Don't Streak at the Olympics

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddly...

By Paul Majendie

BEIJING (Reuters) - Do not sleep outdoors to save money at the Olympics. It is banned to "maintain public hygiene and the cultured image of cities."

Do not let the stifling summer heat tempt you into streaking, do not get drunk nor set off fireworks nor wave "insulting banners."

Anyone with mental illnesses or sexually transmitted diseases is banned. Smoking is not allowed at Olympic venues.

The rules on the organizers' official website say it all:

"Foreigners must respect Chinese laws while in China and must not harm China's national security or damage social order."

But the best part:

The security-obsessed authorities are taking no chances with the 500,000 tourists set to hit Beijing for the Games.

A battery of surface-to-air missile launchers are being deployed around the showpiece sites.

dhelor wrote:

Anyone with mental illnesses or sexually transmitted diseases is banned.

Man, how do they check that one?

Quintin_Stone wrote:
dhelor wrote:

Anyone with mental illnesses or sexually transmitted diseases is banned.

Man, how do they check that one?

They point the surface-to-air missile launcher at you and ask!

A battery of surface-to-air missile launchers are being deployed around the showpiece sites.

People don't realize how many of those things are inside DC...

MaverickDago wrote:
A battery of surface-to-air missile launchers are being deployed around the showpiece sites.

People don't realize how many of those things are inside DC...

Bigtime.

There was talk about installing a land equivalent of a Sea Whiz at the NGIA facillity in Bethesda, MD, but it scared the living bejesus out of the residents of $6million homes in Avenell who might be downstream of their intended targets. I'm sure they settled the issue by installing Stinger turrets and just not telling anyone.

Quintin_Stone wrote:
dhelor wrote:

Anyone with mental illnesses or sexually transmitted diseases is banned.

Man, how do they check that one?

Acupuncture? Something involving a ground up gallbladder from a bear?

You have to be streaking pretty hard that nothing but a SAM will stop you. Particularly since that would mean you're airborne.

LobsterMobster wrote:

You have to be streaking pretty hard that nothing but a SAM will stop you. Particularly since that would mean you're airborne.

I'd imagine anyone who streaks is automatically mentally elevated. So, yeah.