Crazy weird dreams that you've dreamt!

The week so far has been a mixed bag for me.

Had one nightmare. Spiders. I'll leave it at that.

More than once I had that really irritating "wake up as if you had been sleeping but no you are still asleep VRRRT rewind the tape" kind of dreams.

And just yesterday I had a really neat one. I was floating in this giant tiled room. It seemed to be a zero gravity swimming pool shaped like a cube. I could breathe normally, but I was in "water" and could swim in any direction. Far from the first swimming pool dream I have had. Some of them involved sharks.

Tamren wrote:

Some of them involved sharks.

And how does that make you feel?

Oddly enough none of the ones I can still remember had me actually IN the water with the sharks.

mooosicle wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:
FSeven wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:


Office Space meets Walking Dead meets The Lady in teh Lake (or the Man in the Sand).

Anyone ever had a dream that included someone from GWJ? Like, their username and online persona as you interpret it?

Yeah, wordsmythe was in a dream of mine on page 13. But I've also met him in real life.

Was he spooning you while correcting your grammar?

If you use improper grammar on me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.

wordsmythe wrote:
mooosicle wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:
FSeven wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:


Office Space meets Walking Dead meets The Lady in teh Lake (or the Man in the Sand).

Anyone ever had a dream that included someone from GWJ? Like, their username and online persona as you interpret it?

Yeah, wordsmythe was in a dream of mine on page 13. But I've also met him in real life.

Was he spooning you while correcting your grammar?

If you use improper grammar on me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.

A dream where Wordy corrects your grammar is neither crazy nor weird.

I dreamt last night that the machines had taken over, and my fiancee and I had to hide. Most of the dream was us moving to another place, until we found a nice big condo. Then we argued on keeping the curtains down or not, so the machines couldn't see us.

I started playing Mass Effect 3 yesterday, that might explain the dream.

I had a dream where I was a freedom fighter and I had infiltrated enemy territory and my cat Smudge followed me everywhere I went.

Well, this was definitely a weird one.

I was pregnant. I have no idea how it happened, but obviously a pregnant dude was pretty weird so I was attracting all sorts of media attention. When the baby was due they had to perform a c-section, but as soon as they opened me up the baby crawled out of its own accord, instantly grew into a full adult, and went on a super-powered rampage across town. He had powers similar to Dr. Manhattan so nothing could stop him - all the other superheroes* banded together to fight him, but he defeated them easily. I eventually managed to catch up with him (no idea how I recovered so quickly), and I was able to calm him down and stop him from destroying everything. I took him by the hand and led him away from the wreckage, then we sat down and talked about what happened. Apparently the trauma of birth plus the shock of instantly maturing to adulthood plus simultaneously attaining near omniscience and omnipotence was too much for him to handle, so he just panicked and started lashing out at anything that got in his way. He was very embarrassed about the entire ordeal and personally apologized to everyone.

Parts of the dream were oddly bittersweet, especially the aftermath where my weird adult-baby-god-thing son tried to come to terms with his existence, and the fact that he was never able to experience childhood or any semblance of a normal human life. But the rest of the dream was utterly bananas.

*There were a LOT of superheroes in this dream.

So even fictional dream Canadian baby-adult superheroes apologize profusely after doing you wrong.


So last night I dreamt that I was part of the Star Wars Rebel Alliance and we were infiltrating an Empire Cantina... for some reason. Lando and I were working together, disguised as bounty hunters. We were trying to slip down to the basement as the commotion began, but an imperial officer stopped us and told us to go to the hanger and steal the Millenium Falcon and join the Imperial fleet.

Thinking we could use the instruments on the Falcon to spy on the Imperial fleet and intercept communications, we took off into the falcon. As soon as we exited the hanger into the ice revine outside, we were immediately detected as spies. A Wampa wielding Excalibur leaped up and tried to attack us, but we were already to far up.

Imperial fighters were headed out way, but thankfully the Star Fox team showed up to escort us to safety. Monkey D. Luffy was also there, in a flying golf cart. We figured he wasn't bright enough to figure out that a golf cart wasn't suppose to fly, and that is why he could make if fly.

When we made it out of the ice ravine we had starry space on one side and some huge red swirling clouds blocking out the other.

Last night's dream was too weird to properly articulate.

This is not especially crazy or weird, I just found it funny.

I was taking part in a college-level writing course. I wasn't a student, but I wasn't the teacher either, so I guess I was a TA? Anyway, one of the students, who actually looks like one of my college writing professors, approaches me and the teacher for this class, who, upon waking reflection, makes me think she is the Norma Desmond of writing teachers. The teacher proceeds to go on a diatribe about writing to the student, and then asks me to critique the student's short story. I give her some advice about being more creative with her words, and rewrite a sentence in her story from, "She stood in line at the ATM," to something like, "The minutes passed interminably while she waited for the buffoon in front of her to finish extracting what meager cash he could from the stubborn machine," which, once again upon waking reflection, is not an especially good rewrite. The teacher looked back and forth between the student and myself and said with the most melodramatic flourish she could muster, "And that is the difference between communication, and craft!"

Playing Starcraft 2 lately had me dream about a big RTS-style battle.

Included in the mass of troops were our 5 cats. When the fight was over and the dust cleared, only 1 of the 5 had survived the battle. My wife was very upset. I said to her, "It's okay, I can recover them from a previous save."

I was having a perfectly pleasant dream out in the suburbs of some unspecified American town when, off in the distance, tower blocks started exploding. We all turned to look at the phenomenon and I felt for the people who must be dying in the buildings. Suddenly I noticed a fine white line running across the landscape. It appeared to be a graphic showing where a fault like was shifting. In the tarmac around my feet a network of red lines appeared showing where the ground was going to open up. Suddenly we were running around desperately trying to find an area where there were no red lines. It was intense.

There's nothing pleasant about the suburbs. You should have known something was off.

wordsmythe wrote:

There's nothing pleasant about the suburbs. You should have known something was off.

Very true.

Edit: I was having a dream set in a cafe. The waitress was a gorgeous dark haired woman who was pissed at me for some fairly inoffensive comment I'd made. After a time everyone left the cafe and it was just me and her. We talked about the misunderstanding and started to get on very well; so much so that she asked me if I wanted to go to her room (happens all the time.) Neither of us had any contraceptives so she suggested instead that we have sex in a large metal bowl set on the floor of her room. It was full of grey ashes from a fire and surrounded by occult statues and red candles.

As I was considering the pros and cons of the situation the scene shifted to a canal bridge on the edge of a north English town. David Caruso (Horatio Cane in CSI Miami) had an assassin, who had just tried to kill him, pinned to the wall and was saying, "Do you know anything about this city? This city where I live and work? Let me tell you." Ah, I thought, He's going to put this guy off by pointing out just how many police men and secret agents live in the town. "Many, many people make their homes here. There is a talking clown dog, there are firemen, bakers, hairdressers... Any minute now, I thought, he's going to get to the policemen and secret agents.

A lot of dreaming last night.

I was Dr. Reid from the show Criminal Minds, a member of the FBI Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU). We were part of a group protecting an important witness that was preparing to testify. There was this big terrorist cell that was out to kill him. We were standing around the large lobby of some (government?) building when a gunman came in and started shooting people. Some members of the protection detail drew guns and shot him. When that happened, a 2nd gunmen came in and targeted those law enforcement that had shot the first guy. This continued a few times, until one of the gunmen went on this monologue about how he was a 15 year police veteran, I think trying to intimidate everyone. While people, including me, were shooting at him. I hit him where the neck meets the shoulder and he just ignored it and the other places people hit him.

That's when I decided I needed more firepower so I went to my room upstairs where I kept my guns. I kept my guns inside a larger gun. I decided I wanted a bolt-action, but I realized the only bolt-action I brought with me was a .22, so I settled on take-down .30-30 lever-action. As I was putting it together, I was attacked by an intruder. We struggled for a bit and then I finally was able to subdue him by hitting him with the barrel of the rifle.

Later I was outside on the sidewalk when I overheard terrorists talking about attacking the FBI cars. I looked over and saw that they were almost at the intersection.

3 silver/gray FBI Lamborghinis.

There wasn't enough time to warn them, so when the shooty started, I did my best to take out the terrorists from my close position with my lever-action rifle.

Finally we were out in a field, on the top of a hill, defending from waves of terrorist gunmen. My rifle made their heads explode! Eventually we were able to fight our way down the hill.


Other scenes from that dream or another dream the same night include being hunted by the Saint of Killers and having lunch with Olivia Wilde.

Quintin_Stone wrote:

Other scenes from that dream or another dream the same night include being hunted by the Saint of Killers and having lunch with Olivia Wilde.

Did you pull up to the restaurant in your FBI Lamborghini?

No, I never got to ride in one!

Aww, ladies love the FBI Lambos.

Last night I dreamt I was watching Michael Fassbender rehearse a contemporary ballet performance in a Flashdance-esque rehearsal space.

He was really good as well.

I was at my parents' house, which was some kind of basement suite or trailer, teaching a board game to a group we had over for Mother's Day: my sister, a friend's friend, a coworker and her boyfriend, and my former program head from uni. It was a zombie game that I knew was really cool, the board, dice and spinner were already set up, and we were just handing out all the parts. We each had some chits and dice, and were grabbing a handful of Lego minifigs. Extra Lego bricks went back in the tub of Lego that was being passed around. Then I handed out the fighter plane miniatures from Wings of War—nobody wanted the bomber, a cross between an He 111 and a P-38, so I put it on my nightstand which was beside me. Now the friend's friend was dealing out the cards, five each, and I was getting annoyed since he wasn't shuffling or dealing them properly, just handing out five in a row to each person—I was even more annoyed that I didn't get any resource cards, just five sets of cardboard polarized 3D glasses (I thought the 3D in the game was a gimmick, but I could live with it). Everyone else had a mix of glasses and cards. What didn't bother me for some reason was that we were now in a banquet hall, and servers were parking their carts behind us and passing food platters overhead.

I said we were all set to play but someone reminded me we had no characters, so I dealt out those cards too. Then I started explaining the rules: "First in my hand I don't have any resources to do anything, just glasses, so I'm going to need a resource card. To draw I can't move, so that means I have to fight a zombie this turn." I realized it was going to get bogged down trying to explain everything at once, but it was a really great game so I said, "You'll get it as soon as we start playing!"

And then I woke up.

I dreamt mostly in the form of title sequences and trailers last night. There was also a section where I was trying to sell a painting to a nice foreign lady with a line of tiny x shaped scars running through the middle of her face. She'd offered me £450 and I was building up courage to asked for more. I think she could also turn herself into a black Labrador but I'm not sure.

I dreamt last night that I was headed over to my British friend's house for a gaming get together. I drove to a downtown area and found a public parking lot that was fairly empty. As I tried to park my car I discovered I something was wrong with my accelerator and I couldn't quite stop the car, though it was more like the car was sliding around on ice. I frantically swung the car around trying to avoid hitting any other cars or the pedestrians walking by. The car eventually slowed down, but didn't come to a stop still shortly after bounced off the back of the trailer from one of the semi's at work. It knocked both trailer doors completely off, but didn't damage my own car.

Having stopped the car, I just left it were it was in the middle of the parking lot. The pedestrians whom I so narrowly avoided just gave me dirty looks and continued walking. A little embarrassed I walked to my friend's house...

And she apparently didn't live in this downtown area, but up in the hilly suburbs. There was, of course, plenty of free parking at the curb in front of her house.

Stepping inside I discovered I was there for my job. There were four of us assigned to a graveyard duty in the house, and we each had our own bed for our work area. I realized I had left my work uniform (pajamas) in my car and had to head back downtown to get them.

Only I got lost. I couldn't find my way back to the parking lot, but instead found myself inside a large appliance and department store I though the parking lot was next to. I found my way to the elevator on the first floor and looked at the options for parking.

Even though I had parked in a simple, flat parking lot, I was sure that one of the three stories of parking for the store was the one I had parked in. The elevator was something like I'd never seen in real life. It not only allowed you to pick which floor to go to, but also allowed you to choose one of three parts of the floor to be taken to. Taking a guess, I went to the third floor and the third part (it was the third button in the second column at least). I could feel the elevator move not only up, but swing around the building.

I finally realized I was in the wrong parking lot. This parking structure was designed to be space age. It seemed to be made completely out of some slightly yellow metal and glass. I hurried back into the elevator, which was quickly filling up with passengers from that floor, and took the ride back down to the first floor. This time the elevator swung over across the street and stopped next a bus stop, where we all exited.

Still lost I resumed my search for my car. I didn't get far, however, before one of my friends from work came by in a super subcompact car which had been converted into a tow truck. I knew it was a company vehicle since was all silvery white except for the blue mountains wrapping from the driver's door, around the front of the car, to the passenger door.

He said he came to look for me because I was taking so long. He asked how my day was going, and this somehow launched us into some nonsensical philosophical discussion on the meaning of life, the details of which were profound at the time, but quickly left me when my alarm woke me up.

I had a dream that I lived in a small town and the local doctor realized that there were an unusually high number of cancer patients so I went and confronted the mayor in the middle of a parade down main street.

I don't remember the context it occurred in, but I paid for something in my dream last night with a $15 bill.

I had a dream that I was taking a bath and two of our cats not only hopped in the tub, but also seemed to enjoy completely submerging and just hanging out underwater.

Quintin_Stone wrote:

I had a dream that I was taking a bath and two of our cats not only hopped in the tub, but also seemed to enjoy completely submerging and just hanging out underwater.

That is a weird dream.

Damn it!

I had a long dream involving myself, Jeff, Annie, and Britta from Community. Oddly, no Troy, Abed, Shirley, or Pierce. Maybe I was Abed.

There were a number of disconnected scenes, so I'll try and remember them.

We were sitting in the library at a table and random students would greet us as they walked by. Looking over at the table next to us, I saw they were playing D&D and I said to our table, "Ever notice how much popular we are now that we stopped playing D&D?"

We were at a party. Rather swank and upscale, certainly not at Greendale. We were all hitting the sauce a little hard. Annie kept coming on to me and though I was awfully tempted, I didn't want to take advantage of her. This goes on a while, until the alcohol makes us all tired and Annie, Britta and I end up napping in the same bed, all fully clothed. I was on the outside, next to Britta. She kept bogarting the bed and I was having trouble not falling off.

Then we were some guy's house. I'm not sure why we were there. There was another person with us, I think it was supposed to be Milhouse. He was saying the last time he was here, a spider tried to bite him. He was looking nervously at a small spider in its web across the walkway in front of the door. So we crouched down and pointed out to him how small and harmless it was. He crouched down too and seemed reassured. Then one of us pointed out the HUGE spider just inside the house's screen door.

We went inside anyway (minus Milhouse, who was never seen again). The guy who lived there was played by some well-known actor, but I can't complete recall who it was. Billy Baldwin maybe? We were standing around chatting, and I took off the flannel shirt I was wearing over my t-shirt. This seemed to bother Annie, who told me it was inappropriate to take off clothes at someone else's home. I explained that it was not really any different than taking off a jacket or coat, since it wasn't buttoned. She seemed to accept this and start to take off her sweater (she had a shirt on underneath), but I told her that was inappropriate, because she'd have to pull it over her head.

To one-up both of us, Jeff Winger had taken all his clothes off and was lounging in a chair in just his boxers and a wife-beater. Talk about inappropriate.

A little more small talk about the guy's job and then he started showing us around. First up: his scorpion collection. Live scorpions. Did I mention they weren't in a cage or terrarium? Just... walking around. Suddenly we were all a bit nervous because, hey, there's f*cking scorpions everywhere! As he's showing us his other weird collections, we decide it's time to go. The guy is reluctant to let us go though and keeps trying to convince us to stay and chat. We don't.

Fast forward to me walking into a room where Jeff and Annie are, and Annie's on a bed, under the sheets, naked. Turns out I didn't walk in on any hanky-panky, but she got really offended that I was sporting a boner at seeing she was naked under that sheet.

Now that's a real man's scorpion collection!