Holiday Onion-reading

I just have to share some holiday Onion-reading with my fellow geeks:

Factual Error Found On Internet
LONGMONT, CO—The Information Age was dealt a stunning blow Monday, when a factual error was discovered on the Internet. The error was found on TedsUltimateBradyBunch.com, a Brady Bunch fan site that incorrectly listed the show's debut year as 1968, not 1969....

Computer Being Stupid
CAMBRIDGE, MA—After multiple attempts to get the thing to do the thing, 38-year-old freelance writer Joe Garvin gave up Saturday, citing the fact that his stupid computer was too dumb to print something as simple as a travel itinerary. The computer, a PowerBook something with some kind of core that does this every single time, reportedly refused to just tell the printer to print even after Garvin spent a full 10 minutes yelling at it. "Why won't you just help me out here?" Garvin asked his computer after it started beeping at him just to rub it in. "I checked your nums lock already, and that's not it. What is the matter with you? I hate you." Although the computer will likely go on being {ableist slur} forever, Garvin refused to call tech support to resolve the problem, claiming they're all "Wha, wha, wha," and saying a bunch of stuff he doesn't even know what.

Lastly, an American Voices entry here notes that Computer Makers Die More. Personally, I attribute it less to the chemical compounds in the equipment and more to the chemical compounds in Ho Ho's coupled with moving the body once or twice a decade.

It's funny because it hurts so much.