What do you do when you're sad?

My girlfriend and I are currently making a long-distance relationship work. I just recently got back from my girlfriend's place. We had almost 2 weeks together and it was totally awesome, although our insistence of doing everything together almost the entire time meant that the vast majority of games and internet went untouched. That's why everyone here had nearly 14 days without me being a loud-mouthed prick. I'm sure a number of you are sad to have me back. Ha ha! Suffer, fools!

While it's nice to be back, having to go back to missing her every day, plus a few other things I won't get into, plus the whole EGM/1up thing, which totally bummed me out... well, I'm not in a great mood today.

Up from the ashes of my very first locked thread (I think) comes a topic that might not suck! I posted that disastrous mess in an attempt to lift my spirits, but it has failed miserably. So I try the same thing again and expect different results, which I'm pretty sure is the definition of sanity! The key difference is that this topic might not be really, really stupid.

When you're in an unhappy mood, what do you do? I usually try to write a little something, either to help put things in perspective or to get my mind onto happier things. It's where the dumb Max Applesauce story I posted in the super-old "Favorite things you ever wrote" thread came from. I write a bunch of rambling mental-masturbatory garbage on my blog (it's great if you're having trouble sleeping; otherwise, not really worth a visit), although lately I've tried to keep personal stuff off, which means very few of the things up there are written in the melancholy mind-state.

I usually find it difficult to get anything truly productive done in this mood, but sometimes I get trapped in an empty feeling where I just can't bring myself to do anything but stare at the walls. In those cases, I'll usually force myself to do some work, which almost always puts me in a better mood until I come back a day later and look at what I actually did and see nothing but flaws.

Today, though, I'm trying to create a half-decent thread.

When I'm feeling especially down or troubled, I'll almost always rely on music as an escape ( I can't seem to focus on games when I'm down) , works for me but I guess everyone has their thing.

Hope things pick up for you,

Good post.

Gaming. It's one of the greatest stress relievers no matter what's going on.

Lots of music, lots of games, incidentally, and if at all possible, try to do something that you've really got to concentrate on. (Learn a new language, try to figure out why Windows does a lot of the stupid stuff it does, split the difference and learn C#...)

I definitely know how hard long distance relationships can be though. On the bright side, it makes it all the more awesome when you do get to spend some time with them.

Edit: Gotta love hitting the wrong button.

I'd love to suggest something really witty, or uplifting, but honestly, when I get in that kind of a funk, I'm never in a zone where I can even process the idea of "hey, that will make me feel better." I know that exercise keeps those funks from getting worse. More often than not, it's videogames and gin.

What a downer man...

I listen to Pavement. They have a weird aural-prozac effect on me.

Two things: reading and journaling. The reading is for when I simply just need an escape, and need to live in someone else's head for awhile. Journaling is for more acute crises, though it's good in other cases as well. The trick is to force myself to write and write until whatever is going on has at least become more clear. This will typically take a few pages at least. Perfunctory, page-length entries tend to be both forgettable and forgotten.

rabbit wrote:

I'd love to suggest something really witty, or uplifting, but honestly, when I get in that kind of a funk, I'm never in a zone where I can even process the idea of "hey, that will make me feel better." I know that exercise keeps those funks from getting worse. More often than not, it's videogames and gin.

What a downer man...

Gin and games do great, but you have to at least have reached a point of complacency with regards to a negative mood for them to be useful (my experience). Exercise is also incredibly important and well known as one of the quickest ways to relieve depression, but again it needs a specific commitment which is so antithetical to the depressed state. I recommend it as a preventative measure.

Again this is only what works for me.

Reading, music, and gaming are my top 3 stress relievers. Maybe a beer or two... But seriously, I always try and keep my head up and staying positive always seems to help me.

Exercise, particularly running, is the way to go. Take 4 motrin/advil/ibuprofen an hour ahead of time.

Barring that, drinking sometimes comes with a really special hangover that helps you see the world more clearly. That can be good.

Watch the history channel and try to understand that our problems are miniscule compared to those of our ancestors. If all else fails, get some buddies and go to a tit bar.

If its a situational -temporary- problem, as yours seems to be, an SSRI type antidepressant can work wonders. The oldies are still good: prozac, paxil, zoloft, celexa, wellbutrin. They are available in generic versions, so they're about $4 a month. Main side effects are trouble sleeping at first and diminished libido that doesn't go away, but maybe thats not a big deal for you right now. Newer ones are more expensive but fewer side effects: Cymbalta and Lexapro.

Booze. Or, if you're on the wagon, perhaps I can suggest what helped to get me over the death of my dog? Blazing Saddles on Blu-Ray. N-word jokes are ten times funnier when you feel like sh*t.

I just stare at the stuff in my room. Games, music and movies just get on my nerves when I'm down.

I usually try to figure out why I'm bummed. If I understand it, it bums me out less.

Walking. I go out in a hoodie with an MP3 player and get some fresh air... just walk for hours. It gives me a lot of time to think stuff over and put things in perspective.

Do you have any pets? Play with your pets. Take a long walk with the dog, or pet the cat (don't walk the cat, it looks silly), or feed the fish, etc. If you don't have any pets, but you're responsible enough, consider getting one. Fish are more trouble than you think. Cats are pretty easy. Dogs are more work but better companions. Animal shelters can hook you up with a good pet. Just remember, it's yours from then on, for its whole life.

Punching people or applying submission techniques on them.

WarrenG1983 wrote:

Walking. I go out in a hoodie with an MP3 player and get some fresh air... just walk for hours. It gives me a lot of time to think stuff over and put things in perspective.

I would add that walking also works for me, especially when music is associated with it as mentioned.

A number of things work for me:

1) Just going outside. Regardless of the weather, being outside has a fresh immediacy to it. Looking at the sky, mountains, or trees calms me, and helps me to have perspective. Compared to the millions of years that the mountains have watched pass, whatever is bothering me seems to suddenly seem small and temporary.

2) Meditation. In the act of stilling my mind, I often discover the root cause of my funk and, in doing so, it suddenly loses its power. Meditation is also easy enough that it's doable when you're in that don't-give-a-crap mood.

3) Running. Essentially, this is a moving meditation for me. The rhythm of my feet striking the ground, the air on my face, and my subconscious doing most of the steering all combine to create an ideal environment for me to work things out mentally and feel that good tiredness.

4) Gaming. This one is less effective, and I'm increasingly finding that gaming is unsatisfying when I'm not already in a good mood. Occasionally, however, I can lose myself in a game and start having a good time. This is difficult, as "challenging" or competitive games can lead to rapid frustration if my mood is already poor.

The very best is just hanging out and cuddling with my girlfriend, but you've said that isn't available to you right now. Perhaps the other stuff will help though.

I write angry rants that I then don't send or even keep after they're done. I also take long walks around town where I can rant in my head without pissing on everyone's parade, maybe stop by a diner or something if I'm in the area. Overall I just try to be as alone as possible when I'm really sad, which might not be the best of solutions given the reasons you're sad.

I also make sure to never, ever buy a gun.

Crank Coltrane in my headphones and play Bejeweled until the world gets it's sh*t together.

I clean my gu... uh... gum... wrapper... collection?

I can sort of relate to the long distance thing, but yours is probably longer distance than mine. My g/f lives about 120 miles away, so we don't see each other except on weekends and the very rare weekday evening thing. I usually go to her place, but when we absolutely want to be alone (her 2 daughters live with her) she comes to my place. During the 4-5 days between our visits, I get pretty down too. Walking is my #1 thing to do. If the weather is bad or if I'm just feeling lazy, I usually plop in my easy chair in the den, cover up with a blanket and read for several hours. Usually does the trick. I almost never play games if I'm down. You'd think that would pick me up, but for some reason it just usually holds no appeal for me. Others are different I'm sure.

Walking the cat is fun though. It has this weird air of surrality to it that helps me. Plus, it always completely messes up at least one person without fail. And that's always fun.

As far as games go, I really like the games that are all mechanics, no fluff. Burnout has always been awesome for that. It's very much a matter of letting my subconcious drive, and something I can do with my brain off.

There are some pretty fun XBLA games that do the same thing. Powerup Forever on Easy is awesome for that. So is Rock Band.

Then again, Burnout and Rock Band combine music and brain-off gameplay in a nice meditative package.

I'm going through my annual pre-birthday downer at the moment. The key is really distraction without frustration.

1) A game that isn't too hard but still needs a little focus is good. Diablo 2, The Witcher or an MMO, actually looking at that I think the focusing on 'someone else's' problem may be part of the solution. World of Goo is cheerful early on, but it's starting to disturb me since Chapter 3.

2) Exercise and music

3) A good cheerful yet slightly smart movie that needs attention. Rat Boy suggests Blazing Saddles, I'd say any Mel Brooks movie or a Monty Python.

I could write a ridiculously long post but I've gone through the exact same depression causing events that your talking about, except for the EGM/1UP sadness, and I know what I did.

I read all the Craigslist ads for Women Seeking Men. Made me realize how great I had it even if my girlfriend was thousands of miles away. Sadly now that I'm single, I read through those ads looking for a girlfriend but I still realize how good I had it back then.

I'll give one other activity I do from my vast library. I use this activity for when I'm single and have recently been rejected for a first-date/phone number. I go to the closest K-Mart and I walk in. Instantly I realize that I am the best looking person in the entire store, I walk around the store for a lap or two as my confidence builds. Then I just walk right out of the store ready to take on the next girl.

PyromanFO wrote:

I usually try to figure out why I'm bummed. If I understand it, it bums me out less.

I do this when I don't want to be sad.
Usually, though, I like to wallow in my misery and watch sad movies and listen to depressing music, when I eventually get sick of watching or hearing them, it somehow cheers me up (catharsis maybe?). Losing myself in a good story (game, film, or book) also helps, provided they don't end on a sad note, that just makes me sad again.

Also:
Even in the darkness
Every color can be found,
And every day of rain brings water
Flowing to things growing in the ground
...
Anytime you’re hurt
There’s one who has it worse around,
And every drop of rain will keep you
Growing seeds you’re sowing in the ground.

So keep your head up, Slinky-Buddy.

Running Man wrote:

Exercise, particularly running, is the way to go. Take 4 motrin/advil/ibuprofen an hour ahead of time.

Barring that, drinking sometimes comes with a really special hangover that helps you see the world more clearly. That can be good.

Watch the history channel and try to understand that our problems are miniscule compared to those of our ancestors. If all else fails, get some buddies and go to a tit bar.

If its a situational -temporary- problem, as yours seems to be, an SSRI type antidepressant can work wonders. The oldies are still good: prozac, paxil, zoloft, celexa, wellbutrin. They are available in generic versions, so they're about $4 a month. Main side effects are trouble sleeping at first and diminished libido that doesn't go away, but maybe thats not a big deal for you right now. Newer ones are more expensive but fewer side effects: Cymbalta and Lexapro.

This post started off good. Exercise...yeah, good idea. Then it turned into possibly the worst advice I've ever come across, ever. Why would you take 4 pain killers ahead of time? Drinking, and feeling like sh*t afterwards....good one. Seeing others suffering to make yourself feel better......

Suggesting someone takes antidepressants because they are sad if a f*cking joke. This sh*t really pisses me off. Deal with your emotions, don't suppress them. Is this how bad it's become in America? You don't need drugs to be happy, you don't need anything to be happy.

Here's some advice if your sad. Go for a walk out in nature and appreciate it's beauty. Journaling is awesome as posted by someone else. Take this time apart to focus on some personal goals. Do some exercise, eat good food and have fun. You must be happy with yourself so you can share it with another. The other person doesn't bring happiness. The time apart will bring you closer and strengthen your relationship.

I've done the long distance relationship and it's tough at times, but you'll get through it. If not, it's not supposed to be anyway.

mrdiko wrote:
Running Man wrote:

Exercise, particularly running, is the way to go. Take 4 motrin/advil/ibuprofen an hour ahead of time.

Barring that, drinking sometimes comes with a really special hangover that helps you see the world more clearly. That can be good.

Watch the history channel and try to understand that our problems are miniscule compared to those of our ancestors. If all else fails, get some buddies and go to a tit bar.

If its a situational -temporary- problem, as yours seems to be, an SSRI type antidepressant can work wonders. The oldies are still good: prozac, paxil, zoloft, celexa, wellbutrin. They are available in generic versions, so they're about $4 a month. Main side effects are trouble sleeping at first and diminished libido that doesn't go away, but maybe thats not a big deal for you right now. Newer ones are more expensive but fewer side effects: Cymbalta and Lexapro.

This post started off good. Exercise...yeah, good idea. Then it turned into possibly the worst advice I've ever come across, ever. Why would you take 4 pain killers ahead of time? Drinking, and feeling like sh*t afterwards....good one. Seeing others suffering to make yourself feel better......

Suggesting someone takes antidepressants because they are sad if a f*cking joke. This sh*t really pisses me off. Deal with your emotions, don't suppress them. Is this how bad it's become in America? You don't need drugs to be happy, you don't need anything to be happy.

Here's some advice if your sad. Go for a walk out in nature and appreciate it's beauty. Journaling is awesome as posted by someone else. Take this time apart to focus on some personal goals. Do some exercise, eat good food and have fun. You must be happy with yourself so you can share it with another. The other person doesn't bring happiness. The time apart will bring you closer and strengthen your relationship.

I've done the long distance relationship and it's tough at times, but you'll get through it. If not, it's not supposed to be anyway.

Yeah, different things work for different people, just because they don't work for you doesn't make them the worst advice ever. Your own pep talk wouldn't really work for me if I was sad, but it doesn't make it bad advice. Fun is rather hard to have when you're sad, know the reason you're sad, but can't realistically do anything about it. Not that I think Mecha-Slinky's situation calls for antidepressants, just that some people do need them to be happy. Overprescribed != Unnecessary.

Also, while the word filter may replace the u with a * in f*cking, the quoted version still shows up as unedited. In case anyone was wondering or cared.

Coldstream wrote:

1) Just going outside. Regardless of the weather, being outside has a fresh immediacy to it. Looking at the sky, mountains, or trees calms me, and helps me to have perspective. Compared to the millions of years that the mountains have watched pass, whatever is bothering me seems to suddenly seem small and temporary.

I just did this yesterday. I really needed a long walk, so I took it at 10PM in freezing -8 degrees centigrade. It looked a bit foolish until I became used to the cold. Then it turned to the wonderful thing: empty streets under icy fog. And the most uplifting image of all: swans sleeping in the middle of the frozen lake, long necks buried under their wings. I stared at them for maybe 15 minutes.

I watch 'The Princess Bride' again, or I do a bit of sketching.

Then it turned to the wonderful thing: empty streets under icy fog.

It was like that here last week for a few days - brilliant to walk through, just wish I'd thought to take a camera with me.

It's been a while since I've been really sad. I think my contingency plan for that situation has changed over the last year or so.

At the moment I'd say go to some private property and shoot things I don't need anymore. Preferably things made of glass. They're the most fun.

Buy game, play game used to be my panacea, but I tend to rely upon playing with my daughter now. Despite the fact that her mother and I are nmiserable sods, she is a very happy little girl, and 5 minutes of her smiling and giggling fixes everything.