Questions you want answered.

Dakuna wrote:

In my family, we all exchange gifts, and we like it.

It's fun, and I haven't noticed any "gift resentment". Maybe you should consider getting very on-board with actually giving a crap about it instead of looking at it like it's a chore and a source of stress.

I'm all for everyone doing whatever makes them happiest, but while I'm not a Christian, I think Christmas is a great family time and the tradition of giving gifts is pretty cool, especially when they are thoughtfully selected. There are a lot of ways to spend money on someone without giving them a tangible gift too, like concert tickets, or gift cards to expensive restaurants - from where I'm standing, giving someone a great experience is even better than giving them a material gift, unless they need material things still.

Scrooge was a douche, don't be like Scrooge!

Well, thank you for judging me. I feel better already.

F*ck, I don't even know why I care.

EDIT: You know what, though, I do care, and I suddenly feel like I should explain why.

Giving gifts is fun for the hour that we do it. I don't even know what the f*ck "gift resentment" is supposed to be, but you know what? Money is tight right now, and I can point to two things in my possession right now that were Christmas gifts that I am still using or even remember WERE gifts in the first place. One being an old guitar that my sister was going to sell off anyway, the other being my slippers. I'm almost certain the same can be said for everyone else I got gifts for, if even that. So what good is spending money on a bunch of gifts that won't even be remembered?

You know what I remember about Christmas? Getting together for Christmas Eve dinner, having Slovak foods that we don't have any other time of the year, sitting around chatting with family and enjoying that way more than the gift exchange. Gifts were nice when I was 10 and wanted new things. I don't need gifts from my family for personal validation. And I'm not sitting here throwing Christmas under the bus. It's still a great time of year. I would just like it to be better than superficial, materialistic expectations. So call me Scrooge all you want, but I'm not spending the day in my count house grumbling to myself about an extra piece of coal on the fire.

I'm sorry, I don't see where I "bashed" it specifically. I said that I didn't want to do it anymore, not that anyone else had to. But, you know, thanks for going out of your way to call me a douche and make an already bad morning worse.

NSMike wrote:

I'm sorry, I don't see where I "bashed" it specifically. I said that I didn't want to do it anymore, not that anyone else had to. But, you know, thanks for going out of your way to call me a douche and make an already bad morning worse.

It seems that you are suggesting that calling it (paraphrasing) tedious and unnecessary doesn't qualify as bashing, which I don't agree with. I'm sorry it's an issue for your family, trust me, my family has problems too. I am definitely not trying to make your day worse, but I hope you can respect that I want to stand up for something that's special to me.

Dakuna wrote:

In my family, we all exchange gifts, and we like it.

It's fun, and I haven't noticed any "gift resentment". Maybe you should consider getting very on-board with actually giving a crap about it instead of looking at it like it's a chore and a source of stress.

Small family or a lot disposable income? I ask because those are the only two ways that seems to work. If we were to buy gifts for everyone on both sides of the family, that would mean buying for a total of 42 people (14 kids and 28 adults). And that's before figuring in gifts for my wife and our kids. Even at a $25 limit you're looking at over a grand in gifts.

Dakuna wrote:
NSMike wrote:

I'm sorry, I don't see where I "bashed" it specifically. I said that I didn't want to do it anymore, not that anyone else had to. But, you know, thanks for going out of your way to call me a douche and make an already bad morning worse.

It seems that you are suggesting that calling it (paraphrasing) tedious and unnecessary doesn't qualify as bashing, which I don't agree with. I'm sorry it's an issue for your family, trust me, my family has problems too. I am definitely not trying to make your day worse, but I hope you can respect that I want to stand up for something that's special to me.

Well, I'm sorry that you took my thoughts and feelings on the subject that weren't even directed at you so personally. You might want to stay away from this thing called "the internet," I hear that happens a lot on there.

CannibalCrowley wrote:
Dakuna wrote:

In my family, we all exchange gifts, and we like it.

It's fun, and I haven't noticed any "gift resentment". Maybe you should consider getting very on-board with actually giving a crap about it instead of looking at it like it's a chore and a source of stress.

Small family or a lot disposable income? I ask because those are the only two ways that seems to work. If we were to buy gifts for everyone on both sides of the family, that would mean buying for a total of 42 people (14 kids and 28 adults). And that's before figuring in gifts for my wife and our kids. Even at a $25 limit you're looking at over a grand in gifts.

We started doing what we do for this reason after my brother got out of the Air Force. He was making way less money, had a house payment, a kid on the way, etc etc etc. The idea of everyone buying one $50 gift for one person was a real mercy for them and for me as well since I was a full time student with a crappy part time job at the time. It continues to be a mercy now with my brother still strapped for cash especially last year since him and his wife filed for bankruptcy and now my sister and her husband are also somewhat strapped for cash (basically their issue is trying to live beyond their means and it is all on my sister). I think I am the only one in my immediate family who doesn't have a crushing amount of debt and could actually afford to get something for everyone.

Dakuna wrote:
NSMike wrote:

I'm sorry, I don't see where I "bashed" it specifically. I said that I didn't want to do it anymore, not that anyone else had to. But, you know, thanks for going out of your way to call me a douche and make an already bad morning worse.

It seems that you are suggesting that calling it (paraphrasing) tedious and unnecessary doesn't qualify as bashing, which I don't agree with. I'm sorry it's an issue for your family, trust me, my family has problems too. I am definitely not trying to make your day worse, but I hope you can respect that I want to stand up for something that's special to me.

What NSMike does with Christmas is special to you?

SixteenBlue wrote:
Dakuna wrote:
NSMike wrote:

I'm sorry, I don't see where I "bashed" it specifically. I said that I didn't want to do it anymore, not that anyone else had to. But, you know, thanks for going out of your way to call me a douche and make an already bad morning worse.

It seems that you are suggesting that calling it (paraphrasing) tedious and unnecessary doesn't qualify as bashing, which I don't agree with. I'm sorry it's an issue for your family, trust me, my family has problems too. I am definitely not trying to make your day worse, but I hope you can respect that I want to stand up for something that's special to me.

What NSMike does with Christmas is special to you?

Exactly. Sharing what something means to him doesn't make it that way for everyone.

Personally, I find (the lead up to) Christmas extraordinarily stressful - primarily due to the gift-giving bonanza it has become. Family, friends, co-workers, the mail carrier, teachers, the school bus driver, the garbage men. Where does it end?! It all feels more and more like an obligation rather than a festive season of giving. Roll in some family austerity because of two kids in college, and it gets that much more stressful. I guess it's just not the same for me as an adult and no longer have small children.

Know what holiday I like the best? Thanksgiving. Family, food, drinks, desserts, board games, football and a nap to top it all off.

CannibalCrowley wrote:

Small family or a lot disposable income?

True dat. I'm with NSMike all the way. My wife has four siblings plus partners and an increasing number of kids. Gift-giving is fun, but the dollars are starting to pile up. So a few years ago they decided each would draw another's name, so basically one couple bought for another etc. Nieces and nephews of course get something from most but not all (we all share an endless supply of hand-me-downs anyway), and everyone pools for something for their parents.

On my side, I only have one sibling, but years ago my mom—a warrior for Christmas traditions if anyone was—suggested paring the gift-giving down to the minimum, since we're all adults, we don't need anything and if we do we've probably bought it already, and our homes aren't big enough for more stuff anyway. So it's a gift or two each, nothing crazy, and for crying out loud please e-mail your wishlist by mid-November.

E2a:

PaladinTom wrote:

Family, food, drinks, desserts, board games, football and a nap to top it all off.

But yes, those are all the best parts of Christmas. Well, swap "football" for "World Junior Championship hockey" (the only day I care about it).

Gravey wrote:
PaladinTom wrote:

Family, food, drinks, desserts, board games, football and a nap to top it all off.

But yes, those are all the best parts of Christmas. Well, swap "football" for "World Junior Championship hockey" (the only day I care about it).

Bah, I'm good with food, drinks, nap, drinks, food, nap....then nap again.

SixteenBlue wrote:
Dakuna wrote:
NSMike wrote:

I'm sorry, I don't see where I "bashed" it specifically. I said that I didn't want to do it anymore, not that anyone else had to. But, you know, thanks for going out of your way to call me a douche and make an already bad morning worse.

It seems that you are suggesting that calling it (paraphrasing) tedious and unnecessary doesn't qualify as bashing, which I don't agree with. I'm sorry it's an issue for your family, trust me, my family has problems too. I am definitely not trying to make your day worse, but I hope you can respect that I want to stand up for something that's special to me.

What NSMike does with Christmas is special to you?

YUP

Would you hide your gaming hobby because of the effect it could have on your career?
Have you seen negative side effects on the rest of your life because of your gaming hobby?
Have you "come out" as a gamer? (apologies for trivializing a really significant life problem related to "come out")
Do you have a career where your clients and co-workers wouldn't understand a gaming hobby because of age old stigmata? (is that the right word? plural stigma)

Ghostship wrote:

Would you hide your gaming hobby because of the effect it could have on your career?
Have you seen negative side effects on the rest of your life because of your gaming hobby?
Have you "come out" as a gamer? (apologies for trivializing a really significant life problem related to "come out")
Do you have a career where your clients and co-workers wouldn't understand a gaming hobby because of age old stigmata? (is that the right word? plural stigma)

My career is in a nerdy (for lack of a better word) field so this has never been an issue for me.

SixteenBlue wrote:
Ghostship wrote:

Would you hide your gaming hobby because of the effect it could have on your career?
Have you seen negative side effects on the rest of your life because of your gaming hobby?
Have you "come out" as a gamer? (apologies for trivializing a really significant life problem related to "come out")
Do you have a career where your clients and co-workers wouldn't understand a gaming hobby because of age old stigmata? (is that the right word? plural stigma)

My career is in a nerdy (for lack of a better word) field so this has never been an issue for me.

The companies I worked wouldn't give a sh*t if I sacrificed Canadians to the Blood God. Just not on company time.

The plural of "stigma" is "stigmata" but the term "stigmata" has generally shifted over time to now have a very specific religious definition. The common pluralization is now simply "stigmas".

SixteenBlue wrote:
Ghostship wrote:

Would you hide your gaming hobby because of the effect it could have on your career?
Have you seen negative side effects on the rest of your life because of your gaming hobby?
Have you "come out" as a gamer? (apologies for trivializing a really significant life problem related to "come out")
Do you have a career where your clients and co-workers wouldn't understand a gaming hobby because of age old stigmata? (is that the right word? plural stigma)

My career is in a nerdy (for lack of a better word) field so this has never been an issue for me.

This. I'm an aerospace engineer. Playing videogames actually makes me slightly less nerdy compared to my colleagues.

Ghostship wrote:
Strangeblades wrote:
SixteenBlue wrote:
Ghostship wrote:

Would you hide your gaming hobby because of the effect it could have on your career?
Have you seen negative side effects on the rest of your life because of your gaming hobby?
Have you "come out" as a gamer? (apologies for trivializing a really significant life problem related to "come out")
Do you have a career where your clients and co-workers wouldn't understand a gaming hobby because of age old stigmata? (is that the right word? plural stigma)

My career is in a nerdy (for lack of a better word) field so this has never been an issue for me.

The companies I worked wouldn't give a sh*t if I sacrificed Canadians to the Blood God. Just not on company time.

Wait, aren't you Canadian?
What about your company's client's, or your clients, or your managers who are likely to choose whether or not you get promoted? Like if your manager was fantasy football, paint your chest at a hockey game, jock guy?

Or if you sold cashmere scarves to high heeled sonority girls in over-large sunglasses?

Yeah I'm Canadian. It's not like we are going extinct or anything.

Strangeblades wrote:
SixteenBlue wrote:
Ghostship wrote:

Would you hide your gaming hobby because of the effect it could have on your career?
Have you seen negative side effects on the rest of your life because of your gaming hobby?
Have you "come out" as a gamer? (apologies for trivializing a really significant life problem related to "come out")
Do you have a career where your clients and co-workers wouldn't understand a gaming hobby because of age old stigmata? (is that the right word? plural stigma)

My career is in a nerdy (for lack of a better word) field so this has never been an issue for me.

The companies I worked wouldn't give a sh*t if I sacrificed Canadians to the Blood God. Just not on company time.

Wait, aren't you Canadian?
What about your company's clients, or your clients, or your managers who are likely to choose whether or not you get promoted? Like if your manager was fantasy football, paint your chest at a hockey game, jock guy?

Or if you sold cashmere scarves to high heeled sonority girls in over-large sunglasses?

If I get Minarchist completely drunk, will I have a better chance of finally beating him in a game of chess?

trichy wrote:

If I get Minarchist completely drunk, will I have a better chance of finally beating him in a game of chess?

Don't play to his strengths. Instead of trying to beat Min in a game of chess, try to beat him with a game of chess. You might see success that way.

Gravey wrote:
trichy wrote:

If I get Minarchist completely drunk, will I have a better chance of finally beating him in a game of chess?

Don't play to his strengths. Instead of trying to beat Min in a game of chess, try to beat him with a game of chess. You might see success that way.

IMAGE(http://www.chessbase.com/news/2005/kasparov20.jpg)

For the record, my (grown-up, married) siblings and in-laws and I do a Secret Santa thing instead of everybody buying gifts for everyone else, and it has worked out great every time. We all have a finite supply of time and money, all the more so over the holidays. Now instead of buying five mediocre gifts for five people, I can spend the same amount of time and effort to figure out one really nice thoughtful gift for just one person, and if the most thoughtful gift happens to be a little expensive, I can swing it.

Still get individual gifts for each of my parents and my S.O. back before we broke up, and of course my little nephew gets showered with ungodly amounts of colorful plastic crap from everyone, because that's the true meaning of Christmas. (-:

trichy wrote:

If I get Minarchist completely drunk, will I have a better chance of finally beating him in a game of chess?

Given the man's penchant for dressing well, I think you'd be better off with one of those pens that shoots disappearing ink.

Oh, and cheating. Lots of cheating.

Strangeblades wrote:
SixteenBlue wrote:
Ghostship wrote:

Would you hide your gaming hobby because of the effect it could have on your career?
Have you seen negative side effects on the rest of your life because of your gaming hobby?
Have you "come out" as a gamer? (apologies for trivializing a really significant life problem related to "come out")
Do you have a career where your clients and co-workers wouldn't understand a gaming hobby because of age old stigmata? (is that the right word? plural stigma)

My career is in a nerdy (for lack of a better word) field so this has never been an issue for me.

The companies I worked wouldn't give a sh*t if I sacrificed Canadians to the Blood God. Just not on company time.

You sound a little too sure of this.

Strangeblades wrote:
Ghostship wrote:

Wait, aren't you Canadian?
What about your company's client's, or your clients, or your managers who are likely to choose whether or not you get promoted? Like if your manager was fantasy football, paint your chest at a hockey game, jock guy?

Or if you sold cashmere scarves to high heeled sonority girls in over-large sunglasses?

Yeah I'm Canadian. It's not like we are going extinct or anything.

Not for lack of trying?

Ghostship wrote:

Would you hide your gaming hobby because of the effect it could have on your career?
Have you seen negative side effects on the rest of your life because of your gaming hobby?
Have you "come out" as a gamer? (apologies for trivializing a really significant life problem related to "come out")
Do you have a career where your clients and co-workers wouldn't understand a gaming hobby because of age old stigmata? (is that the right word? plural stigma)

Many people see video gaming addictions as a pretty non-trivial problem also. Just sayin.

trichy wrote:

If I get Minarchist completely drunk, will I have a better chance of finally beating him in a game of chess?

As long as you're buying, I am down with these rules.

Minarchist wrote:
trichy wrote:

If I get Minarchist completely drunk, will I have a better chance of finally beating him in a game of chess?

As long as you're buying, I am down with these rules.

I suggest you first get him drunk, then challenge him to a game of chess-boxing.

What can possibly go wrong?

Jonman wrote:
Minarchist wrote:
trichy wrote:

If I get Minarchist completely drunk, will I have a better chance of finally beating him in a game of chess?

As long as you're buying, I am down with these rules.

I suggest you first get him drunk, then challenge him to a game of chess-boxing.

What can possibly go wrong?

This event will be central to pencon13.

Jonman wrote:
Minarchist wrote:
trichy wrote:

If I get Minarchist completely drunk, will I have a better chance of finally beating him in a game of chess?

As long as you're buying, I am down with these rules.

I suggest you first get him drunk, then challenge him to a game of chess-boxing.

What can possibly go wrong?

I have mad respect for those guys. They can get beat about the head and still play at an FIDE 2000 level. Crazy.

oilypenguin wrote:
Jonman wrote:
Minarchist wrote:
trichy wrote:

If I get Minarchist completely drunk, will I have a better chance of finally beating him in a game of chess?

As long as you're buying, I am down with these rules.

I suggest you first get him drunk, then challenge him to a game of chess-boxing.

What can possibly go wrong?

This event will be central to pencon13.

Can I suggest Dominion-mixed martial arts, instead?