Post a joke, entertain me! (Some may be NSFW)

Sweet Merciful Crap.

That took forever to read. I enjoyed it though.

Nosferatu wrote:

Good Lord that was a long winding lead up to a truely horrible pun.

That's what makes it so awesome!

For that, the Coffee Grinder should immediately be elevated to "Choose Your Tag" status... but then summarily fired.

I can't tell whether these jokes are meant to be as simple as possible or as offensive as possible.

So to cover all eventualities:

What do you call a man...

...with 50 rabbits up his arse?
Warren

...with a seagull on his head?
Cliff

...With a wire coming out his arse?
Mike

...With a hotel on his head?
Norman Tebbit (Brighton IRA bomb reference)

...With a car dashboard in his face?
Dodi Fayed

How do they know that Pricess Diana didn't have dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders by the car

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

What do you get if you put a baby into a blender?
An erection

What did cinderella say when she got to the ball?

There was this small town in Kansas that was finally getting a bank built. Since this was their first bank, they decided to get a mural painted ont the side that was facing the middle of town. The entire town voted on a picture of Custer's Last Stand. When they discussed which artist they should use, someone said a very famous artist had moved to this little town after quitting the New York art scene abruptly. They approached him and he agreed on two conditions. One, this must be his vision of Custer's Last Stand. Two, nobody can see it until it was completely finished. The city council accepted his terms.

One month later, the wall was finished and a tarp was placed over it and it was sectioned off. As ther rest of the bank was built, people could see the artist frequently going under the tarp to paint. Finally, he told the mayer that he was done. The town being small, decided to have a grand unveiling. Half the town showed up and the mayer booked the high school marching band and there were a few guest speakers. After an hour and a half of fanfare, the mayor introduced the artist to the podium

The artist walked up and said, "I did a lot of research of General Custer and his brave death. I can only imagine what he must have been thinking on that fateful day. And so I give you, The Last Thoughts of General Custer." He pulled the rope and the tarp fell down.... and was received with stunned silence. The artist had painted a hillside with dozens of native americans having sex, overlooked by a cow with a halo, wings, and a harp wearing robes surrounded by clouds. The mayor was furious and yelled, "How in the hell is that honoring General Custer? He's not even in the picture!"

The artist replied, "This was Custer's last thought. 'Holy cow, look at all those f*cking Indians!'"

What did the leper say to the hooker?

[color=white]Keep the tip![/color]
hubbinsd wrote:

What did the leper say to the hooker?

[color=white]Keep the tip![/color]

Oh man, this one got me.

*Legion* wrote:

For that, the Coffee Grinder should immediately be elevated to "Choose Your Tag" status... but then summarily fired.

Heh, I've been a Coffee Grinder for nigh on a year-and-a-half now. You know that guy at the office that nobody knows the name of and who sticks his head out of his cubicle once in a blue moon to add a single point to a conversation in progress? That is me.

Jaunty wrote:

Heh, I've been a Coffee Grinder for nigh on a year-and-a-half now. You know that guy at the office that nobody knows the name of and who sticks his head out of his cubicle once in a blue moon to add a single 5 page point to a conversation in progress? That is me.

Fixed!

Jaunty, that was a great story. That awful pun made it all the better. Well done!

------------

What's red, white and goes around in a circle?

[color=white]A baby with it's hand nailed to the floor.[/color]

What's red and white and sits in the corner?

[color=white]A baby chewing on a razor blade.[/color]

What's red, white, black, green and blue and sits in the corner?

[color=white]The same baby, two weeks later.[/color]

What had 6 arms, 6 legs, and goes "Ho de dow, ho de dow, ho de dow?"

[color=white]Three black guys running for the elevator.[/color]

They make white babies now?

Also, I'm often surprised by how different the "black" accent seems to be, depending on where you are. It's not really that consistent.

Then again, I pay a lot of attention to words.

***************WARNING DIRTY JOKE!!!************

What has 2 grey legs, and two brown legs?

[color=white]An elephant with diarrhea![/color]

If you laugh, you're coming with me. To hell.

You have been warned.

How do you keep the neighbour's kids off the lawn?

[color=white]Molest them.[/color]
Deserter wrote:

If you laugh, you're coming with me. To hell.

God Damnit!

Deserter wrote:

If you laugh, you're coming with me. To hell.

You have been warned.

I think after laughing hysterically at Mars' child jokes I'm already guaranteed a spot!

There is ribaldry, there's sailor talk, and then there's...

The Good Ship Venus. Incomprehensibly NSFW.

My mom actually justs sent me this:

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her
9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom
closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not
realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice"
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My Dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in
the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Sold."

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go
outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."

The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$1,000"

The Dad says, "That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...that
is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to
confession."

They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the
confessional booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again;
you're in my closet now."

A couple made a deal that whomever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word he made contact, "Connie....Connie. "

"Is that you, Joe?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful! What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course I have sex again, bask in the warm sun, and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. Finally I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again!"

"Oh, Joe you surely must be in Heaven!"

"Not exactly... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona."

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"

"Not yet" she replied.

Class on Observation

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid.
"This", he explained to the class, "is urine. In order to be a doctor, you must be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."

After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But, being the good students that they were, the jar was passed around and, one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar jar and then put it into their mouth.

After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "Had any of you been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth."

What's black and sits on a tree?
A peeping tom after a forest fire.

What's orange and looks good on a hippie?
Fire.

What's brown and wrinkled and lives in the bell tower?
The lunch bag of Notre Dame.

A kid arriving from school says to his mother:
- Mom, everyone is saying I'm too hairy!
The mother, frightened yells to his husband:
- Honey! The dog is talking!

Three Rednecks were working on a cell phone tower-Cooter, Pete and K.C.
As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife."
KC says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.
Pete says, "Where did you get that beer, KC?"
"Cooter's wife gave it to me," KC replies.
That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?
Well, not exactly, KC says. When she answered the door, I said to her, "You must be Cooter's widow'." She said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow.".... then I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are."
Rednecks Are Good At Sensitive Stuff

Doctor: You only have three minutes to live.
Patient: Is there nothing you can do for me?
Doctor: Well, I could prepare some cup noodles for you.

Masochist: Hurt me!
Sadist: No!

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in the bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks, "Where are you from?"
I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds, "You don't say. I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course," replies the second man, and they both pour back their drinks.
Curious, the first man then asks, "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin!" The men both continue drinking.
Curiosity strikes again and the first man asks, "What school did you go to?"
"St. Mary's," replied the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable," the first man says. "I went to St. Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Mally twins are drunk again."

One day, little 5 year old Johnny walked into the bathroom where his mother, having just got out of the shower, stood totally naked. Looking a bit confused, he asked her,
"Mummy, what's that split between your legs?"
A little taken aback, she then answered,
"Oh, that's where Daddy accidentally hit me with the axe"
"Good shot" replied Johnny, "Right in the {sexist slur}".

Little Joe asks his father: "Daddy, what are those humps mom has on her body?"
His father answers after a few seconds of silence: "Those are balloons. They'll take your mother to heaven when she dies."
A few weeks later, Little Joe comes running to his father: "Daddy! Daddy! Mom's dying!"
His father asks shocked: "Why? What happened?"
Little Joe: "The mailman is blowing up her balloons and she's crying 'Oh God! Oh God! I'm coming!'"

I also know a few really sadistic jokes. Read them at your own risk:

What's black and knocks at the window?

[color=white]A baby in the oven.[/color]

What's blue, 20 inches long and makes women cry?

[color=white]A stillborn baby.[/color]

Oh man, Andy, there are some really good ones in there!

As the new proud papa of two hatchling snapping turtles, I've been posting on a Snapping Turtle forum (Yes, they have forums for everything) and found these jokes there. Enjoy!

Turtle Humor

A Missourian and a Texan are driving down one of our beautiful back roads when they spot a rabbit hopping across the road. The Texan had never been to Missouri so, he asks,"What was that?". The Missourian replies, "That's a rabbit". The Texan says, "We got 'em alot bigger where I come from!". They drive a little further and they see a nice 10 point buck. Again the Texan asks, "What was that?" The Missourian says, "That's a deer". The Texan says "Man, we got'em twice as big where I come from!" The Missourian was now starting to get a bit ticked at his buddy's comments, but didn't say anything. He just kept driving. They went a bit further down the road when they passed the biggest snapping turtle you can ever imaging. Big claws, huge head, the thing had to weigh at least 120 pounds! The Texan, surprised at what they had just seen, asks "WHAT WAS THAT !?!?" The Missourian, kind of proud of the specimen, but sick and tired of his friends smart remarks replied "That was a TICK!"
----------
A bruised and battered turtle crawls into a police station. He says to the cop: "A gang of snails just beat me up!". The cop says: "Did you get a good look at them?". The turtle says: "Well, no, it all happened so fast!".
----------
Three snapping turtles, Mick, Andy, and Roy, decide to go on a picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is 10 miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.

When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. 'Ok Roy give me the bottle opener'

'I didn't bring it' says Roy 'I thought you packed it'

Mick gets worried, he turns to Andy, 'Did you bring the bottle opener?'
Naturally Andy didn't bring it. So they're stuck 10 miles from home without a bottle opener. Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it.

But he refuses saying - 'You'll eat all the sandwiches!'

After two hours, and after they've sworn on their turtle lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.

So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace. 20 days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Andy are starving, but a promise is a promise.

Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise.

Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Roy pops up from behind a rock and shouts.....

'I KNEW IT........................I'M NOT F@@@ING GOING!'
-----------
A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb.

About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.

Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds. Mummy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"
----------
And just for fun..

A baby seal walks into a club and wakes up a fur coat.

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in
your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch!

What's 4 feet tall, black and blue, and hates sex?

[color=white]The toddler in my trunk.[/color]
Grenn wrote:

What's 4 feet tall, black and blue, and hates sex?

[color=white]The toddler in my trunk.[/color]

4 feet? Really?

(PS: You coming to the S&T?)

An Eskimo is having trouble with his snowmobile, so he takes it in to the mechanic. The mechanic runs a practiced eye over it, and says it'll be about an hour while he figures out what's wrong. The Eskimo says he's going to have a sandwich, and then he'll be back to see what the problem is. An hour passes, and the Eskimo shows up again and raps on the service counter. The mechanic emerges from the garage and says, "Looks like you've blown a seal." The Eskimo looks alarmed for a moment, touches his mouth self-consciously, and replies, "That's just mayonnaise, man."

Bad little Johnny comes home to the farm after a bad day of school, opens the gate, sees the cow standing in his path and smacks it on the head. He sees one of the pigs lying on its side, and runs over and kicks it as hard as he can. Feeling a little better, he walks inside to find his mother waiting for him. "Johnny, I saw you hit the cow, no milk for a month for you, young man! And I saw what you did to the pig, too! No bacon for a month!" At that moment, he hears his father yell "Damn that cat!" followed by the sound of a heavy blow and a feline screech. Johnny looks up at his mother. "You want to tell him, or should I?"

A lawyer is hit by a bus, and finds himself in Hell. Satan walks up, claps him on the shoulder, and says, "Well, you knew you'd be coming here eventually. But hey, it's not as bad as you think. I'll give you three choices on how you want to spend eternity." He indicates three closed doors a short ways away. "Have a look, and tell me which one is for you." So the guy nervously walks over and opens the first door, where he sees countless people standing on their heads on a freezing stone floor, screaming in pain. This doesn't look too appealing, so he proceeds on to door number two, where he sees almost the same thing, except this time everyone is standing on their heads on sizzling hot sand. He shuts it and moves on to door number three, where hordes of people are sitting around on an endless, steaming pile of sh*t, drinking coffee. He mulls it over and says to Satan, "I'll take door number three." Satan nods, hands him a mug, and nudges him through the door. The guy sets himself down, sinks in a couple feet, and sips his coffee. Other than the offensive smell, the place actually isn't so bad, and the coffee is pretty tasty. Then the door opens, and Satan pokes his head in and says, "Okay people, break time is over, back on your heads."

Bad little Johnny is only in the 2nd grade, but he's in love with good little Susie next door. He decides to ask her father for her hand in marriage. So he walks over, goes inside, and says, "Mr. McKenzie, I'd like to marry Susie." Mr. McKenzie smiles and says, "Well, young man, have you thought about providing for her? How will you pay for things?" Johnny replies that he gets five dollars a week for his allowance, and Susie gets five as well, so they could combine that and they'd have ten whole dollars a week. Mr. McKenzie nods sagely, then says, "And what about a house? Where would you live?" Johnny promptly says that they could live in the attic in his parents' house, and no one would mind. Mr. McKenzie is a little bit taken aback that Johnny has already thought about these things, so he says, "Okay Johnny, and what will you do if the two of you should have children one day?" Johnny looks at him for a minute, then shrugs and sticks his hands in his pockets. "Well, we've been lucky so far..."

It's important to have a woman that's beautiful.
It's important to have a woman that can cook.
It's important to have a woman with money.
But what's most important, is that these women never meet.

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the boss would not
allow me to take leave.

I thought that maybe if I acted "crazy", then he would tell me to take
a few days off.

So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker, Alana (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told Linda that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so that the
boss might think I was "crazy" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, "What in
the name of good GOD are you doing?"

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a
couple of days."

I jumped down and walked out of the office...

When my co-worker, Alana(the blonde) followed me, the boss asked her,
"And where do you think you're going?!"

She said, "I'm going home,too. I can't work in the dark.

Moses and Jesus were playing golf. They reached the water hazard and Jesus took out his 9 iron and addressed the ball.

"Hold it!" yelled Moses, "That's too far. You need to use a wood for that shot."

"No," replied Jesus, "I saw Tiger Woods make this shot with a 9 iron on TV last Sunday."

Jesus swung at the ball, and "kerplunk" it went right in the middle of the water hazard. Moses parted the water and Jesus fetched His ball. He set up the ball and again took out His 9 iron.

"Hold it!" yelled Moses, "I already told You that You need a wood for that shot."

"No," replied Jesus, "Tiger Woods made this shot with an iron on TV last Sunday."

"OK," said Moses, "But I'm not helping You get Your ball this time."

Jesus swung at the ball, and again it went "kerplunk" right in the middle of the water hazard. Jesus started walking across the water to retrieve His ball.

About that time a foursome played up. When they saw Jesus walking on the water they asked Moses:

"Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?"

"Hell no," replied Moses, "He thinks He's Tiger Woods."

Pol, I'm so offended by that joke I can't see straight. Nobody makes fun of Tiger on my watch.

This was just sent to me. Pardon the formatting, I tried to fix it as much as possible:

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas.

Judge
#3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting
from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili
cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I
happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for
directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You
could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure
what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose
feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for
fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was
unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer
maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is
starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead
and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions,
garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with
gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned
peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can
of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about judge number 3. He appears to be a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and
I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not
too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither
mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report