Random thing you loathe right now.

Almost every cultural thing has had a history of being sh*tty to people, and most are currently being sh*tty to at least some marginalized group. Making things objectively better is important, and not simply a matter of standing for a subjective belief.

Rykin wrote:
ClockworkHouse wrote:
Rykin wrote:

I am all for people speaking their minds and standing up for what they believe in

It's not about standing up for what we believe in, it's about standing up for ourselves.

So you don't believe in yourself? This is what I was saying you are trying to start an argument over semantics here.

Funny you should mention that, as it pertains to my current loathe.

For years, I suffered from severe lack of confidence. My abusive ex husband largely played a part in that too. I wouldn't say I'm in complete remission, but I now know that I'm good at my job. I'm damned good, better than a lot of my peers. And yet, these dudes at work keep trying to second guess me, and question my abilities, my judgment, even my choice of clothing.

It's not about standing up for what we believe in. It's about standing up for ourselves, about demanding the right to be taken seriously, not be objectified, beaten, raped or killed.

So when people complain about "outrage culture" they should understand that these are the stakes. It isn't just a mental exercise.

Exercising. Everything about it is terrible. I keep waiting for that endorphin rush people talk about, but I think it's being drowned out in a sea of sweat, pain, and self-loathing for getting so out of shape. It's the worst.

Actually, it's not the worst. People not listening to marginalized communities and individuals only trying to voice a concern about the negative stereotypes in culture that help shape the way young people react and relate to those different to themselves, and dismissing those concerns as "outrage culture" is worse.

But push-ups are right behind that sh*t.

trichy wrote:

Exercising. Everything about it is terrible. I keep waiting for that endorphin rush people talk about, but I think it's being drowned out in a sea of sweat, pain, and self-loathing for getting so out of shape. It's the worst.

Not to yum your yuck, but as a lifelong gamer, starting to exercise is the sh*t - you level up right quick!

It's the end-game gets grindy as all get out, though.

SallyNasty wrote:

So when people complain about "outrage culture" they should understand that these are the stakes. It isn't just a mental exercise.

trichy wrote:

Exercising. Everything about it is terrible.

Now that's how you segue.

Jonman wrote:

It's the end-game gets grindy as all get out, though.

This. 100x this.
I am stuck at a plateau on all 3 big lifts and it's getting very irritating.

Rykin wrote:
ClockworkHouse wrote:
Rykin wrote:

I am all for people speaking their minds and standing up for what they believe in

It's not about standing up for what we believe in, it's about standing up for ourselves.

So you don't believe in yourself? This is what I was saying you are trying to start an argument over semantics here.

You can't be serious with this comment. You just can't.

Hm. I've always proceeded with exercise with a simple rule - no pain, good!

In my forties, I'd build strength and flexibility first, using Starting Strength methods. I'd do that because you get a lot of strength quite fast. Strength and flexibility are key to avoiding injuries.

Once you get some strength in, that's when I'd do the cardio stuff. For what it's worth, I prefer cycling outside for my cardio, and I only pedal as much as is comfortable - less interval training and more just flexing my muscles because it feels nice.

I loathe that, while I've finally gotten into Persona 5 and I'm enjoying it, I'm really just using it to waste time.

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The internet was down for 3 hours.

WTF Spectrum.

Stele wrote:

The internet was down for 3 hours.

WTF Spectrum.

Nice, Ron.

My connection at home is pretty stable but I do get outages maybe 2 or 3 times a year.

But man, when it happens? Even just a couple hours without a connection makes me legit wonder how long it would take for a total breakdown of authority Mad Max style if there was a global outage for more than 24 hrs.

My program's attending psychiatrist. Just give me a straight answer, doc! I ain't got time for your nonsense today.

(He's a lovely man. He just likes to launch into "education" mode from time to time. Yes, I understand the possible secondary gains of this behavior and here are the implications if so... now give me a damn answer!)

Stele wrote:

The internet was down for 3 hours.

WTF Spectrum.

I wonder if something's going on with them here in NC. My Spectrum internet was down for *over* three hours early this morning.

Of all the wondrous things my daughter has given me, I like pinkeye the least.

I have an HBO subscription and amazon prime. According to HBO and Amazon I can't sign in on Prime with my existing HBO account. I have to create a new account (and, I assume, cancel my old account). Fine, I'll use the web browser. Open Silk (another loathe) navigate to hbonow.com. Click on existing account, sign in. Says I already have an existing account (which was the reason I clicked on the existing account button) with HBO. Click start streaming and it takes me back to the splash page as if I never logged in.

I just want to watch Deadwood while riding the spin bike. Is that too much to ask of two multi-mulit-billion dollar corporations? Can't they get their sh*t together enough for that to happen without making me cancel subscriptions and sign up for new subscriptions?

termites.

Aaron D. wrote:

My connection at home is pretty stable but I do get outages maybe 2 or 3 times a year.

But man, when it happens? Even just a couple hours without a connection makes me legit wonder how long it would take for a total breakdown of authority Mad Max style if there was a global outage for more than 24 hrs.

My travels have taken me to places where there is either absolutely no internet/phone, or where the connection is extremely tenuous. Where I currently am, for example, the internet is very slow (<2Mbit/s) and unreliable, and there is essentially no phone service outside of lodging areas.

It's fascinating to watch people arrive. Much like alcoholics detoxing, you see people almost have shaking hands and mental confusion. I watched one guy pull out his phone probably 20 times in the space of as many minutes, each time realising that he had no connnection. Some become irritable about it.

Then something interesting happens: people start looking around at their environment and start having actual conversations. Meals become a time to enjoy the view or converse with friends. The constant reaching for a cell phone diminishes. They start talking about how relaxed they feel. Books are popular, as are hobbies, sports, and small social gatherings.

Even a hardcore introvert such as myself does well. With noone expecting to reach me instantly, I have time to work on tasks as I choose without constant interruption. Downloading a modern game will probably take me 3-4 days at realistic speeds (using the 12am-5am free data window to avoid overage charges), so I get to work through my backlog.

So yeah, losing internet means losing a lot of conveniences and distractions, but it's actually pretty decent in a lot of ways too. I suspect that we'd avoid a Mad Max scenario pretty easily.

My GTX 1080 Ti died, and the damn things cost almost as much as they did 2 years ago.

I loathe the relatively recent trend of every damned website asking permission to send me notifications. Is there anyone who actually wants notifications from websites? If I care about your content enough, I'll visit sufficiently often to see it without prompting. If not, a notification is just an annoyance.

Granted, Firefox does give me the option to decline notifications (although the "never" option is oddly hidden and requires an extra click), but I wish there were some "never even allow the notifications question" setting just as there's a "do not track" setting.

It's a minor annoyance, but rubs me the wrong way when I visit a new website.

deftly wrote:

My GTX 1080 Ti died, and the damn things cost almost as much as they did 2 years ago.

It should still be under warranty if it's only 2 years old. Contact the manufacturer (not Nvidia, but like EVGA for example)

Agreed coldstream. Already enough notifications on my phone. The only one I might want on my desktop is email. Everything else can wait.

Chimalli wrote:
deftly wrote:

My GTX 1080 Ti died, and the damn things cost almost as much as they did 2 years ago.

It should still be under warranty if it's only 2 years old. Contact the manufacturer (not Nvidia, but like EVGA for example)

It is. I've already gotten an RMA for it from Gigabyte. Still annoying though.

Random loathe that's been slowly building over the past few years. I'm browsing online and see something cool and geek related (Superhero, Star Wars, etc.) and I think "oh wow, they're making that? I might actually want to buy it!" only to find out seconds later that it's a San Diego Comic Con exclusive they're advertising.

If you're going to make something cool for the fans, make it available to all fans in general, not exclusive to a localized event.

Tscott wrote:

Random loathe that's been slowly building over the past few years. I'm browsing online and see something cool and geek related (Superhero, Star Wars, etc.) and I think "oh wow, they're making that? I might actually want to buy it!" only to find out seconds later that it's a San Diego Comic Con exclusive they're advertising.

If you're going to make something cool for the fans, make it available to all fans in general, not exclusive to a localized event.

Every time I see one of those it is way more money than I'm willing to spend for whatever neat thing they're doing.

Not sure where to post, but here goes:

I'm at my wit's end with BF's parents. We both live with them and I'm at the point where I'm just constantly angry at them both for what I consider to be a complete lack of respect or consideration for me. BF lives there for free while I pay them a small amount per month. I cover my groceries and a portion of the bills basically; however, much more than that I do a f*ck ton of free labor for them all. I put in 15-20 hours a week cleaning, cooking, and so forth. Along with doing odds-and-ends for them. On top of that, I do 5-7 hours of work a week for my BF helping him clean a parking lot. And then I also prepare his work meals and other small things. Suffice to say, I'm giving up 20-30 hours of my time each week for other people.

I don't ask for much from them. The biggest thing I ask is that they discipline their unruly dog who really worsens my anxiety, but they refuse. They don't even try. And it is a complete slap in the face. His father has even said to me that if it came down between the dog and I, that I could "Get the f*ck out." His dad is a real piece of work who basically does nothing around the house but moan and groan about everything. His wife is his surrogate mom and I'm his live-in maid basically.

I keep to myself in the house and stay secluded in my room 90% of the time I'm here. And if I am not, it is because I am either doing chores or doing my own stuff for myself. Outside of that, I stay gone at the gym, the job, or elsewhere. I'm very quiet and do my best to try to not make noise.

I just feel like his parents care more about an animal than they do about me, the person that's been with their son for almost four years now. And the person who both spares them immense amounts of time doing chores. It utterly eats away at me how they put their dog ahead of how I feel. And to do so when I do metric f*ck tons for them.

Am I the asshole here? Am I missing a piece of the puzzle? I don't know, but I'm utterly sick with the situation and I've really begun to hate his parents and wish I had never met them. We can't move out because he has a health condition that severely limits his income. And he doesn't want me to move out because it would be really difficult on him. I'm not even sure I could due to my income situation.

BoogtehWoog wrote:

Am I the asshole here?

Probably not, but it almost doesn't matter either way. What matters is that this situation is untenable, regardless of fault.

Am I missing a piece of the puzzle?

Maybe. One thing that did jump out at me: you talked about the work you do for them. The implication seems to be that you're pulling your weight, you're doing work befitting of the housing you're provided. And that may be true. But from the story, it doesn't sound like they necessarily want the transaction.

Say you have a baseball card that is worth $100. I agree that it is worth $100. But just because you want to sell me the card, and I have $100 in my pocket, does not mean I want to buy it or should be expected to buy it, even if we all agree the value would be fair.

It sounds like, despite the work you do, they wouldn't miss you if you no longer lived there. To me, that sounds like an arrangement that one party no longer wants. And that dissatisfaction with the arrangement is manifesting in passive aggression.

I understand your boyfriend doesn't want you to leave, but IMO staying is not even an option. You either leave on your terms and with preparation, or you leave abruptly and without preparation when the situation deteriorates further.

*Legion* wrote:

It sounds like, despite the work you do, they wouldn't miss you if you no longer lived there. To me, that sounds like an arrangement that one party no longer wants. And that dissatisfaction with the arrangement is manifesting in passive aggression.

I understand your boyfriend doesn't want you to leave, but IMO staying is not even an option. You either leave on your terms and with preparation, or you leave abruptly and without preparation when the situation deteriorates further.

It's a hard assessment, but I find myself in agreement with it. In my experience, this sort of situation ends in one of three ways:

1) The parties make a genuine, sit-down effort to communicate and hash things out. This is tough, because emotions and personalities can make communication difficult, and there is inevitably going to be some anger to work through that can't be expressed loudly or aggressively. This is the only way that can improve the current living situation as-is.

2) One of the parties leaves as amicably as possible, with a reasonable time-frame and with the best-available plan for moving on. Difficulties here involve fear/anxiety about a situational change, monetary and other resources, and maintaining relationships.

3) Things end abruptly, usually with one or more parties having an emotional eruption. The benefit is that this ends things in a ripping-off-the-bandage sort of way, but it has a significant downside in terms of people suddenly finding themselves without a place to stay or other resources.

I'd recommend the sit-down "Hey, things are tense right now and I'd really like to have everyone sit down with a cup of tea and hear everyone's thoughts" with the second course in your back pocket. Otherwise, I'd agree with Legion that things are inevitably going to end with option #3.