Weird Job Stories - My Dilbert moment.

Ever had one of those things happen that just seems too surreal to be real life? I just had my latest one this week and it's the sort of anecdote I wouldn't be surprised seeing compressed to three panels by someone like Scott Adams.

The Story so Far:

I quit my job in property management working on the beachfront on the sunshine coast because the pay wasn't up to what I felt I was worth, and I didn't see any real room to move within the company.

The position I was leaving for was in a relatively new Internet based Business Directory business as an Account manager. All well and good, the new company seemed really desirable on paper and in the interviews I had. Unfortunately as is often the case there were some differences between what I had been told and what was.

I had traded in a 3 minute drive to one of the best beaches in the country (or a 30 minute walk) where I got to do thankless administration work for a hour and forty five minute commute to a job where I would get to harass business owners in the hopes of getting more business so I didn't have to live off the small retainer.

After two days of stress and a lack of training or orientation I was thrown in the deep end. While I was fantasizing about being anywhere but there I ran the numbers and worked out how it was almost impossible to hit target and make the same as I did at my previous job.

On the morning of my third day with the new company I called one of my co-workers from the old company, she asked how it was all going and I told her. At this point I'd happily go crawling back to the old job.

A few minutes later I got a call from the boss from my old job, letting me know she heard that I wasn't happy with the new one, after a brief chat she let me know she wanted me back, as I said I'd have been happy to crawl back at this point, but I played it cool and pushed for more money. She tried to fob me off so I told her there were two stumbling blocks to me coming back; Pride and the money, and that I'd swallow one if the other was on the table. She said she'd look into it.

About 15 minutes later she came back with a better offer...

So I start my New old job on Tuesday with a higher rate of pay plus a reassessment in six months with a probable promotion and raise. But I can't tell anyone at work about my new arrangement, for obvious reasons so it feels good to tell the story.

Anyone else have one of those weird moments to share?

This is your boss, the deal is off.

edit:

Argh I couldn't do it! I had to put that smiley there.

The grass is always greener on the other side. This is because they use CGI to make it look so.

Some time ago, we had some bigwigs at our company walk through our facility. They commented that our location seemed too casual, and needed to be more professional. The problem was traced to the comfort level of the chairs in the plant. It was decided that because the chairs were too comfortable, people were encouraged to sit and relax.

The company is now prepared to spend literally tens of thousands of dollars to purchase brand new, less comfortable chairs. There are a number of chairs that are being tested for the appropriate level of discomfort to optimize employee efficiency.

OldMud wrote:

The company is now prepared to spend literally tens of thousands of dollars to purchase brand new, less comfortable chairs. There are a number of chairs that are being tested for the appropriate level of discomfort to optimize employee efficiency.

Of course, all the data are held on a networked server to which no one has the address and few have the password and no one wants to ask for the password because they'll be reminded that they were told the password via an easy-to-remember series of pictures that serve as memory aids.

OldMud wrote:

The company is now prepared to spend literally tens of thousands of dollars to purchase brand new, less comfortable chairs. There are a number of chairs that are being tested for the appropriate level of discomfort to optimize employee efficiency.

(brain explodes)

Seriously, though, working for a living interferes with your ability to think up these kind of forward-thinking solutions to obvious problems. Be thankful that you have such brave leaders, sacrificing their waistlines going to three martini lunch after three martini lunch at company expense to get consensus on burning issues such as the appearance of worker happiness and why it must be destroyed at all costs.

Nosferatu wrote:
OldMud wrote:

Some time ago, we had some bigwigs at our company walk through our facility. They commented that our location seemed too casual, and needed to be more professional. The problem was traced to the comfort level of the chairs in the plant. It was decided that because the chairs were too comfortable, people were encouraged to sit and relax.

The company is now prepared to spend literally tens of thousands of dollars to purchase brand new, less comfortable chairs. There are a number of chairs that are being tested for the appropriate level of discomfort to optimize employee efficiency.

You did immediately point out that when people walk into the corporate offices that they expect to see thus most proffesionalism of anyplace in the company, and thus should have the least comfortable chairs of any of the employees right?

Of course, I'm sure management retained their high-backed plush leather recliners.

OldMud wrote:

Some time ago, we had some bigwigs at our company walk through our facility. They commented that our location seemed too casual, and needed to be more professional. The problem was traced to the comfort level of the chairs in the plant. It was decided that because the chairs were too comfortable, people were encouraged to sit and relax.

The company is now prepared to spend literally tens of thousands of dollars to purchase brand new, less comfortable chairs. There are a number of chairs that are being tested for the appropriate level of discomfort to optimize employee efficiency.

You did immediately point out that when people walk into the corporate offices that they expect to see the most professionalism of anyplace in the company, and thus should have the least comfortable chairs of any of the employees right?

edit: for atrocious spelling and grammar.

Nosferatu wrote:

You did immediately point out that when people walk into the corporate offices that they expect to see the most professionalism of anyplace in the company, and thus should have the least comfortable chairs of any of the employees right?

I am afraid that kind of reasoning is way above my pay grade.

I'm a records clerk at a Law Firm. I was hired by the firm themselves originally, and after about a year and a half, I was told the the firm was out-sourcing my job to the company that took care of general services. Well, they offered us a brief interview sans resume minutes after the news was broken, so I kind of stumbled wide-eyed into the room. I saw this move coming, but its still kind of a shock when it happens. To make matters worse, a bird sh*t on my head walking to the train that day, too.

I interview and it lasts 5 minutes. 1 weed before the last day I find out I get the job, basically my old job back for reasonably better pay and more hours. Good enough. They hire a new supervisor. Who quits 1 month in. They can't get another in here for 4 months, so for 4 months I'm doing everything myself, including training a bunch of floaters, 6 total after all is said and done.

They finally hire a new supervisor and put forth a recommendation complete with data to back up their position that we need another file clerk. The firm finally agrees and they extend their contract and give my new company more money. I'm just pleased to have competent people helping me. Then, a few days after this happens, my boss pulls me in with his boss and they drop the bombshell that they actually saw me pulling my weight and they say that part of the new contract was freeing up some money and then they give me what amounts to a 17% raise from my current salary.

I was literally speechless for that whole meeting. I thought they were firing me.