Quote Me A Quote: Entertain Me

I was checking out the new photos/videos, and realized that I was too lazy to sift through and find a "quote" thread. Feel free to choke me twice if there is one, I also doubt that this will last as long as the other 2 threads.

Halle Berry reaction to her attempt at Jewish humor:

"Oh, my God, have I just, like, ruined my whole career?

It does not matter what they did of you, but what you will do with what they did of you. - Jean-Paul Sartre (I believe)

"Only the shallow know themselves" -Oscar Wilde

Here's a site:


"That rug really tied the room together, did it not?"
---Walter Sopchek (sp?)

wordsmythe wrote:

No! You are stupid and wrong!

"Babies have big heads and big eyes, and tiny little bodies with tiny little arms and legs. So did the aliens at Roswell! I rest my case."

- William Shatner

"Inspiration is for amateurs."

- Chuck Close

You can do anything with bayonets except sit on them
-Thomas Hardy

"A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day."

Alexander Pope wrote:

Words are like leaves; and where they most abound,
Much fruit of sense beneath is rarely found.

"And therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinity of a lot of books and hoping that something would pass from one to the other, while the actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns for exactly the same reason."
-Terry Pratchett


"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this."
-Terry Pratchett


"The time of getting fame for your name on its own is over. Artwork that is only about wanting to be famous will never make you famous. Any fame is a by-product of making something that means something. You don't go to a restaurant and order a meal because you want to have a sh*t."
- Banksy

"You can drag a horticulture, but you can't make her think." - Dorothy Parker, on being challenged to use the word Horticulture in a sentence.

Wahwah, great set of Pratchett quotes

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
George Carlin

The same energy of character which renders a man a daring villain would have rendered him useful in society, had that society been well organized.

Mary Shelley

"There's no sense crying over every mistake
you just keep on trying until you run out of cake"

So if you're wondering what separates a hobby from psychosis, the answer is "about 600 bucks." -- Lore Sjöberg

"Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink"

- the late, great, Charles Bukowski.

Spike Milligan wrote:

"Oh, the snivelling grovelling bastard" - Response at the British Comedy Awards in 1994 after the reading of a letter from Prince Charles congratulating him on his Lifetime Achievement Award.

"I suppose a Knighthood is out of the question then?" - Fax to Prince Charles shortly afterwards.

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, while the wise man grows it under his feet" - unknown proverb, hopefully not referring to pot.

"There were young knights among them who had never been present at a stricken field. Some could not look upon it, some could not speak. They held themselves apart from the others who were cutting down prisoners at my lord's orders. Then an aged knight of Burgundy, who had been sore wounded in the fight, rode up to the group of young knights and said: "˜Are ye maidens with your downcast eyes? Look well upon it. See all of it. Close your eyes to nothing. For the battle is fought to be won, and this is what happens if you lose.' "

- Froissart's Chronicles

My iGoogle quotes of the day 10/26/07

PG Wodehouse wrote:

If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

Robert Anton Wilson wrote:

It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.

I actually kind of liked that last quote. Along those same lines...

The guy who owned my favorite Thai food place wrote:

If you're young and conservative, you're heartless. If you're old and liberal, you're brainless.

Norman Douglas wrote:

How hard it is, sometimes, to trust the evidence of one's senses! How reluctantly the mind consents to reality.

- Building a system from specification is like walking on water, it's easier when frozen.

- Without requirements or design, programming is the process of adding bugs to an empty text file.

- The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school when he was your age.

- The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food - Russian Proverb

- Emerson's Law of Contrariness: Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.

- All men are crushed like bugs under the foot of time.

- Nothing is so good that someone, somewhere, will not hate it.

- The act of censorship is always worse than whatever is being censored. -Chandon Seldon

- Optimists believe this is the best of all possible worlds. Pessimists fear that it is true. -Robert Oppenheimer

- The internet is the greatest source of biased information in the history of mankind.

- Phroggy's Law: A pile of stuff will expand to fit the available space.

- Those who have abandoned their dreams will discourage yours. --danlowlite, everything2.com

- "Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as possible, so the average population of all the planets in the universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the poplulation of the whole Universe is also zero and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination." -- Douglas Adams

- Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill.

- "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals, and 362 to heterosexuals. This doesn't mean God doesn't love heterosexuals, it's just that they need more supervision." -- Lynn Lavner

A selection from my quotes file.

kaostheory wrote:
The guy who owned my favorite Thai food place wrote:

If you're young and conservative, you're heartless. If you're old and liberal, you're brainless.

The actual quote is: "Any 20 year-old who isn't a liberal doesn't have a heart, and any 40 year-old who isn't a conservative doesn't have a brain." It was made by Winston Churchill and at the time the labels liberal and conservative had much different meanings.

My favorite quote?

"A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought." - Peter Wimsey

One of my favorites:

"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
-- C.S. Lewis

Grow Old or Die Trying
Innovation When You Least Expect It
Misfortune Subdues Small Minds
Most People Underestimate Their Capacity to Withstand Pain
The Ship of Failure Floats on a Sea of Excuses
Your Trusted Friend in Science

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers. - Dickens

"Fairy tales don't tell children that dragons exist. They knew this. They tell them that dragons can be defeated."
G. K. Chesterton

"It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money" P.J. O'Rourke

One of my favorites....

We the willing, led by the unknowing
Are doing the impossible, for the ungrateful
We have done so much for so long
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing ~ unknown

"Yes, the purpose of making up for centuries of oppression with 28 days of trivia. I'd rather we got casinos."
-Larry Wilmore, upon being asked if Black History Month served a purpose.

"The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as quickly as possible."
-Mark Twain

"It would be a tragedy if anybody were to push Mr. Gladstone into the river and a disaster if anybody were to pull him out again."
-Benjamin Disraeli

From my quotes file on my blog:

Dom DeLuise to Kermit The Frog wrote:

Just think, if you get your tongue fixed you can make millions of people happy.

Chris Rock wrote:

No matter what a stripper tells you, there is no sex in the champagne in room.

Walt Disney wrote:

Don't forget this, it's the law of the universe that the strong shall survive and the weak must fall by the way, and I don't give a damn what idealistic plan is cooked up, nothing can change that.

Fugazi wrote:

Silence is a dangerous sound.

Ted Nugent wrote:

I didn't get into rock and roll for the women, but I adapted.

Ben Folds wrote:

Mom and Dad, you made me so uptight, I'm gonna cuss on the mic tonight.

Benny Hill wrote:

I'm not against half-naked girls..., not as often as I'd like to be anyway.

Leonard Cohen wrote:

I've seen the future brother and it's murder.