Total Recall: Yet Another Remake...

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http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/...

Contemporary setting? What, is there going to be no Mars, no three-boobied hoes? Maybe Sharon Stone will at least make a cameo-- the aerobics instructor on TV perhaps? Ugh, next they're going to remake Blade Runner. I weap for my unborn children.

I was watching this the other day.... it's a classic....

NO MORE REMAKES!!! Goddamn it Hollywood... think of something NEW!!!

Really!?!?

f*ck off. f*ck RIGHT OFF. TOTAL RECALL DOES NOT NEED TO BE REMADE. NOT EVEN CLOSE. DON`T REMAKE ARNIE MOVIES. JUST DON`T. f*ck OFF AND DIE.

Starring Shia LaBeouf and Miley Cyrus as Melina...

[quote][Quaid points a gun at Dr. Edgemar's head]
Douglas Quaid: All right, let's say you're telling the truth and this is all a dream, I could pull this trigger and it won't matter.
Dr. Edgemar: It won't make the slightest difference to me Doug, but the consequences to you will be devastating. In your mind I'll be dead, and with no one to guide you out, you'll be stuck in permanent psychosis. The walls of reality will come crashing down. One minute, you're the savior of the Rebel cause, next thing you know you'll be Cohaagen's bosom buddy. You'll even have fantasies about alien civilizations as you requested, but in the end, back on Earth you'll be lobotomized! So get a grip on yourself Doug, and put down that gun!
Douglas LaBeouf: No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

What. The. Hell.

It's lame, but they'll keep making them as long as people keep seeing them. If you don't like remakes, don't pay for them.

It's just like with video games: they're trading on name recognition and nostalgia to get you to buy a product you might not otherwise. Most likely, Splinter Cell: Conviction will sell more copies because it's called "Splinter Cell" than it would if it were called something else. Likewise, a Total Recall remake is going to get more sales and attention than it would if it were an original science fiction movie.

So yes, it's just a matter of time until we see remakes or "re-imaginings" of all kinds of movies, including genuine classics like The Godfather. Science fiction movies are more prone to this because fans are apparently always willing to shell out for updated special effects, but it'll happen to most everything eventually if there's money in it.

I think some remakes are justified - and in games more so than in movies. How many of us have old games that we love dearly but have dated so badly that we'd kill for a graphical update? Look at the Monkey Island thread for evidence of that.

Movies, not so much. While better special effects are nice, movies are like a snapshot of the time they were made. They're heavily reliant on the performances of the actors. Remakes tend to be entirely different beasts from the original, and for very little reason.

Reboots I have less of a problem with - the Star Trek movie, for example, or the new Bond movies with Daniel Craig. At least they take the franchise in a different direction, and they add something new.

Rallick wrote:

I think some remakes are justified - and in games more so than in movies. How many of us have old games that we love dearly but have dated so badly that we'd kill for a graphical update? Look at the Monkey Island thread for evidence of that.

Movies, not so much. While better special effects are nice, movies are like a snapshot of the time they were made. They're heavily reliant on the performances of the actors. Remakes tend to be entirely different beasts from the original, and for very little reason.

I find these two paragraphs to be interesting back-to-back. Video games are very much a snapshot of the time in which they were made, and the best ones used the technology of the day to its fullest in order to create a compelling experience. Games like Final Fantasy VI or Doom or The Ocarina of Time were perfectly made and wouldn't be much improved by modern high-tech wizardry. It's like colorizing black-and-white movies; sacrificing the original for the sake of the new. I guess I just don't see how remaking Total Recall is abhorrent when we're all such fans of an endlessly self-cannibalizing industry.

I don't think the games industry is endlessly self-cannibalizing (yet!). Not terribly innovative at times, perhaps, but they're not quite feeding off the corpses of long-dead games and regurgitating the partially-digested remains...

The main remake that I can think of (other than the Monkey Island one) is Tomb Raider Anniversary. In my opinion it was a huge improvement over the game that spawned it, the puzzles were more interesting and the graphics were miles ahead. It's a good example of using newer technology to improve a game.

With movies, you cannot improve the performance of the actor with technology. Either the acting and storytelling is good, or it's not. No amount of special effects will change that. Remakes will mostly add nothing, and frequently detract from the original.

Edit: I agree with your point that games can be just as much a snapshot of the time they were made as movies. I guess I didn't think that point through enough

the one we have is hard to beat... why even go there

I'm actually interested in this one. I always thought that there were some great hard SF ideas behind the original that got saddled with Arnie's cheesy corn. They could pull a BSG and make this into a great movie. They won't, most likely, but they could.

The setting duality in the first movie was unparalleled by anything else I've ever seen. The movie blows my mind every time I see it. Without the unanswered question of if Quaid is dreaming, it's just another sci-fi action flick, and I have a hard time believing that a remake could recapture that feeling.

lostlobster wrote:

I'm actually interested in this one. I always thought that there were some great hard SF ideas behind the original that got saddled with Arnie's cheesy corn. They could pull a BSG and make this into a great movie. They won't, most likely, but they could.

I'm with you. Loved Total Recall, but I don't have quiite the rose-colored glasses everyone seems to have about it. It had that layer of Hollywood cheese all over it. I'd like to see a modern version of the story. I think a director could take Philip K. Dick's story and really improve on the Arnie-style flick Total Recall was.

Duoae wrote:

NO MORE REMAKES!!! Goddamn it Hollywood... think of something NEW!!!

Hah! No but seriously how many remakes already exist in the video game world? [size=5]Square Enix[/size]

I really liked Total Recall when I was 12. Watched it recently and realized it was horrible - a B movie at best. I wouldn't mind seeing someone else take a crack at it. The idea behind the movie was so much better than the execution. Get a good director and some actors capable of playing up the psychological side of the story. Arnie is great at blowing up stuff and encouraging people to ride helicopters, but I've taken sh*ts better capable of emoting than the guy. Ask Arnie to convey the mental anguish of a man unsure of his identity and you'll get the same performance out of him as you would if you asked him if he'd like sprinkles on his donuts.

While they're at it, let's get Running Man, Hercules in New York, Kindergarten Cop and the California governor's race rebooted also.

caustic77 wrote:

I really liked Total Recall when I was 12. Watched it recently and realized it was horrible - a B movie at best. I wouldn't mind seeing someone else take a crack at it. The idea behind the movie was so much better than the execution. Get a good director and some actors capable of playing up the psychological side of the story. Arnie is great at blowing up stuff and encouraging people to ride helicopters, but I've taken sh*ts better capable of emoting than the guy. Ask Arnie to convey the mental anguish of a man unsure of his identity and you'll get the same performance out of him as you would if you asked him if he'd like sprinkles on his donuts.

While they're at it, let's get Running Man, Hercules in New York, Kindergarten Cop and the California governor's race rebooted also.

Hmm..

No.

Seriously. With so much good sci fi writing out there that has yet to make it to the screen, why are there so many of these remakes out?

Who WOULDN'T like to see a Neil Stevenson novel done up as a big budget hollywood flick? Crap, that stuff is MADE for the movies. With all the green crazy stuff right now, Zodiac would be PERFECT summer fare.

We only have ourselves to blame or at least all the stupid people who keep making Hollywood money by going to see these movies.

quick example from reading the Wolverine thread that it was a steaming pile that you shouldn't waste your money on yet...... $170,843,712...... Terminator Salvation? 90m so at least they might take a serious beating on that one.

Paleocon wrote:

Seriously. With so much good sci fi writing out there that has yet to make it to the screen, why are there so many of these remakes out?

Who WOULDN'T like to see a Neil Stevenson novel done up as a big budget hollywood flick? Crap, that stuff is MADE for the movies. With all the green crazy stuff right now, Zodiac would be PERFECT summer fare.

Amen, Snow Crash, and Cryptonomicon could be made into awesome flicks. Problem is Total Recall will make a lot of money, and that's what the industry is all about. (Come to think of it, that's what most industries are all about..)

Alexander wrote:

Hah! No but seriously how many remakes already exist in the video game world? [size=5]Square Enix[/size]

Not that many actually... Square enix doesn't release many remakes most of them are just the same game re-released or an expansion to a popular game

Up next year: Arthur C Clarke's 2001 Space Odyssey starring some of the cast of BSG along with Nicholas Cage as Dave and Leonard Nimoy as Hal 9000.

Part of the original Total Recall's magic was not only due to Arnie, but also due to Paul Verhoeven being the director. It takes the sardonic Verhoeven to create these cheesy absurdist dystopias.

Duoae wrote:
Alexander wrote:

Hah! No but seriously how many remakes already exist in the video game world? [size=5]Square Enix[/size]

Not that many actually... Square enix doesn't release many remakes most of them are just the same game re-released or an expansion to a popular game

Up next year: Arthur C Clarke's 2001 Space Odyssey starring some of the cast of BSG along with Nicholas Cage as Dave and Leonard Nimoy as Hal 9000.

Considering how cool Clarke's vision was and how badly we suck in comparison, shouldn't we push the date up to 2100 or somethingto give us a fighting chance at not looking retarded?

Gorilla.800.lbs wrote:

Part of the original Total Recall's magic was not only due to Arnie, but also due to Paul Verhoeven being the director. It takes the sardonic Verhoeven to create these cheesy absurdist dystopias.

and to totally ass rape Starship Troopers.

I swear, even a homo-themed, sensitive Ang Lee version of Starship Troopers would have been a vast improvement over Verhoeven's.

caustic77 wrote:

Arnie is great at blowing up stuff and encouraging people to ride helicopters, but I've taken sh*ts better capable of emoting than the guy. Ask Arnie to convey the mental anguish of a man unsure of his identity and you'll get the same performance out of him as you would if you asked him if he'd like sprinkles on his donuts.

Actually, I thought casting Arnold Schwartzneggar was brilliant. Arnie knows how to act like an action hero, and that works here because Dennis Quaid really did think he was in an action hero situation. Whether or not the events really happened is left up to the viewer, but in Quaid's mind at least, there was no doubt. In fact, I don't think the movie would've worked nearly as well (or at all) if Quaid had been less sure of the events around him, or had he acted less like a stereotypical, cheesy Hollywood action hero. The movie needed someone like Arnold to work.

I think Total Recall is one of the greatest sci fi flicks ever made. I can't imagine they could ever do the idea justice in a remake, mainly because the "reality or lobotomy?" trick on the viewer is one of those Herculean narrative feats that can be pulled off once in a great while. We're all aware of it, we have our own opinions on it, and so lightning just can't strike twice.

Paleocon wrote:
Gorilla.800.lbs wrote:

Part of the original Total Recall's magic was not only due to Arnie, but also due to Paul Verhoeven being the director. It takes the sardonic Verhoeven to create these cheesy absurdist dystopias.

and to totally ass rape Starship Troopers.

I swear, even a homo-themed, sensitive Ang Lee version of Starship Troopers would have been a vast improvement over Verhoeven's.

I actually LOVE Verhoeven's Starship Troopers. He took the source material and departed with it into a wholly alien territory, that's true. But taken on its own, it's a work of political satire as an art form that is nothing short of genius.

ST2 and ST3, however, where complete garbage. No argument about that. But Verhoeven wasn't involved in making them.

KaterinLHC wrote:

I think Total Recall is one of the greatest sci fi flicks ever made. I can't imagine they could ever do the idea justice in a remake, mainly because the "reality or lobotomy?" trick on the viewer is one of those Herculean narrative feats that can be pulled off once in a great while. We're all aware of it, we have our own opinions on it, and so lightning just can't strike twice.

I'm completely blown away at all the love for Total Recall. I'm in the camp that the movie was pretty much a complete failure, led by the casting of The Arnie and the horrible sets and effects, and — yes — the directing. But then I don't like cheese, and Arnie always rubbed me the wrong way. Except in Terminator.

*shrug*

Chalk me up as another who loved Total Recall and Running Man.. perfect blend of cheese and action.. those movies just worked... and still work.

Paleocon wrote:

Considering how cool Clarke's vision was and how badly we suck in comparison, shouldn't we push the date up to 2100 or somethingto give us a fighting chance at not looking retarded?

That's never stopped Hollywood before...

Coming next 'fall', The Jonas Brothers in "White Christmas" (actually, Hollywood would never go for something as unoffensive and actionless with mild love interests as that... but you get my hyperbolic drift)

The thing that I hate about thinking of this remake is that you know it's going to be a PG-13, love-story driven, product placement ridden modern soulless blockbuster. The original movie wasn't exactly Oscar worthy but it is memorable for a reason.

If it doesn't have the 3-boobied chick and Arnold almost having his face sucked off, it isn't proper Total Recall.

Total Recall ROCKS, and Verhoven is a pretty good director, I loved his Starship Troopers... and Robocop anyone? Not liking this news of a remake.

Edit: The article makes it sound like it's just a different adaptation of the Philip K. Dick story, which I am fine with.

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