Random non sequitur posts catch-all thread

Coldstream wrote:
Baron Of Hell wrote:

I keep hearing about people having their ear holes close up if they don't wear earrings for awhile. My don't seem to close. I think I just gone two years without wearing earrings but my ear holes are still there for me to sport my decepticon earrings.

Depends on epithelialization. If the holes are sufficiently large and/or a sufficient epithelial layer has formed, then the surfaces won't easily close together. This is why most physicians won't try to suture a wound together if it has been open for more than about a day.

I never knew that.

I was about to buy Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, and then I remembered I still have and never beat AC: Black Flag.

I'm counting this as buying a "new game".

I'm going for a scan at the hospital and the letter mentioned that I had to notify them if I was taking a certain type of pill. I phoned up to say I was. The person overseeing the appointments checked my file and said, "That's ok. You've got BEAUTIFUL renal function. You can keep taking it as normal."

It really made my day.

Higgledy wrote:

I'm going for a scan at the hospital and the letter mentioned that I had to notify them if I as taking a certain type of pill. I phoned up to say I was. The person overseeing the appointments checked my file and said, "That's ok. You've got BEAUTIFUL renal function. You can keep taking it as normal."

It really made my day.

I'm so sick and tired of Hollywood perpetuating these unrealistic standards of beauty in renal function.

trichy wrote:
Higgledy wrote:

I'm going for a scan at the hospital and the letter mentioned that I had to notify them if I as taking a certain type of pill. I phoned up to say I was. The person overseeing the appointments checked my file and said, "That's ok. You've got BEAUTIFUL renal function. You can keep taking it as normal."

It really made my day.

I'm so sick and tired of Hollywood perpetuating these unrealistic standards of beauty in renal function.

You're just jealous that your kidneys aren't swole. DO YOU EVEN PEE, BRO?

I have additional proof that we've slipped into an alternate reality!

Remember the Friendly's watermelon sherbet log? How was it spelled? “Watermelon” right?

Not in this reality:

Prederick wrote:

I was about to buy Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, and then I remembered I still have and never beat AC: Black Flag.

I'm counting this as buying a "new game".

I did the same thing recently, except I was about to buy Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, and then I remembered I still have and never beat AC: Black Flag, Unity, Rogue, Syndicate and Origins.

And then I bought it anyway

Redherring wrote:

I did the same thing recently, except I was about to buy Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, and then I remembered I still have and never beat AC: Black Flag, Unity, Rogue, Syndicate and Origins.

And then I bought it anyway

Fair.

In other news, the next 4 days are going to be critical Swamp Ass territory for most of the US.

I bought a new pair of noise cancelling headphones "open box" from eBay. I got them yesterday. They work great wirelessly, but the cable they came with was apparently not original, and did not fit at all. I messaged back to the seller, and he gave me a $10 discount (Canadian, so probably about $1 for you US folks, judging by the current exchange rate).

Then, I started shopping online for a cable for the model I have, and every time, those cables looked exactly like standard 3.5mm aux cables. So I thought, "What the hell", got a cutter from my toolbox, and removed some of the plastic around the jack on the cable I got with the headphones. Now, the cable fits in just fine, and the sound is great.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have some Tetris Effect to play.

I need to find a new physio.

I accidentally told him I'd been doing a lot of "butt stuff" when I meant to say I'd been doing a lot of glute exercises.

I don't know if I can go back after that.

A_Unicycle wrote:

I need to find a new physio.

I accidentally told him I'd been doing a lot of "butt stuff" when I meant to say I'd been doing a lot of glute exercises.

I don't know if I can go back after that.

Reminded me of this...

IMAGE(https://preview.redd.it/pli9nm01n3b31.png?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=f94f01a337c92988e2ec2fccf36378eedda93fd5)

Your was way better!

About 20 years ago I ordered a pizza, and when the delivery driver said "have a good dinner!" I said "thanks, you too!"

I still think about that moment a lot.

A cheerful "thanks,you too!" with a smile and wave is the hands-down best response to anyone road-rage yelling at you from their car.

A_Unicycle wrote:

I need to find a new physio.

I accidentally told him I'd been doing a lot of "butt stuff" when I meant to say I'd been doing a lot of glute exercises.

I don't know if I can go back after that.

I had a health thing a few years ago, and went in for a checkup. I meant to tell the doctor that I checked my resting heart rate every morning.

What came out was "Yeah, I try to touch myself every morning."

I have a heuristic with medical professionals that anything I say to or show them is likely to be far from the most interesting/embarrassing thing they see/hear that week. Triply so if they work in the ER - to paraphrase an ex-ER nurse I know:
"You've got to be really creative about what you 'accidentally' get stuck up your ass to surprise us."

Jonman wrote:

"You've got to be really creative about what you 'accidentally' get stuck up your ass to surprise us."

Without a base, without a trace. Practice safe sex, folks.

zeroKFE wrote:
Jonman wrote:

"You've got to be really creative about what you 'accidentally' get stuck up your ass to surprise us."

Without a base, without a trace. Practice safe sex, folks.

Party pooper.

Jonman wrote:
zeroKFE wrote:
Jonman wrote:

"You've got to be really creative about what you 'accidentally' get stuck up your ass to surprise us."

Without a base, without a trace. Practice safe sex, folks.

Party pooper.

I mean, that's another thing -- a little bit of prep work can go a long way. Just saying.

Prederick wrote:
A_Unicycle wrote:

I need to find a new physio.

I accidentally told him I'd been doing a lot of "butt stuff" when I meant to say I'd been doing a lot of glute exercises.

I don't know if I can go back after that.

I had a health thing a few years ago, and went in for a checkup. I meant to tell the doctor that I checked my resting heart rate every morning.

What came out was "Yeah, I try to touch myself every morning."

I don't think that's going to help your resting heart rate

Jonman wrote:

"You've got to be really creative about what you 'accidentally' get stuck up your ass to surprise us."

As gloriously recounted each year by Deadspin.

- TRAVEL SIZED MOUTHWASH BOTTLE
- LEG OF TELESCOPE
- SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF STRING
zeroKFE wrote:
Jonman wrote:

"You've got to be really creative about what you 'accidentally' get stuck up your ass to surprise us."

Without a base, without a trace. Practice safe sex, folks.

It's almost Anal August! So excited.

My body... is ready.

My wife is slaughtering chickens in AC:Odyssey just to horrify me. Actually, at this moment she is presiding over killing fields littered with dozens of animal carcasses, maybe more than 100, which is disturbing enough.

But then she stops, just to show me a chicken kill, which nets her a ridiculous amount of animal skins, as though chicken slaughter is being privileged in the game.

She just said, “Look, I just killed a human. Do you feel better?”

Now, “That goat keeps running from me, into a cave. But every time he comes out, he’s surrounded by more death and destruction.” She’s smiling.

But, seriously, the chicken thing. It’s all because I cried during the PBS Natural History of the Chicken documentary when a farmer told a story about a brave chicken. My wife and daughter mock me for this all the time.

Chickens are no joke in AC Odyssey. There is, in fact, a chicken boss on an island. Those little cluckers hit HARD.

BadKen wrote:

Chickens are no joke in AC Odyssey. There is, in fact, a chicken boss on an island. Those little cluckers hit HARD.

She just told me that she has been killing so many chickens that they now attack her on sight.

Make her play Zelda?

Oh, she beat BotW some time ago.

And Ken, I wish I had taken a picture of the excitement on her face when I mentioned the Chicken Boss. Seriously, it’s on now.

If memory serves the chickens in Skyrim were narcs. Kill them all.

Must hear how the chicken boss fight goes!

Last night I was dropped off at a bend in the road with a few shops called Jackson's corner. As a friend pointed out, the agricultural store 'Jackson's' closed down a couple of dozen years ago and yet everyone still calls it Jackson's corner.

As we speculated on how long the name would remain it's occurred to me that isn't the only corner in my local village with an out of date name. When I was at school people would refer to a bend in the road around a pretty nondescript pond as 'Jodah's Swan.' After some time I learned that Jodah's Swan, when pronounced properly, is actually 'Joey the Swan' and is named after a swan that hung out in that pond in the 1930's where is was visited and fed by the locals until it's untimely demise when a delivery van backed over it.

Our village even has a wrought iron sign with Joey the swan featured on it.

I'm gonna take off my pants!
— Randy Newman