Zork movie.. finally!

Original article

"Had they given it to Uwe Boll, it would have been a nonstop frenzy of exploding grues," commented Dan Pewters, who has been playing Zork for over 17 years.

Gerald Hemmingway, team leader of the visual effects team hired for the movie, explained, "Using the wider movie screens, we'll have much less text-wrapping, and be able to fit in more action onto the screen simultaneously. This is something the fans of Zork should be looking forward to."

And the fact it's being narrated by Morgan Freeman seals the deal for me.

I'll be seeing this opening day!

I assume you know that BBSpot is a satire site.

Using the wider movie screens, we'll have much less text-wrapping, and be able to fit in more action onto the screen simultaneously.

Ok I laughed pretty hard at this.

Uwe Boll ...

> SEE MOVIE You can't see the movie here.

Quintin_Stone wrote:
> SEE MOVIE You can't see the movie here.

:cry:

> LOOK AT MOVIE

You turn and look directly into the projector. Oh f*ck, you're blind!

>Open eyes

> Inhale > Exhale > Inhale > Exhale > Inhale > Exhale > Inhale > Exhale > Inhale > Exhale > Inhale > Exhale
duckilama wrote:

>Open eyes

That's not a container.

LobsterMobster wrote:
> Inhale > Exhale
Oops, you forgot to eat and collapse due to starvation. *** YOU HAVE DIED *** Your score is 1 out of 295,067, giving you the rank of n00b. Would you like to restart?
Quintin_Stone wrote:
duckilama wrote:

>Open eyes

That's not a container.

I LOL'd.

Quintin_Stone wrote:
> SEE MOVIE You can't see the movie here.

:cry:

> ENTER THEATER It is pitch black...
wordsmythe wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:
> SEE MOVIE You can't see the movie here.

:cry:

> ENTER THEATER It is pitch black...
>ENTER THEATER Your phone rings... >ANSWER PHONE It's your mother. "So now I'll never have grandchildren. You are doing this to hurt me, aren't you."
Your phone ringing in a theater has angered your fellow moviegoers. They rise and up destroy you for ruining the experience. GAME OVER.

Your kung-fu is strong.