Awkward Changes and New Beginnings

I slog my way from the bus stop to the front door after a very long day, to be greeted by a barbaric yawp from the couch.

"Mom? Hey. How do I get my wife to go to bed with me?"

I stood there half in and half out of the door for a frozen second while my neurons wrenched themselves from mulling over the day's work troubles to full Mom-mode. But before my lips even parted for the string of questions lining up in my frontal lobes I caught myself. I remembered that I'd brought home Fable 2 the night before, and he had been home all day.

He had a big grin on his face. He'd probably been planning that particular heart attack for a couple hours. Once I could breathe again I muttered, "I guess I should be grateful one end is smart."

I asked him if he had a Condom (the game item) and he said he did, but he didn't want to use it. He wanted to start a family. Wince. I tried out what I remembered from the previous game. There were a few hilarious bad moves but that didn't get his horned and horny fellow where he wanted. We made a quick run to the bookstore across the way from the blacksmith's shop for some sage advice for the lovelorn and tried again.

A few fumbles and a decorous fade-to-black later, he got the predictable result of unprotected sex. After some thought and a couple rude suggestions from his sister who had put down her manga to see what the commotion was all about, he named the resultant house-ape JamesBond. I went to make dinner while he made farting noises over the cradle to make the baby laugh.

I didn't chose this little story because of the obvious morality play. For one thing, the kid in question is of an age where being married is a possibility (though I hope not to any of the current prospects). We long ago got past the embarrassment of any condom discussions and having to work out the game's corollary wasn't a big deal.

I know it can be hard to imagine when the when your kids are the age where the worst you have to worry about is watching your own language when they are blue-shelling you into eighth place again, there comes a day when when the conversations get a little more awkward. Once they're reach the M-rated age, you had better get prepared.

I feel like I've moved back in with my college roommates. I think back on those years and I remember all the stuff I saw and did. The all-night Talisman marathons running into the all-day D&D sessions. Drinking red Kool-Aid out of plastic skull goblets while plotting our way through our little weekly Elysium. The way a wooden practice sword stings your hand when you get in a good strike. I had this one friend who used to snort Vivarin and try to read religious materials upside down in between his turns in Axis and Allies. He was messed all kinds of up. For all my grousing I think this is an important stage of life. And for all my discomfort with parts of this, I wouldn't take away whatever their shape their stories.

When I'm stuck half in and out of the door with my jaw on the floor, I try to remember that no matter how awkward or embarrassing or shocking any one moment may be there will always be one just a little bit more so just around the corner.

Gaming parents in my particular place in life are rare beasts. Even with the self-selected older average age here, you guys are just starting your families. You're facing diapers and teething. My children are all 18 or older, and the youngest two just graduated from high school.

Or, to put it in proper terms, we raided Pomp and Circumstance. We got a tell from the last member of our group the day of the raid. We're no twinks, but we're buffed pretty good and I figured if we sheeped the trash between us and the Principal we should be able to pull the Superintendent without too much scraping. They drop the Ugly Acetate Armor, and in this school instance that's a Green item.

The post-raid wrap up had an even bigger surprise in store.

My younger daughter has been dating a young man for over six months now. Her brain is shut off as bad or worse as mine was when I was dating her father. After a couple months of dealing with her in this state, I actually called my mother and apologized for all the crap I put her through that summer after I graduated.

The big hurdle is she was still in school and he was out and I'm the kind of jackbooted fascist who insists on things like curfews and not hanging out unsupervised. After a few false starts and teary arguments, we negotiated curfews and various other lines in the sand. The biggest one of these being she had to graduate high school before anything went ANYWHERE.

But like all lovebirds, they wanted to be within arms reach every moment of every day. They solved the problem by him coming to the house every morning at 5am, her cooking him and her sister breakfast. Then after they've eaten he drove the girls to school. Then after school he'd pick her up and they'd spend every single second possible that they both weren't either at work or church together up until curfew. The day then usually culminated in coming back to the house for dinner and 15 minutes of goodbye-ing on the front porch with me standing awkwardly in the kitchen trying to decide if it was time for me to gently and politely remind them that it was time for him to head home.

Okay, sometimes I wasn't too gentle. After the fourth time I spoke up and they didn't even come up for air they both deserved it. But I respected the dedication on his part for getting up like that, and hers for actually learning how to do more in the kitchen than burn boiling water. I was very grateful that they returned the respect by following our agreements. And I can tell he loves her so very much.

The time they spent at my house told me a lot about their relationship. She fixes his car, and he buys her roses just because. There were a lot of afternoons alternating between Halo and Soul Caliber in the living room, depending on whose ego was most scorched at any given moment. He's better than her at FPS, but she's better than him at fighting games. When things got too tough on the one behind, they'd switch out. Conflict resolution skills are firmly in place there.

He's worked out a cautious truce with her twin, who at first was pissed off in a big way he was stealing her sister. The boys accepted him rather quickly, after a couple times catching them kissing when they were supposedly out there dealing with his balky headlights in the parking lot and embarrassing them.

I'd planned on surviving this week (which between graduation and my work has been a killer) and then sometime this weekend when the dust had settled sitting them down and finding out how we were going to do this from here on out. But my best-laid plans gang a-gley last weekend.

He asked me if he could talk for a moment so we went out onto the porch. And without further ado, he nervously asked me for permission to ask her to marry him.

While I was still standing there like he'd hit me in the head with a board, he launched into a recitation of the facts of the matter. He'd been planning this for months, but he'd waited until after graduation to do anything. He had bought her a ring and had been working to pay it off. And he'd already set his plans in motion to pop the question on their date already scheduled for the day after graduation. I just kept nodding while he talked and I tried to get two synapses on speaking terms.

I finally pointed out that I wasn't opposed to the match. And after we'd talked a moment, we agreed he'd better talk to the girl herself before we planned anything. When we went back inside, my sons asked him to have a little talk which I assume is going to be an expansion on the "you break her heart and we'll break your kneecaps" conversation they had already had.

For me, the intervening days have been spent trying to keep my head above water on the graduation front while keeping my mouth shut about the big surprise. And while I stand here in the server room at work watching this computer do it's thing, somewhere on a beach in Seattle my little girl is getting handed the first really big shock of her life. And I know in a few years, her own little ones will start throwing her a whole new set of awkward surprises.

I can hardly wait.

IMAGE(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v48/mszilla/th_dandt.jpg)

Drinking red Kool-Aid out of plastic skull goblets while plotting our way through our little weekly Elysium.

Does his wife know?

Here's to hoping it works out. I'm only 21 and I've still seen way too many people I know get married fresh out of high school and a few years later it's unbelievable the change.

Hope springs eternal.

You have a beautiful daughter, momgamer. And they seem a lovely couple. Congratulations (assuming she'll say HELL YEAH of course)!

Btw, he should have just said "All your daughter are belong to us!"

I'll toss my hat on the 'wow, that's young, but I wish them all the best' heap. If she does accept (and your post strongly suggests that she will) I will say congratulations! Also, I take it she doesn't read Gamers With Jobs?

Congratulations Momgamer! Fantastic story and very touching

Congrats! I know folks who were high school sweethearts and were married for many many years and still are

Congratulations! That's really exciting.

Financial advice and planning are now necessary. Newlyweds are nearly always worse and possessed of less brains than people in the premarital stage. Make their plans with them, make sure they follow it, and photograph them while they're still sporting the mindless stares.

Wow, did you try too explain too either of them how much they change post high school? Any plans for college?

First of all, congrats!

Second of all, I married my high school sweetheart. Granted, not right out of high school, but only a year after she graduated. We were 20 and 18. We just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary.

I wouldn't recommend getting married so young, but there is some advantage to starting out a life together. For one thing, we didn't have to integrate our lives because we didn't have much in the way of material possessions and I was still in college. The college thing did become an issue, but we got by it.

We learned to be happy with having very little. We learned to find joy in each other's company rather than material possessions or careers. Money issues have stressed us much less than some of our peers that got married much later. We didn't have kids until we'd been married awhile though. We were still young compared to most of our peers when they had kids, but I would definitely encourage people to have some time to themselves before they bring a kid into the equation.

However, it is a lot of hard work and it can be challenging. It is not all sunshine and rainbows, but 15 years later I don't regret it a bit.

Whatever happened to living in sin for a while before getting married? I lived with my wife for like five years before I got married. I don't understand kids these days.

They're wayward examples, Funkenpants, no doubt led astray by the terrible example set by their parents. Most kids would still opt to live in sin and wallow in lust, I think.

Funkenpants wrote:

Whatever happened to living in sin for a while before getting married? I lived with my wife for like five years before I got married.

Some people have morals? I didn't live with my wife at all before we got married.

Oh, and congrats mom They're quite the lovely couple.

Congrats. I remember my father saying we were too young (24!) to get married. Ten years and a grandchild later, and I don't think anybody cares how old we were when we got married.

AnimeJ wrote:
Funkenpants wrote:

Whatever happened to living in sin for a while before getting married? I lived with my wife for like five years before I got married.

Some people have morals? I didn't live with my wife at all before we got married.

Oh, and congrats mom They're quite the lovely couple.

Classifying people as immoral int his manner isn't really nice.

Dr.Ghastly wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:
Funkenpants wrote:

Whatever happened to living in sin for a while before getting married? I lived with my wife for like five years before I got married.

Some people have morals? I didn't live with my wife at all before we got married.

Oh, and congrats mom They're quite the lovely couple.

Classifying people as immoral int his manner isn't really nice.

So you have a better answer, right? Otherwise you're being just as conterproductive and 'not nice' as you're accusing me of being.

It's honestly as simple as I said it. Some people consider it immoral, wrong, whatever. Other people don't. If you don't think anything of it, then why does it matter to you? Clearly Funkenpants thinks nothing of it, and that's fine. It's his choice to "live in sin" as he put it, just as it's mom's daughter's choice not to.

Alright guys, I think this is not the place.

Congrats momgamer! They're a lovely couple, and we ALL wish them the best of luck. You, too.

I think you've found one of those elusive creatures that appear to be upstanding and forthright young men. I can hardly wait to see what happens in ACNB Part 2 (the engagement), Part 3 (planning the wedding) and her sister's saga.

Congrats on the Graduations! Mom Achievement Bonus Unlocked!

New Power: +10% chance to have grandkids per annum.

LarryC wrote:

New Power: +10% chance to have grandkids per annum.

New Power: Passive smugness about how right you were.

Big grats!

Congrats MomGamer, They look like a beautiful couple

Good read.

I always disliked the term living in sin. Perhaps living in more sin.

Congrats, Momgamer.

AnimeJ wrote:
LarryC wrote:

New Power: +10% chance to have grandkids per annum.

New Power: Passive smugness about how right you were.

Very nice.

Congrats to the two love birds. Are you sure your daughter will say yes though?

How is Tweddle M taking the news?

Congrats to them both, and you!

Congrats to them! I wish them both the best.
I hope everything goes well.

Are you sure he isn't a vampire? Because he kind of looks like a vampire. That might mean your daughter is a vampire now, too.

In any case I wish them eternal bliss.

When I got married it wasn't to my high school sweetheart, it was to my best friends girlfriend. Yes, that's right, my life is a Cars song. It didn't end well. Who'da thunk that marrying someone who cheated on her previous boyfriend with me would turn out to be a bad idea?

My children learned from my mistake, thank goodness.

Congratz on the new addition to your family momgamer.