The upside to living out your mid-20's in a college town is that you overhear some of the most wonderful conversations. The downside to living where I do, is that the local college is brimming with 20-something sh*t-tards from Long Island.
Anywho, there's a bar downtown (among 7 in a 2-block radius) that throws a pretty kickin' 80's night, if you can stand the music ("You Spin Me Right Round" is a song entirely composed of Fail). So I went this week, as I know one of the DJs, and was determined to expose the almost exclusively lily-white audience to Morris Day and The Time.
I'm losing the point here, because happy hour lasts for two hours and all mixed drinks are $1, so excuse any possible grammatical or spelling errors. Anyway, here are the conversations America's youth are having after 3-4 drinks.
Slutty Girl 1: Oh-Em-Gee! Madonna! I LOVE this song!
Slutty Girl 2: Did you just say Oh-Em-Gee? Like on the internet?
Slutty Girl 1: Yeah, but, like, it's Madonna.
Fratboy Douchebag 1: What do you want to do?
Fratboy Douchebag 2: I'd really like to just f*ck a Scandanavian girl. Like a huge f*cking Scandanavian girl.
Fratboy Douchebag 1: What about that 99 Luftballoons girl?
Fratboy Douchebag 2: She's German, that's close enough.
Completely Hammered JAP #1: I WANNA HEAR THAT BILLY JOEL SONG.
Annoyed DJ: Which one?
Completely Hammered JAP #2: THAT REALLY LONG ONE WITH ALL THE LYRICS. YOU KNOW, (Proceeds to sing in a key that no song exists in).
Annoyed DJ: "Tiny Dancer" it is.
Only Other Black Guy There: Yo, if they play "You Spin Me Right Round", i'ma straight up shoot some crackas tongiht.
Drunk Girl With Bleached-Blonde Hair: This place totally sucks. They need to play more 50 Cent.
Drunk Girl's Friend: But it's 80's night.
Drunk Girl With Bleached-Blonde Hair: He was born in the 80's, right?
Random Chick #1: He was huge, yeah, but he was like, so lazy.
Random Chick #2: Really? I thought it'd be, like, awesome.
Random Chick #1: No, not really, I mean, he was lazy. Plus the condom came off and got hidden somewhere north of my uterus or something.
Inexplicably Creepy Middle-Aged Man: Would you like to dance?
Another Random Bleached-Blonde: You want me to what?
Inexplicably Creepy Middle-Aged Man: DANCE!?!?!
Blonde: As long as it's not your dick, sure.
God Help Me, A Goddamn Hipster: Gina's so hot, i'd totally go go down on her for, like, an hour, ****t Infection or not.
Guy Making A Very Obvious Attempt Not To Dance: I can't, I don't want to spill my drink.
Drunk Brunette: You p*ssy, you're just being a p*ssy.
Guy Making A Very Obvious Attempt Not To Dance: No, no, i'm trying to GET p*ssy.
And people wonder why I don't get out much. I can be annoyed, half-deaf, sober and have marker on the back of my hand at home for free. 
Have you submitted any of this to "Overheard in New York"?
I also live in a college town with lots of bars. I must have shit for hearing because I don't think I've ever heard someone else's conversation. :\
And now the search pervs have another Google hit to stumble upon.
I love the name, "Only Other Black Guy There".
And you must admire the honesty of the "trying to GET p*ssy" guy. Honesty's best.
Have you submitted any of this to "Overheard in New York"?
I'm two hours north of NYC, and I figure they have more than enough entries, real and fake anyway.
I love the name, "Only Other Black Guy There".
Like I said, the crowd wasn't exactly diverse. There was absolutely no Janet Jackson, Prince, New Edition or Bobby Brown to be found. Oh, but rest assured Dancing With Myself got spun.
I actually enjoy those kind of places more now I've grown out of them, but there does seem to be a particular, clientèle, that frequent 80's bars.
Lowest common denominator springs to mind.
Of course there could just be some correlation with the amount of alcohol needed to endure the 80's experience.
God Help Me, A Goddamn Hipster:Gina's so hot, i'd totally go go down on her for, like, an hour, ****t Infection or not.
You know, i think i'm really innocent because i can't think of any five letter word that fits that and would be starred out.... Closest i can come to starts with a 'y'.
yeast - this is a test to see if this is ****t'ed out.
Pred, I hope you were drinking right along side all the random douche bags and bleached-blonde college folk because even in my sober state I find those quotes hilarious. I could only imagine that I wouldn't be able to contain myself if I were drinking and staring these people in the face.
Prederick wrote:God Help Me, A Goddamn Hipster:Gina's so hot, i'd totally go go down on her for, like, an hour, ****t Infection or not.
You know, i think i'm really innocent because i can't think of any five letter word that fits that and would be starred out.... Closest i can come to starts with a 'y'.
I'm guessing you need to shorten your amount of letters by one.
And C is for cookie.
The downside to living where I do, is that the local college is brimming with 20-something sh*t-tards from Long Island.
I'm not sure how they do it, but it seems like the vast majority of colleges east of the Mississippi fit that description.
Fratboy Douchebag 1: What do you want to do?
Fratboy Douchebag 2: I'd really like to just f*ck a Scandanavian girl. Like a huge f*cking Scandanavian girl.
Fratboy Douchebag 1: What about that 99 Luftballoons girl?
Fratboy Douchebag 2: She's German, that's close enough.
Is it me, or does Douchebag 2 have a point here? That 99 Luftballoons girl was pretty hot.
Good story, but it's a little bit off to attack people because of their musical tastes.
If you don't like the music, don't go. End of.
I use "oh em gee" all the time. I also say "roffle" and "lawl". Being in my late thirties, this totally makes me groovy like the rest of the cool cats.
I've started my first year in college just recently, and in 3 weeks I hate just about everyone. The best times is sitting in lecture halls and listening to dumb bimbos sitting behind me talking about how smashed they got the night before, which is usually Thursday.
I've started my first year in college just recently, and in 3 weeks I hate just about everyone. The best times is sitting in lecture halls and listening to dumb bimbos sitting behind me talking about how smashed they got the night before, which is usually Thursday.
So you're missing out on doing drunken dumb bimbos (who must be doubly stupid ;)) on Wednesday night? For shame...
[edit] I never realised that there is a bimbo hierarchy... what constitutes a smart bimbo? Marrying for wealth?
I have a solution: Move out of Poughkeepsie. All those Marist kids must make you want to throw up all the time. 
And you want to really throw up, move to Boston. Imagine overhearing conversations from trust fund kiddies about how much money they think they don't have.
Prederick wrote:God Help Me, A Goddamn Hipster:Gina's so hot, i'd totally go go down on her for, like, an hour, ****t Infection or not.
You know, i think i'm really innocent because i can't think of any five letter word that fits that and would be starred out.... Closest i can come to starts with a 'y'.
The word is indeed Yeast, I just figured the powers-that-be didn't want anything quite so graphic as your morning wake-up.
Pred, I hope you were drinking...
Well, of course.
Good story, but it's a little bit off to attack people because of their musical tastes.
If you don't like the music, don't go. End of.
If this came off as particularly acerbic, that wasn't the intent. Sure, i'm mocking them, but i'm also requesting they play "Escapade" for god's sake (I already did the tally, it's like -625 Man Points). Half the stuff they play I do fully enjoy, and I don't knock people for going. Many of them are spoiled Real-World wannabes for a myriad of other reasons.
I've started my first year in college just recently, and in 3 weeks I hate just about everyone. The best times is sitting in lecture halls and listening to dumb bimbos sitting behind me talking about how smashed they got the night before, which is usually Thursday.
The Hipsters are worse. Really. It seems impossible, but god, they're worse.
That is all.
You know, college/Uni in the UK feels like it's so much simpler in clique-age.
No problem with the censor Pred, i just figured you'd had put the Y in there as it was.... my initial thought was the same as the doctors...
The word is indeed Yeast, I just figured the powers-that-be didn't want anything quite so graphic as your morning wake-up.
But yeast is used to make bread. And beer. That is why I have great respect for that kind of infection. It seems somehow to connect all three of my favorite things in life: eating, drinking, and the female anatomy.
I've started my first year in college just recently, and in 3 weeks I hate just about everyone. The best times is sitting in lecture halls and listening to dumb bimbos sitting behind me talking about how smashed they got the night before, which is usually Thursday.
I rather my lecture be interrupted by some bimbo gossiping then sitting near the know it all who wont put down his damn hand or the kid who tries to mutter every answer like hes already taken the class. You know you have attempted to answer to many questions when the Prof starts the *nods slowly* "Not exactly but sure..." and quickly moves on.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=0VNx78SAq8M
hopefully http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zalbxUmbIv0 also made an appearance.
Guy Making A Very Obvious Attempt Not To Dance: I can't, I don't want to spill my drink.
Drunk Brunette: You p*ssy, you're just being a p*ssy.
Guy Making A Very Obvious Attempt Not To Dance: No, no, i'm trying to GET p*ssy.
Damn you, the secret's out!
I'm not sure how they do it, but it seems like the vast majority of colleges east of the Mississippi fit that description.
Funny, mine was full of kids from Manhattan, with healthy doses of the other boroughs + rich New Englanders. Then again, most Chicagoans seem to think that "U of C" is some mispronunciation of "UIC" (U of I @ Chicago).
On the plus side, I got to meet kids who went to boarding schools for high school (erm... "prep school"), which I thought only existed in movies. They were similarly surprised that little league baseball is a real thing.
The Hipsters are worse. Really. It seems impossible, but god, they're worse.
I totally agree. The one redeeming thing about hipsters is that they love to tell me how "authentic" and "local" I am. That cracks me up.
I totally agree. The one redeeming thing about hipsters is that they love to tell me how "authentic" I am.
I call foul!
The Hipsters are worse. Really. It seems impossible, but god, they're worse.
I hate those motherf*ckers.
I use "oh em gee" all the time. I also say "roffle" and "lawl". Being in my late thirties, this totally makes me groovy like the rest of the cool cats.
That's it, you just made the list. Right under Hemidal.
That is all.
"You don't know 'Jungle Love?' That shit is the mad notes. Written by God herself and sent down to the greatest band in the world: The mother-f*cking Time."
So... question time. I hear wordy rail against them all the time, but what exactly is a "hipster"?
So... question time. I hear wordy rail against them all the time, but what exactly is a "hipster"? :)
BTW, i like this cartoon
Do a search for hipster in the search function and you'll get the idea...
Poppinfresh wrote:That is all.
"You don't know 'Jungle Love?' That shit is the mad notes. Written by God herself and sent down to the greatest band in the world: The mother-f*cking Time."
I'm not saying that's their only song, just saying that I fully endorse Prince's greatest success. I'm the only guy I know who actually owns a Time album.
Quintin_Stone wrote:So... question time. I hear wordy rail against them all the time, but what exactly is a "hipster"? :)
BTW, i like this cartoon
Do a search for hipster in the search function and you'll get the idea...
Google around some and you'll get plenty of answers.
Here's my half-assed definition:
You know those kids with the terrible haircuts you see on TV commercials and LiveJournal pages? The skinny dudes who might be wearing girls' pants? Those 20-somethings that seem to have watched Rent too many times, and taken it as some sort of life plan, complete with mooching off of and resenting their rich parents?
Perhaps easier: You know the snobby barista at your coffee shop?
Those, roughly, are hipsters. I think they prefer "neo-bohemians" or something, though.
For more comics making fun of hipsters, search toothpastefordinner.com and nataliedee.com. For a better, less biased look at hipsters in their natural habitat, check out QuestionableContent.net.
I'm not saying that's their only song, just saying that I fully endorse Prince's greatest success. I'm the only guy I know who actually owns a Time album.
It wasn't an accusation, Poppin, I was simply quoting Jay from Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back.
Poppinfresh wrote:I'm not saying that's their only song, just saying that I fully endorse Prince's greatest success. I'm the only guy I know who actually owns a Time album.
Doh!
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