Random thing you loathe right now.

As others have said, if you need help, with **anything**, including help getting overseas, let us know.

You are family, and family is NEVER alone.

Oh Bonus, I am so so sorry. I know we're no longer in the Austin area, but if there is absolutely anything we can do for you, just name it. So much love to you.

Bonus, I'm at loss for words and cannot imagine what you're going through. Also for me: if there's anything I can do over here across the Atlantic pond just let me know.

Bonus, sorry for your loss.

*hugs*

As other have said, I'm so sorry for your loss. And if there's anything any of us can do, we're here for you. Sending lots of love your way.

Bonus, that is the most heartbreaking thing I think I've ever read here. My thoughts are with you, buddy.

My wife's lack of understanding for how estimates work for complicated things, like washing machine repair.

No, the repair guy does not know the price of the pieces we need. No, he does not know off-hand how long it will take to replace said pieces without going back to his office and looking at the schematics. Yes, it is unrealistic to expect him to be able to have an estimate 15 minutes after he leaves the house when he has three more repairs booked for the rest of the day.

Related loathe - Washing machine parts are freakishly expensive.

We have a dishwasher repair person coming in on Friday. We haven't had a working machine for 3 weeks, primarily as a teaching tool to show our sons that rinsing dishes of heavier crud before putting it in the machine is important, so as to not tax it too much. Second, because I didn't want to pay the $100 service charge that I will be forking out to them once the repair company gets here. Thankfully it's only $100 out of pocket since we have a nice home warranty.

Each time we've been tempted to do a repair on a washing machine - more than just a plastic doohickey - it's been cheaper to just replace it.

mudbunny wrote:

My wife's lack of understanding for how estimates work for complicated things, like washing machine repair.

No, the repair guy does not know the price of the pieces we need. No, he does not know off-hand how long it will take to replace said pieces without going back to his office and looking at the schematics. Yes, it is unrealistic to expect him to be able to have an estimate 15 minutes after he leaves the house when he has three more repairs booked for the rest of the day.

Related loathe - Washing machine parts are freakishly expensive.

I gotta be honest when our washing last broke down the advice we got from everyone was "buy a new washing machine. It'll probably be cheaper". They weren't wrong either.

A friend noticed his clothes were not getting as clean as they used to. He always washed them in hot water, too, with lots of soap. So when he got to the point of routinely washing them twice, he got a bigger water heater.

That did not change the situation.

So he took the machine apart - he's an EE - and determined the pump was not working well. He got the price for a new pump, and it was like half the cost of a new machine, so he bought it and installed it himself. (He knew a new machine would be bigger, because wife, and he didn't want to have to upgrade the drain to the main outflow pipe.)

The new pump was so much more efficient that it filled his outflow sink before it could drain, so he had to upgrade the drain. Now he's out the cost of a new couple feet of plastic pipe, a bigger sink, a new pump for his washing machine, and a new hot water heater. (He did have a Shop Vac to clean the water up, so...)

And his clothes still needed to be washed twice.

Finally, he gave in and bought a new machine, for less than he had expected (on sale). Water usage goes way down per wash since he's not doing it twice. He's got more hot water for a longer shower, with his new heater. His clothes come out clean in one wash instead of two, reducing his soap usage. And he discovered that since the 90's, cold water enzymes have been a thing, so he switched to cold washes most of the time and saved even more.

He could have avoided all of it except the new sink and drain with a new washing machine in the first place. Granted, the new hot water heater was nice, but it's good to be able to do these things on your own timetable. At least now we've convinced him that "penny wise, pound foolish" is a real thing.

Moral - Stoves, dryers, washing machines and dishwashers are no longer designed to be majorly repaired at a reasonable cost.

Bonus, my deepest condolences. I just saw that castle a few days ago and it would be hard to pick a more beautiful, romantic, and peaceful resting place. Safe travels, and let me know if you want an airbnb recommendation.

Robear wrote:

And he discovered that since the 90's, cold water enzymes have been a thing, so he switched to cold washes most of the time and saved even more.

I’ve been washing my stinky sweaty work uniforms, including my socks, in cold water for about 10 years now. They come out perfectly clean and smelling great, and they don’t wear out as quickly. It turns out that hot water will make your clothes look faded and weathered. And hot water shrinks your clothes too, especially tee shirts. I have some beloved shirts that I bought from tee fury many years ago that look practically new because I’ve only ever washed them in cold water.

The benefit to hot water is that it works well with added bleach, for the really gross stuff, and you can use about a third less detergent (since more enzymes will activate in the higher temp). But yeah, I have found that a lot of people who grew up before the 90's have no idea at all that cold water washes are capable. They view them as something that poor people do to save money...

Yeah so hot water for towels and washcloths, that's about it.

Stele wrote:

Yeah so hot water for towels and washcloths, that's about it.

+1

I think the only things I've ever used hot water for are sheets and anything white that needs to be bleached. Even towels get washed with cold unless they fall into the bleach category above. I only use about a tablespoon of dry detergent too. That's another thing many people do...use way too much detergent than is really necessary.

I also wear my shirts and pants at least twice provided that I haven't really sweated in them and they pass the "stink test". Why wash more than necessary? Just wears the clothes out faster.

Hot water for gym clothes as well as you need to kill off some stinky bacteria.

Bruce wrote:

Hot water for gym clothes as well as you need to kill off some stinky bacteria.

If your gym clothes are wicking synthetic stuff, get something like Sports Suds - conventional detergents block the micropores that make the wicking work.

The European Commission has just enacted new measures stating the household appliances should be easily repairable for 7-10 years, spare parts should be available within 15 days and that all repairs should be accomplished with commonly available tools. This is pretty great.

I wash my merino gym gear after three uses (air out on the balcony in between) in 30C and they smell absolutely clean.

Minor loathe for me personally, though it angers me dis-proportionally, some phishing scam has been after me for about a month now and I immediately go from 0-100 on the anger scale when I realize it's them. Luckily I don't curse at them, I just tell them they have the wrong name (they always ask for the same person), and then they ask my name, I don't tell them, then they ask for my personal info so they can put me on a do not call list and I hang up. I have this weird thing where even though I know it's usually a scam (my friends almost never call me, and even rarer than that is a friend whose number I -don't- have in my phone, but for some reason I have a psychological need to pick up the phone. I think part of the reason that I get so upset is that my grandfather got hit hard by a really elaborate phishing scam and it's easy for me to deflect my anger about that to these guys. I know I just need to not answer the phone but for some reason that is just almost impossible for me; I have this idea in my head of proper etiquette that I developed over my childhood for just about everything and now it's screwing me over as an adult.

I totally, hear you, Doc. I always answer my phone. My job requires me to be on call and I have 3 active kids who participate in all sorts of activities, so you never know who is calling or why. But, when I get a scam/phsih/spam call, I simply don't interact and just hang up, then add them to my phone's block list. If I'm really in a bad mood, I'll drop an "F OFF!" before I disconnect. The reality is that there will always be people out there looking to prey on people. We just have to do our best to not let it get to us. For me, I'm about 50/50 on getting pissed off vs. just letting it go.

I just figure if it's important enough, they'll leave a message or send me a text/email. There are very few things I loathe more than answering the phone and dealing with minor anxiety attacks every time I hear one...which is why I have all my ringers turned OFF unless I am expecting a phone call at a pre-scheduled time (or a giraffe is about to give birth and I'm signed up for text alerts), not even on vibrate. I have no enjoyment of prying myself from the ceiling after a sudden panic due to a phone call.

Dr.Incurable wrote:

Minor loathe for me personally, though it angers me dis-proportionally, some phishing scam has been after me for about a month now and I immediately go from 0-100 on the anger scale when I realize it's them. Luckily I don't curse at them, I just tell them they have the wrong name (they always ask for the same person), and then they ask my name, I don't tell them, then they ask for my personal info so they can put me on a do not call list and I hang up. I have this weird thing where even though I know it's usually a scam (my friends almost never call me, and even rarer than that is a friend whose number I -don't- have in my phone, but for some reason I have a psychological need to pick up the phone. I think part of the reason that I get so upset is that my grandfather got hit hard by a really elaborate phishing scam and it's easy for me to deflect my anger about that to these guys. I know I just need to not answer the phone but for some reason that is just almost impossible for me; I have this idea in my head of proper etiquette that I developed over my childhood for just about everything and now it's screwing me over as an adult.

What might help is if your cell network provider has a service to label suspect numbers as likely spam callers. That might make it easier for you to resist the need to pick it up. Worth checking with the provider, I know TMobile does it.

And just now, mere hours after I posted that, I got a series of calls from unknown numbers. I answer all 5 of them. 3 of them were garbage spam/scam/phish calls. But the other 2 were work, and sure enough, I'm on the clock working tonight coordinating recovering from another outage. I loathe being on call for work. It is my goal to get this stupid voice infrastructure resilient enough that I never get a call for a phone outage again.

Huh, wrong thread...

I had a new record for spam calls. Must be some new call center. It's the same message warning you about something. Except the message plays at triple speed. So it's inaudible. Dumb but must be working on someone.

Chairman_Mao wrote:

What might help is if your cell network provider has a service to label suspect numbers as likely spam callers. That might make it easier for you to resist the need to pick it up. Worth checking with the provider, I know TMobile does it.

Also on T-Mobile here - you can forward any spam texts to SPAM REPORT, which helps flag them in future.

Dr.Incurable wrote:

I think part of the reason that I get so upset is that my grandfather got hit hard by a really elaborate phishing scam and it's easy for me to deflect my anger about that to these guys. I know I just need to not answer the phone but for some reason that is just almost impossible for me; I have this idea in my head of proper etiquette that I developed over my childhood for just about everything and now it's screwing me over as an adult.

To me, this has become a major loathe: Where we now live in a world where we are on edge against bullsh*t constantly. It's exhausting, but necessary, to operate on the assumption that every unsolicited email, phone call, letter and even online classified ad is someone trying to scam you until proven otherwise.