Random thing you loathe right now.

Having a bit of a LiveJournal moment, need to air it out somewhere. Spoiler tags for:

- Wall o' text
- Whiny angst
- Massive amounts of TMI, at least in my head

Spoiler:

This week marks some awkward anniversaries, and even though I'm a few years removed from them, I can't help but reflect.

This past Thursday, the 18th, is the birthday of a girl who was probably the closest I've ever come to having anything resembling a girlfriend/SO. I met her through an online game back in 2010, got a bit smitten, met up with her a few times, it never really went anywhere. I was bad with mixed messages, and we both had some drama to sort through (her life was going through... upheaval, I think is the politest word for it, and she may not have been relationship-ready at the time). I stopped pursuing her after witnessing enough of her personal drama and absorbing enough of her disinterest, but I don't think I ever really let go. A few years later, in 2012 I think, I had a weird thought about her on her birthday, so I texted her almost out of the blue to wish her happy birthday. I was promptly buried under a ton of drama, not the least of which was that she had lost her job and had a miscarriage. We hadn't been "intimate", so that was a bit of a punch to the gut to know that less than two years after we stopped talking, she had been intimate with someone. I think since then (I may have been stalking her through her Skype status updates, don't ask), she has had a child, maybe two, and she might be married (I thought I saw a ring in one of her profile pics).

The more loaded one was from earlier this week, the 16th-17th. About three years ago, I met a different girl through a different game, and it turned into a weird mix between a summer fling and a one-night stand. This wasn't meant to be a "serious" "relationship", it was supposed to be "long-distance friends with benefits" or something. We spent all summer getting flirty and cybery online (which was a treacherous, drama-laden road in and of itself), and then we met up in NYC for what was going to be an intimate weekend together, the 16th through the 18th. Oh, and on top of all that, she was going to be my first, she knew it and I knew it. We got as far as "my first", and everything unraveled from there.

Those two heavily-abridged stories constitute the entirety of my "romantic life". Probably why I still cling to them so strongly. The stories themselves are less the issue as what they represent. It is one facet of my existence which has gotten harder and harder to ignore. The rest of my life is getting closer to balance: I have a good job, I'm taking better care of my body (than I have in the past), I have an acceptable if muted social life (I'm a shy extrovert and I appear to have befriended "true" introverts, not just other shy extroverts), but this one underdeveloped side of me is driving me crazier every day. Yet I do nothing about it. I'm just looking for balance here, as elsewhere: I don't want to swing for the sake of swinging, and I don't want to take a hatchet to my genitals.

This is a subject which makes me extremely uncomfortable and weird and often times exceptionally angry, unlike almost anything else out there. I'm angry when people are judgmental about it, and I'm angry/intensely jealous when people take it for granted (so almost every sitcom from the 90s and 00s are unwatchable to me in some capacity). The fact that it's an "it" probably tells you I have a lot of baggage wrapped up in the subject (thanks, 10 years in a f*cking hyper-conservative church!) and I'm far from a healthy perspective, despite the endless stream of raging hormones demanding to be heard.

I feel stuck. Trying to unstick myself seems to get me stuck even deeper. I'm my own worst enemy, beating myself down with fear, uncertainty and judgment. I'm sure as hell not going to "talk about it" with anyone, that's inevitably going to lead to empty exhortations and bullsh*t "advice" that all starts with my least favorite word, "just". Yes, I'm stubborn, I've been stubborn about this subject and I'll continue to be stubborn about this subject because I'm trying to protect myself at some level.

Sick of talking about this for now. Back to doing nothing about it until the next time I need to whine.

Gord Downie and the rest of The Tragically Hip just played their final ever concert.

mudbunny wrote:

Gord Downie and the rest of The Tragically Hip just played their final ever concert.

yeah but wow the turnouts across the country for the live screening events. As someone posted elsewhere

“This could be the biggest concert of the year in #Halifax and the band isn't even in the city.”

. Honestly I was never much of a fan personally but I appreciate the contribution they've made to music and the joy their music has brought to so many, I hope Gord had a blast for his final show.

krev82 wrote:

Honestly I was never much of a fan personally but I appreciate the contribution they've made to music and the joy their music has brought to so many, I hope Gord had a blast for his final show.

As I posted elsewhere:

Blasphemy to admit at this point that I was never really a Hip fan. That said, I've recognized pretty much every song they've played so far, and known the lyrics to more than a few. I guess that's the power of an iconic band.

Yeah, put me in the same boat. Not a fan of The Hip, but have nothing but respect for them and their fans. Say what you will about them, but they had several opportunities in their run to make those lyrics more accessible or to come off as less Canadian to attempt better international attention, and chose instead to be successful on their own terms.

Oh, and good work on calling out Trudeau on dealing with the First Nations reservations. Nothing but positivity towards him for the night, but now if his government doesn't improve things, comments about abandoning Gord Downie's dying wish will hound him for the rest of his career.

You know how you have that insane violent uncle in your family that no one will trust with a car and who everyone likes to pretend doesn't exist? He's our President. Dammit.

The current state of rap music. I loathe that lyrics aren't even needed to be a rapper anymore all you need is a good beat and a catchy hook that doesn't make any sense.

I got stung by bees - twice - on Wednesday evening while mowing the lawn. Once on the side, once on my right pinkie. The swelling was so bad in my hand that I decided to go see the doctor. He gave me prednisone, and prescribed epi-pens. The sting on my hand is a loathe, but that swelling is gone. Right now, I loathe the prednisone, because I can't sleep, and I think it's a side effect.

IMAGE(http://www.wearefine.com/mingle/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/oprahbees.gif)

That gif just never stops being great.

Thin_J wrote:

That gif just never stops being great.

It really is honestly one of my favorite things ever.

I would love to tell you about a game to avoid then, but then I'd be asking you to avoid a phenomenal game.

I loathe when I forget I'm in a new column and am too quick with shortcuts in LibreOffice, hitting "Shift+Ctrl+down arrow" then "Ctrl+V" and freeze the spreadsheet as it tries to paste a long formula into 1048576 rows.

Been ten minutes... don't think it's going to recover.

Car repairs on a ten year old car are not the cheap kind of car repairs.

This year's failed inspection item involves the front suspension.

Katy wrote:

Car repairs on a ten year old car are not the cheap kind of car repairs.

This year's failed inspection item involves the front suspension.

DIY?

IMAGE(http://images.wrc.com/News/2015/August/6543_evans-wishbone-fix-finland-2015_111_896x504.jpg)

Katy wrote:

Car repairs on a ten year old car are not the cheap kind of car repairs.

This year's failed inspection item involves the front suspension.

We don't have inspections anymore and the engine and drive-train (that's basically the Corinthian leather of mechanics) operate well but my 2006 VW Rabbit has some electrical issues and a headliner that's sagging don't take the bait that's a real softball but actually it's also true.

I can't roll down the windows for fear the draft will pull the headliner away from the roof even more. I'll probably be following something like this post on Instructables and fixing it myself.

I am...I am not very handy.

IMAGE(http://www.trents.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Headlight-fail.jpg)

Gravey wrote:
Katy wrote:

Car repairs on a ten year old car are not the cheap kind of car repairs.

This year's failed inspection item involves the front suspension.

DIY?

Car repairs much beyond replacing headlights is not our forte. I'm sure we'd come out ahead, even if you factor in purchasing all the necessary tools, but we'll pay the mechanic for this one. (DIY car repairs -- also not good for the blood pressure or marital harmony.)

Edit: Just took a closer look at that picture. Um.... nope! Though I suppose I could whip something up with this:

muraii wrote:

I can't roll down the windows for fear the draft will pull the headliner away from the roof even more. I'll probably be following something like this post on Instructables and fixing it myself.

Let me know if the recommended spray adhesive is any good -- the fabric panels on the interior doors of the *other* car could probably use re-gluing.

(And with a kid turning driving age at the end of the year, we kind of want to keep the old cars around for a while...)

A little protip to any people building new apartment buildings:

MAKE SURE THERE'S ENOUGH f*ckING PARKING SPACES FOR ALL THE f*ckING APARTMENTS.

I drove to the grocery store (could have walked but it's after dark), came back, no parking spots in the building garage, have to park across the street in the parking lot of an office complex the property people also own. Seriously, taking the car out after like 6 PM is like throwing raw meat to a starving lion. My spot is always gone. A f*cking SUV took it tonight, thing's as big as a tank and it's sitting in a spot marked "Compact". I'd like to take it to a f*cking junkyard and show them what "compact" really means, along with the f*ckers who park their f*cking motorcycles in the parking spots, AND ESPECIALLY the f*ckers who "invent" parking spaces in the garage and practically block in people who actually got good spaces, making it super hard for them to back out without risking damage (if my car were sh*ttier, I might just plow into one of them while backing out, or if I were a bigger asshole I might slash tires and bash glass).

A space across the street isn't the worst, but when so many people are displaced that my car is practically closer to my office than to my apartment building (I walk to work, it's like 0.25-0.5 miles), something is wrong. The apartment is really nice, but the parking situation is GOD f*ckING AWFUL, and it's nights like tonight that make me HATE EVERYONE ELSE THAT LIVES IN THIS BUILDING.

At least I'm going away on vacation on Saturday, won't have to deal with these morons for at least 10 days. Just hope I can poach a better parking spot before then. Fat f*cking chance.

Today was my anniversary. I've been separated from my (ex? not-quite-ex?-)wife for 10 months. On the whole, things are better, but tonight has more scotch in it than it should.

Got into an accident this morning. Car is dead. While it's not my fault, there are enough circumstances that the Insurance company could still screw me over. Not how I was planning to try and get a new car.

Guess it's time to cancel a bunch of pre-orders on Amazon.

Leave your car at the office bubs.

Oof, be good to yourself, your body might feel awful tomorrow

Amoebic wrote:

Oof, be good to yourself, your body might feel awful tomorrow :(

On that note, even if you're not feeling it, get to a doctor for a check up anyway and ask for some muscle relaxers or pain killers for the inevitable body backlash.

Take some NSAIDs because you will have stiffness and inflammation from even a low speed crash.

boogle wrote:

Leave your car at the office bubs.

I would, but the office park sorta frowns upon that. They don't like cars left overnight, and if you have to (like mechanical issues or a freak midday snowstorm shutting down the roads), then you have to fill out a form and leave it with security.

One bright spot: I came home just before 6 PM today and managed to sneak into a spot under the building. I caught the nice gap between "the people who work in the office building leaving" and "the people who live in my building but commute during the day coming home" (as if enough stuff about the parking was screwy, they use our apartment building lot for their office building during the day...). Literally sprinted to my car after getting home to make sure the spots I saw in the garage were still free. So that's a bit of a relief.

Amoebic wrote:

Oof, be good to yourself, your body might feel awful tomorrow :(

Antichulius wrote:
Amoebic wrote:

Oof, be good to yourself, your body might feel awful tomorrow :(

On that note, even if you're not feeling it, get to a doctor for a check up anyway and ask for some muscle relaxers or pain killers for the inevitable body backlash.

Well, I'm gonna see how I'll feel tomorrow. Went to the doctor, and I have a head contusion with concern for concussion syndrome. I can work from home (where home is my parents' house on my laptop because my brother wanted to make sure the family could monitor me, which is also what the doctor advised), and I can always use the excuse that it was doctor's orders if my head hurts too badly.

Due to the nature of the accident, the insurance companies are basically gonna have a battle to claim liability on the other kid. Otherwise it's a "no fault" incident because I'm not even clear if our cars collided at some point. Ours are damaged, no one else's was, but unfortunately the accident occurred because they cut me off sans blinker, not looking, slamming the breaks with less than one car length between us. I swerved out of the way into a clear lane, but I hit the breaks as well and lost control of my car, bouncing around like a pinball. The kid claimed it was his fault, told the police it was his fault, but obviously the opposing insurance is going to try and find whatever loophole they can and the kid hasn't even spoken with them yet. I'm the only one that's spoken to the insurance companies.

Of course, the kid was 16, and I'm really glad I swerved despite the outcome because his kid siblings were in the back seat.

Might post photos of my busted up car tomorrow. It's dead. Need a new one. Bleh.

Take care, Chris. Sending positive thoughts your way.

Trapped on a train car for three hours surrounded by chatty teen girls aaaargh this may be actual hell

pyxistyx wrote:

Trapped on a train car for three hours surrounded by chatty teen girls aaaargh this may be actual hell

Hell is other people.