Random thing you loathe right now.

One of the reasons I don't see the point of birthdays is that if I want to get something for my wife, I just get it (expensive items require her to okay the budget). And then I give it to her. I don't see the point in waiting half a year for something she could be enjoying now. She could be dead tomorrow.

In general, we get one or two big ticket items for each other a year. One of them will be the agreed upon "birthday present." If anyone asks, we say that.

I'm pretty much on board with everyone else's Bridezilla advice, CinnaBonnonon.

Mimble wrote:

But tomorrow, I know I will be asked by family and friends alike (as I always am), "Ooh! What did Kepheus get you?" And then awkward silence because the answer is "A card. And we're going out for sushi." I think that they figure he doesn't care enough to buy me expensive presents and spoil me - but it's just not how we do things because that doesn't work for us. Still, there will be that moment of awkward silence and the "Oh, well,....that sounds OK." comment (and in a tone of voice that shows just how not OK they think that is).

I know Cracked is hardly the best source for sociology information, but there was a similar complaint when one of the female writers was listing out all the ways finding a non-diamond engagement ring was a bit of a pain. To her, a diamond ring is too expensive, supports a really screwed up labor system, and other colorful stones look prettier. But when she spoke to her other female friends about it, they all naturally assumed her fiancee was simply too cheap to get her a diamond even though she didn't want the diamond.

Our culture is screwed up.

Nexus double post. Weird.

Mimble wrote:

Mine is tomorrow, and I'm OK with having a birthday in that I am getting older - I don't mind that too much at all. It's just the rest of the stuff that goes with birthdays I'm not keen on. Kepheus and I don't do much for birthdays because we don't see the point of it. We get each other a card, and we go out for dinner - just us. And we like it that way.

That's pretty much how my family does it as well. We go out to eat somewhere, maybe there's a card, and that's the end of it.

I didn't think people actually expected lavish gifts after childhood. The birthday meal is expensive enough!

That said, a friend's birthday is a different matter. I'll usually get 'em a $20 giftcard or something along those lines.

I loathe my Movember mustache. A couple of buddies talked me into doing it with them and since I'd never grown one before, I decided that I'd commit to growing it until Dec 1st. Surprisingly, I've been told that it actually looks pretty good ("Looks like a real Navy chief's mustache") but I hate the damned thing. Still, it's sparked a number of men's health conversations, which was the point. And it's fun watching guys realise that they've been ambushed into discussing men's health issues with a doctor.

Bonnonon wrote:

Thanks everyone for the support. I think I will pull the health card. She was after all admitted to the hospital for a couple days last month due to a severe cold and asthma that made it so she had a horrible time breathing.

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't even feel obligated to pull out the health card. She's your daughter, and 'no' is the be all, end all. You don't like it, you're not comfortable with it, and Bridezilla can find the door if she doesn't like the answer.

Coldstream wrote:

I loathe my Movember mustache. A couple of buddies talked me into doing it with them and since I'd never grown one before, I decided that I'd commit to growing it until Dec 1st. Surprisingly, I've been told that it actually looks pretty good ("Looks like a real Navy chief's mustache") but I hate the damned thing. Still, it's sparked a number of men's health conversations, which was the point. And it's fun watching guys realise that they've been ambushed into discussing men's health issues with a doctor. :D

Look on the bright side; you're free to ignore March now, having gone over to the dark side.

AnimeJ wrote:

Look on the bright side; you're free to ignore March now, having gone over to the dark side. :P

March?

Coldstream wrote:

And it's fun watching guys realise that they've been ambushed into discussing men's health issues with a doctor. :D

That's pretty awesome.

... having to dig up installer disks for Pagemaker 7 and loading it onto a shiny new touch-screen computer because this user fears change.

Bonnonon wrote:
clover wrote:

Maybe you can find a frilly white little set of foul-weather gear?

I asked that question and it was shot down by my soon to be sister in law. In my part of the world it does not snow and if it does it is well past Christmas. If you want a white Christmas time wedding you need to go up into the mountains, but nope.. lets have a rainy miserable wedding. Maybe we will get lucky and it will reach the average high of 6 degrees.

*oh and she has changed the date twice and has not sent out the invitations yet...

Ugh. Wedding BS aside (seriously, I'd have a snow suit on under the kid's white dress), sorry to hear you have to be related to an insane person.

Coldstream wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:

Look on the bright side; you're free to ignore March now, having gone over to the dark side. :P

March?

Navy didn't waste any time brainwashing you. Mustache March? You know, that month where the entire USAF flying community(and any other careerfield they've infiltrated) celebrate the Glorious Mustache of Robin Olds?

AnimeJ wrote:
Coldstream wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:

Look on the bright side; you're free to ignore March now, having gone over to the dark side. :P

March?

Navy didn't waste any time brainwashing you. Mustache March? You know, that month where the entire USAF flying community(and any other careerfield they've infiltrated) celebrate the Glorious Mustache of Robin Olds?

Wow. Four years in the USAF and I've never heard of it.

Standing up underneath an open cabinet. Also bruised scalps.

Tanglebones wrote:

Standing up underneath an open cabinet. Also bruised scalps.

Ugh! I KNOW how that hurts. Though with me it's usually on the hatchback of the car when loading or unloading groceries. You'd think I'd learn eventually...

I know this may come off as a bit harsh, and I know today being Veterans Day is not the best time, but I'm tired of the oversatuation of the "appreciate the veterans" stuff. Every sports game and every charity it seems like it's "appreciate the veterans". Trust me, I get that they risked themselves. They probably had friends that didn't come back, too. BUT I feel that it's a bit much when every corporation does it no matter where I go, and I have to acknowledge their sacrifices. Is there such a thing as too much for this, or is it sacred and off limit?

Maybe it's because I go to a lot of sports games, but I'm starting to feel like not standing up and clapping anymore. There's only so much clapping quietly can do.

Vrikk, you can basically replace "Veterans Day" with a lot of stuff and you'd get the same feeling I have.

However, my cousin went and fought and had to deal with some horrible sh*t. I'd like a reminder of how comfy my life has been in comparison. Of course, that's not really why people do it. "Honor Veterans!" "Why?" "Because it's tradition!" "What does Honor even mean?" "Worthless platitudes and free meals and discount coupons!" "Yeah, that'll surely make the PTSD go away..."

America: the only way we know how to celebrate holidays is through capitalism or worthless platitudes. And bumper stickers.

Some veterans do prefer not to be thanked.

http://vuurwapenblog.com/2013/10/18/...

Vrikk wrote:

I know this may come off as a bit harsh, and I know today being Veterans Day is not the best time, but I'm tired of the oversatuation of the "appreciate the veterans" stuff. Every sports game and every charity it seems like it's "appreciate the veterans". Trust me, I get that they risked themselves. They probably had friends that didn't come back, too. BUT I feel that it's a bit much when every corporation does it no matter where I go, and I have to acknowledge their sacrifices. Is there such a thing as too much for this, or is it sacred and off limit?

Maybe it's because I go to a lot of sports games, but I'm starting to feel like not standing up and clapping anymore. There's only so much clapping quietly can do.

I mentioned to somebody earlier that there must have been a record for empty gestures set today. I'd like to see a comparison of how much money they spend telling people that they appreciate the veterans and how much they actually give to help them. I bet that motorcycle Geico had made to honor the troops really does a lot.

I've actually heard from several veterans today that they, too, are a little uncomfortable with these frequent expressions of "thank you for your service."

Changing politics and national demographics are largely to thank, er, to blame.

Take the World War 2 generation. Almost 12% of the US population served in uniform during that conflict, a staggeringly large number. Additionally, the whole country experienced total war mobilization. If you were an able bodied US citizen and you worked in manufacturing, communications, agriculture, energy, transportation, whatever...a major percentage of your labor went directly or indirectly into the war effort. Everyone in the US experienced shortages and rationing of fuel, food, and durable goods. The nation was galvanized together to achieve one goal. Defense of the nation. Imagine that generation's shared experience of fighting together, grieving loss of loved ones together, working together, and eventually the shared joy of the war's end.

Compared to today's wars, the situation couldn't be more different. ABC News here in the US has the number of uniformed soldiers today as a minuscule 00.7% of the US population. Beyond the individual families who have moms, dads, brothers, or sisters in uniform, there is no "homefront." There's no shared sacrifice, no shared rationing, nothing really at all that impacts the lives of everyday American citizens that would even remind us that we're at war, that we've actually been at war for longer than any other war in US history. Yet, despite this fact, if you never hit the news sites, it's quite possible to forget that a war is even going on.

Part of me wonders if this whole hyper attention to recognizing those who serve (or who have served) isn't compensation for how sterilized and painless the war experience has become for those of us here at home. Some of the motivation may come from memories of how awful Vietnam veterans were treated when they returned from that war. And, of course, with the dying out of the WW2 generation, our national memory of the country's great shared struggle and sacrifice during war is fading away. *People who truly share an experience don't typically feel the need to thank each other.*

I don't know what the answer is here. I just know the whole situation make me feel kinda sad.

EDIT: Incomplete thought, clarification.

Edwin wrote:

Some veterans do prefer not to be thanked.

http://vuurwapenblog.com/2013/10/18/...

This divisiveness on whether they even like it or not is why I personally tend to shy away from it.

Vrikk wrote:

I know this may come off as a bit harsh, and I know today being Veterans Day is not the best time, but I'm tired of the oversatuation of the "appreciate the veterans" stuff. Every sports game and every charity it seems like it's "appreciate the veterans". Trust me, I get that they risked themselves. They probably had friends that didn't come back, too. BUT I feel that it's a bit much when every corporation does it no matter where I go, and I have to acknowledge their sacrifices. Is there such a thing as too much for this, or is it sacred and off limit?

Maybe it's because I go to a lot of sports games, but I'm starting to feel like not standing up and clapping anymore. There's only so much clapping quietly can do.

If it makes you feel any better, I kinda get tired of it too, and I'm a vet. Having recently gotten out, while there were plenty of good times and good memories, there's a lot of really heavy emotional baggage that comes with it. Things like watching coffins on HMMWVs roll out to the tarmac at Bagram to be flown home to loved ones, or watching crashes on Pred feed. Those things, they never really leave you, and never really get easier to deal with, and they come back just as much as all the good stuff, and for a lot of folks they come back even more readily.

Random loathe: I got a new functional manager (works out of Romania) around this time last year, and he started out having a clear plan and direction for our department--something I was hoping would happen. Since then, that plan & direction have barely been discussed, even though it is part of our goals for this year. I have about three things that are waiting for his input and he rarely responds. Every day I try to instant message him his status says he's in a meeting or busy.

The problem is that this manager is not the one who has 100% say in how complete my goals are. I'm also stuck because this manager has already slapped my wrist a few times for going off and doing my own thing without his approval first. This means I spend a lot of my day just sitting idle. Unfortunately, I think my disciplinary manager (works in my location) is getting upset that I'm not just moving forward with my tasks.

I'm basically screwed in all situations.

CptDomano wrote:

The problem is that this manager is not the one who has 100% say in how complete my goals are. I'm also stuck because this manager has already slapped my wrist a few times for going off and doing my own thing without his approval first. This means I spend a lot of my day just sitting idle. Unfortunately, I think my disciplinary manager (works in my location) is getting upset that I'm not just moving forward with my tasks.

I'm basically screwed in all situations.

Paper trail. Everything in emails or logs of some kind. That way, if someone tries to hold your feet to the fire about your productivity, you can demonstrate unequivocally that you've made all reasonable efforts to move ahead, but have been stymied by superiors.

Yeah, I've definitely been going that route--tracking tasks in a database with weekly updates that say things like "Team meeting cancelled for the third time, sent e-mail but no response". I hope it works, but the management here has a funny way of taking a paper trail and twisting it against the person anyway. Basically I'll still probably get hit for not "showing initiative" by escalating the issue, but if I did that I'd get hit for breaking chain of command. Then I'll be labeled as someone who is negative and blames others.

Well, if you have a Functional Manager and Disciplinary Manager, why can't you escalate through your Disciplinary Manager (thus not "breaking chain of command")?

Especially if you broach the topic by "playing dumb", such as:

"I'm really not sure if this is the right process, but here's the problem I'm having, and this is what I'd like to do to resolve it, but these are the challenges and pushbacks I've been getting from Functional Manager when I try to resolve this issue - what's the right thing for me to do?"

That would be the next step, but the Disciplinary manager has already told me to go around the functional straight to his boss and have them deal with it. Then the Functional would come in to tell me that I shouldn't be taking orders from the Disciplinary manager to begin with (it's already happened before). And the Disciplinary is the one that "controls" my goals for some reason, even though he technically has no say in how I should go about my day to day activities.

That being said, I think going to the disciplinary is really the only course of action I can take. It just sucks because I have a feeling it'll play out poorly.

CptDomano wrote:

That would be the next step, but the Disciplinary manager has already told me to go around the functional straight to his boss and have them deal with it.

Whatever email your disciplinary manager has said this in needs to be printed out, laminated and referenced in *every* email you send to your functional's boss about your projects that are not going forward due to lack of action by your functional boss.

...And therein lies the politics. The disciplinary knows better than to actually write an e-mail saying this--everything he does is verbal. Ever-y-thing.

Wear a wire?

I mean, if they're going to paint you as trouble anyway...

clover wrote:

Wear a wire?

I mean, if they're going to paint you as trouble anyway...

Domano comin'!