MrDeVil909 wrote:Thirteenth wrote:Then why do I feel like I've just been judged? Pretty sure I've heard the sound of gavel being struck just now.
Cockroach cocktail. Cockroach-tail. But cockroaches don't really have tails though. They have abdomen.I think that people are just ribbing you.
Cockroaches certainly don't have ribs, they have a carapace.
Okay, except Zoidberg, he's a dick. :p
No, I'm saying that shrimps taste disgusting.
Nope, I'm pretty sure you just said that cockroaches are a tasty tasty treat.[/quote]
A feast is a feast!
/Zoidberg
Thirteenth wrote:muttonchop wrote:Thirteenth wrote:The cockroaches tasted as disgusting as shrimps.
I'm confused. Are you saying the cockroaches tasted delicious?
No, I'm saying that shrimps taste disgusting.
Nope, I'm pretty sure you just said that cockroaches are a tasty tasty treat. Hey man, I'm not judging, whatever floats your boat.
This from the guy who eats garbage out of dumpsters?
Last night I had a dream that Sarah Palin was caught masturbating in a parking garage and it was all over the news, with video...
Yeah, not a clue where that one came from.
I think it's obviously coming from all the obvious sexual tension between you and Palin. Remembering those Alaskan evenings, sitting on the porch holding hands and watching the sun set over Russia at 3AM.
Last night I had a dream that Sarah Palin was caught masturbating in a parking garage and it was all over the news, with video...
Yeah, not a clue where that one came from.
I, too, had a dirty Sarah Palin dream last night.
Serengeti wrote:Last night I had a dream that Sarah Palin was caught masturbating in a parking garage and it was all over the news, with video...
Yeah, not a clue where that one came from.
I, too, had a dirty Sarah Palin dream last night.
So... which one of you was Sarah Palin then? Or was it sort of a 'Being John Malcovic' sort of thing?
Last night I dreamed that I had been re-hired to my first software development job, under the same boss, doing the same work as before. It was kind of a crappy job so I wasn't all that happy about working there again, but at least this time there was a cute redhead sitting in the desk next to mine. I asked one of my male co-workers about her, and he said that she was a new hire also and that for the last few days she had been luring all the local men out into the woods each night for sex.
Now you'd think that at this point the dream would hop on board the express train to Sexy Town, but it just got weird instead.
The dream left me behind and switched to a more omniscient perspective, where I learned that none of the men ever remembered what happened in the woods each night. Of course, none of them said anything about it because each guy was worried that he fell asleep and missed all the fun, and was afraid to admit it to the others.
Finally, one of them decided to settle this once and for all, so he set up a video camera in the woods. When he watched the recording the following morning, he discovered that the hot redhead was actually a cyclops. I'm not talking Leela from Futurama here either, this cyclops looked more like Ray Harryhausen's cyclops from The 7th Voyage of Sinbad. The man was quite perturbed to discover that he'd been f*cking a cyclops, so he showed the other men the recording and they all confronted the girl about it.
She broke down and admitted that yes, she was secretly a cyclops. Apparently she was once a normal girl but then she was blessed by two giant magical armadillos and turned into a cyclops. In the dream there was a logical connection between armadillos and cyclopses so this explanation made perfect sense to everyone. The men apologized for yelling at her and she apologized for her deception.
After that the dream jumped forward in time to a point where some sort of catastrophe had befallen the town. I don't know what happened, but the buildings were all destroyed and everyone was trying to find shelter. Something bad was coming after them, so redhead cyclops girl ran off to confront it and save the town. Then I woke up because it was really windy and the tree by my window was making a lot of noise.
I don't know what happened, but the buildings were all destroyed and everyone was trying to find shelter.
Armadillos.... We should rid the world of their stinking hides!
She broke down and admitted that yes, she was secretly a cyclops. Apparently she was once a normal girl but then she was blessed by two giant magical armadillos and turned into a cyclops. In the dream there was a logical connection between armadillos and cyclopses so this explanation made perfect sense to everyone. The men apologized for yelling at her and she apologized for her deception.
Dream logic is great.
Okay, a long and weird one:
I had this really weird dream last night. I was living at my grandparents and was making my home from work (i forget where i was working) but i knew that one of my work friends was a also a writer who did comedy. We'd talk about shows and stuff on TV and he'd mention that he wrote some of that stuff. I forget how he tied into it all but i ended up walking through a completely different city because that was the way to go and i decided to get a bus which had taken me there. I bumped into the comedy writer who was on his way to have an interview or something on or for a show and i asked why he was still working with us and he said it was because he needed to pay the rent.
Anyway, so i got home and went to sleep for a little bit because i couldn't stay awake (Slept before having dinner). I kept waking up because my grandma was tidying the room from time to time. Then as i lay in bed i noticed that the next-door neighbour was doing something odd in the garden but i couldn't quite see what. So i got up and that was when i realised that my hands and feet were hurting. Looking down at them i could see that there were slight bulges inbetween my fingers and toes. I started freaking out and touching/feeling them... for some reason i thought they were a form of fast-growing cancer in the dream.
I waited for a while and they got bigger until i realised that they were fingers and toes, stick-thin fingers and toes about an eighth of an inch across. As they got bigger i could bend them like my normal appendages and, as you can imagine, i was now officially freaked out. I went downstairs but there was a mirror on the landing and i saw a truely horrific sight - my eyes were completely covered over by smooth skin (though i could still see) and there was a ridge around my face, as if i was wearing a raised face-place but which was actually my new facial bone structure.
So i got downstairs to the kitchen to find my grandparents preparing dinner and my two younger sisters sitting at the table. I tell my grandparents that i really need them to take me to hospital because something terrible has happened. At first they're concerned and ask me what it is. I reply that it's my hands, face and feet. They just laugh! Oh, how funny i am! Joking all the time.... I ask them if they can see all this stuff happening to me and they say that no, they can't. So i turn to my sisters and ask them. The elder sister says that she can't see anything and i reply that, well, even if they can't see anything, *I* can.... which either means that i'm going mad or that i'm been exposed to a hallucinagenic compound or something and need to go to hospital. She says that she won't take me because, sorry, but she doesn't believe me.
I suddenly go into this big rant about how she was always the WORST sister and that i couldn't rely on her for anything.... so i storm off back to my room without waiting for her reply and i hear the younger sister say to the elder: You always ruin things! Then i hear the younger sister getting up and coming after me.
I think that's when the recycling men woke me up.
I was part of a clandestine team inserted into Cuba. I have no idea what we were trying to do, but we got caught. We got paraded in front of Castro and he berated us for a while, then said that we'd all be released... except for me. He launches into some kind of twisted commie logic monologue, and finally that explains I would serve 20 years in prison.
Dreamt last night that I was reading a newspaper article that said Dog the Bounty Hunter was found frozen to death in a tent in the mountains of Colorado.
Seriously, brain, enough of this crap. Big butts. London Andrews. You have your assignment. Stop dicking around with this odd, meaningless crap.
I don't see what you're coughing? I can't see any dreams in that page of the thread? Did you have a dream there, Yonder?
Yonder wrote:I don't see what you're coughing? I can't see any dreams in that page of the thread? Did you have a dream there, Yonder?
I was trying to imply that Quintin meant to post that story in the confession thread rather than the dream thread.
Duoae wrote:Yonder wrote:I don't see what you're coughing? I can't see any dreams in that page of the thread? Did you have a dream there, Yonder?
I was trying to imply that Quintin meant to post that story in the confession thread rather than the dream thread.
Trying to steal Yellek while Quintin's in a Cuban prison? Prozac has taught you well.
Yeah, the best thing about Communist Cuban prisons is the unrestricted internet access! 
I assumed his dream was allegorical for the eternal battle he is doomed to lose over and over against his suave, powerful foreign opponent
I assumed his dream was allegorical for the eternal battle he is doomed to lose over and over against his suave, powerful foreign opponent ;)
Hmm, do you mean Vector?
Okay so i had one weird dream this morning.
I was in an outhouse bungalow type thing that was in the middle of a field that was actually my back garden in an old house that was a terrace and didn't have a back garden in the traditional sense. We (my family and I) were on a gameshow or something where we had to stay awake to win. We managed to do this though i forget the details of how we did....
At some point during this segment of the dream future me appeared and told me of impending danger for my family and all the families that were on this gameshow. How did i know he was me from the future? He had a metal blob on the side of his midriff as if a chunk of him had been taken out and replaced.
SO, knowing that there was danger coming - but not what type - i rounded up the kids (we had children?) and started to get them out, only it was too late and these bounty hunters/serial killers showed up. They killed all the grown ups but i managed to escape (not sure what happened to the kids). So, to stay out of their way, i lived as a down-and-out homeless person for a few days, visiting my road to check on the police, the local shops etc. Then, along with one of my housemates from Uni (who had also escaped the bounty hunters) we snuck round the back of the terraces and went to our next door neighbour at university's house as that was where the 'thing' was to defeat these guys or maybe it was evidence that we were framed for the murder of everyone (Yeah, the dream logic jumped around for a bit because i think the police were even looking for me as well).
So, even though we hadn't met our next door neighbours to be we knocked on their back door and introduced ourselves.... I remember distinctly feeling clever when one of the girls who came to the door to see what was going on (it was an all female household) as i said her name before she introduced herself - which no one seemed to catch onto. So.... We got inside the house but before we could find the 'thing' the bounty hunters turned up because they were waiting for us. I escaped through the back door again and managed to get over the wall to hide.
The next thing i knew, i was leading all the children again through the field as future me had said that the bounty hunters were looking for them. The four (?!) bounty hunters turned up and i told the children to run and dive on the ground. I pulled out my assault rifle (?!!) and shot three of the bounty hunters before they could get a bullet off, but the fourth escaped and circled around. He had some sort of thermal detonator cluster grenade and he threw it up in the air.... i saw him do this, and, knowing that i had no ammo left, that i would have to shield myself with my motorcycle (!!!!)..... which i did from the initial explosion. However, the cluster grenades had scattered and i only had a small window inbetween which to get out of their blast radius so i got up and ran through.
The end.
I know exactly where the cluster grenade thing came from since it was the same mechanic as those exploding shield bugs in Alien Swarm.... but the rest of that stuff?!! Who knows!
I assumed his dream was allegorical for the eternal battle he is doomed to lose over and over against his suave, powerful foreign opponent ;)
I'm only foreign to Q if the South counts as a different nation.
One of my dreams last night saw Axl Rose singing at a Roberta Flack tribute. The camera cut to Tracy Ulmann in the crowd, who just seemed disgusted with the whole thing.
It's amazing how many nemeses Quintin has coming out of the woodwork 
an outhouse bungelow? Yikes, I bet the paper was nice and fluffy too!
It's amazing how many nemeses Quintin has coming out of the woodwork :D
They don't call him the nemeslut for nothing.
I'm not sure what this one says about my subconscious (nothing good I suspect!):
I am on a small passenger plane headed for Vancouver. There are about 25 passengers and all of the female passengers are clustered around a seat at the back of the plane. When the crowd of giggling and preening women part, I see a supremely annoyed looking Robert Pattinson sitting in the seat. It’s clear to me he’s trying not to lose his temper, or give into to the temptation of tossing the lot of them out the door at 25,000 feet. The girls are all making a huge fuss of him, trying to get his attention, trying to find some excuse, any excuse, to touch him.
He sees me looking at him, his mouth is set in a grim line, his teeth clenched. I give him a little half-wave and turn away.
We begin our descent into Vancouver and the girls all reluctantly return to their seats. I stare out the window as we fly lower and notice that a large tank is rumbling it’s way down a set of unused train tracks as we fly over Kerrisdale. The pilot begins to speak over the PA system as I lose sight of the tank:
“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid we must divert our Vancouver flight to another nearby facility. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened and your seat backs and tray tables in the upright and locked position.”
I’m feeling a little anxious and more than a little annoyed. All I want is to get home and get off this stupidly tiny plane with it’s cramped seating and silly women behind me. Some of the ladies have chosen to become hysterical at the pilot’s announcement and have launched themselves in a flurry of fake tears into Robert Pattinson’s lap. I don’t need to look this time to know that he is not impressed. I can hear him and the flight attendant urging these idiots back to their seats.
The plane finally lands and we are shown into a small, cramped air hangar and told to wait for the arrival of our luggage.
While most of the passengers cluster around Rob, I head over to a counter and ask why the flight’s been diverted. One of the employees, her attention largely focused on the large group around Rob, tells me that the pilot saw a tank in Kerrisdale and was unsure it was safe to land. Cars were being brought in to pick us all up and get us either home or to a hotel.
I walk towards the group which has dispersed somewhat and get Rob’s attention.
“What?” he’s practically snarling with frustration.
“The pilot diverted the flight because he thought there was a threat to our safety. Cars are being sent to pick us all up and take us where we need to go. I thought you might like to know.”
Rob looks surprised, then colours a little for biting my head off. “Thanks.”
I nod at him and walk over to where our luggage is being unloaded. I take my bags down a small hallway near a door over-looking the tarmac. A few moments later I hear footsteps behind me. I turn and it’s Rob.
“Hey,” he says. “Want to grab a cigarette with me?”
I don’t smoke, but what the hell, I agree and we walk out. Rob lights up and we start walking across the tarmac. Suddenly, from behind, there is a cacophony of voices. “Rob! Rob, is this your new girlfriend?”, “How does Kristen feel about this?”, “How did you two meet?” and other questions lost in the babble of voices and sound of camera flashes and hurried footsteps.
Rob grabs my hand and looks at me quickly and then down again. The message is clear: “Don’t look. Say nothing. Keep moving.” We hurry further on and I feel grateful that he didn’t simply bolt and leave me to fend for myself. There is a large white car across the way and we move towards it. As I am looking down and hurrying, I see a small pixie dressed in a deep pink dress at my feet. I bend and scoop her up in my hand as we rush forwards.
The pixie is completely unimpressed with this and bites me.
I frown at her. “I thought maybe you’d prefer to not be trampled by those idiots.”
“Oh.” she says in a tiny bell-like voice. “Then, I apologize for biting you.”
The reporters and photographers are now gone and we reach the car. The pixie leaps from my hand into the open driver-side window. The dome light goes on illuminating the amber tinted windows and the driver-side door opens. Inside, the car is upholstered all in white leather. As my eyes adjust to the slightly darker interior, I see that the seats are covered in strings of raw meat, watery blood and the small holder between the two front seats is full of what looks like a blood and milk mixture.
I look back at Rob and he grins, “Well, we have to have somewhere to eat, drink and whore.”
At this point I got woken up by a garbage truck in the alley behind the house – and maybe that’s for the best.
At least he wasn't sparkling in the dream - that makes me still normal right?
You don't mention whether you felt that it was moving toward a romantic encounter or not.... That's the only way to prove if you're sane or not
You don't mention whether you felt that it was moving toward a romantic encounter or not.... That's the only way to prove if you're sane or not :D
With all the meat gobbets and blood in the car, I'm not sure any encounter would have been romantic, though it IS Robert Pattinson, and he's just sooooo dreamy.....
(excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth a little from typing that)
Duoae wrote:You don't mention whether you felt that it was moving toward a romantic encounter or not.... That's the only way to prove if you're sane or not :D
With all the meat gobbets and blood in the car, I'm not sure any encounter would have been romantic, though it IS Robert Pattinson, and he's just sooooo dreamy.....
(excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth a little from typing that)
You seem sane for the time being.... that's not to say that you won't become infected somewhere down the road. You might need to keep coming back here for check-up sessions.
Pages