have been trying to solicit sympathy but you have mine. Thank you for trusting GWJ enough to share that. I'm so incredibly sorry to hear about it. I hope justice is served for you and your family.

Parallax Abstraction wrote:

You may not have been trying to solicit sympathy but you have mine. Thank you for trusting GWJ enough to share that. I'm so incredibly sorry to hear about it. I hope justice is served for you and your family.

What PA said man, rough, really rough.